Search results for 'tag:Conversations tag:Jokes' matching tags 'Conversations' and 'Jokes'

Re: I won't play fall guy for your stupid lines.

Osee — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:45:56 GMT

Is fall guy a bad word for someone? May I say Joey in the comedy series Friends is a fall guy? I think Joey in Friends is silly and lovely.

Delmobile wrote:
A "line" is a sort of pre-rehearsed sentence, usually used to trick or manipulate someone else.

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" is a classic pick-up line. (A pick-up line is something used to start a conversation with someone you're romantically interested in, usually in a bar or club.)

Jokes have punch lines - that's the last sentence at the end of the joke that delivers the laugh. "But now it's eating my popcorn!"

Actors must memorize their "lines" in a play.

So in your example "stupid lines" are the insincere statements, or lies really, that the speaker knows to be untrue.

Re: I won't play fall guy for your stupid lines.

Delmobile — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:06:59 GMT

A "line" is a sort of pre-rehearsed sentence, usually used to trick or manipulate someone else.

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" is a classic pick-up line. (A pick-up line is something used to start a conversation with someone you're romantically interested in, usually in a bar or club.)

Jokes have punch lines - that's the last sentence at the end of the joke that delivers the laugh. "But now it's eating my popcorn!"

Actors must memorize their "lines" in a play.

So in your example "stupid lines" are the insincere statements, or lies really, that the speaker knows to be untrue.

Re: The word "practice"

Clive — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 06:35:51 GMT

Hi,

I assume that this conversation occurs just after Bond has had sex with Solange.

She says that if Bond gives her a ride home in his car, that will make her husband jcrazy with jealousy.

Bonsd answers, in effect, that having sex with him (Bond) is a good way to practice making her husband jealous.

It's a little joke.

Clive

Re: And strong were they.

Mister Micawber — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 04:08:03 GMT

Yes, and both are rather literary or poetic-- not to be used in an argumentative essay or in casual conversation with close acquaintances unless you are smiling broadly to share the joke.

Re: About 21st century

English_Learner — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 14:54:51 GMT

Prez1dent wrote:
No no. Being a pirate is considered to have adventures, seabattles, fights, rum and gold. Yohoho! 2English_mourner Haha... You're being so dull. I don't think you always behave like that.

Dull? You know Prez1dent, actually, I'm not dull.
I just realized that this is hopeless to make jokes with you, this why I stop joking, started to talk to you seriously
But everything you can do is only to show variety of tough words in both kind of conversations, thinking that it probably looks cool.
...never mind............................

By the way, Dew, I'm surprised what you're doing here in this thread? There are so many other wonderful threads on the forums .

Re: To Timbo: your signature!

Timbo20 — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 19:18:27 GMT

even if it was just a joke, i had several of conversations such alike, and i will continue to spread my knowledge with everyone possible....and soon the whole world will know the dark, terrible secret of cheese.....hahahahahaha *meanlooking*

if you didnÂ´t figure it out, this was NOT a joke

Young man Vs Old man

Ployolp — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 16:08:53 GMT

One day a young man from the developed city came to the bank of the river in the rural village.

" Sorry , Can you take me to that small island?" He asked the old man in the very very small boat.

" Oh! that's far, boy.Why are you going there? "

" It's because that I'm a man from the city and I wish to develop that FAR-BEHIND-THE-TIME island."

As they were traveling to the island the young man started a conversation again.

" So, Are you a fisherman? "

" Err.Yes and I also have a job as to take people to the island there, there, there, and there."

" Whay do you still use that paddle instead of a new steering gear "

" What's steering gear ? " the old man asked doubtfully.

" YOU DON"T KNOW STEERING GEAR? ........OH MY GOD! You've lost 20% of the modern life.What about sky train? Have you ever travel by it? "

" Sky train? Is that the new breed of horse? "

" What?.....HAAA HA HA. You must be kidding. You don't know sky train? OH MANNN.Again you've lost 50% of modern life. "

Te deed Te dee Te dee Te dee. A young man's mobile phone shaked.

" What's that noise? " Curiously the man asked

" Just a message from my friend " the young man pick his mobile phone up to read a message from his friend.

" Message? Is this what young men in the city call massage? "

" MASSAGE ? HA HA Don't tell me you think that the shake from my mobile phone will be some kind of massage!! HaHA"

" Isn't it ? By the way Is that thing a mobile phone? "

" HahAhAHAHAAAA Are you joking? Old man,you've lost 80% of modern life!! "

As they were in the middle of the river. It started to rain.A wind blowed heavily. The Violent storm started to make the boat unsteady.

" YOUNG MAN ! ! CAN YOU SWIM? " The old man shouted through the heavy strom.

" I CAN'T. " The young man shouted back.

" HA HA BOYYY , YOU ARE LOSING 100% OF YOUR LIFE ! ! ! ! ! "

Well. Hope You guys find this joke funny.I just translate it from a Thai joke

and change a little bit because I can't remenber the whole story.I read it long time ago.

Anyway sorry if There's a mistake.

And still I wish for her happiness...

Kingofmurk — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 16:43:23 GMT

Well, this is my first try. please read this and suggest me how can i make my writings even better.

Alone I sit and remember. Remember those days when we used to be together. Me and her, hands in hands, we used to spend most of the time with each other. She used to be the reason for my existence. And I used to be the one whom she loved.

I still donât know what made us meet was a fate, a destiny or it was mare a co-incident. Whatever it was, the result was painful. It was not love on first sight. When we first met I didnât feel anything special. I never believed in love. Those stories of love for me where pain, sacrifice and the dialogues like âI canât live without youâ or âYou are the reason I am aliveâ, were attached, existed only in books or movies. I never felt they had anything to do with real life.

On the first meeting itself, we talked for hours where she told me about herself and I did too. One can say we became friends on the first meeting itself. For long we talked and many things we talked. The day passed. And after that we started meeting frequently. We talked different things; our past, our present and even future plans and aims. When we used to talk about love, our thoughts never met. On one side I was there who never believed in love and on other was she who not only believed in love but wanted me to believe in it too. When ever we had those talks I commonly used to say âFine than; you be my girlfriend and perhaps Iâll also know what love really is; or even there is such thing as sacrifice and trust in love or not.â That was the best thing to tell to end the conversation, coz after that sheâd drop the topic. On that moment her face would look so red and her expressions used to be completely changed that I used to say that frequently. I used to ask to be my girlfriend and make me believe in love again and again. Our talks in phone were long too. The clock would stick 1 or 2 at night when we cut the line. When she had exams or I was busy, we couldnât talk for few days but as soon as we were free, the same routine used to continue.

One day she suddenly asked âDid you really mean it when you asked me to be your girlfriend?? Do you ask every girl the same question?? You know, I was so silly. I took it seriously and started feeling about you. Iâve started loving you.â

I didnât know what to say. I did used to joke around but with her it was bit more. I donât know the reason why I did so. Speaking honestly I used to say it to every girl who thought there is love and wanted me to believe in it too. But no one took it seriously every before. They all used to know I was just joking . But she took it seriously. She took each and every word I said seriously right from the first talk. At that time I was speechless. I didnât know what should my reply to her be â Yes I do; or No you are the only one. Without thinking I lied to her; I took the second option.

The whole night that day I thought about her. I thought, âWas it right I did??â or even âWas I ever serious when I told her all those words?â I thought that for some days. Those days I didnât talk to her. I just kept asking myself again and again. On one hand I was longing to talk to her while in other I was not sure what was I gonna tell her if she called me again. Her words were still stuck in my mind. After thinking for long finally I got the answer. The answer was âI love her as wellâ.

Next day, the first thing I did was called her. She couldnât receive the call for she was in college. So I waited till her college was over. Each second passed like hours. Finally her classes were over and she called me back and said, âSorry. I was in class so couldnât receive your call. What is it?? Today you called so early. Is anything special??â I said, âYes. Can you meet me today?? Iâve got something to tell you.â She agreed. The place and time was fixed. I took out my favorite pair of clothes, put on my favorite perfume, went to floweriest and took a red rose for her. From there I went directly to the place where we agreed to meet. I was three hours early. I waited for her. When she arrived, I couldnât remove my eyes off her. She was looking more beautiful than ever. She was wearing the dress which I liked a lot on her. Perhaps she knew what I was going to say. When she came near me and asked why such sudden plan, I gave her the rose and told her that I love her. I told her everything and asked her to be my girlfriend not just as a joke but for real. She said yes.

After that, our talk on the phone became even longer. We started meeting more frequently than ever. I thanked her for coming to my life. If she wouldnât be there I would have missed to see how beautiful the love is. She made me realize that the Love and sacrifice do not only exist in books or movies but they are in real life too. Whenever we were free or had holidays, we used to go out. Me and her, hands in hands, we used to spend most of the time with each other. She used to be the reason for my existence. And I used to be the one whom she loved. The dialogues in movies now seemed to be true. Now I couldnât live without her. She was my love, my life, my everything.

Now when everything was going fine and well, my life took a sudden twist. As I was trying for a college in abroad, my application was accepted. I got admission. Now the time came for me to leave her and go. Before leaving, we met and talked about our love. We promised each other to write or call whenever possible. I promised to call her as soon as I reach the college and we departed. For the first time, I regretted for the situation I was in. On one hand I had her, whom I loved the most and in next I had my career, my future.

When I reached college, things didnât go as well as Iâd thought. I got problems regarding the college formalities and accommodation due to which I couldnât call her sooner. After five days there, when I got bit free, first thing I did was tried her number but it was unreachable. I tried a lot but couldnât succeed. Then I went to cybercafÃ© to write to her. When I reached there, I was extremely happy to find her mail in the inbox. But as I opened it all my happiness flew away. I was shocked by reading it. I couldnât believe that she had no trust on me. On reading the first lines sheâd wrote, I thought it was some kind of joke. The starting was, âOk fine. I got the point. You were never serious about me. All you were doing was playing with me, playing with my feelingsâ¦â But no, it was not joke. She seemed to be serious. I read the mail 3-4 times to make sure the mail meant the same what I understood and nothing else. I couldnât believe my eyes. I didnât know what to do. From there I directly went to my room and started trying her number. Late night I reached her number. When she received the phone I was totally unaware what to say. The first thing came from my mouth was âWhat the *** was the mail about??â and her reply was âThat was truth; the truth that I felt.â

Her voice was changed. Or letâs say she was changed. The reason for what she wrote was nothing but the delay of 5 days to call her. I explained her why I couldnât call or write and said sorry. She at that point seemed to have understood that but after that our relation never was the same.

Our talk on phone gradually became less. Instead we used to get online and chat. I donât know if the reason was because âThat is what I feltâ or something else but on the chat after another, her love seemed to be getting lost. After few days she suddenly said, âYou know, I thought a lot about our relation and now I think itâs not love. Itâs some attraction or something but I donât think its love.â I asked her what should it be for being love and not attraction but she didnât have answer. All she said is, âI donât know but I think we should be just friends. Good friends in fact but I donât want to get engaged in love and think only about this and destroy my future and career. This is the time to study, to build the career.â I donât know why she didnât think this before and doing it now. I told her, âIf this is the thing, I can wait for you.â But after that she was never clear. Either she was confused or she wanted to confuse me perhaps either god knows it or her.

On each chat or mail I tried to tell how much I loved her and my life would be a hell without her. And also no matter what I could wait for her. But she said âPlease donât wait for me.â I asked her why. And the reply she gave, I donât know it was funny, silly or sensible but she said, âPlease donât take me wrong but you know I want to do MBBS and even if we get married later, the relation might not work. See, being doctor sometimes Iâd need to stay late, cannot give proper time for family and I think only a doctor can understand this.â

I tried a lot to change her mind. I told her there are hundreds of couples from different profession but the love and the understanding is never less in them. After saying so sometimes she seemed to have understood and again sometimes she used to repeat the same. When ever I wanted to talk about our relation, either she gave confused thoughts, or changed the topic or stayed quiet. I did my best for the relation to work but couldnât help myself alone. One day finally I asked, âI am going to ask you for the last time and this time u canât escape it. Anything you say else than yes or no, Iâll take it as no and this time u canât stay quiet either. So tell me do you or do you not love me. Do you want to continue this relation or not??â Her answer was clear this time. No.

From that day, that instant, everything is finished. We do sometimes get online same times but the talking is very less. For saying we are friends but there is nothing like friends in us. Itâs just a forced relation.

What Iâve just written here is our love from my point of view. If she writes this same story, it might be different. She might perhaps show that I am guilty or perhaps not. And if she reads this she might ask me, âWhat the *** was that about??â and I would reply, âThat was truth; the truth that I felt.â

Whatever be, I loved her and will always do. Though my first love was broken, or letâs say she broke my first love and my heart, but I still wish her she gets a good doctor, who can understand her and love her as much as I did. And I still wish for her happinessâ¦

Re: Quick help needed, this is important (grammar).

Jacekkr — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 11:36:30 GMT

Ok I had a look at these sentences and altered a few things, so here they are again... Voila:
The text in red are those 'updated' sentences and the text in dark green are my comments.

1. We certainly cannot accuse Fred of being shy. Look how he enjoys talking about himself in front of television cameras.

2. It has just been announced that everyone of those who has obtained less than 50 percent will have to take another exam. All of those, who will not be able to come to the US in Spring may apply for taking the exam in US embassies.

2. It has just been announced that everyone of those who obtained (Past Simple or Present Perfect?) less than 50 percent will have to take another exam. All of those, who will not be able to come to the US in Spring may apply for taking the exam in US embassies.

3. Since no more than half a bottle of syrup was left, Granddad must have been taking his treatment very seriously. I bought five bottles last Monday.

4. The new sytnthetic costs three times as much as cotton. But since it's here, no teenage girl will even look at old costumes. Well, the money which they spend isn't theirs, but their parent's.

4. The new synthetic costs three times as much as cotton. But since it's here, no teenage girl will even look at old costumes. Well, the money which they spend isn't theirs, but their parent's.

OR

4. The new synthetic costs three times as much cotton does (is this correct?). But since it's here, no teenage girl will even look at old costumes. Well, the money which they spend isn't theirs, but their parent's.

5. The fact is that no female journalist from the newspaper, whom had thrown these accusations was not present at the dinner, during which the Collonel has been telling or, as he claims, he hasn't been telling those racist jokes.

5. The fact is that no female journalist from the newspaper, whom had thrown these accusations was present at the dinner, during which the Collonel has been telling or, as he claims, he hasn't been telling those racist jokes.

6. Having decided months ago in advance what will be the topics of main speeches and who will be making them after whom, the organisers were unwilling to make any changes last-minute changes.

6. Having decided months ago in advance what will be the topics of main speeches and who will be making them after whom, the organisers were unwilling to make any last-minute changes.

7. Listen to this! Doesn't this change in Simon's voice suggest, that he might have realized at that moment, that the conversation is being recorded.

@ Anyonymouns: This can't be done your way, because the situation is set at present time. It's like two blokes sitting in a room and talking about another one behind the looking glass, and now they're willing to figure out if he noticed he's being recorded or not.

8. Because of safety regulations we had to send two drivers instead of one. After a few hundred kilometers it turned out, that although they both have been driving buses for many years, none of them was used to driving in such heavy traffic.

9. I doubt wheter they have a clear idea themselves how many rehearsals there should be before the show is ready for television.

10. Before the conference I would never have thought that translating a lecture about the history of fashion can be so difficult. I am afraid that a few listeners could have had doubts about my knowledge of French.

11. Please do not expect owners not to get upset when they are told that since the beginning of the strike you haven't managed to make a list of negotiators and experts.

12. As far as buying cosmetics is concerned, Laura is sceptical about advertising. She thinks, that the least advertised products are usually much cheaper than those that can be seen on TV.

12. As far as buying cosmetics is concerned, Laura is sceptical about advertising. She thinks, that the least advertised products are usually much cheaper than those seen on TV.

I'm having a dilemma here, cause I'm not sure whether to use the expression "those that can be seen on TV" (which sounds awfully) or maybe the one in the sentence in red - "than those seen on TV".

13. From our point of view the latest proposal seems to be acceptable under the condition, that we won't have to pay for the equipment, we will not be using in the future.

14. Let's not argue about specific questions to be asked both guests until we make sure that Father John won't have anything against appearing in the same show with a strip dancer.

15. The manager decided that the best way of convincing customers that the juice is not radioactive was having every hundreth bottle checked by an independent laboratory.

15. The manager decided that the best way to convince (sounds slightly better than "of convincing", but it does not convince me... Help?) customers that the juice is not radioactive was having every hundreth bottle checked by an independent laboratory.

Oh, and although some parts of these sentences may seem incorrect I have to leave them as they are, because they were set up this way by the author of my exercise book.

Re: Quick help needed, this is important (grammar).

Ant_222 — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 01:00:39 GMT

Calling this "Quick help needed" was an advertisment trick!

Below are your sentences with a few changes. You'll find some words/phrases _marked_ but not all corrections has been marked this way.

Many sentences are wordy and sound bad. The few correctins I made don't change the whole picture. No I'm not telling I could write them better!

Use them at your own risk: my grammar is not good enough to omit this disclaimer.

1. We certainly cannot accuse Fred of being shy [of shyness]. [Just] look how he enjoy talking about himself in front of television cameras.

2. It has just been announced that everyone who _got_ less than 50 percent will have to take another exam. Those who will not be able to come to the US in Spring may apply for taking the exam in US embassies.

3. Since no more than half a bottle of [the?] syrup was left, Granddad must have been taking his treatment very seriously. I bought five bottles last Monday.

4. The new sytnthetic costs three times as much as [or: more than] cotton. But since it's here, no teenage girl will even look at _the_ old costumes. Well, the money they spend isn't theirs, but their _parents'_.

5. The fact is that no ["the" instead of "no"] female journalist from the newspaper, who had thrown (made) these accusations was not present at the dinner during which the Collonel _was_ telling or, as he claims, wasn't telling those racist jokes.

6. Having decided months ago what will be the topics of main speeches and who will be making them after whom, the organisers were unwilling to make any last-minute changes.

7. Listen to this! Doesn't this change in Simon's voice suggest he might have realized the conversation _was_ being recorded.

8. Because of safety regulations we had to send two drivers instead of one. After a few hundred kilometers it turned out that although they both _had_ been driving buses for many years, neither _had been_ used to [or: had experience of] driving in such heavy traffic.

9. I doubt they have a clear idea themselves [themselves may be redundant] _of_ how many rehearsals are needed before the show is ready for television.

10. Before the conference I would never have thought that translating a lecture about the history of fashion can (could ?) be so difficult. I am afraid some listeners had doubts about my knowledge of French.

11. Please do not expect owners _won't get_ upset when they are told that since the beginning of the strike you haven't managed to make a list of negotiators and experts.

12. As far as buying cosmetics is concerned (maybe: as to cosmetics), Laura is sceptical about _advertisment_. She thinks the least advertised products are usually much cheaper than those _often_ seen on TV.

13. From our_viewpoint_, the _last_ proposal seems acceptable _provided_ we won't have to pay for equipment that will not be used in the future.

14. Let's not argue about specific questions to be _addressed_ to both guests [not sure it's correct to say: to be asked both guests] until we make sure that Father John _doesn't object_ gainst appearing in _a_ show with a strip dancer.

15. The manager decided that the best way to convince [the?] customers of the juice being not radioactive was having ("to have" seems better to me) every hundreth bottle checked by an independent laboratory.