ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: please correct my essay

aboslman — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 21:22:32 GMT

Do you know why about a billion muslims all over the globe stand toward the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia five times or more daily? "In my opinion, the most important image of our country is our religious culture." The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is considered as the capital city of Islamic world, and it has a unique status unrivalled by any other country in the world because it is the location of the holiest cities for many centuries which are Makkah and Madinah.

Makkah is the place which captures the hearts of a billion Moslems all over the globe. It is the place where God's will was revealed to Mohammed (peace be upon him), and it is now the location of the Holy Mosque and the scared Ka'ba. Furthermore, it is also the holiest spot on the earth and the destination of millions of pilgrims and visitors. Allah has honored it in several verses in his Holy Quran in which it is given several names including Makkah, Bakkah and Um-Alqura. Moreover, he has sworn on its name, thus giving a special status unrivalled by any other city in the world.

Madinah (officially al Madinah alMunawwarah) is the second holiest city in Islam and the location of Mohammed's (peace be upon him) mosque. In addition, it is the location of the burial place of him and his friends. It was also the place where he (peace be upon him) and his followers left after attacks against them in Makkah, now known as the Hijrah. Moreover, it is the place where Islam has been started to spread all over the world.

Eventually, all people even non-Muslims know what Makkah and Madinah mean for Muslims and they respect Muslims feelings toward the holy Makkah and Madinah that continues since hundreds of years.

Re: please correct my essay

Grammar Geek — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:57:53 GMT

Hi aboslman - Anything marked with a highlight needs another look. Don't set off the "peace be upon him" with both commas and parentheses. I only highlighted it the first time. Is it necessary to do it every time? It really disrupts the flow of the writing. Must you repeat his name each time? Can you use "he" for some of them? You do not spell the cities the same way each time, thought I think it's simply that you left out the A in the final Madinah

Do you know why about a billion persons all over the globe stand toward the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia five times or more daily? The most important symbol which represents our country in my humble opinion is our religion culture. Is a religion a symbol? "In my opinion, the most important image of our country is our religious culture." The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia considers as the capital city of Islamic world, and it has a unique status unrivalled by any other country in the world because it is the location of the holiest cities in the world for many centuries which are Makkah and Madinah. The repetition of "in the world" is a bit awkward and this sentence is a bit long. (And look, you use the same phrase exactly in the next paragraph.)

Makkah is the place which captures the hearts of a billion Moslems all over the globe. It is the place where God's will was revealed to Mohammed, (peace be upon him), and it is now the location of the Holy Mosque and the scared Ka'ba. Furthermore, it is also the holiest spot on the earth and the destination of millions of pilgrims and visitors. Allah has honored it in several verses in his Holy Quran in which it is given several names including: Makkah, Bakkah and Um-Alqura. Moreover, he has sworn on its name, thus giving a unique status unrivalled by any other city in the world. -- start a new pargraph here -- Madinah (officially al Madinah alMunawwarah) is the second holiest city in Islam and the location of Mohammed's, (peace be upon him) mosque. In addition, it is the location of the burial place of Mohammed, (peace be upon him) and his friends. It was also the place where Mohammed, (peace be upon him) and his followers left after attacks against them in Makkah, now known as the Hijrah. Moreover, it is the place where Islam has been spread. This doesn't make sense. Islam has spread all over the world. Eventually, all people even non-Muslims know what Makkah and Mdinah mean for Muslims and they respect Muslims feelings toward the holy Makkah and Madinah which carry on since hundreds of years.

please correct my essay

aboslman — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:40:23 GMT

Do you know why about a billion persons all over the globe stand toward the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia five times or more daily? The most important symbol which represents our country in my humble opinion is our religion culture. The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia considers as the capital city of Islamic world, and it has a unique status unrivalled by any other country in the world because it is the location of the holiest cities in the world for many centuries which are Makkah and Madinah.

Madinah (officially al Madinah alMunawwarah) is the second holiest city in Islam and the location of Mohammed, (peace be upon him) mosque. In addition, it is the location of the burial place of Mohammed, (peace be upon him) and his friends. It was also the place where Mohammed, (peace be upon him) and his followers left after attacks against them in Makkah, now known as the Hijrah. Moreover, it is the place where Islam has been spread.

Eventually, all people even non Muslims know what Makkah and Mdinah mean for Muslims and they respect Muslims feelings toward the holy Makkah and Madinah which carry on since hundreds of years.