Search results for 'tag:Essays tag:Paragraphs' matching tags 'Essays' and 'Paragraphs'

Re: Can anyone proofread my essay? Its a little long sorry

Clive — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:46:18 GMT

Hi,

Here's the first paragraph. Perhaps other people will join in.

Clive

The idea of the American dream and success grabbed my parents' attention in the 80âs. Both of them were born in Korea. However, they had complete different childhoods. It was never easy for both my mom and dad to settle down in the developing nation of Korea. They were both born in the 60âs when Korea had just suffered from the war against North Korea. Korea being in the stage of rebuilding the nation, most people worked extremely hard in making ends meet. Life in Korea after the war was significantly different to the kind of life people are living there now. Nevertheless, my mother and father ended up in the United States, giving me many opportunities.

Why do you say 'neverthless'? Where is the contrast?

Re: Please help me proofread and correct my essay.

mountain — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 17:03:03 GMT

Sorry for being impatient but please proof read one paragraph if you could and maybe someone else could help me with the next. Thanks

Re: make sense?

Avangi — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:00:50 GMT

Marius Hancu
Such contrasts/jumps are avoided by good writers.

I feel I understand Marius' objection, but I think this points up the weakness of evaluating short sentences out of context - something we unfortunately can't avoid.

If there were a series of paragraphs about country life (eg. in an essay) and each one addressed a different aspect, the switch from general to specific would be exactly what's called for as a topic sentence for one of the paragraphs. I think it's perfect.

- A.

Re: New Idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tanit — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:57:03 GMT

Hi and welcome to the forums!
You can write a short paragraph and post it in the general grammar forum or an essay and post it here, in the writing forum. There are a lot of native speakers here (some of whom are also teachers) who will have a look at it, make corrections and give suggestions. Some learners might want to offer their opinions, as well.
You will probably be asking, "How much do I have to pay for that?" Nothing!!!
No classrooms or given topics, though. Choose a topic and post your writing.

Re: Internet- could you please check this essay out. Thank you!

Anonymous — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:31:53 GMT

Hi Julielai,

I appreciate your comment.
I break yp my first paragraph as you mentioned.
There should be too much mistakes that difficult to point out, sorry about it.

The widespread use of the internet has brought us advantages, and disadvantages. Easy access to the world and information is very useful, though, this reaches unwelcome information.

People tend to get together with same interest and opinion, feels comfortable to tale talk with someone who agree with you, which make you confident you are right and sometimes the opinion goes too far from the world average. Internet can be used to express yourself like though blog. In some blog, they just complain their wife/husband in the diary but never said their feeling to whom they should talk that other than anyone else. If you are expressing themselves in blog just to stress out and write to face the problem or write to helps calm down and think it by themselves, or asking other people opinion to solve the problem, these are fine and positive. Though, if they are just running away from the reality and just complaining, the problem never to be solved. One day during the internet surfing, the blog I found is that one house wife is sick and feel disease and canât do any house works, complaining her husband asked why she do not do anything. The sentence is so long, I guess she spend more than a hour for that and updating so often, I think she can do some souse works while typing the complaints. In the comments section, I was surprised to see that all the comments are saying feel sorry for her and how bad the husband is. I did not write any comment for it, I just start seeing blogs and never comment to any blogs yet, that is why.

I believe main problem associated with the usage of the tendency to get together of the people of same opinion and make a very limited inner society but believes this is the whole world opinion. To avoid this situation, balance is bevy important, take balance of the real friend and blog friend, also their opinion. Don not only listen to comfortable messages to you, but severe messages, this is important.

Re: Paragraph Suggestions

Cute572 — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 23:48:56 GMT

Thanks Mister Micawber!

Well i m trying to write descriptive paragraph that's why i used many strange words. But i noted the grammar mistakes and your suggestions

Re: Paragraph

Cute572 — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:24:28 GMT

Guys! I m trying to sort out some thing that works or help me in some way to improve my paraghraph but if you stop replying and pointing my mistakes how come it happen. I have to complete my paragraph, with or without you peoples' help because time is running out, I am not a writer who spend whole life in improving one essay...I am just a student who are trying to get pass somehow but if u do help me i will appreciate it. Otherwise i m sorry to say i will be disappointed. You guys help me alot so dont stop here at this critical time!

GG i am not pressuring only you to answer my posts. You are not ordered to answer but its my way of talking to people, to continue with people who answer me first. If someone like to answer, answer without pressure. I am requesting to all members out there who are reading my post.

Please Reply My POSTS !

Re: Fragmented sentences

Delmobile — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 04:24:15 GMT

I mean starting out an essay in one tense and switching to another, sometimes in the same paragraph. It's fine in a colorful story about tossing your grandma's cornstarch in a dumpster, but not in a formal analysis of, oh, Russian propaganda techniques during the second World War.

Re: Could you please help me with the introduction of this essay?

Mr Wordy — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:22:58 GMT

A few changes are needed to tidy up the grammar/spelling, but otherwise I think your opening paragraph is fine.

According to ~~the~~ recent research, ~~there are~~ 50 to 100 million of animals worldwide, from ~~Zebra-fish~~ zebra fish [?] to non-human primates, are used in scientific experiments. Yet at the same time, the question of whether humans should conduct experiments on animals is subject to much debate. Some ~~one~~ think it is beneficial for humans while others argue that it should be ~~band~~ banned. I agree with the former view, but with reservations.

To be perfectly honest, I don't know which of "zebra-fish", "zebra fish" and "zebrafish" are accepted spellings. Possibly all three are OK. But since I was de-capitalising it anyway I changed it to the spelling given in Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary.

Could you please help me with the introduction of this essay?

bmatt — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:36:26 GMT

Question: Should experiments be conducted on animals for the benefit of human beings?

My introduction paragraph is like this:

According to the recent research, there are 50 to 100 million of animals worldwide , from Zebra-fish to non-human primates, are used in scientific experiments. Yet at the same time, whether human should conduct experiment on animals is subject to much debate. Some one think it is beneficial for human while others argue that it should be band. I agree with the former view, but with reservations.

Could you please help me to review and give me some suggestions?

Many Thanks,

Matt