ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: Please Check my little essay, only one paragraph

Anonymous — Mon, 07 May 2007 05:54:40 GMT

Learning english

For many years comunication it the way to express ideas ,feeling with another person,by talking or writing.Learning english to been one of the challenges for many person arriving from other countries.The first reason by which all the foreigners should speak englishis to find a better work and be able to make more money.tHE SECOND REASON IS IF YOU FEEL SURE OF WHAT YOU MEAN and your self esteem improves.The third reason is you be able to speak in the same languaje, and understand ideas. Finally to learn english help you to express positively and give you the opportunity to have a better future for our family.

Re: Please Check my little essay, only one paragraph

Anonymous — Sat, 28 Jan 2006 18:40:05 GMT

<BLOCKQUOTE><table width="85%"><tr><td class="txt4"><img src="/Themes/default/images/icon-quote.gif"> <strong>Delange wrote:</strong></td></tr><tr><td class="quoteTable"><table width="100%"><tr><td width="100%" valign="top" class="txt4">Hi everybody, I had to make an essay about a new fiction product, alcoholpills, here is a part of the essay where I'm not very sure about:
<br />
<br />"Do you recognize it? Youâre too drunk to talk to anybody cause alcohol has paralysed your brain, in an instant, your girlfriend appears on the scene, what do you do? In such a case, most of the time, your girlfriend becomes angry again, so you have to sleep on the couch next too the dog for the rest of the week. A menâs greatest wish is too get immediately rid of this painful situation, but yeah, as you know, this is pretty utopistic, I mean, it WAS pretty utopistic, cause now all problems are getting solved, by only one product, our newest innovation, namely SOBER-IN-NO-TIME. Our product is now for sale in 75 countries and we have recently gained the âinnovation-awardâ from the BBC, the award for the best new product on the market."
<br />
<br />Maybe someone can get a look at it? Would be really great!
<br />
<br />Greetz Steven</td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Re: Please Check my little essay, only one paragraph

delange — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 21:00:45 GMT

Ok, thanks for your advice

Re: Please Check my little essay, only one paragraph

anon1 — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 19:00:38 GMT

Hi delange,

Your little essay needs a fair amount of work.

Do you recognize it? Youâre too drunk to talk to anybody cause alcohol has paralysed your brain, in an instant. our girlfriend appears on the scene. hat do you do? [In such a case, most of the time, your girlfriend becomes angry again, so you have to sleep on the couch next too the dog for the rest of the week...doesn't answer the question, what do you do?] A mnâs greatest wish is too get immediately rid of this painful situation, but yeah[?], as you know, this is pretty utopistic [utopian], I mean[?], it WAS pretty utopistic[utopian], [be]cause now all problems are getting solved, by only one product, our newest innovation, namely SOBER-IN-NO-TIME. Our product is now for sale in 75 countries and we have recently gained the âinnovation-awardâ from the BBC, the award for the best new product on the market.

You need to clean it up. Get rid of all "I mean" "but yeah" etc. It sounds rather immaturish. So if this a make believe essay, you need to kick it up a few notches.

MountainHiker

Please Check my little essay, only one paragraph

delange — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 17:36:29 GMT

Hi everybody, I had to make an essay about a new fiction product, alcoholpills, here is a part of the essay where I'm not very sure about:

"Do you recognize it? Youâre too drunk to talk to anybody cause alcohol has paralysed your brain, in an instant, your girlfriend appears on the scene, what do you do? In such a case, most of the time, your girlfriend becomes angry again, so you have to sleep on the couch next too the dog for the rest of the week. A menâs greatest wish is too get immediately rid of this painful situation, but yeah, as you know, this is pretty utopistic, I mean, it WAS pretty utopistic, cause now all problems are getting solved, by only one product, our newest innovation, namely SOBER-IN-NO-TIME. Our product is now for sale in 75 countries and we have recently gained the âinnovation-awardâ from the BBC, the award for the best new product on the market."

Maybe someone can get a look at it? Would be really great!

Greetz Steven