By Creative writing, Pronouns

Peaceblinkfriend wrote:Hi all,This is a piece of creative writing that I wrote. I would really appreciate if you could give me any suggestions or comments. I believe there could be much more to change in order to make it better besides the ones that I indicated. I wonder if you could rephrase...

Hi all,This is a piece of creative writing that I wrote. I would really appreciate if you could give me any suggestions or comments. I believe there could be much more to change in order to make it better besides the ones that I indicated. I wonder if you could rephrase it - at your convenince,...