ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: Money to live, or live to money?

Mister Micawber — Tue, 06 May 2008 08:33:48 GMT

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Try this:

I would appreciate it if you could let me know the mistakes I am sure I made somewhere in the essay below.

I felt the times have really changed when I watched a TV program about the salary of various occupations. Today, people care a lot about money because food and gas prices have risen but salaries have stayed the same or have fallen. Even a childrenâs show that introduces various jobs mentioned the average salaries of todayâs jobs at the end of the program, which was considered rude and improper when I was a child. The collapse of communism brought us the ~~sectional~~ [I don't know what you mean, but this is the wrong word] idea that pursuing money is the right thing to do, but I cannot totally agree with the idea when I listen to the news of suffering people because of rising food prices and speculation. I am not a communist, and I also value the importance of money since I lived in the era of communism. However, I believe money is not the most important thing, but just a method to pay our daily bills and help our dreams come true, not the dream itself. Flour and butter prices have risen, bad news for someone with a sweet tooth like me.

Re: Money to live, or live to money?

Anonymous — Tue, 06 May 2008 08:17:59 GMT

Thank you Micawber! I appreciate your work on pointed out my mistakes.I tried correcting them by myself as below, though, still could not correct all the mistakes;I have got to study grammar.
I would appreciate if you could let me know the mistakes I am sure I made somewhere in the essay below.I felt the time has really changed when I watched a TV program about the salary of various occupations. Today, people care a lot about money because food and gas prices have risen up but salaries has stayed the same or has lowered. Even for a childrenâs show that introduces various job mention the average salary of todayâs job at the end of the program, which was considered rude and improper when I was a child. Collapse of communism brought us sort of sectional idea â pursuing money is the right thing to doâ, I can not totally agree with the idea when listen to the news of suffering people because of the risen food prices and the speculation made the price crazy. . I am not a communist, and also value the importance of money since I am living in the era of communism. However, I believe money is not the most important, but just a method to pay our daily bills and help for our dream to come true, not the dream itself. Flour and butter prices has risen up, bad news for a sweet teeth like me.

Re: Money to live, or live to money?

Mister Micawber — Mon, 05 May 2008 23:03:19 GMT

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I have underlined some problem areas:

I appreciate if you could let me know the mistakes I am sure I made somewhere in the essay below.I felt the time really changed when I watch a TV program about the salary of various occupations. Today, peoples care a lot about money because food/gas prices are risen up but salaries are stay the same or lowered.Even for the childrenâs show that introduces various jobs mentioning the average salary of todayâs occupation at the end of the program, which had been considered rude and improper when I was a child. Collapse of the communism brought us kind of an idea âpursuing money is justiceâ, I can not totally agree with the idea when listing the news of suffering people because of the risen food price and the speculation made the price crazy. . I am not a communist, and also value the importance of the money since I am living this era.However, I believe money is not the most important, but just a method to pay our daily bills and helps our dream come true, not the dream itself.Flour and butter prices are risen up, bad news for the sweet teeth like me.

Good ideas, but you need to work on verb tenses especially.

Money to live, or live to money?

Anonymous — Mon, 05 May 2008 01:19:10 GMT

I appreciate if you could let me know the mistakes I am sure I made somewhere in the essay below.I felt the time really changed when I watch a TV program about the salary of various occupations. Today, peoples care a lot about money because food/gas prices are risen up but salaries are stay the same or lowered.Even for the childrenâs show that introduces various jobs mentioning the average salary of todayâs occupation at the end of the program, which had been considered rude and improper when I was a child. Collapse of the communism brought us kind of an idea âpursuing money is justiceâ, I can not totally agree with the idea when listing the news of suffering people because of the risen food price and the speculation made the price crazy. . I am not a communist, and also value the importance of the money since I am living this era.However, I believe money is not the most important, but just a method to pay our daily bills and helps our dream come true, not the dream itself.Flour and butter prices are risen up, bad news for the sweet teeth like me.