ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: please correct my essay

Anonymous — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:07:29 GMT

hi abosalman

Thank you so much u saved my day actualy a frind was asking me to do an essay for her about the negative affect of horror movies on ppl

i liked what you wrote it is really clear and simple ,, and i do beleive that violence in all kind of movies stayes in human deep inside and it will come out in very bad raction.

in our religon islam specially for ( shiaa ) since im not (sunny) we have studies that forbed children and adults to watch any kind of strong scary scenes coz it will stay in human memory and therefor affect his behavior and the way he thinks.

have a gr8 day :)

Re: please correct my essay

Mister Micawber — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 08:13:02 GMT

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What is the secret of loving horror movies which violate human nature? The psychologists believe that viewing violence increases aggression. In contrast, experts on youth and violence believe that violence in the media has no direct link to real life violence. Human beings' characters are based on thought and emotion .So whatever happens, these movies will affect them either in positive or negative way. By Watching~~, involving or passing through~~ these kinds of moments which ~~are~~ might be peaceful or violent. ~~[no main verb!] As a result, repeated exposure to that kinds of movies~~ may increase the probability of violent behavior and affect a child's personality. Moreover, they are a major contributor to aggressive and violent behavior in real life .

The probability of violent behavior may be increased through the demonstration and reinforcement of violent attitudes, giving ~~problem~~ ~~solving strategies because~~ ~~it gives~~ ideas of how to be a criminal. Furthermore, it makes alterations in related cognitive processes.

Children's personality may be affected and they may be becomes afraid of anything. Their minds will never be in peace again. They will have nightmares day and night. Furthermore, they will imagine all the scary scenes. .

Horror movies are a major contributor to aggressive and violent behavior in real life. When they watch such kind of movies, children and teens~~, they~~ try to behave like them. Thus, they increase their enthusiasm for violent scenes. Actually this category likes to imitate all the unnatural and frightening scenes. They think that they have the ability to do anything. They start to show off among their ~~colleagues and~~ friends in schools or clubs or even in their neighborhood. They never think mentally how bad it is. It may hurt themselves or others. Their love to be strong and ability to do anything make them blind to the bad effects of their environment.

Re: please correct my essay

aboslman — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:43:35 GMT

What is the secret of loving horror movies which are violating a human nature? The psychologists believe that viewing violence increases aggression. In contrast, experts on youth and violence believe that violence in the media has no direct link to real life violence. Human beings' characters based on mental and emotion .So whatever happens, will affect them either in positive or negative way. By watching, involving or passing through this kind of moments which are might be peace or violence. [no main verb!] As a result, repeated exposure to that kinds of movies may increase the probability of violent behavior, affect child personality. Moreover, it is a major contributor to aggressive and violent behavior in real life.

The probability of violent behavior may be increased through the demonstration and reinforcement of violent attitudes, problem solving strategies because it gives ideas of how to be acriminal. (?). Furthermore,it gives alterations in related cognitive processes. [no main verb!]

child personality may be affected and they may be becomes afraid of anything. Their minds will never be in peace again. They will have nightmares day and night,Furthermore, they will imagine all the scary scenes. .

Horror movies are a major contributor to aggressive and violent behavior in real life. When they watch such kind of movies especially children and teens, they try to behave like them. thus increase their enthusiasm of violence scenes. Actually this category likes to imitate all the unnatural scary and frightful scenes. They think that they have the ability to do anything.(?) They start to show off among their colleagues and friends in schools or clubs or even in their neighborhood. They never think mentally how bad it is. It may hurt themselves or others. Their love to be strong and ability to do anything make them blind to the bad effects of their environment.

Finally, watching horror movies have bad results on child personality and because it is the major contributor to aggressive and violent behavior in real life it will affect the humanity and mentality of people. It takes them away from real life. They think life is so complicated and full of hatred. They see only the black side of the world. Their characters are pessimistic

Re: please correct my essay

Mister Micawber — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:56:38 GMT

.
I have underlined some problem areas:

The probability of violent behavior may be increased through the demonstration and reinforcement of violent attitudes, problem solving strategies (?). Furthermore, through alterations in related cognitive processes. [no main verb!]

Kids personality may be affected, they may be afraid from anything. Their minds will never be in peace again. They will have nightmares day and night, they will imagine all the scary scenes and they will have phobia.

It is a major contributor to aggressive and violent behavior in real live. When they watch such kind of movie especially kids and teens, they use to behave like them. They increase their enthusiasm in violence scenes. Actually this category likes to imitate all the up normal, scary and frightful scenes. They think that they have the most energetic power all over the world.(?) They start to show off among their colleagues and friends in schools or clubs or even in their neighborhood. They never think mentally how bad it is. It may hurt themselves or others. Their love to be strong and can do anything make them blind to the bad effects to their environment.

Finally, watching this kind of movies will affect the behaviors and mentality of people. It takes them away from real life. They think life is so complicated and full of hatred. They see only the black side of the world. Their characters are pessimistic

No conclusion.

Re: please correct my essay

aboslman — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:19:02 GMT

The probability of violent behavior may be increased through the demonstration and reinforcement of violent attitudes, problem solving strategies. Furthermore, through alterations in related cognitive processes.

It is a major contributor to aggressive and violent behavior in real live. When they watch such kind of movie especially kids and teens, they use to behave like them. They increase their enthusiasm in violence scenes. Actually this category likes to imitate all the up normal, scary and frightful scenes. They think that they have the most energetic power all over the world. They start to show off among their colleagues and friends in schools or clubs or even in their neighborhood. They never think mentally how bad it is. It may hurt themselves or others. Their love to be strong and can do anything make them blind to the bad effects to their environment.

Re: please correct my essay

Mister Micawber — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 04:46:43 GMT

.
Please organize your essay into paragraphs first. No one is interested in slashing through that jungle of verbiage.

please correct my essay

aboslman — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 03:07:39 GMT

What is the secret for loving horror movies which violating the human nature? The psychologists believe that viewing violence increases aggression. In contrast, experts on youth and violence believe that violence in the media has no direct link to real life violence. Human beings' characters based on mental and emotion .So whatever happens, will affect them either in positive or negative way. By watching, involving or passing through this kind of moments which might be peace or violence. As a result, repeated exposure to this kind of movies may increase the probability of violent behavior, affect kids personality and it is a major contributor to aggressive and violent behavior in real live. The probability of violent behavior may be increased through the demonstration and reinforcement of violent attitudes, problem solving strategies. Furthermore, through alterations in related cognitive processes.Kids personality may be affected, they may be afraid from anything. Their minds will never be in peace again. They will have nightmares day and night, they will imagine all the scary scenes and they will have phobia.It is a major contributor to aggressive and violent behavior in real live. When they watch such kind of movie especially kids and teens, they use to behave like them. They increase their enthusiasm in violence scenes. Actually this category likes to imitate all the up normal, scary and frightful scenes. They think that they have the most energetic power all over the world. They start to show off among their colleagues and friends in schools or clubs or even in their neighborhood. They never think mentally how bad it is. It may hurt themselves or others. Their love to be strong and can do anything make them blind to the bad effects to their environment.Finally, watching this kind of movies will affect the behaviors and mentality of people. It takes them away from real life. They think life is so complicated and full of hatred. They see only the black side of the world. Their characters are pessimistic.