ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: clean-up day

Ticcky — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:26:46 GMT

Thanks a lot

Re: clean-up day

Feebs11 — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:09:01 GMT

Ticcky
Hello everyone!
Could anyone please take a look at my essay and give some comments on it? Anything will be helpful, as I'm taking the CAE exam in June and I need to improve my writing...
The topic is from my textbook. I'm asked to write an article about cleanliness on college and about recently introduced principal's measures.

Clean-up Day

Did you know that there has been, in average, only one bin for each 400m of the foot-paths in the college area? This is fortunately not true any more. The Principal launched a campaign against litter in the college â she declared a Clean-Up Day and set up few [a few/some] new rules.

The main purpose of the Clean-Up Day was to draw students' attention ~~and to make a cut~~ to their carelessness as to the litter around the college. Volunteers were given rubbish bags and rubber gloves to collect rubbish ~~from around the college~~ and they were promised a free buffet supper as a little thank you. They were also asked to hand out leaflets about how to keep the college clean. Yet this has not had a very positive response as it only produced more rubbish to get rid of.

Responses to the set-up new rules are uneven. Students really appreciate the extra bins, which ~~even~~ with their nature-friendly design, nicely complement the college grounds. Very good voice has also views were expressed, not only among the non-smoking students' community, about a no smoking policy which indirectly helped the college not to have ~~the~~ cigarette ends everywhere. Providing that you are a non-smoker, you must love this rule. What you might find a bit annoying and strict is the ~~height~~ level of the set fines for dropping litter on the college grounds. Opinions on this topic differ from student to student. Many of them, though a minority, ~~are heard~~ think/believe that it would lead them to ~~the~~ bankruptcy and that it is a nonsense to have such high fines, whereas the Principal, teachers and the majority of the students think that it could motivate those students for whom taking their empty packs and used tissues to the bin was too much effort ~~to put in it hadn't paid them off to undertake~~.

All in all, the Clean-Up Day was very successful and definitely made our college a cleaner place, and if nothing else it at least made people feel more positive about keeping the college clean. So next time you see someone to get rid of a food-pack in the wrong place, show him how to do it the proper way.

clean-up day

Ticcky — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 07:54:12 GMT

Hello everyone!

Could anyone please take a look at my essay and give some comments on it? Anything will be helpful, as I'm taking the CAE exam in June and I need to improve my writing...

The topic is from my textbook. I'm asked to write an article about cleanliness on college and about recently introduced principal's measures.

Clean-up Day

Did you know that there has been, in average, only 1 bin for each 400m of the foot-paths in the college areal? This is fortunately not true anymore. The principal launched a campaign against litter in the college â she declared a Clean-up day and set up few new rules.

The main purpose of the Clean-up day was to draw students' attention and to make a cut to their carelessness as to the litter around the college. Volunteers were given rubbish bags and rubber gloves to collect rubbish from around the college and they were promised a free buffet supper as a little thank you. They were also asked to hand out leaflets about how to keep the college clean. Yet this has not had a very positive response as it only produced more rubbish to get rid of.

Responses to the set-up rules are uneven. Students really appreciate the extra bins which even with their nature-friendly design nicely complements the college grounds. Very good voice has also, not only among the non-smoking students' community, a no smoking policy which indirectly helped the college not to have the cigarette ends everywhere. Providing that you are a non-smoker you must love this rule. What you might find a bit annoying and strict is the height of the set fines for dropping litter on the college grounds. Opinions on this topic differs from student to student. Many of them, though the minority, are heard that it would lead them to the bankruptcy and that it is a nonsense to have such high fines, whereas the principal, teachers and the majority of the students think that it could motivate the students for whom taking the empty packs and used tissues to the bin was so much effort to put in it hadn't paid them off to undertake.

All in all, the Clean-up Day was very successful and definitely made our college a cleaner place, and if nothing else it at least made people feel more positive about keeping the college clean. So next time you see someone to get rid of a food-pack at a wrong place show him how to do it the proper way.