Re: Application letter for vacation

Grammar Geek — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 00:47:39 GMT

First, capitalize the word I and other proper nouns, and then rewrite this without using abbreviations, and spell August correctly - then we can worry about grammar and syntax.

Re: Please help - application letter for secondary school

anon1 — Thu, 30 Dec 2004 18:07:39 GMT

Jessmac,

Be sure to thank Howard Cheung for providing some initial thoughts.

The one paragraph that concerns me slightly is the following:

In addition to academic achievement, we have provided opportunities for XX to better develop her other abilities and talents. She has participated in various extra-curricular activities including arts classes, music events and English drama club. Her talents are well recognized by the awards she obtained in various arts competitions and music events.

Is is "art" or "arts" competitions? I would probably use "musical" rather than "music". Search through your paragraph for music and test whether it should be the noun "music" or the adjective "musical". Having said that, I checked "music events" (with quotes) versus "musical events" (with quotes) in Google, and "music events" is far more popular. My instincts tell me to use "musical events" but popular useage seems to support "music events". So go with whichever you think is correct.

I have inherent dislike for "various". If i were marking this letter as a teacher, I would reduce your grade by various marks for various reasons and I would highlight various errors, though not all. You can see that "various" begins to tell you nothing. Instead, I would highlight a couple or few major awards and then mention that many other awards have been won as well.

MountainHiker

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Re: Application letter for vacation

Re: Please help - application letter for secondary school