ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: I am trying to translate short story from my Native laguage into English. Can you help me to check the Grammar&Puncutation. I have given thre paragraph. Thanks for your help.

Canada_1966 — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:59:06 GMT

Can you pl have a look my post with modified paragraphs? Thanks for your time-Canada_1966

Re: I am trying to translate short story from my Native laguage into English. Can you help me to check the Grammar&Puncutation. I have given thre paragraph. Thanks for your help.

Canada_1966 — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 18:27:05 GMT

{I tried to level my best to modify the first two paragraph and posted here, also I have given few more paragraphs in the story. If you are interested I am ready to give full story. Pl rate my level of english. Thanks in advance-Canada_1966}

Foot size of letters and hoardings were made for each other for the variety of advertisements on the wall. The advertisements are: Nijam Lady tobacco - R.K.Bras - Cautions! Revolution! - Gospel meetings -Haji Musa Apparel store (Apparel ocean)-(30-Sep-1973) that was the day the atheist would be punished.

That was Maduraiâs usual day. Water pots were waiting by the street water faucet as usual in a line. The kids were playing on the sand without any fear of âTetanusâ. The passing city transport buses were dispersing the mix of nationalism and diesel-smoke. Protineless policemen with pressed half-trouser, were controling the vehicles passing here and there. The human motion in the city was like a Brownian motion. On the left side of the road, there was a small group of protesters, were creeping with chanting slogans against government-imposed price hikes. The people of barefoot, four Gopuras (Towers) of Meenakshi temple, dried Vaigai River and Bridge; these are the indenties of the city Madurai.

This is a story of a girl who came to this city today. Valliammal was waiting with her daughter Pappathi in the corridor of the Government hospitalâs O.P department. Pappathi had developed a fever first day. Valliammal took her to the Primary Health center; the doctor scared them by saying âShe should be taken to City Hospital immediatelyâ. Valliammal took the first bus in the morning.

Pappathi was laid on the stretcher. Six doctors surrounded her. She was only twelve years old. Both sides of her nose were pierced with poor stone, which was glittered in the hospital lights. Her skinny hands were sighted through the bedspread covered till her chest. Pappathi was in deep sleep because of fever, her mouth was opened.

Chief Doctor checked her head. He lifted her eyelids and saw. He pressed on her cheeks. Her skull was checked by his finger touch. The Chief doctor studied abroad and professor for post graduate studies. The persons surrounded were his medical students.

âAcute case of Menningitis. Notice theâ¦â

The coversation was unknown language to her. Longing mother looked at her daughter. The sorrounding doctors came and examined her eyes using ophthalmoscope. Her eyeballs were examined with beam of torchlight. They all took notes.

Re: I am trying to translate short story from my Native laguage into English. Can you help me to check the Grammar&Puncutation. I have given thre paragraph. Thanks for your help.

Canada_1966 — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:38:24 GMT

Thanks for you comments. As you suggested, I am going to modify the first two paragraphs. And, just to let you know that I have not used any tranlating software.

Re: I am trying to translate short story from my Native laguage into English. Can you help me to check the Grammar&Puncutation. I have given thre paragraph. Thanks for your help.

nona the brit — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:10:46 GMT

Hello Canada 1966, welcome to the forum.

I've got a feeling that you ran your own language through one of the translation softwares such as Babelfish as this reads very much like the sort of thing they come up with - translating single words without really being able to consider the overall meaning. It's very odd and almost impossible to understand what you are saying here. Your own English, in your request, is much better. Actually, I wonder if you did write the third paragraph yourself as the style is much much better and it is understandable

This is a story of a girl who came to this city today. Valliammal was waiting with her daughter Pappathi in the corridor of the Government hospitalâs O.P department. Pappathi had developed a fever the day before. Valliammal took her to the Primary Health center; the doctor scared them by saying âShe should be taken to City Hospital immediatelyâ. Valliammal took the first bus in the morning.

Why don't you try the first two paragraphs again yourself as I think you'll get a better result? They are so distorted that I can't make any suggestions.

I am trying to translate short story from my Native laguage into English. Can you help me to check the Grammar&Puncutation. I have given thre paragraph. Thanks for your help.

Canada_1966 — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 03:28:45 GMT

Foot size of signboard letters in the hoardings lived together for the diversified advertising on the wall. Nijam Lady tobacco - R.K.Bras - Cautions! Revolution! - Gospel meetings -Haji Musa Apparel store (Apparel ocean). (30-Sep-1973) That was the day of carrying fire-pot for those who did not believe in god.

That was Maduraiâs usual day. Water pots were meditating by the street water pipes as usual for human beings in a line. The kids were playing on the sand without any fear of âTetanusâ. The passing city transport buses were dispersing the mixture of nationalistâs diesel-smoke. Protineless policemen with pressed half-trouser, were controling the vehicles passing here and there. The human motion in the city was like a Brownian motion. On the left side of the road, there was a small group of protesters, were creeping with chanting slogans against government-imposed price hikes. The people of barefoot, four Gopuras (Towers) of Meenakshi temple, dried Vaigai River, Bridge - Madurai!

This is a story of a girl who came to this city today. Valliammal was waiting with her daughter Pappathi in the corridor of the Government hospitalâs O.P department. Pappathi had a fever first day. Valliammal took her to Primary Health center; the doctor scared them and said âShe should be taken to City Hospital immediatelyâ. Valliammal took the first bus in the morning.