Search results for 'tag:Essays tag:Tenses' matching tags 'Essays' and 'Tenses'

please delete, i can't find an edit button

mountain — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 08:55:52 GMT

Hello teachers and helpers, I would appreciate if someone could proofread my essay because I think I have problem in shifting tense. I may so use the wrong tense for some of the sentences that I'm not aware. Please help me if you have time. Thank you

Elledanceworks Dance Company presented "ELLEven", as directed by Ronelle Eddings and Michele Hanlon on Saturday, June 21st, 2008, 8PM at the Bath House Cultural Center in Dallas, TX. The dance concert is presented as part of the 11 years of presenting dynamic, physical and engaging modern dance. The concert featured some eleven pieces of modern dance. All eleven dances were choreographed by Elledanceworks Company. Four of those works were by the director Ronelle Eddings and three by Michele Hanlon. "ELLEven" started right after the stage lights dimmed.

    The initial piece was titled "Jade" comprised of four women, choreographed by Ronelle Eddings, and performed by Tiffanee Arnold, Emily Boyd, Amy Dillard, and Tracy Kennedy. The performance opened with a motionless in different postures, gradually split apart, resulted in flowing, and continuous movement. The movements varied from sometimes high intensity and sometimes quiet and thoughtful. The music also played an important role as to how the dancers performed. While watching the piece, I was thinking to myself it is best if it could stay like this forever because I felt very relaxed, peaceful, and carefree and I know once the concert is over, I have to face the reality of hard work and deal with the difficulties in life.

    The program moved to "Two Mothers" which comprised of two sections and is dedicated to adoptive families and birth families. The first section was choreography by Ronelle Eddings and performed by Tiffanee Arnold and Melissa Thompson. The second section was choreography and performed by Eddings and Hanlon. It opened with two dancers standing apart from each other. When the music played, they slowly moved toward each other and right when they heard the slit drum they separated. The work ended with two dancers hugging each other. This piece reminded me of how my aunt has helped my sister and I come to America four years ago. She not only helped us came to American for a better life but she also provided us a place to stay and all the necessities that we have now. To me, she is not merely my aunt but I considered her as a lovely mother.

    All of the eleven pieces were excellent but I think the one that stands out most was "Two Mothers" because in order to make such a dance effective, the dancers needed to be perfectly synchronized with each other and coordinated well with the music and which they were. The dancers dressed with white, sleeveless shirt, black capri pants, and hair tied back. The lighting was dimmed with three different colors which I think coordinated well with the dance. The music matched with the theme and dance style and the volume was perfect. Overall, I was very pleased with the dancers' performance and collaborating artists.

    Elledanceworks Dance Company has put tremendous time and effort in order for the concert to end so well. The lighting was excellent for all the dances, it was very much part of the dance, guiding the audience eyes and never taking over the space. Though the lighting was excellent, I thought some transitions that relied on lighting did not serve that well. The costumes fitted the dancers perfectly and it does not get on their way when performing. The stage did not need any dÃ©cor because it was not necessary for the type of dance. All the dances seemed well performed especially the "Two Mother".

    This was actually the first dance concert I ever went to and I liked them all. If I have a chance, I would definitely attend to one of these again and would bring a friend along. For this type of dance, I think teenagers or adults from 16 year old or above or people who enjoy dances are appropriate for the concert. I do not think people at younger age could feel or understand the expression that the dancers try to deliver. The concert kept me busy and entertains so I did not feel bored at all. The time were well utilized throughout the concert, it was not too short or too long.

    For the most part the dances were entertaining and well performed. The concert was visually stunning with talented dancers and artists. What struck me about the work in this concert was the agility of the dancers, aesthetics, and synchronization in order to cultivate an art form. The music made it an effort to keep the audience like myself engaged in the piece. The lighting was excellent, it reveals what needs to be seen, and hides what needs to be invisible. The concert ended with a big applause and the audience walked with a smile on their faces.

Re: Please help me check my grammar.

julielai — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:51:48 GMT

I've highlighted a few things for you to fix. I'm not sure what you're trying to say in your essay. If this is a movie review, then you should focus on the movie and not dancing in general.

mountain
I wrote this essay last night and I know I shift tense a lot, just don't know what to correct any more. Please help me if you have time. Thank you

"Save the Last Dance 2" is a movie that depicted a young girl who has always dreamed of becoming a famous ballerina dancer since she was a little kid. In order for her dream to become reality, Sara has put tremendous time and effort to reach her dream. After high school, she got accepted to Juilliard School in New York city, which is one of the world's premier performing arts conservatories ~~located in New York City~~. As she became a famous ballerina dancer, she ~~later~~ discovered another dance style called "Hip-Hop" with the help of Miles Sultuana. She then realized that her life is not just about ballet and she has been perfecting someone else's step instead of defining her own.

I believe in today's society, music has a huge impact on teenagers, especially hip-hop and rap. While watching the movie, I found Candy's dancing style ~~was~~ distracting and unpleasant to watch because she keeps on sticking her chest out while battling with Sara. Although the song lyrics say "stick your chest out, roll it on the ground" I did not believe it was necessary to follow exactly what the lyrics said. If Candy is a creative dancer, she should not try those kinds of moves. I felt that ~~most~~ hip-hop and rap music is a bad choice for teenagers ~~to listen to~~ because most of them talk about sex, girls, money, and drugs which may lead to sexual activity, violence, and bad behavior. Hip-hop and rap not only influence the way teenagers act but also the way they dress. (not related to the review)
I saw a couple of break dancing moves in the movie that I thought were great. One of the dancers did a pose by positioning his body upside down with his hands pushing his body up and his legs curved on the side. That move requires a lot of strength. Another dancer did a head spin move which I thought was also great. He started out slowly and suddenly increased his speed by twisting his legs together and put a quick spin on his legs. This dancing style was very popular in the late nineties. I remember when I was in middle school, a lot of kids including myself were practicing break dance to battle with another kid or crew. Not only was it fun to practice but it also helped us to strengthen our bodies and be more agile.

Re: Fragmented sentences

Delmobile — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 04:24:15 GMT

I mean starting out an essay in one tense and switching to another, sometimes in the same paragraph. It's fine in a colorful story about tossing your grandma's cornstarch in a dumpster, but not in a formal analysis of, oh, Russian propaganda techniques during the second World War.

Re: Fragmented sentences

New2grammar — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 04:03:51 GMT

Delmobile
New2G, be careful - my teenagers frequently get into trouble with their school essays when they can't stay in one tense.

I don't really understand why native speakers will get into trouble for switching tenses. Isn't it part of everyday speech which is why they do tense switching in their essays in the first place?

I understand that even native speakers make spelling mistakes and occasional subject-verb agreement mistakes. But I don't think I've heard or seen any native speaker make tense mistakes. Oh..it's very likely because I don't know tense switching well enough. Could you give an real world example of a tense switching mistake committed by a native? I don't believe they woudl say "Yesterday, I see a man" or I graduate last year"

Sorry, If I'm asking a lot.
Thanks in advance.

Re: Fragmented sentences

Delmobile — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 03:50:56 GMT

Wow, all those posts while I was crafting my wonderful example!

GG, what a hysterical story. I'm sure Grandma was cracking up right along there with you.

Yes, the tense switching back and forth is tricky, but it can be so effective. Many modern authors (at least it seems like many to me) write in ALL present tense, which for some reason I cannot stand. I just can't relax and enjoy the story. But a little dose of it here and there, as GG says, does put you right into the cornstarch-exploding picture.

New2G, be careful - my teenagers frequently get into trouble with their school essays when they can't stay in one tense.

Please help me check my grammar.

mountain — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 16:47:01 GMT

I wrote this essay last night and I know I shift tense a lot, just don't know what to correct any more. Please help me if you have time. Thank you

"Save the Last Dance 2" is a movie that depicted a young girl who has always dreamed of becoming a famous ballerina dancer since she was a little kid. In order for her dream to become reality, Sara has put tremendous time and effort to reach her dream. After high school, she got accepted to Juilliard School which is one of the world's premier performing arts conservatories located in New York City. As she became a famous ballerina dancer, she later discovered another dance style called "Hip-Hop" with the help of Miles Sultuana. She then realized that her life is not just about ballet and she has been perfecting someone else's step instead of defining her own.
I believe in today's society, music has a huge impact on teenagers, especially hip-hop and rap. While watching the movie, I found Candy's dancing style was distracting and unpleasant to watch because she keeps on sticking her chest out while battling with Sara. Although the song lyrics say "stick your chest out, roll it on the ground" I did not believe it was necessary to follow exactly what the lyrics said. If Candy is a creative dancer, she should not enforce those kinds of moves. I felt that most hip-hop and rap music is a bad choice for teenagers to listen to because most of them talk about sex, girls, money, and drugs which may lead to sexual activity, violence, and bad behavior. Hip-hop and rap not only influence the way teenagers act but also the way they dress.
I saw a couple of break dancing moves in the movie that I thought were great. One of the dancers did a pose by positioning his body upside down with his hands pushing his body up and his legs curved on the side. That move requires a lot of strength. Another dancer did a head spin move which I thought was also great. He started out slowly and suddenly increased his speed by twisting his legs together and put a quick spin on his legs. This dancing style was very popular in the late nineties. I remember when I was in middle school, a lot of kids including myself were practicing break dance to battle with another kid or crew. Not only was it fun to practice but it also helped us to strengthen our bodies and be more agile.
Dancing is one of the most difficult, disciplined, and beautiful art forms. Not to say other dancing styles are not difficult but out of all the dancing styles in the movie, I thought ballet is truly the most difficult type of dance to accomplish. Classical ballet takes a lot of strength and agility and yet it is supposed to look simple. I thought the last performance that Sara performed at Juilliard was the best ballet in the movie. The performance, costumes, dim lighting, and music were perfect. The costumes that the ballerinas wear is perfectly fitting them because it does not get in their way while performing and it warms their muscles to help them work more efficiently.
I think ballet seems to click when all elements like costumes, scenery, and the way it is filmed come together. I thought the music, dim lighting, costumes, performance, audiences, and the ambience that were there when Sara performed her ballet dance at Juilliard was perfect. Dancing took not only dancers to complete the piece. But it took choreographers, lighting designers and operators, musicians, and many other talented people who almost never get the recognition they deserve to complete the piece. Ballet was not only an art but I felt it was trying to tell a story which many dancing styles lack.
I usually don't watch this kind of movie but "Save the Last Dance 2" is definitely a movie I would rent again and I recommend to those who love, dislike, or are clueless about dancing to watch this movie so they know how much sacrifice and dedication the dancers devoted their time to master the art. I felt that the movie is appropriate for almost all ages except for the intimate bedroom love scene between the two lead characters which was unnecessary. Other than that, there is no harsh or foul language. I enjoyed the movie very much and plan on renting the original "Save the Last Dance" to compare the two. I wanted to know more about Mile and Sara's past so I thought the movie was kind of short.
Sara has lost her mom when tragedy strike but she has not given up her dream to become a famous ballerina. She continued to pursue her dream and discovered another art that she loved dearly and does not know which way to turn then she realized that she cannot live without both. People have different reasons to why they dance; some may dance to help co-ordination, strength, stamina, flexibility, balance, etcâ¦, dancing does mostly benefit you. By dancing, you may meet lots of people from different walks and find out more about other people's culture other than your own. Dancing is not for everyone but if you devote your time and effort into anything you love, you definitely will be rewarded at the end.

Re: Money to live, or live to money?

Mister Micawber — Mon, 05 May 2008 23:03:19 GMT

.
I have underlined some problem areas:

I appreciate if you could let me know the mistakes I am sure I made somewhere in the essay below.I felt the time really changed when I watch a TV program about the salary of various occupations. Today, peoples care a lot about money because food/gas prices are risen up but salaries are stay the same or lowered.Even for the childrenâs show that introduces various jobs mentioning the average salary of todayâs occupation at the end of the program, which had been considered rude and improper when I was a child. Collapse of the communism brought us kind of an idea âpursuing money is justiceâ, I can not totally agree with the idea when listing the news of suffering people because of the risen food price and the speculation made the price crazy. . I am not a communist, and also value the importance of the money since I am living this era.However, I believe money is not the most important, but just a method to pay our daily bills and helps our dream come true, not the dream itself.Flour and butter prices are risen up, bad news for the sweet teeth like me.

Good ideas, but you need to work on verb tenses especially.

Re: Please correct my narrative essay

sandie_bummie — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 07:17:24 GMT

thank you for ur time correcting my essay..i will try my best to correct it..i always have struggle on tenses...

i will posted my correct later..thankz

Re: Help me please.

julielai — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 14:13:20 GMT

You need to fix the part in red.

Anonymous
Ok... so basically I need to do a five paragraph essay (Paragraph model?) by analyzing 3 quotes from this a passage I read "No name woman" by Maxie Hong Kingston. I'm just having trouble with a few things... some I understand, and others I don't. I tried fixing some errors that I made.. (ie: spelling, grammar). This is just the a 2nd draft. I would apprcieate some help and tips. Thanks in advance!
This is what I need help with:

-Verb Tense

`Unpacking language of quotes -Introducing all quotes fully

-Run on sentences?

         No Name Woman

            Maxine Hong Kingston begins to learn the story of her aunt who in the story is known as âNo Name Womanâ. Kingstonâs mother begins in the first passage, warning her to not tell anyone what she is about to say, referring to the story of her aunt. She explains that the aunt was Kingstonâs fatherâs sister, who killed herself in the family ~~well~~, but thereâs no mention of her at all, because it is as if she had never been born. The aunt brought shame to the family. She became a disgrace to the village, because the ~~action of~~ adultery committed. As a result of that, she ended up with an unwanted pregnancy. This caused so much commotion with the villagers, who were enraged, and raided the family house. The villagers destroyed and broke their possessions, wanting to get rid of the aunt from their community; because the villagers did not permit the coupleâs breaking tradition. As a child, Kingston did not fully understand this part of her Chinese culture. She starts making up her own stories. As an adult, Kingston looks back at her childhood years, to understand the story and her culture.

            Roughly around the age of 12, Kingston starts receiving warnings, and semi-threats from her mother about any unwanted pregnancies. Kingstonâs mother sets the aunt as an example. The mother says:

"Don't let your father know that I told you. He denies her. Now that you have started to menstruate, what happened to her could happen to you. Don't humiliate us. You wouldn't like to be forgotten as if you had never been born. The villagers are watchful;" (325)

The mother warns young Kingston, and talks about the aunt who brought disgrace to the family. Kingston is being guided, not to fall in the wrong path as her aunt did. The mother warns her at this moment, because it is the moment Kingston goes into a new stage of life that she must go through carefully (be specific). The mother wants Kingston to learn the values of her culture, traditions, and the people she represents. She describes that the villagers are watching (watching whom?), because they are a community who stick together as a group. It is part of their culture, having private lives is a dishonor to the culture. (doesn't make sense) The aunt dishonored it, by having a baby without a father. The mother is preventing young Kingston from bring shame to the family again. ~~Kingstonâs mother told stories~~

            Adult Kingston remembers when her mother use to tell her stories to warn her about life, and the realities ~~that existed~~. ~~She would tell stories, to teach Kingston morals.~~ Kingston explains:

âWhenever she had to warn us about life, my mother told stories that ran like this one, a story to grow up on. She tested our strength to establish realities. Those in the emigrant generations who could not reassert brute survival died young and far from home. Those of us in the first American generations have had to figure out how the invisible world the emigrants built around our childhoods fit in solid America.â (325)

Adult Kingston discusses ~~about~~ the emigrants who were struggling with poverty, and moved to America. This was the old generation, who struggled with survival. The emigrants re-assert themselves with the new life; some endure (tense) brute survival. Poverty was an issue in old China. The new generation is growing in America. China was the âinvisible worldâ for ~~most that was part of~~ the new generation. Kingston they never been there, but only hear stories about it. ~~America was solid, because~~ the new generation was adapting to new changes. Kingston wanted to uncover more of this Chinese cultural history.

            As an adult, Kingston starts to question if her aunt is really guilty~~, to commit such an act,~~ ~~which would lead to her own demise~~. Kingston searches for answers, because the stories only seem to confuse her. She did not fully understand the Chinese cultural as a child, because she is part of the new generation. This leads Kingston to form her own perspective of the story that her mother had told. She starts rewriting the story in her own words, and her own point of view. Kingston thinks:

âAdultery is extravagance. Could people who hatch their own chicks and eat the embryos and the heads for delicacies and boil the feet in vinegar for party food, leaving only the gravel, eating even the gizzard lining--could such people engender a prodigal aunt? To be a woman, to have a daughter in starvation time was a waste enough. My aunt could not have been the lone romantic who gave up everything for sex. Women in the old China did not choose. Some man had commanded her to lie with him and be his secret evil. I wonder whether he masked himself when he joined the raid on the family.â (326)

Adult Kingston does not believe that her aunt gave up everything for adultery. She questions, and thinks how cruel the villagers are towards the aunt. Kingston describes her aunt as a âprodigal auntâ ~~meaning she is yielding profusely~~. She questions, if a human being is capable of bringing a newborn to this world, and then getting rid of it without any remorse. She realizes that ~~in Chinese culture, woman had no right to rule, because they had to obey the rules set by the husband. We~~women in that time ~~of Chinese culture~~ did not have a choice because they had to obey their husbands. Kingston wonders if the man responsible for impregnating her aunt wasnât man enough to try to be responsible. She also believes the man might have been responsible for organizing the raid in the first place. Kingston, somehow wanted to defend her aunt. She tries to analyze the possible reasons behind her aunt's unwanted pregnancy~~, in~~ which dishonored her entire family.

            Kingston as an adult, finally realized her aunt was not fully guilty. The aunt ~~went through injustice, and~~ was the victim of rape. While the entire society rejected her aunt, Kingston honored her aunt instead. The motherâs aim was to warn young Kingston, not to humiliate the family by making the same mistake as her aunt did. The motherâs aim also had another purpose, in which she wanted to show the values of her culture, traditions, and making Kingston a better person in life~~, without any disruptions~~. Kingston as an adult reflects back on what she has learned from her mother, and her unnamed aunt. She has also discovered the world that was once invisible to her.

Help me please.

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:44:07 GMT

Ok... so basically I need to do a five paragraph essay (Paragraph model?) by analyzing 3 quotes from this a passage I read "No name woman" by Maxie Hong Kingston. I'm just having trouble with a few things... some I understand, and others I don't. I tried fixing some errors that I made.. (ie: spelling, grammar). This is just the a 2nd draft. I would apprcieate some help and tips. Thanks in advance!

This is what I need help with:

-Verb Tense

`Unpacking language of quotes -Introducing all quotes fully

-Run on sentences?

No Name Woman

Maxine Hong Kingston begins to learn the story of an aunt, in which she is known as âNo Name Womanâ. Kingstonâs mother begins in the first passage, warning her to not tell anyone what she is about to say, referring to the story of her aunt. She explains that the aunt was Kingstonâs fatherâs sister, who killed herself in the family well, but thereâs no mention of her at all, because it is as if she had never been born. The aunt brought shame to the family. She became a disgrace to the village, because the action of adultery committed. As a result of that, she ended up with an unwanted pregnancy. This caused so much commotion with the villagers, who were enraged, and raided the family house. The villagers destroyed and broke their possessions, wanting to get rid of the aunt from their community; because the villagers did not permit the coupleâs breaking tradition. As a child, Kingston did not fully understand the way of her Chinese culture. She starts making up her own stories. As an adult, Kingston looks back at her childhood years, to learn the identity of the story, and go deeper with her cultural history.

Roughly around the age of 12, Kingston starts receiving warnings, and semi-threats from her mother, to avoid any unwanted pregnancies. Kingstonâs mother sets the aunt as an example. The mother says:

"Don't let your father know that I told you. He denies her. Now that you have started to menstruate, what happened to her could happen to you. Don't humiliate us. You wouldn't like to be forgotten as if you had never been born. The villagers are watchful;" (325)

The mother warns young Kingston, and sets an example from the aunt who brought disgrace to the family. Kingston is being guided, not to fall in the wrong path as her aunt did. The mother warns her at this moment, because it is the moment Kingston goes into a new stage of life that she must go through carefully. The mother wants Kingston to learn the values of her culture, traditions, and the people she represents. She describes that the villagers are watching, because they are a community who stick together as a group. It is part of their culture, having private lives is a dishonor to the culture. The aunt dishonored it, by having a baby without any father present. The mother is preventing young Kingston from bring shame to the family again. Kingstonâs mother told stories

Adult Kingston remembers when her mother use to warn her about life, and the realities that existed. She would tell stories, to teach Kingston morals. Kingston explains:

âWhenever she had to warn us about life, my mother told stories that ran like this one, a story to grow up on. She tested our strength to establish realities. Those in the emigrant generations who could not reassert brute survival died young and far from home. Those of us in the first American generations have had to figure out how the invisible world the emigrants built around our childhoods fit in solid America.â (325)

Adult Kingston discusses about the emigrants who were struggling with poverty, and moved to America. This was the old generation, who struggled with surviving life. The emigrants re-assert themselves with the new life; some endure brute survival. Poverty was an issue in old China. The new generation is growing in America. China was the âinvisible worldâ for most that was part of the new generation. Kingston they never been there, but only hear stories about it. America was solid, because the new generation was adapting to new changes. Kingston wanted to uncover more of this Chinese cultural history.

As an adult, Kingston starts to question if her aunt is really guilty, to commit such an act, which would lead to her own demise. Kingston searches for answers, because the stories only seem to confuse her. She did not fully understand the Chinese cultural as a child, because she grew up in the new generation. This leads Kingston making up her own perspective of the story that her mother had told. She starts remaking the story in her own words, and her own point of view. Kingston thinks:

âAdultery is extravagance. Could people who hatch their own chicks and eat the embryos and the heads for delicacies and boil the feet in vinegar for party food, leaving only the gravel, eating even the gizzard lining--could such people engender a prodigal aunt? To be a woman, to have a daughter in starvation time was a waste enough. My aunt could not have been the lone romantic who gave up everything for sex. Women in the old China did not choose. Some man had commanded her to lie with him and be his secret evil. I wonder whether he masked himself when he joined the raid on the family.â (326)

Adult Kingston does not believe that her aunt gave up everything for adultery. She questions, how cruel the villagers are towards the aunt. Kingston describes her aunt as âprodigal auntâ meaning she is yielding profusely. She questions, if a human being is capable of bringing a newborn, and then getting rid of it without any remorse. She realizes that in Chinese culture, woman had no right to rule, because they had to obey the rules set by the husband. Women in that time of Chinese culture did not have a choice. Kingston wonders if the man responsible for impregnating her aunt wasnât man enough to take hold of his responsibilities. She also believes the man might have been responsible for organizing the raid in the first place. Kingston, somehow wanted to defend her aunt. She tries to analyze the possible reasons behind her aunt's unwanted pregnancy, in which dishonored her entire culture.

Kingston as an adult, finally realized her aunt was not fully guilty. The aunt went through injustice, and was the victim of rape. While the entire society rejected her aunt, Kingston honored her aunt instead. The motherâs aim was to warn young Kingston, not to humiliate the family by making the same mistake as her aunt did. The motherâs aim also had another purpose, in which she wanted to show the values of her culture, traditions, and making Kingston a better person in life, without any disruptions. Kingston as an adult reflects back on what she has learned from her mother, and her unnamed aunt. She also discovered the world that was once invisible to her.