Search results for 'tag:Essays tag:Expressions' matching tags 'Essays' and 'Expressions'

please delete, i can't find an edit button

mountain — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 08:55:52 GMT

Hello teachers and helpers, I would appreciate if someone could proofread my essay because I think I have problem in shifting tense. I may so use the wrong tense for some of the sentences that I'm not aware. Please help me if you have time. Thank you

Elledanceworks Dance Company presented "ELLEven", as directed by Ronelle Eddings and Michele Hanlon on Saturday, June 21st, 2008, 8PM at the Bath House Cultural Center in Dallas, TX. The dance concert is presented as part of the 11 years of presenting dynamic, physical and engaging modern dance. The concert featured some eleven pieces of modern dance. All eleven dances were choreographed by Elledanceworks Company. Four of those works were by the director Ronelle Eddings and three by Michele Hanlon. "ELLEven" started right after the stage lights dimmed.

    The initial piece was titled "Jade" comprised of four women, choreographed by Ronelle Eddings, and performed by Tiffanee Arnold, Emily Boyd, Amy Dillard, and Tracy Kennedy. The performance opened with a motionless in different postures, gradually split apart, resulted in flowing, and continuous movement. The movements varied from sometimes high intensity and sometimes quiet and thoughtful. The music also played an important role as to how the dancers performed. While watching the piece, I was thinking to myself it is best if it could stay like this forever because I felt very relaxed, peaceful, and carefree and I know once the concert is over, I have to face the reality of hard work and deal with the difficulties in life.

    The program moved to "Two Mothers" which comprised of two sections and is dedicated to adoptive families and birth families. The first section was choreography by Ronelle Eddings and performed by Tiffanee Arnold and Melissa Thompson. The second section was choreography and performed by Eddings and Hanlon. It opened with two dancers standing apart from each other. When the music played, they slowly moved toward each other and right when they heard the slit drum they separated. The work ended with two dancers hugging each other. This piece reminded me of how my aunt has helped my sister and I come to America four years ago. She not only helped us came to American for a better life but she also provided us a place to stay and all the necessities that we have now. To me, she is not merely my aunt but I considered her as a lovely mother.

    All of the eleven pieces were excellent but I think the one that stands out most was "Two Mothers" because in order to make such a dance effective, the dancers needed to be perfectly synchronized with each other and coordinated well with the music and which they were. The dancers dressed with white, sleeveless shirt, black capri pants, and hair tied back. The lighting was dimmed with three different colors which I think coordinated well with the dance. The music matched with the theme and dance style and the volume was perfect. Overall, I was very pleased with the dancers' performance and collaborating artists.

    Elledanceworks Dance Company has put tremendous time and effort in order for the concert to end so well. The lighting was excellent for all the dances, it was very much part of the dance, guiding the audience eyes and never taking over the space. Though the lighting was excellent, I thought some transitions that relied on lighting did not serve that well. The costumes fitted the dancers perfectly and it does not get on their way when performing. The stage did not need any dÃ©cor because it was not necessary for the type of dance. All the dances seemed well performed especially the "Two Mother".

    This was actually the first dance concert I ever went to and I liked them all. If I have a chance, I would definitely attend to one of these again and would bring a friend along. For this type of dance, I think teenagers or adults from 16 year old or above or people who enjoy dances are appropriate for the concert. I do not think people at younger age could feel or understand the expression that the dancers try to deliver. The concert kept me busy and entertains so I did not feel bored at all. The time were well utilized throughout the concert, it was not too short or too long.

    For the most part the dances were entertaining and well performed. The concert was visually stunning with talented dancers and artists. What struck me about the work in this concert was the agility of the dancers, aesthetics, and synchronization in order to cultivate an art form. The music made it an effort to keep the audience like myself engaged in the piece. The lighting was excellent, it reveals what needs to be seen, and hides what needs to be invisible. The concert ended with a big applause and the audience walked with a smile on their faces.

Please Check My Essay for TOEFL

yellow-submarine — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 13:14:03 GMT

Hello.ãI'm a Japanese man, and I am planning to study abroad. This is my first time to post my essay here.

I would be most grateful if you could point out and correct errors of grammar, expression, logic, and so on, in my essay.

I wrote this essay for TOEFL, so please take it into account. (At the last exam, I scored 18 out of 30 in the writing section.)

"Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other peoplerefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer?

Use pecific reasons and examples to support your answer."

When considering the place to eat food, some people like to eat out at restaurants,while others prefer to eat at home. I support the latter idea, for it is more economical. My answer is based on the following two points.

ãFirstly, we can cut cost for diet by preparing by ourselves. In general, dishes at restaurant are more expensive than those cooked at home. Various costs such as maintenance cost and labor cost are required to serve dishes at restaurants, and these inevitable factors make the price higher. On the other hand, when preparing food at home, we can compare supermarkets to pursue and purchase more inexpensive materials such as vegetables and meat. Moreover, we donât need to pay such maintenance cost and labor cost. Therefore, it is more economical to prepare and eat at home.

ãNext, we can limit our expenditure for seeing a doctor. If we continue to eat out, the risk of diabetes or other diseases become higher, for foods served at restaurants tends to be contained with a lot of salt and fat. We feel delicious when we eat oily food. Restaurants try to serve delicious food. Then, it is unhealthy to eat out. Therefore, if we eat at home and keep ourselves healthy, we can keep down medical care cost. Furthermore, we can choose materials by our own, which enable us to choose safer ones. Thus, by preparing and eating at home, we can keep ourselves healthy, and can cut cost for medical care.

ãIn conclusion, if we prepare and eat food at home, it is more economical because we can make a selection of more reasonable foods, and we can keep down cost for seeing a doctor. In Japan, the number of children has decreased, and the number of elderly people has increased. It will be difficult to support the cost for medical by a small working population. Then, Japanese people should try to decrease the cost.

(Urgent!!!) Please help me with this argumentative essay

Chibi — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 01:52:12 GMT

Hi there,

Please help me to check grammar, expression, word choices and also the content of this essay. I found hard to develop the ideas when dealing with this topic.

By the way, in your opinion, should a nation have the same natinonal curriculum for all their students? And why?

Thank you very much!

Topic 2: A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer.

There have been many arguments about whether or not a nation should have the national curriculum for all its students till they enter college. The advocates for the national curriculum assert that it ensures the same basic background for all students before essential skills for jobs are trained in colleges. However, it would be better if the nation only maintains the same curriculum in primary and lower-secondary schools and allows upper-secondary schools to determine their own courses on the basis of the national standards.

It is conceded that basic background (spelling, reading, simple calculating, understanding history, geography, simple physic and chemist phenomena) is important to all students. Before being able to attend a more complicated science lessons, they must know how to read, how to spell and how to identify items related to such lessons. Before being able to judge the wrong and the right, they must be taught with some simple models in life. There is little difference to direct studentsâ perception at the age of fifteen and below. Therefore, a national curriculum is necessary and suitable here.

However, from sixteen on, students should leave free to develop their passion in specific fields. Lessons in upper-secondary schools are required to provide them with as much knowledge on such fields as possible. That will prepare them for more practice on skills in college, relating the perceived background of the same fields. In that case, it is wise to let upper-schools design their own specialized programs or lessons which can meet their own studentsâ needs and wants. Moreover, each upper-school must has its strengths; thus, allowing it to determine the possible courses means giving it an opportunity to well develop itself as well as providing students with enriching environment to show off their ability and interest. Nonetheless, it is necessary that these programs or lessons are under a censor of the Education Ministry so that all the schools will not be out of the national control and meet the certain focus.

In conclusion, it is necessary to have a national curriculum for all lower-secondary students and under. Moreover, upper-schools should determine valuable courses to well prepare students for college levels according to their own strengths and national standards.

Re: Could anyone lookthrough my Illustration Essay? "The Impossible Peace"

Chibi — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:18:17 GMT

Sorry, there's a problem with the former posted entry!

There Is No "Together" In Jerusalem

For Jews and Muslims, Jerusalem has been a city of hope and loss. It has been their homeland but also their battlefield. Its history has been filled with great joy but also with tragedy. In Hebrew, the name "Jerusalem" literally means a "city of peace" Ironically, people there have not seem such thing for a long time.(people there have not seem to live in harmony for ages) There have been numbers of peace plans to settle this conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians but not even one has succeeded everything has failed to succeed); occasionally, they have even worsened the situation (U should write this clause as a separated sentence). One of the most well-known solutions is the Oslo Accord, the first official agreement signed by the leaders of both sides. It was first seen as a (the) hope to the end of the conflict (âto end the conflictâ is better) that (so that) they would live peacefully together in a bi-national state. Yet ( However â in written language, it is better not to start a sentence with Yet/ But), some groups did not accept it and launched a series of suicide bombings. This accord is now viewed to have brought more hatred and violation to the area. Nevertheless, there are still many attempts. It seems that they could live together peacefully since they are similar in many ways regarding their religions and ancestor.(try another expression Ã better) However, after carefully examined (examining) current situations and history, one (U mean who?) has to admit that they will never co-exist (word choice?) peacefully in this common area. It is due to their beliefs that Jerusalem belongs only to them and no one else. (I think the use of pronounce is not clear here. âTheyâ & âtheirâ mean who: Jews or Muslims?) Furthermore, they hate each other so much that they will never want to live together.

The first reason why two-state solution is impossible (be impossible to do sth) is because (Ã that) they believe that (omit this word) all areas of Jerusalem belong to only their people*. From the Jewish perspective, they have all the rights over this land due to God's will as well as their long close connection to it. According to the Bible, four thousands years ago, God promised that he will give Abraham, father of all the Jews, and his children the land of Canaan, or what is (omit) now the capital of the State of Israel. Since then, Jewish people have been waiting for that day to come (omit). The word "Jerusalem" is repeatedly mentioned several times in their daily prayers as well as in many special occasions, for instance, the Passover(Spiro, 2000). In addition, this area had once been under the reign of Jewish kings who had ruled for hundreds of years and built the first Jewish temple in this area. This temple has been the focus of (I guess a problem with word choice here) Jewish people around the world. They regard it as "the house of the Lord"(Bible in Spiro, 2000) and the direction (word choice, again?) in which they say their prayers to. If there is a place on earth that all Jews are willing to sacrifice their lives for, it would be this very place. A Jewish mayor once stated that this land represents, "the purist expression of all that Jews prayed for, dreamed of, cried for, and died for"(Pipes, 2001).
Conversely, from the Palestinian perspective, they are blessed people who deserve the rights over to this holy place, not the cursed Jews. In the Koran, Jerusalem is said to be blessed. It was where Prophet Muhammed was taken up to heaven and met other Prophets(Spiro, 2000). The significance of it had been emphasized several times by Prophet Muhammed himself through his teachings. He stated that it is where a single act of worship is equal to a thousand, and whoever die there or near by would directly go to heaven(Soufan, n.d.). These have made it one of the three holiest place in Islam. Furthermore, in the Koran, while Muslims are regarded to be the most prestigious group of people, Jews are the opposite, "cursed and condemned"(Abbadi, n.d.). Thus, as it is required in Muslim faith, it is their duty to protect a religious site from being contaminated by those corrupted people and bring the holy place back to the right owners.
The second reason two-state solution is impossible is because of the prolonged aversion that they will never agree to live with their enemies. In the last eight years, approximately 5,000 Palestinians have been killed with (Ã and) more than 33,000 have been injured(Palestine Red Crescent, 2008). The causes were mostly due to shootings as well as tear gas. (try another expression here) Many of the others have been forced to leave their home making approximately 4.4 millions Palestine refugees around the world now(United Nations, 2008). Owing to the loss of ones they love and the harshness of dispersing, hatred has developed. Their expression (word choice?) of hatred has been from incitement of violation to suicide bombings. Terribly, those who carried those horrors (repetition should not be occur) were of all ages including young children. In school textbooks, Israel is described to be “a country of gangs, born in crime"(Israel Ministry, 2001) with Jews who are "arrogant and sly traitors"(Israel Ministry, 2001). These are what all children in Palestinian school have been educated, or to be more accurate, "brainwashed." Not to mention the impacts from family and society in which those children have been raised. Thus, hatred has been deepening (deepened) in all Palestinian hearts both of this generation and the coming generation.
In responding to Palestinian violence, Israel has established a military force and checkpoints to limit the number of Palestinians coming to Israel. The primary objective was to prevent terrorists. However, the presence of humiliation during the search, suffering from long waits at checkpoints, and soldiers' attacks on innocent civilians, has only brought more hatred among them(The Nation, 2008, p. 9A).

It is ironic that a supposed city of peace is actually the most contentious (word choice) city on earth. Numerous peace plans have been made but then were collapsed. The hatred between Israelis and Palestinians has been strongly expressed though violation, and each has clearly stated that they are the only group whom Jerusalem belongs to. This contention has accumulated over a long period of time and it is getting worse. It is useless to force them to live together. No such plans have ever worked and will never work. At least they have given it a try, nevertheless. There is always a light in the dark, I believe. When the darkness disappears, the light would shine. Even though I have concluded that the Jews and Palestinians will never co-exist together in Jerusalem, I always wish that I have been wrong. Let the light shine and the city of peace becomes real. * If I were u, I will express like: Firstly, two-state solution fail to succeed because they believe that all areas of Jerusalem belong to only their people.

Re: Could anyone lookthrough my Illustration Essay? "The Impossible Peace"

Chibi — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:07:08 GMT

I have no ideas about the content or the organization of focused points. I just have some suggestions on word choices, expressions and grammar. The highlighted lines include possible problems and the red words are my suggestions to improve the writing.

Hope that it'll be useful!

There Is No "Together" In Jerusalem

For Jews and Muslims, Jerusalem has been a city of hope and loss. It has been their homeland but also their battlefield. Its history has been filled with great joy but also with tragedy. In Hebrew, the name "Jerusalem" literally means a "city of peace" Ironically, people there have not seem such thing for a long time.(Ã people there have not seem to live in harmony for ages) There have been numbers of peace plans to settle this conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians but not even one has succeeded (Ã everything has failed to succeed); occasionally, they have even worsened the situation (U should write this clause as a separated sentence Ã be clearer). One of the most well-known solutions is the Oslo Accord, the first official agreement signed by the leaders of both sides. It was first seen as a (Ã the) hope to the end of the conflict (âto end the conflictâ is better) that (Ã so that) they would live peacefully together in a bi-national state. Yet (Ã However â in written language, it is better not to start a sentence with Yet/ But), some groups did not accept it and launched a series of suicide bombings. This accord is now viewed to have brought more hatred and violation to the area. Nevertheless, there are still many attempts. It seems that they could live together peacefully since they are similar in many ways regarding their religions and ancestor.(try another expression Ã better) However, after carefully examined (examining) current situations and history, one (U mean who?) has to admit that they will never co-exist (word choice?) peacefully in this common area. It is due to their beliefs that Jerusalem belongs only to them and no one else. (I think the use of pronounce is not clear here. âTheyâ & âtheirâ mean who: Jews or Muslims?) Furthermore, they hate each other so much that they will never want to live together.

The first reason why two-state solution is impossible (be impossible to do sth) is because (Ã that) they believe that (omit this word) all areas of Jerusalem belong to only their people*. From the Jewish perspective, they have all the rights over this land due to God's will as well as their long close connection to it. According to the Bible, four thousands years ago, God promised that he will give Abraham, father of all the Jews, and his children the land of Canaan, or what is (omit) now the capital of the State of Israel. Since then, Jewish people have been waiting for that day to come (omit). The word "Jerusalem" is repeatedly mentioned several times in their daily prayers as well as in many special occasions, for instance, the Passover(Spiro, 2000). In addition, this area had once been under the reign of Jewish kings who had ruled for hundreds of years and built the first Jewish temple in this area. This temple has been the focus of (I guess a problem with word choice here) Jewish people around the world. They regard it as "the house of the Lord"(Bible in Spiro, 2000) and the direction (word choice, again?) in which they say their prayers to. If there is a place on earth that all Jews are willing to sacrifice their lives for, it would be this very place. A Jewish mayor once stated that this land represents, "the purist expression of all that Jews prayed for, dreamed of, cried for, and died for"(Pipes, 2001).
Conversely, from the Palestinian perspective, they are blessed people who deserve the rights over to this holy place, not the cursed Jews. In the Koran, Jerusalem is said to be blessed. It was where Prophet Muhammed was taken up to heaven and met other Prophets(Spiro, 2000). The significance of it had been emphasized several times by Prophet Muhammed himself through his teachings. He stated that it is where a single act of worship is equal to a thousand, and whoever die there or near by would directly go to heaven(Soufan, n.d.). These have made it one of the three holiest place in Islam. Furthermore, in the Koran, while Muslims are regarded to be the most prestigious group of people, Jews are the opposite, "cursed and condemned"(Abbadi, n.d.). Thus, as it is required in Muslim faith, it is their duty to protect a religious site from being contaminated by those corrupted people and bring the holy place back to the right owners.
The second reason two-state solution is impossible is because of the prolonged aversion that they will never agree to live with their enemies. In the last eight years, approximately 5,000 Palestinians have been killed with (Ã and) more than 33,000 have been injured(Palestine Red Crescent, 2008). The causes were mostly due to shootings as well as tear gas. (try another expression here) Many of the others have been forced to leave their home making approximately 4.4 millions Palestine refugees around the world now(United Nations, 2008). Owing to the loss of ones they love and the harshness of dispersing, hatred has developed. Their expression (word choice?) of hatred has been from incitement of violation to suicide bombings. Terribly, those who carried those horrors (repetition should not be occur) were of all ages including young children. In school textbooks, Israel is described to be “a country of gangs, born in crime"(Israel Ministry, 2001) with Jews who are "arrogant and sly traitors"(Israel Ministry, 2001). These are what all children in Palestinian school have been educated, or to be more accurate, "brainwashed." Not to mention the impacts from family and society in which those children have been raised. Thus, hatred has been deepening (deepened) in all Palestinian hearts both of this generation and the coming generation.
In responding to Palestinian violence, Israel has established a military force and checkpoints to limit the number of Palestinians coming to Israel. The primary objective was to prevent terrorists. However, the presence of humiliation during the search, suffering from long waits at checkpoints, and soldiers' attacks on innocent civilians, has only brought more hatred among them(The Nation, 2008, p. 9A).

It is ironic that a supposed city of peace is actually the most contentious (word choice) city on earth. Numerous peace plans have been made but then were collapsed. The hatred between Israelis and Palestinians has been strongly expressed though violation, and each has clearly stated that they are the only group whom Jerusalem belongs to. This contention has accumulated over a long period of time and it is getting worse. It is useless to force them to live together. No such plans have ever worked and will never work. At least they have given it a try, nevertheless. There is always a light in the dark, I believe. When the darkness disappears, the light would shine. Even though I have concluded that the Jews and Palestinians will never co-exist together in Jerusalem, I always wish that I have been wrong. Let the light shine and the city of peace becomes real. * If I were u, I will express like: Firstly, two-state solution fail to succeed because they believe that all areas of Jerusalem belong to only their people.

Re: Effects of Illiteracy on Society

Chibi — Fri, 30 May 2008 13:41:41 GMT

- If I were you, I would express: "The most important effect is that illiteracy works as an inhibitor to the society" instead of "The most important effect of illiteracy on society is that it works as an inhibitor."

- That is to say = In other words

I wonder if "That is to say" is less formal than "in other words". Could you please check again? I tried searching for this but haven't found the rational answer. I think your essay should be written in formal language, however, I find some of your expressions informal. For example, you placed "So" at the beginning of a sentence.

- In my opinion, the sentence "America whose illiteracy rate is below 5% and Canada (illiteracy rate: around 8%) are developed countries, whereas countries like Turkey and Iran (illiteracy rates: 61% and 43% in order) are undeveloped countries." is not clear enough to clarify your point. What you wanted to focus is that the countries whose illiteracy rates are low have more likelihood to be developed countries. Thus, try another expression here.

Hope that my ideas will contribute to improve this piece of writing

Could anyone lookthrough my Illustration Essay? "The Impossible Peace"

T_nattawat — Sun, 25 May 2008 18:21:00 GMT

There Is No "Together" In Jerusalem

For Jews and Muslims, Jerusalem has been a city of hope and loss. It has been their homeland but also their battlefield. Its history has been filled with great joy but also with tragedy. In Hebrew, the name "Jerusalem" literally means a "city of peace" Ironically, people there have not seem such thing for a long time. There have been numbers of peace plans to settle this conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians but not even one has succeeded; occasionally, they have even worsened the situation. One of the most well-known solutions is the Oslo Accord, the first official agreement signed by the leaders of both sides. It was first seen as a hope to the end of the conflict that they would live peacefully together in a bi-national state. Yet, some groups did not accept it and launched a series of suicide bombings. This accord is now viewed to have brought more hatred and violation to the area. Nevertheless, there are still many attempts. It seems that they could live together peacefully since they are similar in many ways regarding their religions and ancestor. However, after carefully examined current situations and history, one has to admit that they will never co-exist peacefully in this common area. It is due to their beliefs that Jerusalem belongs only to them and no one else. Furthermore, they hate each other so much that they will never want to live together.

The first reason two-state solution is impossible is because they believe that all areas of Jerusalem belong to only their people. From the Jewish perspective, they have all the rights over this land due to God's will as well as their long close connection to it. According to the Bible, four thousands years ago, God promised that he will give Abraham, father of all the Jews, and his children the land of Canaan or what is now the capital of the State of Israel. Since then, Jewish people have been waiting for that day to come. The word "Jerusalem" is repeatedly mentioned several times in their daily prayers as well as in many special occasions, for instance, the Passover(Spiro, 2000). In addition, this area had once been under the reign of Jewish kings who had ruled for hundreds of years and built the first Jewish temple in this area. This temple has been the focus of Jewish people around the world. They regard it as "the house of the Lord"(Bible in Spiro, 2000) and the direction in which they say their prayers to. If there is a place on earth that all Jews are willing to sacrifice their lives for, it would be this very place. A Jewish mayor once stated that this land represents, "the purist expression of all that Jews prayed for, dreamed of, cried for, and died for"(Pipes, 2001).
Conversely, from the Palestinian perspective, they are blessed people who deserve the rights over to this holy place, not the cursed Jews. In the Koran, Jerusalem is said to be blessed. It was where Prophet Muhammed was taken up to heaven and met other Prophets(Spiro, 2000). The significance of it had been emphasized several times by Prophet Muhammed himself through his teachings. He stated that it is where a single act of worship is equal to a thousand, and whoever die there or near by would directly go to heaven(Soufan, n.d.). These have made it one of the three holiest place in Islam. Furthermore, in the Koran, while Muslims are regarded to be the most prestigious group of people, Jews are the opposite, "cursed and condemned"(Abbadi, n.d.). Thus, as it is required in Muslim faith, it is their duty to protect a religious site from being contaminated by those corrupted people and bring the holy place back to the right owners.
The second reason two-state solution is impossible is because of the prolonged aversion that they will never agree to live with their enemies. In the last eight years, approximately 5,000 Palestinians have been killed with more than 33,000 have been injured(Palestine Red Crescent, 2008). The causes were mostly due to shootings as well as tear gas. Many of the others have been forced to leave their home making approximately 4.4 millions Palestine refugees around the world now(United Nations, 2008). Owing to the loss of ones they love and the harshness of dispersing, hatred has developed. Their expression of hatred has been from incitement of violation to suicide bombings. Terribly, those who carried those horrors were of all ages including young children. In school textbooks, Israel is described to be “a country of gangs, born in crime"(Israel Ministry, 2001) with Jews who are "arrogant and sly traitors"(Israel Ministry, 2001). These are what all children in Palestinian school have been educated, or to be more accurate, "brainwashed." Not to mention the impacts from family and society in which those children have been raised. Thus, hatred has been deepening in all Palestinian hearts both of this generation and the coming generation.
In responding to Palestinian violence, Israel has established a military force and checkpoints to limit the number of Palestinians coming to Israel. The primary objective was to prevent terrorists. However, the presence of humiliation during the search, suffering from long waits at checkpoints, and soldiers' attacks on innocent civilians, has only brought more hatred among them(The Nation, 2008, p. 9A).

It is ironic that a supposed city of peace is actually the most contentious city on earth. Numerous peace plans have been made but then were collapsed. The hatred between Israelis and Palestinians has been strongly expressed though violation, and each has clearly stated that they are the only group whom Jerusalem belongs to. This contention has accumulated over a long period of time and it is getting worse. It is useless to force them to live together. No such plans have ever worked and will never work. At least they have given it a try, nevertheless. There is always a light in the dark, I believe. When the darkness disappears, the light would shine. Even though I have concluded that the Jews and Palestinians will never co-exist together in Jerusalem, I always wish that I have been wrong. Let the light shine and the city of peace becomes real.

Re: before / or else

CalifJim — Sun, 25 May 2008 08:07:23 GMT

Go away before I call the police.

Go away or (else) I'll call the police.

Neither of these would be found in a passage written in formal English. At least I can't imagine an essay, news article, or scientific paper that would contain the idea of threatening to call the police -- unless it was quoted, of course.

Both expressions are in the same neutral register, however. Neither is particularly more or less formal than the other.

Re: (Urgent!) please help me to correct two essays here! Thanks!

optilang — Thu, 22 May 2008 19:37:55 GMT

Chibi
I. Cause/Effect essay

Topic: Write an essay about how the internet affects the way people communicate with each other
The Internet, in this high-tech era, has become more popular with people of all ages. It provides the whole community with the possibility of communication as well as being a great means of entertainment and global connections. This advanced technology has also contributed to the considerable change in communication among people, particularly youngsters. The fact that people prefer the use of writing via chat-windows, blogs or e-mails instead of talking face-to-face ~~talking~~ limits the use of body language. Moreover, Internet addicts are likely to convey their thoughts and react to othersâ in the same way of communication in the virtual world.Internet addiction makes ~~causes~~ the communication form of writing ~~to be~~ more popular. In common sense, communication is the way of transforming information and emotion through/by ~~with~~ (the use of) speaking or writing. (Before the Internet became popular)When the Internet was not popular~~ized~~, speaking was the preferred form of communication~~the communication form of speaking was preferable~~ since it was considered much faster than the process of writing and sending a letter. However, along with the development of information technology, people have become ~~been~~ accustomed to chat-windows, blogs or e-mails, and (have) used them as normal tools of modern communication. This newly-formed habit of exchanging information or messages leads communicators to ignore the use of physical means such as facial expression, eye contact and haptics. However,~~Meanwhile,~~ these factors have been ~~are~~ proved to be necessary parts of effective communication in real life because they help communicators to ~~well-~~control the situation and judiciously-react to their partnersâ thoughts and feelings. Actually, writing habits limits body language in daily communication.Young people who live in the virtual world of networks nearly all the time have become involved in anonymous communication via pseudonymous accounts at least once, thus they know the feeling of suspicion in the process of the contact. In such a case, almost everything they tell each other is for the purpose of fun and relaxation. There is hardly a moment ~~Hardly is there any time~~ when they express ~~tell~~ their true feelings. In some other cases, they confide ~~confine~~ in a person in the cyber-world, relating ~~about~~ their problems just because that person does not know much about them. They feel free to talk without judging how that person is and without worrying how they will be judged. This habit results in a ~~their~~ lack of communication skills and ability to realize a trustworthy person in real life. Therefore, they have difficulty (in) reacting to ~~hardly have reasonable reaction in~~ different situations; they just act as if they were in their virtual community. In conclusion, the above is the newly-formed way of communication among people as a result of Internet abuse. To some extent, this cannot be said to be entirely negative; but it is certain to adversely affect communicators, especially young ones in daily life. In fact, the development of this advanced technology raises the a question of how young generations can remain communicating with each other in a natural way, while they do not stop abusing the Internet.
II. Argumentative essay

Topic 1: We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.
Learning seems to be an everlasting task for people of all ages. Among various sources that we can learn from are the people around us. One question in consideration is who we can learn much more from: people with the same views or people with the opposite ones. Many agree/believe ~~approve~~ that people who share their opinions provide them with much more valuable lessons than those who oppose to them. They add that disagreement (just) causes stress and inhibits learning. Actually, these peopleâs belief is not really true.First and foremost, people have the opportunity ~~great chances~~ to practice critical thinking when getting into an argument with those who hold the opposite point of view ~~say the opposite to their thought~~. Critical thinking is known as a way of embracing the ~~taking up~~ problems of life. A person with a critical habit of thought is not conservative but considers all the concerned aspects based on convincing evidence. However, it is impossible to form this habit if he does not have a chance to deal with a lot of different points of views. Meanwhile, no matter how intelligent a person is, he himself cannot come up with all the things he may encounter in the process of figuring out an issue. Thus, working with contradictious people provides a person with an ideal environment for bettering this skill. In fact, to meet the target of critical thinking, a person has to go through three stages: analysis, synthesis and evaluation. It means that when working on an issue, it is necessary for him to employ his own knowledge to be able to deliver his own views with sound evidence. Nonetheless, he is not objective enough if he stops here because knowledge may be wider and deeper than his current acquisition. That is the reason why he needs to listen to and criticize othersâ opinions carefully and fairly, and then combines that with what he has known to make a decision. In this so-called synthesis stage, he is likely to refute different ideas which are certainly defended. This defense will bring him a great deal of useful information as long as he is selective. With careful analysis and synthesis, he can come to a certain conclusion. Maybe his initial opinions then are no longer strong for less convincing evidence, but what he has is a reasonable approach to such a controversial issue. Some object arguiung ~~objectors argue~~ that disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning. In fact, debaters cannot avoid over-enthusiasm and over-determination in any heated discussion. Thus, it is not disagreement but the atmosphere of a debate that somehow causes stress. However, being stressed is just a temporary effect of activating their nerves for thought. This effect is greatly outweighed by what people are likely to achieve afterwards. In such a case, disagreement is not learning inhibition but learning stimulation. On the other hand, it is not wise for a person to have too much stress in the process of a discussion. Actually, he can possibly reduce the stress by thinking about and discussing the issue in the least aggressive manner. If he cannot do so when he still involves the debate, heâd better choose another time to discuss again after studying and analyzing everything in concern. It is also recommended that he should find more related information from reliable sources to support the points.All in all, arguments among people who present contradicting views can bring us great opportunities to widen our knowledge and sharpen our critical thinking skill. These benefits are somehow less achieved from those whose opinions are like ours because the discussion will quickly stop when some supporting ideas, which are considered reasonable, are delivered.

Hi - Got as far as I could with this - but only done very quickly - hope it's of some help

(Urgent!) please help me to correct two essays here! Thanks!

Chibi — Thu, 22 May 2008 18:59:44 GMT

I. Cause/Effect essay

Topic: Write an essay about how the internet affects the way people communicate with each other

Internet, in this high-tech era, has become more popular with people of all ages. It provides the whole community with a huge amount of communication as well as a great means of entertainment and global connection. This advanced technology has also contributed to the considerable change in communication among people, particularly youngsters. The fact that people prefer the use of writing via chat-windows, blogs or e-mails instead of face-to-face talking limits the use of body language. Moreover, Internet addicts are likely to convey their thoughts and react to othersâ in the same way of communication in the virtual world.Internet addiction causes the communication form of writing to be more popular. In common sense, communication is the way of transforming information and emotion with the use of speaking or writing. When the Internet was not popularized, the communication form of speaking was preferable since it was considered much faster than the process of writing and sending a letter. However, along with the development of information technology, people have been accustomed to chat-windows, blogs or e-mails, and (have) used them as normal tools of modern communication. This newly-formed habit of exchanging information or messages leads communicators to ignore the use of physical means such as facial expression, eye contact and haptics. Meanwhile, these factors are proved to be necessary parts of effective communication in real life because they help communicators to well-control the situation and judiciously-react to their partnersâ thoughts and feelings. Actually, writing habit limits body language in daily communication.Young people who live in the virtual world of network nearly all the time have involved in anonymous communication via pseudonymous account at least once, thus they know the feeling of suspicion in the process of the contact. In such a case, almost everything they tell each other is for the purpose of fun and relaxation. Hardly is there any time when they tell their true feelings. In some other cases, they confine in a person in the cyber-world about their problems just because that person does not know much about them. They feel free to talk without judging how that person is and without worrying how they will be judged. This habit results in their lack of communication skills and ability to realize a trustworthy person in real life. Therefore, they hardly have reasonable reaction in different situations; they just act as if they were in their virtual community. In conclusion, above is the newly-formed way of communication among people as a result of Internet abuse. To some extent, this cannot be said to be entirely negative; but it is certain to adversely affect communicators, especially young ones in daily life. In fact, the development of this advanced technology raises a question of how young generations can remain communicating with each other in a natural way, while they do not stop abusing the Internet.

II. Argumentative essay

Topic 1: We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.

Learning seems to be an everlasting task for people of all ages. Among various sources that we can learn from are people around us. One question in consideration is who we can learn much more from: people with the same views or people with the opposite ones. Many approve that people who share their opinions provide them with much more valuable lessons than those who oppose to them. They add that disagreement just causes stress and inhibits learning. Actually, these peopleâs belief is not really true.First and foremost, people have great chances to practice critical thinking when getting into an argument with those who say the opposite to their thought. Critical thinking is known as a way of taking up problems of life. A person with a critical habit of thought is not conservative but considers all the concerned aspects based on convincing evidence. However, it is impossible to form this habit if he does not have a chance to deal with a lot of different points of views. Meanwhile, no matter how intelligent a person is, he himself cannot come up with all the things he may encounter in the process of figuring out an issue. Thus, working with contradictious people provides a person with an ideal environment for bettering this skill. In fact, to meet the target of critical thinking, a person has to go through three stages: analysis, synthesis and evaluation. It means that when working on an issue, it is necessary for him to employ his own knowledge to be able to deliver his own views with sound evidence. Nonetheless, he is not objective enough if he stops here because knowledge may be wider and deeper than his current acquisition. That is the reason why he needs to listen to and criticize othersâ opinions carefully and fairly, and then combines with what he has known to make a decision. In this so-called synthesis stage, he is likely to refute different ideas which are certainly defended. This defense will bring him a great deal of useful information as long as he is selective. With careful analysis and synthesis, he can come to a certain conclusion. Maybe his initial opinions then are no longer strong for less convincing evidence, but what he has is a reasonable approach to such a controversial issue. Some objectors argue that disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning. In fact, debaters cannot avoid over-enthusiasm and over-determination in any heated discussion. Thus, it is not disagreement but the atmosphere of a debate that somehow causes stress. However, being stressed is just a temporary effect of activating their nerves for thought. This effect is greatly outweighed by what people are likely to achieve afterwards. In such a case, disagreement is not learning inhibition but learning stimulation. On the other hand, it is not wise for a person to have too much stress in the process of a discussion. Actually, he can possibly reduce the stress by thinking about and discussing the issue in the least aggressive manner. If he cannot do so when he still involves the debate, heâd better choose another time to discuss again after studying and analyzing everything in concern. It is also recommended that he should find more related information from reliable sources to support the points.All in all, arguments among people who present contradicting views can bring us great opportunities to widen our knowledge and sharpen our critical thinking skill. These benefits are somehow less achieved from those whose opinions are like ours because the discussion will quickly stop when some supporting ideas, which are considered reasonable, are delivered.