Search results for 'tag:Essays tag:Punctuation' matching tags 'Essays' and 'Punctuation'

sat essey, do we need "to unlearn" ideas?, Pleeaase check it!!

Anonymous — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:27:53 GMT

The task is to answer the question posed in the assignment. Please, check all my grammar, punctuation and lexical mistakes. I would be also very grateful for any notes on ineffectiveness of the content as well as on the structure.
Here is the task:

Prompt 1
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
The first problem for all of us is not to learn but to unlearn. We hold on to ideas that were accepted in the past, and we are afraid to give them up. Preconceptions about what is right or wrong, true or false, good or bad are embedded so deeply in our thinking that we honestly may not know that they are there. Whether it's women's role in society or the role of our country in the world, the old assumptions just don't work anymore.
Adapted from Gloria Steinem, "A New Egalitarian Lifestyle"
Assignment:
Do people need to "unlearn," or reject, many of their assumptions and ideas? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

And here is the essay:

    As Gloria Steinem once mentioned âwe hold on to the ides that were accepted in the past, and are afraid to give them upâ. She was right that most of us have already established outlook and beliefs, which we hardly ever decide to reject. Unfortunately, some of those convictions might be entirely wrong or disadvantageous to our well being. Because of that, it is of great necessity, that we know how to âunlearnâ our assumptions and make a place for new ones. Rejecting past beliefs is as beneficial for a society as well as for an individual.
    One example of discarding the old views by the world as a society could be the act of restating the rights of women. Before the second half of the 19th century almost nobody thought about equal rights for females. However, females felt the injustice and mobilized in order to force the society to âunlearnâ its assumptions. A lot of feministsâ organizations were founded across the world. Among them was the National Woman Suffrage Association established by Susan B. Anthony and Elisabeth Stanton in the United States. Thanks to their political work, women gained the right to vote in most of the states. The same process had also occurred in Europe. A lot of effort was made to change the peopleâs outlook on the equality of genders. But only thanks to these engaged suffragists, todayâs Western countries could give a man and a woman equivalent privilege. Although much is still to be done, the perception of women transformed greatly from that in the past.
    The process of âunlearningâ might also concern an individual. An example of a beneficial act of rejecting oneâs beliefs can be set by Rodion Raskolnikov, a protagonist of a well-known work of Fyodor Dostoyevsky, âCrime and Punishmentâ. At the beginning of the book the main character held a somewhat deviated ideology. He is marveled with the concept of a âSupermanâ, which he himself had invented. Moreover, he is convinced that the âchosenâ individuals are allowed to decide, within their own morality, about the extent of their laws. According to his philosophy, those people should not be constrained by any rules or regulations regarding an average person. Holding a belief that he is such an exceptional individual, Raskolnikov decided to commit a murder and a robbery. His plans were achieved and he evaded the apprehension. However, the crime created such a burden on his conscience that he could hardly bare it. The criminal decided to voluntarily report himself to the police. During his stay in the prison he realized that his life philosophy was erroneous and gave it up. Only after rejecting it, was he able to recover and return to normal life.
    To âunlearnâ some of our assumptions is sometimes very hard. However, it is often inevitable to improve and develop. We need to eliminate faulty credence to make space for new, accurate ones. People as a group as well as separate individuals should always be open for new ideas and able to change their wrong convictions, because only that, would guarantee a progress.

Re: Hi, I have a questions about my letter to my professor.

Anonymous — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 07:29:20 GMT

You wrote these sentences to respond to the original inquiring post: :

This is very informal - were you asked to do an informal letter or an essay?

Other than that, my main impression is that you haven't really answered the question - only a few words about your impression of the class.

I like your use of dashes -- they flow naturally and seem to convey your thoughts naturally. Having said that your first sentence of using a simple sentence and following that with a question with a dash to connect both is very interesting. In your second sentence, what follows the dash isn't a clause, nor does it seem to link to the previous clause in a way that natually connects them but rather have done in a way that is connecting but rather distant structually.

How can I use to learn to use a dash like you have done? I looked at online sources for help but they don't seem to go in detail about this punctuation mark.

Re: however (punctuation)

Clive — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 02:35:44 GMT

Hi,

1. He studied very hard, however, he didn't pass the exam.

2. He studied very hard; however, he didn't pass the exam.

3. He studied very hard. However, he didn't pass the exam.

I was wondering if it is alright to use #3 in one sentence and #2 on the other in one essay.

Sure, you can use them both in the same essay if you want to, but why would you want to repeat yourself like that?

In a formal essay, don't use abbreviations, eg say 'he did not' instead of 'he didn't'.

Best wishes, Clive

Re: however (punctuation)

Anonymous — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 00:46:16 GMT

Hello, Clive

I was wondering if it is alright to use #3 in one sentence and #2 on the other in one essay.

Re: Punctuation help

Clive — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 21:35:40 GMT

Hi,

So what should I use instead of 'dissing' here? I didn't say you couldn't use it. I just said that it was slang. That's OK in situations where slang is acceptable. I wouldn't say it, for example, to the Queen of England or in a job interview or in a college essay.

Since you've decided to start being disrespectful to Barbaro again, I have a
question for you. When are you going to write your column defending
Michael Vick?

Best wishes, Clive

Re: Please, lookthrough my essay, and make some comment about the contents.

julielai — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 02:55:44 GMT

Try fixing the parts in red first then...

T_nattawat wrote:

Topic: How movies or television influence people's behavior? Use reason and specific examples to support your answer.

   What type of media has the greatest influence on people's behavior? Surely, the only answer would be television. This is because television is everywhereâschools, malls, hospitals, and even in rural areas. People can get access to news and information easily. The influence of television can be ~~in a~~ good ~~way~~ such as promoting morals among people. Unfortunately, sometimes it could be as bad as spreading propaganda. In order for viewers to avoid the bad influences, they should realise how television can influence people's behavior. There are three main aspects for this; mental behavior, role model, and propaganda.
   Firstly, television can have such an effect on people's mind. Television directors often play music along with message (awk) they want to pass on to the viewers. This makes the message more interesting and can ~~effectively~~ attract people's attention. Music, according to ~~many~~ scientific research, can affact human mind and mentality greatly. It can make people feel relaxed, happy, or even cry. Many movies have such an effect. For example, a lot of people especially ladies (punctuation) sometimes cry when they watch a drama. (What is your point though? This is neither good or bad. It depends on how it is used)

Please correct my draft

Anonymous — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:23:11 GMT

This essay is about analyzing the images and/or symbols in "Two Kinds" by Amy Tan. Please correct structure and mechanics (punctuation and run-ons). Thanks.

In the short story, there are images of disaster. For example, when she was playing the piano, the author described it by saying her hands were âbewitched.â She does not have any control over her hands. Therefore, she cannot correct the mistakes she makes. Thus, she cannot stop herself from failing. Moreover âbewitchedâ generally means something bad is going to happen. There are more images of disaster in the text. For instance, when the author walks back to her seat, she mentions that she is aware of eyes âburningâ into her back. The word âburningâ indicates that the way people were looking at her was as if she had committed a crime. They were looking at her the same way they look at a criminal walking in court. Furthermore, after the show was over, all the people were coming up at her âlike gawkers at the scene of an accident.â This shows us that the authorsâ failure that day was a disaster. Her disaster was so terrible, itâs almost like when a person dies in an accident. Thatâs the way the people at the show were treating her.

There are many images of fake hope present in the story as well. For example, Amyâs mother talked about âAmericaâ being the land of hopes. The land where wishes come true; where dreams take place. However, in reality this isnât the case. We can still find problems that exist elsewhere in âAmerica.â

We can find images of prodigy in âTwo Kinds.â For example, when the daughter first started taking piano lessons, she âpicked up the basics pretty quickly.â The fact that she learned âpretty quicklyâ indicates that she had talent in her. She did not put too much effort into learning, yet she seamlessly âpicked up the basics.â This clearly shows that she can become a prodigy and make her mothers dreams come true. Additionally, when she played the song more than twenty years later, she was âsurprised at how easilyâ the notes came back to her. Her talent wasnât affected by the twenty years of not playing. She was âsurprisedâ herself at how well she was playing. Usually, even the professionals need some practice time if they hadnât played for a while. But she didnât. Not only did she remember how to play the song but she also played it better than the previous times. Moreover, when she started playing the piano again, she played the song âPleading Childâ and after that she played âPerfectly Contented.â The titles of these two songs represent the two states she went through. âPleading childâ was when she was nine. She didnât want to learn how to play the piano back then and always argued with her mother. âPerfectly Contentedâ is the state she is in right now, because she is in agreement with her mother and she is happy with what she has. The titles of the two songs both start with the same initials âP. C.â This reveals that they are closely related to each other. The author moves on from the state of the first song to the state of the next. In the same way, these two songs come one after another. This author confirms this when she says âI realized they were two halves of the same song.â

Throughout the story, we have images of laziness. For instance, during her piano lessons, the author learned that she could be âlazyâ and get away with âlots of mistakes.â This reveals that the author was not self motivated and did not want to put any effort into becoming a prodigy. Instead, she expected herself to instantly change in between day and night. This reflects the mothers wrong belief that in âAmericaâ you could become âinstantly famous.â This sentence influenced the author in a bad way, leading her to just fool around waiting for her prodigy rather than put an effort into changing herself. Another example of laziness occurs when the author was practicing for the show. She âdawdledâ over the piece she was to play. A âsimpleâ piece that âsounded more difficult than it was.â The word âdawdledâ indicates again, the laziness of the author. âSimpleâ is used here to emphasize on the authorâs total lack of effort. She seamlessly âpicked up the basicsâ yet, she wasnât able to memorize a âsimple song.â

URGENT: Require someone to check punctuation and usage of spelling.

Vaz — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:43:06 GMT

Hi folks,

I've writte an essay which I have to submit tommorow. I would like to have someone check it through for usage of words (such as: their, there) & punctuation. I do not want to publish it online so I have not posted it here. If somebody has a few extra minutes today please contact me.

Please either send me your details or message me through the "email" link
Thanks

Re: please help with a college essay

Mister Micawber — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 23:22:18 GMT

I am not going to rewrite your essay for you, Pressey--you only learn by doing. Change the underlined parts, delete the crossed-out parts, and revise to make the essay smooth (some of my deletions affect the grammar and punctuation of the rest of their sentences).

Re: Please correct me with the essay

Mister Micawber — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 08:51:15 GMT

1) What should I replace my work with?-- No title is required for TOEFL essays; if you need a title, it should announce to the reader the topic of your essay.

2)
the parentless children-- these are not previously mentioned or specific children
make their lives better -- what English word means 'make...better'?
people (why did you underline here?). -- What word is more specific?
measure I will(why did you underline here?). -- Only one measure? And verb form is not consistent.

3)
normally(why did you underline here?).-- Orphanhood is normal??
lead miserable lives due to(why did you underline here?).-- Strictly, 'due to' is an adjective; use a synonym.
the lack of education and materials (why did you underline here?). -- wrong word
However, before we did all the (why did you underline here?).-- wrong verb form
A charity fund might well be operated(why did you underline here? Can I replace it with "opened?") -- Yes, wrong word; use 'opened' or a synonym.
make them pay at all costs(why did you underline here?).-- Idiom is wrong here, and redundant: taxes are mandatory by nature
The tax can be fluctuating(why did you underline here?).-- wrong verb form
It's time the government... emphasize the essay, why would you say it was extraneous?-- That is not emphasis; it is beside the point; the essay is about what you would do, not what the government should do

4)To sum up, I-the governor(why did you underline here?).-- Wrong punctuation, new title, unnecessary appositive
Everyone bears in their minds(why did you underline here?) - the idiom is incorrectly formed
that even orphans have the(why did you underline here?).--no previous mention, no specificity

NOTE: If you want to continue this revision, please post a clean, revised copy for my review, Belly.