ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: please delete, i can't find an edit button

julielai — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:19:18 GMT

You need to fix the parts in red. Overall, I like this piece. A bit repetitive in bits though (e.g. lighting).

Elledanceworks Dance Company presented "ELLEven", as directed by Ronelle Eddings and Michele Hanlon, on Saturday, June 21st, 2008, 8PM at the Bath House Cultural Center in Dallas, TX. The dance concert presented ~~is presented as part of the 11 years of presenting~~ dynamic, physical and engaging modern dance, and the concert featured some eleven pieces of modern dance. All eleven dances were choreographed by Elledanceworks Company, four ~~of those works were~~ by the director Ronelle Eddings and three by Michele Hanlon. ~~"ELLEven" started right after the stage lights dimmed.~~

    The initial piece, ~~was~~ titled "Jade", comprised of four women, choreographed by Ronelle Eddings, and performed by Tiffanee Arnold, Emily Boyd, Amy Dillard, and Tracy Kennedy. The performance opened with ~~a motionless in~~ different postures, with dancers gradually split apart, resulted in flowing, and continuous movement. The movements were sometimes high in intensity and sometimes quiet and thoughtful. The music also played an important role as to how the dancers performed. While watching the piece, ~~I was thinking to myself it is best if it could stay like this forever because~~ I felt very relaxed, peaceful, and carefree and I know once the concert is over, I have to face the reality of hard work and deal with the difficulties in life. (save it for your ending)

    The next program was "Two Mothers" which comprised of two sections and is dedicated to ~~adoptive~~ families ~~and birth families~~. The first section was choreography by Ronelle Eddings and performed by Tiffanee Arnold and Melissa Thompson. The second section was choreography and performed by Eddings and Hanlon. It opened with two dancers standing apart from each other. When the music played, they slowly moved toward each other and right when they heard the slit drum they separated. The work ended with two dancers hugging each other. This piece reminded me of how my aunt ~~has~~ helped my sister and I come to America four years ago. She not only helped us come to American for a better life but she also provided us with a place to stay and all the necessities ~~that we have now~~. To me, she is not merely my aunt; ~~but~~ I considered her as a lovely mother.

    All of the eleven pieces were excellent but I think the one that stands out the most was "Two Mothers" because in order to make such a dance effective, the dancers needed to be perfectly synchronized with each other and coordinated well with the music-- and ~~which~~ they were. The dancers wore a white, sleeveless shirt, black capri pants~~, with hair tied back~~. The lighting was in three different colors which ~~I think~~ coordinated well with the dance. The music matched with the theme and the dance style and the volume was perfect. Overall, I was very pleased with the dancers' performance ~~and collaborating~~ artists.
    Elledanceworks Dance Company has put tremendous time and effort into this. The lighting was excellent for all the dances -- it guided the audience's eyes and never took over the space. Though the lighting was excellent, I thought some transitions that relied on lighting did not go that well. The costumes fitted the dancers perfectly and did not get on their way when performing. The stage did not need any dÃ©cor because it was not necessary for that type of dance. ~~All the dances seemed well performed especially the "Two Mother".~~

    This was actually the first dance recital I ever went to and I liked them all. If I have a chance, I would definitely attend to one of these again and would bring a friend along. For this type of dance, I think teenagers or adults from 16 year old or above or people who enjoy dances are appropriate ~~for the concert~~. I do not think younger people could feel or understand the expression that the dancers tried to deliver. The concert kept me busy ~~and entertains so I did not feel bored at all~~. ~~The time were well utilized throughout the concert, it~~ and was not too short or too long.

    For the most part the dances were entertaining and well performed. The concert was visually stunning with talented dancers and artists. What struck me ~~about the work in this concert~~ was the agility of the dancers, aesthetics, and synchronization in order to cultivate an art form. ~~The music made it an effort to keep the audience like myself engaged in the piece. The lighting was excellent, it reveals what needs to be seen, and hides what needs to be invisible~~. The concert ended with a big applause and the audience walked with a smile on their faces.

A bit repetitive in bits, but overall I like it.

Re: Please help me proofread and correct my essay.

mountain — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 17:03:03 GMT

Sorry for being impatient but please proof read one paragraph if you could and maybe someone else could help me with the next. Thanks

please delete, i can't find an edit button

mountain — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 08:55:52 GMT

Hello teachers and helpers, I would appreciate if someone could proofread my essay because I think I have problem in shifting tense. I may so use the wrong tense for some of the sentences that I'm not aware. Please help me if you have time. Thank you

Elledanceworks Dance Company presented "ELLEven", as directed by Ronelle Eddings and Michele Hanlon on Saturday, June 21st, 2008, 8PM at the Bath House Cultural Center in Dallas, TX. The dance concert is presented as part of the 11 years of presenting dynamic, physical and engaging modern dance. The concert featured some eleven pieces of modern dance. All eleven dances were choreographed by Elledanceworks Company. Four of those works were by the director Ronelle Eddings and three by Michele Hanlon. "ELLEven" started right after the stage lights dimmed.

    The initial piece was titled "Jade" comprised of four women, choreographed by Ronelle Eddings, and performed by Tiffanee Arnold, Emily Boyd, Amy Dillard, and Tracy Kennedy. The performance opened with a motionless in different postures, gradually split apart, resulted in flowing, and continuous movement. The movements varied from sometimes high intensity and sometimes quiet and thoughtful. The music also played an important role as to how the dancers performed. While watching the piece, I was thinking to myself it is best if it could stay like this forever because I felt very relaxed, peaceful, and carefree and I know once the concert is over, I have to face the reality of hard work and deal with the difficulties in life.

    The program moved to "Two Mothers" which comprised of two sections and is dedicated to adoptive families and birth families. The first section was choreography by Ronelle Eddings and performed by Tiffanee Arnold and Melissa Thompson. The second section was choreography and performed by Eddings and Hanlon. It opened with two dancers standing apart from each other. When the music played, they slowly moved toward each other and right when they heard the slit drum they separated. The work ended with two dancers hugging each other. This piece reminded me of how my aunt has helped my sister and I come to America four years ago. She not only helped us came to American for a better life but she also provided us a place to stay and all the necessities that we have now. To me, she is not merely my aunt but I considered her as a lovely mother.

    All of the eleven pieces were excellent but I think the one that stands out most was "Two Mothers" because in order to make such a dance effective, the dancers needed to be perfectly synchronized with each other and coordinated well with the music and which they were. The dancers dressed with white, sleeveless shirt, black capri pants, and hair tied back. The lighting was dimmed with three different colors which I think coordinated well with the dance. The music matched with the theme and dance style and the volume was perfect. Overall, I was very pleased with the dancers' performance and collaborating artists.

    Elledanceworks Dance Company has put tremendous time and effort in order for the concert to end so well. The lighting was excellent for all the dances, it was very much part of the dance, guiding the audience eyes and never taking over the space. Though the lighting was excellent, I thought some transitions that relied on lighting did not serve that well. The costumes fitted the dancers perfectly and it does not get on their way when performing. The stage did not need any dÃ©cor because it was not necessary for the type of dance. All the dances seemed well performed especially the "Two Mother".

    This was actually the first dance concert I ever went to and I liked them all. If I have a chance, I would definitely attend to one of these again and would bring a friend along. For this type of dance, I think teenagers or adults from 16 year old or above or people who enjoy dances are appropriate for the concert. I do not think people at younger age could feel or understand the expression that the dancers try to deliver. The concert kept me busy and entertains so I did not feel bored at all. The time were well utilized throughout the concert, it was not too short or too long.

    For the most part the dances were entertaining and well performed. The concert was visually stunning with talented dancers and artists. What struck me about the work in this concert was the agility of the dancers, aesthetics, and synchronization in order to cultivate an art form. The music made it an effort to keep the audience like myself engaged in the piece. The lighting was excellent, it reveals what needs to be seen, and hides what needs to be invisible. The concert ended with a big applause and the audience walked with a smile on their faces.