http://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htmPost your essay, short story or composition here. Review, comment, or just read for fun.enXMOD (Build: 3615.39139)http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/2/kjgg/Post.htm#53959Wed, 25 Mar 2009 11:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:53959anon10http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/2/kjgg/Post.htm#53959http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-53959.xmlh88, Nope, doesn't do it for me either. 500 words is one page. You need to tell them up front what you eventually want to study. Then you need to tell them some things about yourself. Did you do well in math and science? Do you participate in extracurricular activities? Did you do well in school overall? Then you need to tell them why you want to study electrical engineering. And at their university. Then you need to summarize everything. DO NOT * get cute with "I want to be a firetruck when I grow up" * use weird quotes that most people can't relate to * use conversational tone..."I want, quite to the contrary, to be blah blah" Instead, have a laser like focus on trying to accomplish the steps above....http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/2/kjgg/Post.htm#53888Sun, 25 Jan 2009 11:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:53888h881http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/2/kjgg/Post.htm#53888http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-53888.xmlAlright, I worked on the essay for quite a while, my first attempt was the following: ------------------------------------------ I want to be an exponential function! The best competition is to compete with yourself such that you are better today than you were yesterday, and not as good as what you’re going to be tomorrow. This can be resembled by the exponential function; f(x) = xx. As a matter of fact, I want to be an exponential function! The idea behind this function is that as x increases, f(x) significantly increases and therefore the curve goes notably to the top. In real life, however, I try to improve myself on daily basis as much as I can. My quest and determination to study was advanced further more with this...http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/2/kjgg/Post.htm#52189Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:52189h882http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/2/kjgg/Post.htm#52189http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-52189.xmlMountainHiker, Thanks for all your help.. This is getting as complicated as a tax form.. thanls again..http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#52025Sun, 25 Jan 2009 11:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:52025anon13http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#52025http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-52025.xmlh88, This essay isn't doing it for me either. I once helped a person with a pen name of Soufiane. Try searching for his letter/essay on this board. Actually, I will give you the link. Please Post:45916 . I gave him wwwaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much help. I ended up writing his essay for him. It is a long thread, but work your way through it. You can see that he too began with the fairy tale type story. I still think his letter was long. But I was getting tired of the constant iterations. Sometimes free help is only worth what you paid for it. In any event, see what you can learn from his trials and tribulations. Again, I suspect your essay/letter must be written by YOU. So I can't and won't write it for you. MountainHikerhttp://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#52020Sun, 25 Jan 2009 11:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:52020h884http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#52020http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-52020.xmlI quite agree, thanks for the head start. I saw Nadine's letter, took some ideas, and wrote the following: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Once you find a job you love, you’ll never work again.” That is literally speaking, of course. For instance, during the last couple of years, where I used to analyze, interpret and program extensively, I loved this job and never felt like I’m working. That is to say, I knew how to interpret vague instructions and convert them into the notion of a programming language. I consider the most important language I’ve ever learned is PHP (Hypertext processor), along with the preferred accompanied DB system, mySQL. I used, mainly, the method...http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#52007Sat, 25 Apr 2009 10:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:52007anon15http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#52007http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-52007.xmlh88, Your essay and Nadine's letter are serving exactly the same purpose. The only difference is that her letter has the following: Her address Date School's name and address Dear Sir: Regards, person Aside from some "letter" stuff, it is exactly the same. So her letter is completely relevant to what you are trying to accomplish. Your essay is too much like "Once upon a time I was a child. Then through friends and family I learned some stuff." You need to be focused. I have already provided you with two strong hints: earlier in this thread I gave a rough outline, and have directed you to Nadine's letter. With those two, you should have some strong ideas as to how to write your letter. I suspect that...http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#52003Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:52003h886http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#52003http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-52003.xmlHey MountainHiker! I am not writing a letter, but merely an essay. (an important component in the admission process.) I saw Nadine's letter, but her/his letter was a covering letter, which is irrelevant to my admission procedure (or at least irrelevant to my School's admission procedure.) Again, what's wrong with essay? I cannot apply to the school of engineering directly, as all freshmans have a common year before specializing into their majors (in their second year). So, trying to convince the reader about how important is to be admitted into the school of engineering is no use, since I need to get admiited into the university first. Any ideas are welcome! Thanks again. PS. I cannot choose topics for my essay.http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#51997Sun, 25 Jan 2009 11:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:51997anon17http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#51997http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-51997.xmlh88, You need to reread my prior message and look at Nadine's letter here in the forum. I still don't know why you are writing this letter. That defeats the whole purpose, no? You need to start fresh. Provide a comprehensive outline and then begin writing the first couple of parapraghs. MountainHikerhttp://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#51959Wed, 25 Mar 2009 11:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:51959h888http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#51959http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-51959.xmlHere is my college essay remake. The limit is 500 words and I already exceeded that with another 23 words. Please comment and proofread. Also, please check the grammatical structure of the sentences. Thanks!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Essay Topic: An application to a university is much more than a set of test scores, grades and activities. It's often a reflection of an applicant's dreams and aspirations, dreams shaped by the worlds we inhabit. We'd like to know a bit more about your world. Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? ...http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#51847Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:51847h889http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#51847http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-51847.xmlhttp://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#51844Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:51844anon110http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htm#51844http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-51844.xmlh88, People often write "Once upon a time..." stories for college entrance. You are no different. What the colleges are looking for is how you have aligned your education and experiences with your college dreams. From your essay, I am guessing you want to go to into computer programming? If that is true, then you need to state those things which support computer programming. For example: > You are good at writing and languages, which has many parallels in programming > You are good in math and sciences...again, applicable to computer programming > You are good at interpreting vague instructions...again, good in computer programming > You are a mature and determined individual....good for everything in life > etc. ...http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htmMon, 25 May 2009 10:45:18 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:51839h8811http://www.englishforums.com/English/CollegeEssayProofread/kjgg/post.htmhttp://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-51839.xmlHey all! So, it the college admission essays season.. And I've been working on this essay for the last couple of days.. I'd be grateful if anyone post suggestions as well as edit it if that's possible too. Thanks! ---------------------------------------------------- The world I come from has many features for it to be described; most importantly, my family, school, the community, and the club are what make up my world. These are what contributed to my own self. Without them, I would have been another fellow with lesser dreams and aspirations. To begin with, what makes up my world, most importantly, is my family. They are the beings that helped me overwhelm all the difficulties in my life, also the ones who made me more of...