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<rss version="2.0" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"><channel><title>ESL Essay, Writing World</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/EslEssayWritingWorld/Forum9.htm</link><description>Post your essay, short story or composition here. Review, comment or just read for fun.</description><dc:language>en</dc:language><generator>CSMOD (Build: 3260.39585)</generator><item><title>Re: This is my first writing. Please help check my writing.</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/FirstWritingCheckWriting/ghzmw/post.htm#537174</link><pubDate>Sat, 05 Jul 2008 23:12:04 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:537174</guid><dc:creator>Skrej</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/FirstWritingCheckWriting/ghzmw/post.htm#537174</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-537174.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>Hi Neung,&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I&amp;#39;ve made some corrections to your essay.&amp;nbsp; Any corrections I made are now in red letters.&amp;nbsp; If you have any questions about what I mean, or would like a more detailed explanation on why something was incorrect, please ask.&amp;nbsp; We&amp;#39;ll try to answer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;BLOCKQUOTE&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;img src="/Themes/englishforums/images/icon-quote.gif"&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Anonymous&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My name is Jeerapun Khunsopa and &lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;y &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(don&amp;#39;t capitalize &amp;#39;my&amp;#39;) &lt;/span&gt;nickname is Nueng. I &amp;#39;m 22 years old. I was born in Suphan Buri province and &lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;move&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt; &lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(should be &amp;#39;moved&amp;#39;, since it&amp;#39;s in the past)&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt; to &lt;span style="color:#111111;"&gt;Bangkok&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;,&lt;/span&gt; &lt;strike&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;this&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;is&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strike&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#111111;"&gt;&lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(remove the words &amp;#39;this is&amp;#39;, and add a comma after Bangkok)&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;strike&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strike&gt;&lt;span style="color:#111111;"&gt; a big city&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;,&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(add another comma)&lt;/span&gt; with my family when I was nine years old. I graduated from Bangkapi school of fishing. My favorite websites are Google, Yahoo! &lt;em&gt;&lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;&amp;lt;... some URLs removed by a mod.&amp;gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/em&gt; I enjoy visiting tourists attractions and traveling. I also enjoy reading, going to movies and watching TV. I&amp;#39;m very interested in politics. I am following the presidential race in my county. I&amp;#39;m also interested in the global warming crisis and alternative sources of energy, such as solar and wind power. My dream job would be to run a successful Internet company that helped people. I have visited Cambodia,Can&lt;strike&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;n&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strike&gt;ada, &lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(correct spelling is &amp;#39;Canada&amp;#39;, with only 1 &amp;#39;n&amp;#39;)&lt;/span&gt;&amp;nbsp; Hong &lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;k&lt;/span&gt;ong, &lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(capitalize &amp;#39;k&amp;#39; in &amp;#39;Kong&amp;#39;) &lt;/span&gt;Laos and Mexico. I went to Chiang Mai on my last vacation. It was great! &lt;strike&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;and&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strike&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt; &lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(remove the word &amp;#39;and&amp;#39; to avoid a sentence fragment)&lt;/span&gt; &lt;/span&gt;I do not have any pets, but I wish that I had a dog. My house does not allow pets. I have two brothers and one sister. If I won a million Baht, I would travel around the world. I would really like to visit Japan. My &lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;hight&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(correct spelling is &amp;#39;h&lt;strong&gt;e&lt;/strong&gt;ight)&lt;/span&gt; is 173 and My weight is 64. My blood type is B and &lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;y &lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(don&amp;#39;t capitalize &amp;#39;my&amp;#39;) &lt;/span&gt;hobbies &lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;is &lt;/span&gt;(&amp;#39;hobbies&amp;#39; is plural, you need the plural verb &amp;#39;are&amp;#39; instead) &lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;L&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;isten&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(this should be &amp;#39;listening&amp;#39; instead of &amp;#39;listen, and don&amp;#39;t capitalize it)&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt; to the radio&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;,&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt; &lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;and&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;em&gt; &lt;/em&gt;&lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;(since there are only 2 hobbies, remove the comma and add the word &amp;#39;and&amp;#39;)&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style="color:#ff0000;"&gt;read&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt; (this should be &amp;#39;reading&amp;#39; instead of &amp;#39;read&amp;#39;)&lt;/span&gt; catoon. My address is Bangkapi&lt;div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/BLOCKQUOTE&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Neung, I think this was very good work for your first writting attempt.&amp;nbsp; You did have a few very minor mistakes, but you still did quite well.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;One more thing to remember, is that when you&amp;#39;re typing things on the Internet, always put 2 spaces after a sentence, instead of one, to make them easier to read.&amp;nbsp; This is a very minor thing, but it does make all writing a little easier to read, (even if it&amp;#39;s written correctly!)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div style="clear:both;"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description></item><item><title>This is my first writing. Please help check my writing.</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/FirstWritingCheckWriting/ghvnk/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sat, 05 Jul 2008 07:16:32 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:536904</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>1</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/FirstWritingCheckWriting/ghvnk/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-536904.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>I am a fouth year student.I am now learning english writing. This is&amp;nbsp;my first assignment. I would like to know how much&amp;nbsp;am wrong. Please help me check it.&amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt;My name is Jeerapun Khunsopa and My nickname is Nueng. I &amp;#39;m 22 years old. I was born in Suphan Buri province and move to Bangkok this is a big city with my family when I was nine years old. I graduated from Bangkapi school of fishing. My favorite websites are Google, Yahoo! &lt;em&gt;&lt;span style="color:#0000ff;"&gt;&amp;lt;... some URLs removed by a mod.&amp;gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/em&gt; I enjoy visiting tourists attractions and traveling. I also enjoy reading, going to movies and watching TV. I&amp;#39;m very interested in politics. I am following the presidential race in my county. I&amp;#39;m also interested in the global warming crisis and alternative sources of energy, such as solar and wind power. My dream job would be to run a successful Internet company that helped people. I have visited Cambodia,Cannada, Hong kong, Laos and Mexico. I went to Chiang Mai on my last vacation. It was great! and I do not have any pets, but I wish that I had a dog. My house does not allow pets. I have two brothers and one sister. If I won a million Baht, I would travel around the world. I would really like to visit Japan. My hight is 173 and My weight is 64. My blood type is B and My hobbies is Listen to the radio, read catoon.My address is Bangkapi&lt;div style="clear:both;"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description></item></channel></rss>