Search results for 'tag:American English tag:Jokes' matching tags 'American English' and 'Jokes'

Re: Fun Learning Jokes :)

Lakshwadeep — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 05:23:12 GMT

You, mctastic, truly didn't understand the point of the quotation that precedes the word "Handey." If you would notice, then you would have realized that "Handey" is actually the American humorist Jack Handey. Why else would someone put the word "handy" in parentheses after a quotation? Perhaps you did not realize that you are the one who misspelled: you wrote "should" as "shoukd" and also wrote "seen" instead of "seeing."

Also, for my whole life I've never heard an American English speaker use "nut" as an predicate adjective. Remember that this forum is for people who are learning English as a second language. It is unproductive to blindly criticize a word when you don't even realize it is a person's name. Please be more aware of your own mistakes before you decide to judge those of others (of which Kooyeen had none). Finally to quote from you, with better spelling, "I just thought I should let you know as you were correcting the person above you when you needed correcting yourself!"

Re: About the tenses 12

Yankee — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 15:10:48 GMT

Vincent Teo wrote:
(a) Most people have their own close friend or friends that can share their joy, sadness, success and even secrets. I also have a very close friend. In fact, she is my best friend.

(b) Her name is Susan. She is eleven years ago and she studies in Tzu School. We attended ~~tuition~~ classes at the same ~~tuition centre~~ school in Taman Ria.

(c) She has big beautiful eyes with short darkish hair, which she ties up neatly with a hair-pin. She is of average height ~~with~~ and has a soft and fair complexion.

(d) ~~The~~ Susan's most noticeable trait ~~of Susan~~ is her ~~charming~~ sweet charming smile, which she flashes every now and then especially if someone praises or teases her. ,(Someone's "most noticeable trait" would probably be visible more often than "every now and then".)

(e) Her hobby is reading story books. She told me that she has a whole cupboard ~~of collection~~ full of story books.

(f) She and I met and got to know each other about three years ago at ~~a tuition centre~~ school. Sometimes, we ~~could~~ chat for hours until our mothers start to get angry and scold us.

(g) At ~~the tuition centre~~ school, we would chat non-stop before and after the ~~tuition~~ lessons/classes while waiting for our mothers to come and fetch us. We are always happy and joyful whenever we are together.

(h) We share stories, jokes, secrets and even discuss our homework together. I sincerely hope that our relationship will last forever as I feel very comfortable and happy in her presence.

Hi VT

In American English, the word 'tuition' means 'money (which is/must be paid for academic instruction)'. An American would not understand the word 'tuition' as you have tried to use it.

Re: fry or fries (American English)

khoff — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 00:52:57 GMT

Maybe I should have been more clear in my original attempt to answer this -- I wouldn't be too surprised either to hear someone say "a large fry," but I wouldn't say it that way myself. (And I might make a joke about it.)

Re: correct or not ?? Help me pls!

Anonymous — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 04:12:09 GMT

<P>2 You warm my heart with your smiling face. (even a maddy one. - this makes no sense. Do you mean an angry/mad face. ).</P>
I want to explain...even you angry, upset or happy I still love you as you are, and I like to do thinking of you ... so warm

<P>4 Smiling awhile open a present that would make you smile all day long. (not sure what you are trying to say here Opening a present makes you smile all day?).</P>
I want to write it funny joke....thinking, when you get a present and you are happy

....I try to explain you .. I hope you will understand

<BLOCKQUOTE><table width="85%"><tr><td class="txt4"><img src="/Themes/default/images/icon-quote.gif"> <strong>Nona The Brit wrote:</strong></td></tr><tr><td class="quoteTable"><table width="100%"><tr><td width="100%" valign="top" class="txt4">Are you in Australia OP? Might be best not to use mad there. In American English it means angry but in British English it means insane.</td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

nano.... Did you ask me????? ... No, Iam not
Thank you guys again <img src="/emoticons/emotion-1.gif" alt="Smile [:)]" />

Could anyone please mark this composition for me?

Emib — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 00:24:08 GMT

Could anyone please mark this composition for me? It's going to be marked by an American English teacher, i don't know whether that's is usefol for you or not. It doesn't need to be a formal or polite composition, it just needs to be right ^^:

Thank you so much, people

My physics teacher

The best teacher I have ever had was a friendly and middle aged woman and her name was Blanca. She wanted to work for NASA in the US as an aerospace engineer, she liked everything connected to space, starsâ¦, but she couldnât and had to work at my high school.

Although she taught physics using a usual boring book, the lessons werenât so boring as they used to be until she became my teacher because she told a lot of jokes about what we were studying.

I got high marks on physics because she explained really well and it was not necessary to study.

Unfortunately, nowadays I have another physics teacher, I wish Blanca were back.

Composition

Anonymous — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 00:07:28 GMT

Could anyone please mark this composition for me? It doesn't have to be polite or formal, thank you so much

My physics teacher

Although she taught physics using a usual boring book, the lessons werenât so boring as they used to be until she became my teacher because she told a lot of jokes about what we were studying.

I got high marks on physics because she explained really well and it was not necessary to study.

Unfortunately, nowadays I have another physics teacher, I wish Blanca was back.

I'm not sure whether the last sentence is ok or not, beacuse of the tense. It is going to be marked by an american english teacher, I don't know if it's useful for you.

Thank you so much

Re: Who's learning Indian English?

Marvin A. — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 18:57:48 GMT

So anyone moving to America would be wise to learn American English - the native language.

Actually, in some instances learning RP would actually be better. If you can speak with a nearly perfect RP accent, you will be perceived as being a native speaker of British English, on this side of the pond. If however, you speak nearly-but-not-quite-perfect General American, you'll just sound like a foreigner with an accent, albeit not a very strong one. If, however, you can only speak with a mediocre RP accent, then yes, it is better to learn General American, because you wouldn't be mistaken for a native speaker, and you might as well try to speak as closely as possible to the people you are around.

<It also helps if you speak slowly and loudly, and pause after each word.>

How does speaking loudly help?

That is known as a joke.

The question is, why don't Standard American English speakers, want to do the same when they plan to have long-term contact with certain speakers of other standard dialects?

I think this quote from Wikipedia will describe how Indian English is perceived, even in India:
"Formal British English is preferred to layman's Indian English in educated Indian circles and higher Indian writing. Middle and upper-class Indians, especially those with greater exposure to the West through books, electronic media (such as television or movies) and travel, tend to speak more grammatically-standard English. British English is an official language of central and state governments in India. What is characterised as Indian English is not considered "correct usage" by either government-related institutions (such as offices and schools) or educated Indians who prize 'proper' English."

The question is, why don't Standard American English speakers, want to do the same when they plan to have long-term contact with certain speakers of other standard dialects?

Do you actually believe that it's perceived as being "Standard English"? On this side of the pond, it's perceived as English spoken by non-native speakers, with a non-native accent, that is quite unprestigious, and one of the most difficult accents to understand. In fact, we would more likely consider English spoken with a heavy French or German accent to sound like Standard English, than Indian-English. Besides, the upper-class and educated Indians speak something like RP. Now it is true that we all try to adapt our English to a certain extent to be able to facilitate communication with whomever we are speaking. That does not mean that we would learn Indian-English.

I can't tell if you're serious about all of this, or just doing this as sort of a thought-experiment or something. Do you speak Indian-English or something? Or are you a British English speaker? I don't really know what the attitude towards Indian English people on the other side of the pond is, but at least over here, it is not considered a proper form of English. The only Indians that would be considered native speakers of English are the ones that moved here, or to Britain (or Australia, etc.), at a young age and grew up speaking English, or whose parents were English/American/Canadian/etc. and taught them English.

Re: Who's learning Indian English?

Marvin A. — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 16:29:31 GMT

Milky wrote:
Marvin A. wrote:
I'm sure there's something like that somewhere, as a joke. That would really be a laugh, because at least here, where it isn't often that you run into an Indian, they have the reputation of being very hard to understand.

I was speaking seriously. If, as you say, Indian English speakers are difficult to understand, why don't American English speakers, who may wish or need to communicate with that group in the near future, learn Indian English?

Wow, you're funny. What next, classes on understanding Chinese-English? Then perhaps Russian-English? You can't be serious. We don't really regard Indian-English as being a proper dialect of English, merely English spoken with an Indian accent, and grammatically influenced by the persons native tongue. The better the person knows English, the easier they will be to understand.

Re: Who's learning Indian English?

milky — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 06:08:21 GMT

Marvin A. wrote:
I'm sure there's something like that somewhere, as a joke. That would really be a laugh, because at least here, where it isn't often that you run into an Indian, they have the reputation of being very hard to understand.

I was speaking seriously. If, as you say, Indian English speakers are difficult to understand, why don't American English speakers, who may wish or need to communicate with that group in the near future, learn Indian English?

Re: American Slang!!

Exclusive — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 04:06:04 GMT

Nona The Brit wrote:
No, USA natives don't learn British English and British natives don't learn American English.

Only if you are an actor or you are messing about with an accent for a joke or something - and I have to say that 95% of American attempts at British accents are appalling! I'm sure the reverse is true too. Most people can't even do authentic sounding imitations of the different accents of their own countries.

hey nona

what you saying is right.. it's really hard to learn british accent for me but i like it tho