Search results for 'tag:Commas tag:Paragraphs' matching tags 'Commas' and 'Paragraphs'

Re: Paragraph Suggestions

Mister Micawber — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 08:10:14 GMT

Its versatility assists me adeptly in studies.-- The computer assists, not the versatility; 'adept' is for people.

And wrought mean shaped, so why its wrong here ? -- It is the wrong tense.

connected is wrong word? -- The verb should be passive in aspect.

wavy mean twisted cables , thats not sutibale as well? -- 'Wavy' is for hair; it is a pleasant image, unlike 'twisted'.

central is lined because i used capital C? -- 'Unit' is a singular countable noun, and the sentence is a comma splice (you need a conjunction).

shelf of the table please do explain why its wrong as well. -- Tables don't normally have shelves; desks may. Also, objects would have to go on a shelf, not at it.

Re: correction

Avangi — Sun, 25 May 2008 04:06:32 GMT

The language is quite good.

I'm not sure if you mean to imply that the picture is of a one-man boat. The way the sentence flows, you expect both statements to relate to comparing the size. I've never been sailing. Does the term "skipper" specifically refer to the person who handles the tiller? We use it as a friendly term for the captain, or the person in charge. "The skipper" = "The captain." You address him casually as "Skipper." I could be wrong, but I think "crew" always refers to a group of more than one. I guess you could say, "a crew of one," like "a party of one." I believe "crewman" or "crew member" would refer to one individual. (I note you use "crew member" the second time, but the first time might be a problem.)

How about paragraphs? May we occasionally have a new paragraph? The thing about the partner and the class comes out of the blue, or "off the wall." You need to somehow introduce that you're taking a class. Otherwise we say, "What the heck is this?"

Re the "After long" sentence, you at least need a comma after "consideration." It was difficult for me to parse on my first try. It's sort of a compound introductory phrase - one prepositional, and one participial. I'm not sure if it would be better, were they of the same genre. It may be considered an error that "after long consideration" appears to refer to you, and I don't believe it really does. (After long consideration, I sailed)

There's a small time-frame problem in the next non-paragraph. You had sailed out to the calm lake. From whence? It sounds like it might have taken a while. If it's a large lake, and we commence from a dock at the edge of it, we'd say, "I sailed out into the lake." If, on the other hand, our dock is located on some kind of an inlet, we could say "I sailed out to the lake [proper]. Either way, it sounds like you covered some distance. The weather changed abruptly "shortly after that." Then you say, "I was not far from the dock, as I'd just left." It doesn't "add up."

"The calm weather, all of a sudden, turned violent." This interruption in the flow of the sentence spoils the urgency of it. Try, "The calm weather suddenly turned violent," or "Suddenly the calm weather turned violent."

Re "the two students," there's not really a clear antecedent (wrong word). I'd say, "and its two students were in the water." The expression is "treading water," but you can't say "water" twice. You need to work something else out.

Re "another boat followed," I know what you mean, but "followed" is ambiguous here (followed you around?). How about, "another boat met the same fate."? (Moby Dick: "and all save one shall follow")

"on a jet ski" set off with commas. "rode to the rescue"

To me, it was a great experience. OR It was a great experience for me.

Best wishes, - A.

Re: How to find the robber

Avangi — Tue, 13 May 2008 01:22:23 GMT

Sounds good.

Commas after "hair," first sentence, second paragraph; and after "blood" in last paragraph.

"ask the person who they think is the robber" - Sorry, my ear says "whom," but I always get messed up about whether it's really the subject of the clause. Someone else should please comment. thanks.

Re: please correct my essay

Grammar Geek — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:57:53 GMT

Hi aboslman - Anything marked with a highlight needs another look. Don't set off the "peace be upon him" with both commas and parentheses. I only highlighted it the first time. Is it necessary to do it every time? It really disrupts the flow of the writing. Must you repeat his name each time? Can you use "he" for some of them? You do not spell the cities the same way each time, thought I think it's simply that you left out the A in the final Madinah

Do you know why about a billion persons all over the globe stand toward the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia five times or more daily? The most important symbol which represents our country in my humble opinion is our religion culture. Is a religion a symbol? "In my opinion, the most important image of our country is our religious culture." The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia considers as the capital city of Islamic world, and it has a unique status unrivalled by any other country in the world because it is the location of the holiest cities in the world for many centuries which are Makkah and Madinah. The repetition of "in the world" is a bit awkward and this sentence is a bit long. (And look, you use the same phrase exactly in the next paragraph.)

Makkah is the place which captures the hearts of a billion Moslems all over the globe. It is the place where God's will was revealed to Mohammed, (peace be upon him), and it is now the location of the Holy Mosque and the scared Ka'ba. Furthermore, it is also the holiest spot on the earth and the destination of millions of pilgrims and visitors. Allah has honored it in several verses in his Holy Quran in which it is given several names including: Makkah, Bakkah and Um-Alqura. Moreover, he has sworn on its name, thus giving a unique status unrivalled by any other city in the world. -- start a new pargraph here -- Madinah (officially al Madinah alMunawwarah) is the second holiest city in Islam and the location of Mohammed's, (peace be upon him) mosque. In addition, it is the location of the burial place of Mohammed, (peace be upon him) and his friends. It was also the place where Mohammed, (peace be upon him) and his followers left after attacks against them in Makkah, now known as the Hijrah. Moreover, it is the place where Islam has been spread. This doesn't make sense. Islam has spread all over the world. Eventually, all people even non-Muslims know what Makkah and Mdinah mean for Muslims and they respect Muslims feelings toward the holy Makkah and Madinah which carry on since hundreds of years.

Re: be it ...

manomi — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:39:06 GMT

It seems quite normatl that a sentence extracted from a long paragraph is difficult to understand. Sorry for this confusion.

There should be no comma after "people who are able" because the object of the verbe "require" is "people".

For your clarification, in the sentence, the word "they" before "increasingly" refers to "universities" and the "people" university staff.

Is it clear now?

Re: My short essay [need a basic check]

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:14:36 GMT

Heavy traffic is one of the biggest problems in our days. There were endless arguments made about solutions so far, but none of them has brought results. While few people suggest banning traffic from towns and city centers, others are against this idea.

In my opinion, banning private transport such as cars and motorcycles from the city centers is in theory, [this was added because you make it sound as if banning traffic was the only good idea where in the second paragraph, you list the other side] a good idea [no comma here] because there would not be any congestions anymore. What is more, people and tourists would have safe pedestrian-only zones, so it would help to attract more tourists to visit our city monuments. [Of course, distances are quite long, so deliveries and public transport should be allowed.] This sentence contradicts the rest of your paragraph. I have made changes to the first sentence that incorperates this sentence.

On the other hand, this solution is quite inconvenient and it would take a lot of time to make it popular with people. Instead, I believe that there are some alternative solutions such as charging cars for driving into the city centers. Incoming money could be used to create more car parks [is it a lack of car parks that creates traffic or too many vehicles on the road at once?]. Also cars could be allowed only on alternate days.

To summarise, banning private transport from our citiesâ centres could cause even more inconveniece than it is worth. Thatâs why I personally think that traffic should be reduced only in particular days and during the cities fiests a small charge should be taken. In my opinion it could help to reduce the heavy traffic problem.

[Overall, very well written. I love how you alternate your beginings (of the sentences). That makes the paragraph so much more interesting to read and all the more worthwhile. Keep it up! =D]

Re: There was a bunch of kids waiting and zillions of reporters.

lochel — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 18:46:30 GMT

I believe the best correct way to write this sentence is: "There were many kids waiting (,) and innumerable reporters" or "There were many kids and innumerable reporters (,) waiting."

Depending on the context of your paragraph, the comma in the parentheses is optional. It is a good idea to be concise by using precise words.

Re: who can teach me english?i need a native speaker, you'd better be intreseted in sport!ha

Goodman — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:50:30 GMT

wxn8822,

TOEFL is too big a subject to be covered all at once. You need to cut down your TOEFL questions to manageable bites size so that we can help.
Every ESL learner wants to improve and learn as quickly as possible. But everyone has to establish a starting point. If you like, you can e-mail me, perhaps
with a short paragraph about yourself so that I can assess your English. From what I can see thus far, you need to pay attention to Capitalization,
stay away from suing "lazy English", puncutation and "space" after comma etc.

Re: I need someone check my grammar's writing

Spides — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 19:41:11 GMT

I think your paragraph is pretty good. There are a few touches that could improve it, though.

In the first sentence, I would suggest a dash instead of a comma--suggesting an added on thought to reinforce the first one. Also in that sentence "they are" should be "he or she is." This is because the antecedent of your pronoun "they" is actually "someone" ~~which is a singular pronoun. So the pronoun referring to "someone" should be singular as well. This distinction, however, is becoming less and less important~~especially in spoken or informal English.

Your second sentence is actually two sentences with a comma between them. This is called a comma splice in US usage. So there should be a period (or full stop, if you're studying British usage) after "time." Then "It is a good habit." is your second sentence. The article is needed there--"a" good habit.

An article is needed in the fourth sentence as well. "I think that I'm a responsible person..." Again, an American speaker would say "in the future," but you are probably studying with a British usage teacher, in which case "in future" would be the way it is phrased.

Finally, in your summary one would say, "...I will be more responsible the next time."

Re: help with corrections

Grammar Geek — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:13:23 GMT

You need to break your essay down into paragraphs.

Your first "sentence" is missing a verb.

You need commas here and there. For example: Even though it may be a comedy, it does have the human elements that we all go through every day of our lives.