Search results for 'tag:Essays tag:Grammar' matching tags 'Essays' and 'Grammar'

I need help with essay, Please!

hupdy — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:13:24 GMT

This is my essay I wrote, my teacher told me I need help with my grammar and verbs, hope someonw can help. Thanks.

Engineering is in the hands of the engineer, I believe that the engineers have a responsibility on what technology that person would create. In the documentary âThe Day After Trinityâ shows the life of Robert J. Oppenheimer and his contribution to the making of the atomic bomb. In the short story âThe Poemâ by Ray Bradbury depicts an artist with powers to create or destroy life with his writing, in another short story by Bradbury âThe Veldtâ depicts a futuristic society where kids have become addicted to technology. In the documentary âAmerican Experience: New York Undergroundâ shows the innovation of the New York City subway system and how it was made.

Engineers have the responsibility on what they design, which would either help mankind or destroy it. In the documentary, Oppenheimer wanted to help build the atomic bomb because he believed that this contribution would help the United States win WWII, he believe that making the bomb will help the world get rid of Nazi Germany, but instead they killed thousands of innocent Japanese with two atomic bombs. The engineer should think before creating.

Anyone that has the power to create things should have the responsibility on how to use it. âHis eyes shone fiercely. âThen I can destroy the universe and immortalize it at one and the same instant. Itâs in the power of a sonnet, if I choose to write it. (Bradbruy,781)â David (character from story) found out about his powers and was not responsible enough to handle it. Davidâs wife, who had more reasoning, tires to manage Davidâs powers. Engineers have the power of creation, with this power, responsibility will follow.

Engineering a technology can become an addiction. âThey walked down the ball. âI locked the nursery up,â explained the father, âand the children broke back in to it during the nightâ¦â (Bradbury, 8)â The kids were punish were not allowed to use the nursery, but they were addicted to this technology, since there addiction was so strong they decide to kill their parents in order to save the nursery. The short story was publish during the 1950âs and is amazing how the depiction of the addiction to technology is not far from the present. Engineers would have to think about what is good for the individual.

There are some engineers who did take the responsibilities in order to help their fellow man. In the documentary âNew York Undergroundâ shows engineers and workers work day and night in order to provide an essential service that New York which was the subway. Because of the subway congestion from the streets fell 70%, life and business grow.

My stand on engineering is base on how the engineers would design something to help the world. Engineers have become more wanted because technology is advancing, advancing in many areas such as medicine, communication, environmental, etc. In the case of the atomic bomb it was necessary to fight the enemy, but having the power to create should not be use to destroy life with your creation. Somethingâs the things that are created can become an addiction. Engineers must decide to weather create something that could help or destroy the world.

Is it a Personal Recount?

Pleasecorrectme — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 13:08:17 GMT

Hehehe! I am trying to write a personal Recount! Is this considered as a personal recount or a narrative? Please correct my grammar error , i tend to make a lot of mistake but i am trying my best to reduce it ! How can i improve on this essay ( like more of what and less of what) ? Thank you so very much ! Thank you thank you !

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The moment I truely felt proud of myself
Nat was running around pretending to be chased by a ghost. âTammy, remember to look after your brother. Iâm going to pay a visit to your aunt.â I rolled my eyes. Not again! The last time Mum left me with Nat, he rolled down from the second storey â with his skating shoes on â and that was how he had gotten two stitches on his forehead. âTammy! What do you call two pigs?â Nat popped his head out from the door. Even an imbecilic baboon would know but I tried to humour him. âWhat do you call them?â Natâs eyes flew open; he turned to me in horror. âYou donât know? Theyâre called stupid!â I groaned. âGet it?â followed by manic giggling. âTwo pigs are stupid!â More lunatic laughter. âYouâre stupid!â snigger, snigger. Oh god! What have I done? âGrow up.â I warned. But Nat couldnât stop laughing. Finally, he stopped when I flashed him my trusty old buddy â the deadly stare.

âNow now, Nat, be a good little boy and get out of this room! Right away! And donât try anything stupid like last time!â I warned and kicked his butt out of the room. Now, that crazy ninny was screaming and bolting around pretending to be chased by the âinvisibleâ me. When can this nine-year-old boy grow up? I sighed.

I was solving my chemistry when I heard a loud thunder. I shot up from my seat and ran to see what happened. Nat was at the bottom of the stairs crying loudly. âNat! What happened?â I flew down the stairs to him. There was a wide gash on his knee, about the length of a pencil. âOh my gosh! Nat! Stop crying, youâre making me panic!â Crimson red came spurting out of his knee. The floor was stained dark red, blood kept erupting like a volcano. âStay here!â I dashed up the stairs to get my first aid kit. Luckily I prepared this ever since Nat fell down the stairs â like now. Taking the big white box, I flew down the stairs again.Fumbling to open the box, I chose the cloth. The white cloth instantly stained red. My heart was beating as though it was vibrating. I tired to stay calm. Pressing hard on his wound, the bleeding started to slow down. Nat face was white. He cried so hard that he could not breathe. âRelax Nat! Itâs just a small cut.â I tried to clam him down. But he cried harder. I took the cloth away gently. The cloth was dripping with blood. Then, I took the yellow bottle containing yellow fluid. Popping out the cap, I took another cloth and pour the fluid onto the cloth. Lightly, I placed the cloth on his knee.

Nat eyes followed my hand and he looked intently at how I treated his knee. When I finally bandaged his knee, the end product was quite satisfying. Except that his knee was bandaged into a fat white bundle, everything was fine. My hard work from watching âtreating the injuredâ had paid off! I brought Nat to the Sofa and poured him a cup of warm milk. His face looked as though he had been chased by a ghost. His crying stopped but he was still having hiccups.

Mum arrived home that afternoon. Her eyes flew open when she saw Natâs knee swollen with white bandaged. âTammy, I am so proud of you!â Mum said with tears in her eyes â either she was overly worried for Nat or extremely proud of me. In my heart, I chose to believe the latter. Suddenly, Nat talked, âMummy! Tammy is so brave!â He opened his arm and signaled to me. I went and hugged him tightly. âGlad you are still alive.â I laughed. That moment, tears filled my eyes. I was so proud of myself.

Thank you!

will someone proofread my essay? need by monday

basic2008 — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 05:14:02 GMT

I just finished a compare and contrast essay and I do not trust my grammar. I do not know if my commas are in the right place and I do not trust my spell check on my computer.

Many thanks!

   There are two great cliffs located at Lake Nichols Landing in Tuscaloosa. They both can be found just off the winding footpath, through the wooded area as you get to the clearing. Many people do not know the exact location of these cliffs because there arenât any posted signs or visible indication that there are cliffs there. For that very reason, the cliffs are never crowded. A beautiful nature scene greets people as they arrive. Both cliffs share impressive views that skim the horizon, and a calming pool of water, deep enough for jumping, rests at its feet. Despite these similarities, each cliff is quite different.
    To begin with, access to the cliffs can be challenging. The first cliff is directly up a gently sloped hill and is easily accessible. After arriving at the clearing, a person can see the first cliff within minutes. It is a short hike up the straight trail and left at the weather-worn oak tree. In contrast, the other cliff is not as easily accessible, and its view is hidden from unaware people passing by.   One might say that it is a hikerâs delight. A person has to hike farther up the rock-strewn hill, through the dense woods, until they reach a narrow trail. The trail then winds for a good five to seven minutes until they finally reach a patch of brush. The other cliff is just past the dead patch and is a larger well-shaded area that is more secluded than the first cliff.
    Admittedly, jumping off the high cliffs are dangerous, but the drop-off distances appeal to enthusiasts on many levels. Many thrill seekers are still keen on tempting their fate and taking the leap. The first cliff has a 20-foot drop to get to the water. People prefer to jump from this cliff because jumping 20-feet doesnât seem so daunting. A daring individual will stand at the edge of the cliff without being intimidated. There are no obstacles to interfere with the jump, and it is a clean shot to the cool water. Alternatively, the other cliff is much higher with a 30-foot drop. Many people tend to stay away from this cliff because of how high it is. It takes either a very courageous, or a very frivolous, individual to launch themselves off a 30-foot cliff into thin air. They must take a deep breath and a running start to avoid the jagged rocks and trees below. Clearly, this cliff is the more dangerous of the two.
    Lastly, climbing out of the water is not the easiest of tasks. If jumping off the first cliff, a person needs to climb out of the water on the left side of the natural stone. The dirt path is not a difficult climb and is soft on the feet. The smooth rock steps are well formed and easily spotted due to many visitors trampling up and down the route. Consequently, climbing out of the water from the other cliff may require a bit more exertion. A person has to repel up a small overgrown rock trail, while grasping at young branches and trees for support. They trek through a heavily wooded area and murky water. Even on the brightest of days, the soggy path seems dark and damp. It is like walking barefooted through patches of thick mud and leaves. If a person is not careful, they could easily slip on the slimy rocks or even worse â encounter bugs or snakes! It actually is very scary.
    On a final note, the cliffs at Lake Nichols may differ in many ways, but nevertheless, their similarities have one goal in common: to be there for everyone to enjoy. Whichever cliffs people choose, they should be aware that both cliffs have rewards and risks. It all depends on what type of adventure they are looking for.

Social anxiety+poor English=failure

akstylish — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:44:22 GMT

Hello there. Let me introduce myself first.

I'm an Asian-American who went to South Korea one month after I was born in the U.S. Then I came back 5 years ago when I was a high school freshman, so I had to learn English from scratch. For the first few months my English improved pretty well, but I hadn't made any close friend and things started going bad. I became more and more shy and was eventually diagnosed with social anxiety one year later. During my high school years I only made some acquaintances and rarely hung out with anyone. I slowly developed depression as well and once attempted suicide by taking 60 sleeping pills.

Fortunately I was still able to keep the GPA and SAT scores high enough to get into a moderate college(GA Tech). My parents and relatives kept telling me life in college campus is way better than high school life despite academic pressure and told me to rest assured everything will get better.

They couldn't be more wrong.

My anxiety was so bad at that point that I could barely breathe and my whole body became stiff wherever I could see someone or vice versa. And I had to walk around buildings and streets filled with hundreds of people everyday. Even in my dorm room I couldn't relax because I had a roommate. I got so depressed during the first week I just had to hide somewhere and cry, yet there was nowhere to. I also began to have difficulty concentrating, and it took me 5 minutes to read ONE page. On top of that my English skills were about the same as back when I was a high school freshman for the obvious reason(except grammar), so I got F's on every essay for English. After a month I lost my motivation to study and failed in other classes as well.

I eventually decided to withdraw from school and concentrate on treating social anxiety and improving English at home for the following semester. However, I've already been on therapy on medications for years and tried my best to get out of social anxiety. There's gotta be at least some improvement to keep me trying. So I've been wasting my life doing nothing but websurfing and sleeping at home this entire semester. Now it's time to go back, and my English and social anxiety got even worse.(I probably spoke to someone in English thirty times or so for the last 6 months)

Well, that's my story. Just venting here...I didn't really mean to write this for advice(I've already asked for help to so many people), but I'd appreciate it.

(By the way, you might be thinking my writing skills aren't so bad. Trust me, it is terrible. It's just that for some reason my first post on a forum is always the best. Plus, it takes me hours to write a post this long.)

Re: New Idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tanit — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:57:03 GMT

Hi and welcome to the forums!
You can write a short paragraph and post it in the general grammar forum or an essay and post it here, in the writing forum. There are a lot of native speakers here (some of whom are also teachers) who will have a look at it, make corrections and give suggestions. Some learners might want to offer their opinions, as well.
You will probably be asking, "How much do I have to pay for that?" Nothing!!!
No classrooms or given topics, though. Choose a topic and post your writing.

Re: Please help me check my grammar.

julielai — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:51:48 GMT

I've highlighted a few things for you to fix. I'm not sure what you're trying to say in your essay. If this is a movie review, then you should focus on the movie and not dancing in general.

mountain
I wrote this essay last night and I know I shift tense a lot, just don't know what to correct any more. Please help me if you have time. Thank you

"Save the Last Dance 2" is a movie that depicted a young girl who has always dreamed of becoming a famous ballerina dancer since she was a little kid. In order for her dream to become reality, Sara has put tremendous time and effort to reach her dream. After high school, she got accepted to Juilliard School in New York city, which is one of the world's premier performing arts conservatories ~~located in New York City~~. As she became a famous ballerina dancer, she ~~later~~ discovered another dance style called "Hip-Hop" with the help of Miles Sultuana. She then realized that her life is not just about ballet and she has been perfecting someone else's step instead of defining her own.

I believe in today's society, music has a huge impact on teenagers, especially hip-hop and rap. While watching the movie, I found Candy's dancing style ~~was~~ distracting and unpleasant to watch because she keeps on sticking her chest out while battling with Sara. Although the song lyrics say "stick your chest out, roll it on the ground" I did not believe it was necessary to follow exactly what the lyrics said. If Candy is a creative dancer, she should not try those kinds of moves. I felt that ~~most~~ hip-hop and rap music is a bad choice for teenagers ~~to listen to~~ because most of them talk about sex, girls, money, and drugs which may lead to sexual activity, violence, and bad behavior. Hip-hop and rap not only influence the way teenagers act but also the way they dress. (not related to the review)
I saw a couple of break dancing moves in the movie that I thought were great. One of the dancers did a pose by positioning his body upside down with his hands pushing his body up and his legs curved on the side. That move requires a lot of strength. Another dancer did a head spin move which I thought was also great. He started out slowly and suddenly increased his speed by twisting his legs together and put a quick spin on his legs. This dancing style was very popular in the late nineties. I remember when I was in middle school, a lot of kids including myself were practicing break dance to battle with another kid or crew. Not only was it fun to practice but it also helped us to strengthen our bodies and be more agile.

Re: Paragraph Suggestions

Cute572 — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 23:48:56 GMT

Thanks Mister Micawber!

Well i m trying to write descriptive paragraph that's why i used many strange words. But i noted the grammar mistakes and your suggestions

Please help me check my grammar.

mountain — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 16:47:01 GMT

I wrote this essay last night and I know I shift tense a lot, just don't know what to correct any more. Please help me if you have time. Thank you

"Save the Last Dance 2" is a movie that depicted a young girl who has always dreamed of becoming a famous ballerina dancer since she was a little kid. In order for her dream to become reality, Sara has put tremendous time and effort to reach her dream. After high school, she got accepted to Juilliard School which is one of the world's premier performing arts conservatories located in New York City. As she became a famous ballerina dancer, she later discovered another dance style called "Hip-Hop" with the help of Miles Sultuana. She then realized that her life is not just about ballet and she has been perfecting someone else's step instead of defining her own.
I believe in today's society, music has a huge impact on teenagers, especially hip-hop and rap. While watching the movie, I found Candy's dancing style was distracting and unpleasant to watch because she keeps on sticking her chest out while battling with Sara. Although the song lyrics say "stick your chest out, roll it on the ground" I did not believe it was necessary to follow exactly what the lyrics said. If Candy is a creative dancer, she should not enforce those kinds of moves. I felt that most hip-hop and rap music is a bad choice for teenagers to listen to because most of them talk about sex, girls, money, and drugs which may lead to sexual activity, violence, and bad behavior. Hip-hop and rap not only influence the way teenagers act but also the way they dress.
I saw a couple of break dancing moves in the movie that I thought were great. One of the dancers did a pose by positioning his body upside down with his hands pushing his body up and his legs curved on the side. That move requires a lot of strength. Another dancer did a head spin move which I thought was also great. He started out slowly and suddenly increased his speed by twisting his legs together and put a quick spin on his legs. This dancing style was very popular in the late nineties. I remember when I was in middle school, a lot of kids including myself were practicing break dance to battle with another kid or crew. Not only was it fun to practice but it also helped us to strengthen our bodies and be more agile.
Dancing is one of the most difficult, disciplined, and beautiful art forms. Not to say other dancing styles are not difficult but out of all the dancing styles in the movie, I thought ballet is truly the most difficult type of dance to accomplish. Classical ballet takes a lot of strength and agility and yet it is supposed to look simple. I thought the last performance that Sara performed at Juilliard was the best ballet in the movie. The performance, costumes, dim lighting, and music were perfect. The costumes that the ballerinas wear is perfectly fitting them because it does not get in their way while performing and it warms their muscles to help them work more efficiently.
I think ballet seems to click when all elements like costumes, scenery, and the way it is filmed come together. I thought the music, dim lighting, costumes, performance, audiences, and the ambience that were there when Sara performed her ballet dance at Juilliard was perfect. Dancing took not only dancers to complete the piece. But it took choreographers, lighting designers and operators, musicians, and many other talented people who almost never get the recognition they deserve to complete the piece. Ballet was not only an art but I felt it was trying to tell a story which many dancing styles lack.
I usually don't watch this kind of movie but "Save the Last Dance 2" is definitely a movie I would rent again and I recommend to those who love, dislike, or are clueless about dancing to watch this movie so they know how much sacrifice and dedication the dancers devoted their time to master the art. I felt that the movie is appropriate for almost all ages except for the intimate bedroom love scene between the two lead characters which was unnecessary. Other than that, there is no harsh or foul language. I enjoyed the movie very much and plan on renting the original "Save the Last Dance" to compare the two. I wanted to know more about Mile and Sara's past so I thought the movie was kind of short.
Sara has lost her mom when tragedy strike but she has not given up her dream to become a famous ballerina. She continued to pursue her dream and discovered another art that she loved dearly and does not know which way to turn then she realized that she cannot live without both. People have different reasons to why they dance; some may dance to help co-ordination, strength, stamina, flexibility, balance, etcâ¦, dancing does mostly benefit you. By dancing, you may meet lots of people from different walks and find out more about other people's culture other than your own. Dancing is not for everyone but if you devote your time and effort into anything you love, you definitely will be rewarded at the end.

Re: Could you please help me with the introduction of this essay?

Mr Wordy — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:22:58 GMT

A few changes are needed to tidy up the grammar/spelling, but otherwise I think your opening paragraph is fine.

According to ~~the~~ recent research, ~~there are~~ 50 to 100 million of animals worldwide, from ~~Zebra-fish~~ zebra fish [?] to non-human primates, are used in scientific experiments. Yet at the same time, the question of whether humans should conduct experiments on animals is subject to much debate. Some ~~one~~ think it is beneficial for humans while others argue that it should be ~~band~~ banned. I agree with the former view, but with reservations.

To be perfectly honest, I don't know which of "zebra-fish", "zebra fish" and "zebrafish" are accepted spellings. Possibly all three are OK. But since I was de-capitalising it anyway I changed it to the spelling given in Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary.

Please Check My Essay for TOEFL

yellow-submarine — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 13:14:03 GMT

Hello.ãI'm a Japanese man, and I am planning to study abroad. This is my first time to post my essay here.

I would be most grateful if you could point out and correct errors of grammar, expression, logic, and so on, in my essay.

I wrote this essay for TOEFL, so please take it into account. (At the last exam, I scored 18 out of 30 in the writing section.)

"Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other peoplerefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer?

Use pecific reasons and examples to support your answer."

When considering the place to eat food, some people like to eat out at restaurants,while others prefer to eat at home. I support the latter idea, for it is more economical. My answer is based on the following two points.

ãFirstly, we can cut cost for diet by preparing by ourselves. In general, dishes at restaurant are more expensive than those cooked at home. Various costs such as maintenance cost and labor cost are required to serve dishes at restaurants, and these inevitable factors make the price higher. On the other hand, when preparing food at home, we can compare supermarkets to pursue and purchase more inexpensive materials such as vegetables and meat. Moreover, we donât need to pay such maintenance cost and labor cost. Therefore, it is more economical to prepare and eat at home.

ãNext, we can limit our expenditure for seeing a doctor. If we continue to eat out, the risk of diabetes or other diseases become higher, for foods served at restaurants tends to be contained with a lot of salt and fat. We feel delicious when we eat oily food. Restaurants try to serve delicious food. Then, it is unhealthy to eat out. Therefore, if we eat at home and keep ourselves healthy, we can keep down medical care cost. Furthermore, we can choose materials by our own, which enable us to choose safer ones. Thus, by preparing and eating at home, we can keep ourselves healthy, and can cut cost for medical care.

ãIn conclusion, if we prepare and eat food at home, it is more economical because we can make a selection of more reasonable foods, and we can keep down cost for seeing a doctor. In Japan, the number of children has decreased, and the number of elderly people has increased. It will be difficult to support the cost for medical by a small working population. Then, Japanese people should try to decrease the cost.