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social justice issue essay

sandie_bummie — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 05:45:33 GMT

hi! i need to write essay about social justice issue, and my topic is "marriage". can somebody help me check my grammarm verb tense and proofread it for me. thanks in advance i really appreciate it..

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Social Justice âMarriageâ

Marriage is a custom which can be found in every human culture. Although the forms and rules are differ. Marriage is a form of commitment between man and woman. It is a legal recognized relationship by a religious ceremony between man and woman who intent to live together as sexual and domestic partners. It is can also an arrangement between families whereby parents create a kind of business transaction in order to maintain family status and level. Modern marriages become more complicated today due to social justice issue such as homosexual marriage and divorce.

Arrangement marriage used to be common in the ancient world and it is still practice in most countries today especially to those high power and status families. Parents have control over their childâs happiness. They will one who will choose and decide to whom their child going to marry. For the sake of family status and power they sacrifice their own childâs happiness. Freedom and happiness have been taken out from their children. Arrangement marriage is also a form of solemn promise between two families. My parent married was arranged but they opting for love marriage. Even though they donât love each other, but at least they know each other for long time. They try to accept and love the one another and now they live happily with six children in a comfortable living. This kind of marriage arrangement is good because both families know each other very well. But not for others, they donât even know who their going to marry. They cannot see the appearance and personality until the wedding day. Marriage means people marrying for love and live rest of their life for the person their love. Unfortunately, marriage is just a primary union which made good economic sense and in order to solidify political alliances.

Modern people are pushing the trend toward amorality same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage has been top debate issue in our political and society today. Even higher Supreme Courts take action about this matter. Majority people are opposing about same-sex marriage or gay marriage, especially in religious groups. They insist that marriage is between one man and on woman. They been taught this way and it was written in Holy Bible for many thousand years. As a Christian myself, I have been taught by pastors, church members and family that there only two gender that God created. Gay is considering a moral sin. Although, I have been taught that way but I never look down on gay people. I have big respect for them, it is not their choice to be gay it happen from their own will. They also human have the right to choose who they want to married. I support gay civil union for gay couples, but it doesnât mean that I support gay marriage. Marriage has been union of one man and one woman in all human cultures throughout human history. It has been the standard custom in many cultures for several thousand years. Unfortunately, the definition of marriage today is radically different from what it was several thousand years ago. Same-sex marriage destroys the definition of marriage, because it no longer represents the inherently procreative relationship of opposite sex pair bonding.

Marriage was born from primitive cultures that recognized that males and females mated and as a result produced children that needed to be cared for. Unfortunately, the rates of files divorce increasing rapidly especially in United State. Many people filing divorce because the relationship is not going well. In the first place they didnât know what is marriage really means. They just though that the intimate love between two people are enough to get married. It is more than that; it is more on responsibility and sacrifice. It is an idea couples committing for life and raising children together and sharing the struggles of survival. Divorce is the most stressful event that affects family especially on children. Children may feel a great loss and as well as anxiety and sadness. Back in hundred years ago, divorce cases are very rare. Even the love between both parents is gone; they still stay together for the sake of their children. Parent divorce made a big impact on children, from old saying that âchildren learn what they liveâ is very true. Parent is childrenâs role model, whatever parent do the children will imitate it. Children of divorced parents perform more poorly in school. They also are more likely to repeat a grade and to have higher drop-out rates and lower rates of college graduation. It is really big impact for our society; federal government spent more money on school because higher repeat grade. Marriage is foundation of family. However, the foundation is getting weak and higher consumption for singles.

The meaning of marriage is differs from one person to another, from time to another. In ancient times, marriage is a form condition where women most treated as a property for men. Historically period, marriage is permanent institution that once entered cannot be dissolved beside death. Romantic love has been made the most important basis for marriage. Marriage is also a commitment and agreement of both men and women. Certainly, in the modern world, the meaning of marriage is become more complicated. Marriage is primary union which made good economic sense. People are pushing the trend into an amorality society. Same-sex couples are pursuing the right to be married. Unfortunately, a legal recognition didnât allow same-sex to be married, it will change the meaning of marriage extremely differ. In addition, higher divorce rates many children will not be raised in a traditional family unit. The meaning of marriage never define, it is changing as the times change. As society changes, the institution of marriage changes as well.

Nabokov to be discussed

Fandorin — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 10:46:22 GMT

Hi friends. I would like if you check out my mistakes and advice sentences to be changed in order to get better. Thank in advance.

I started my acquaintance with poetry of Alexander Nabokov , as it seems strange, from the novel Luzhin's Defence. Usually the one starts reeding a novel Lolita and then reads another ones. Everyrhing seems to happen spontaneously. I don'eteven suspect as far as this book makes me think , although I get used to the chess.Before reading I know that Nabokov wrote down this novel, borrowing image from Alexander Alekhine, the great Russian chess player. Honestly, I got very interested about Alekhin, he was very creative and talented one, and his style of playing was amazing. Moreover, having extended inside his biographers' essay and found myself in the atmosphere of his games, which played with tremendous simplicity, excitement and those gave no chances to his opponents at once. All of that showed extraordinary beauty and strength of the chess and I took an interest in this novel with new power. But let me be consecutive.

Vladimir Nabokov, thÑ poet-emigrant, was referred to pleiad of poets, who went through fire and water in epoch of revolution.And that left its unique mark in his works. Nabokov was born in 1899 in St.Petersburg, got home education and in 1919, left Russia with his family and moved to London, and more late in Berlin. His father, Vladimir Nabokov, died in 1922 who was prominent politician and stressed (stood out against background of his liberal views) with his liberal looks (views). He defenced his opponent with his chest, historian Milyutin, in whom the terrorist' bullet was shot. It affected so much on the Nabokov's attitude towards politics that he tried to be far away from it as he could. He finished his graduate in that year in Cambridge, where he was studying an entomology. He got passion on it from his childhood. He met Vera Slonim in Berlin, the woman, who had his heart till the end of his life. He devoted his books to her alone. The son Dmitry was born in 1934, the future opera singer. Nabokov moonlighted in a different way: giving english and french lessons, tennis, making up chess' tasks and puzzles. The real material independence was given by his novel "Lolita", which was discussed hotly, and sometimes it make me laugh,, however the cohesive rows of american poets boycotted it and that left unpleasant smell. American poets called this novel ,written in english, a pornography. At first it had been published in France, and in 1958 the novel saw the light in USA and became a bestseller at once. Improving state og Nabokov made it possible to move in Montre, Switzerland. As a lot of poets-emigrant Nabokov had no permanent place to live and kepr going in the hotels. Nabokov died in 1977, 12 July.

Nabokov is very amazing poet. Having started his action in 1916, he had his collected stories published and he claimed himself to be a peculiar writer. Bunin wrote about him: "This urchin dpulled out the gun and laid everyone,me included... " His creative work, especially mature stories, joined the ranks of beautiful poems. Many writers received his culture, his style and image of writing. There were enemies (opponents) of his works. However there were no one who could say Nabokov to be an talantless. The Nabokov's prose is high-poetical. It fascinates, pierces through mind, makes one think about the real content of things. One of the most point in his works is appeal to the inner world of a human, to his soul, to his creative origin. The writer attempts to get inside the main point and shows the personal's wealth. The many writers supposed that it caused by Nabokov's sympathy for the wealthy. However, it's absolutely wrong. His heroes right are the most common people, but their simplicity tends to be reffered to social status. Such course of work can be explained by empathising with fates of nationales, who found themselves abroad. The word existence is the most suitable one to describe emigrants' living because their life is filled with a poorness,desperate and suicide. In many novels we can find the challenge to the society and limitless desperate in which the heroes leave. What is the assasin rendered for killing emigrant? The deep undesranding and approvement of the cop ("The King"). With which was emigrant paid for sympathy and love for native? There are beating and disdain. ("The cloud, lake and the tower"). What does mild person make to rise atrocity in another one? He shows the unwillingness to take herd instinct one's pshychology ("Invitation to the execution"). The broken fates rise in every work Nabokov had. And one of the shining examples is the "Luzhin defence". Indeed, there is some kind of a lyric song about loneliness of the soul, emptiness, cruelty, lie and pragmatism in his works. It's just a novel which shows the revealing of the questions Nabokov worried about. Luzhin's image is a contrast example of combination with genius and simplicity, estrangement and reticence. The way Nabokov narrates is very cheerful and it is a complicated game of words beyond which the sympathy toward personality hides out. But the same way Gogol made, Nabokov tries to conceal this note of sympathy more deep. There is just a sameness with a classical Russian culture.
Luzhin was being learned to be the same as other was and his father worried about that and urgently wanted to find out the reason of his son's apathy to the whole world. Unfortunately father never found it out. Cohesion of the pupils, having place in the school as a rule, just made this strange boy scare away. He was always finding the secluded corner to hide. Solitude and reticence are the way to avoid the problems. However, there is something in the inner world of Luzhin that isn't affected by despondency. The beatufil day became, and Luzhin remembered that for the whole life and it defined his fate. It was a board, having left on the table. And the boy is absorbed in this amazing and ancient game with a whole his talent and a soul. There was something in those 64 two-colored squares, something revealed him a world of the secrets and beauty of the ancient Indian game and he found out that, as it seemed, he lacked and the light faded before enigmatic combinations. Neither absence in school, nor old jew's death, nor parents' reproaches couldn't make his talent and finally fatal passion stop. Nabokov seems to write in very callous way but there is an inner Luzhin's world concealed, the whole harmony of his talent and wish. Just a few years passed through, Luzhin became an GM and moved abroad. Suddenly the "obliging" man appeared - Valentinov who is ready to help and offered protection. Later he wrote down the letters to Luzhin's parents, convincing them there is a wide area for his son's talent to realize and always repeating the phrase "we are friends - we get even with all". There is no suddenness Nabokov chose his image. Another way to show the "Russian soul" of Nabokov to reveal the infamy and lucre of Valentinov's image. What's about women? There is only a woman who can fall in love with that unhappy and defenceless man. She didn't find neither GM nor man, who can make a profit for her. She liked his shyness. She liked to take care of him. His awkwardness made her more cute about him. She is really into him, his hands, eyes, the way he's moving are pleasant for her. She could keep enjoying the way he painted small things, the way he read and slept. Reading through the novel, we could see the temper is peculiar to a russian, sympathy and love brought together. It's said noone can puts builds love on the sympathy. But it was nothing for her and she married him, not losing a hope, she would make him divert from fatal game, the gambit of which would be his life.
At first there were a whole world of something new and undiscovered - a literature, poems, german papers' notices, walking, wife's attention. He really enjoyed it, trying to forget his game against Thuratu which would lead to the nervous breakdown and medical treatment in the clinic. The love was becoming more strong the time passed away. She walked with him, finding a lot of ways to distract him from his obsession, realizing in chess. However, fatal moment appeared in their life seemed to be improving.
All started from Luzhin's find. The old chessboard which was in his lining from time immemorial. He had found it and tried to hide it away in scary just for the wife not to find it out. But cruel mechanism of hidden human's subconsciousness started its job. It's said the genious is almost the same schizophrenia is. He lost his slepp, trying to guess game of many moves of the life, and the time passed he realized the prize was his life. The only calmness he found is in the night, when everything was gone and he hoped he had time to deliberate his last move. The last point was appearing of Valentinov, offering to being shot in film, devoted to chessmaster, and Luzhin would play against Thurati.. Frightened, he lunged out of the office and run away without stop, and suddenly he realized his position and his consciousness deliberated a reply. Running he was hurrying to decide what's going on and what the answer should be to solve this. Having locked in his room, he found the salvation, being found on fearful circumstances, time, places and the most important - on his weak consciousness, low spirit and logic, which lodged all his mind-squares with exactness and estimation. And the end was scaring:
"Now his legs were hanging out the window and there was only a need to let his grasp slacken and it seems for him to be rescued. Befory doing that, he glanced beneath. There was a fast preparation - rhe reflects of windows was gathering together,the chasm was falling apart on dark and light squares,and in the moment he slackened his hands, icy air gushed out into his mouth and he realized which chasm exactly opened its embrace with such a hospitality."

Re: Please correct my essay thanks my friends!!

26TMNTJG2PG — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 15:49:12 GMT

Dipsik
Still, I donÂ´t think ellipsis entitles you to omit a suffix that logically belongs to a word in a particular sentence.

You seem to have learned or come across some rule/s how ellipsis should work.

Now, look at the following two adjoining sentences taken from a reference book compiled/contributed/edited by twelve experts in English, about half of whom are PhD holders:-

"Even the experienced writer, to whom all the tricks and pitfalls are second nature, loses concentration at his peril. For the inexperienced writer, all the more so."

If the second sentence is made to stand on its own not because of ellipsis, please advise for my enlightenment.

If it is, does it conform to the rule/s you have learned or come across?

Personal Essay for Medical School Help!

Anonymous — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:56:35 GMT

Please help, I need an honest and thorough critique and advice on my essay. This essay needs to be up to par with medical school admission board. I would like to thank all in advance for your help, send critique to [Personal contact info removed by a mod. Please add it to your profile.]

I remember when mom divorced dad; she was bombarded with heart and liver disease that hindered her from having a secured financial future. With no healthcare and financially insecure, my brothers and I did the best we could to survive and support mom. I am the youngest of three siblings. Both older brothers were finishing college and working part time. As for me, I felt that financially, it was not enough, in addition to no healthcare. At the time, I was in my second year of college pursuing a biology degree. So I decided to postpone my dreams of becoming a doctor, which steams from family tradition, my great grandfather was a medical doctor and his dad was too. So I left to join the army. The army was the quickest and safest route to secure a financial future and superb healthcare for my family. In addition, I wanted to give back to the US the opportunity it gave my parents at the end of the Vietnam War. The army offer numerous career opportunities and bonuses, and required no experience or degrees, but only a good ASVAB score, which I had. I also wanted a career that has less to do with the use of weaponry. This led me to become a healthcare specialist, an unlicensed nurse in the military. The career path took me many places, from the famous BAMC burn unit to Emergency Room of the Army Germany Hospital that supported IRAQ freedom soldiers and their dependents. I have worked with family physician, orthopedic surgeons, and osteopathic phyician. The four years I spent in the Army Medical Corp has reinforce the idea of becoming a physician. But one day stood out among others, it was a routine 13 hour shift in the ER, it was around 2200 hours during the end of independence day weekend, while inserting an iv catheter into the patientâs arm whom was admitted for dehydration, suddenly, I heard a scream from the waiting area, from that point on the department was bombarded with a barrage of patients from cardiac complication to minor lacerations. During this time, the hospital itself was short staffed because most of the doctors left the military to pursue a higher paying civilian job and others went to IRAQ. The ER only had 1 doctor at the time and one civilian nurse and 2 healthcare specialists like myself. I did the best to help but limited to my licenses and scope. It was overwhelming, that day, all our beds were critical. The waiting room was chaos, high rankings officer, as well as, civilian dependents demanded care, but with one doctor, the ER could only do so much. Towards the morning, things calm down quite a bit, the doctor and nursing staff managed to care the most for most patients and sent some minor severity patients away to other ERâs. At the end of my shift, I sat in the locker room, the experience help me realize my true calling. All over the world, there are unattractive places that are lacking physicians, it could be the salary or the area, that deter physicians away and towards more higher pay and affluent areas such as the city. I will be one of those few physicians that will take on this challenge to go against the norm. From that day, I started to take night and online classes needed to apply to medical school and finish my degree. When I wasnât fulfilling my military obligation during the day, I would catch up on my studies. However, the road in life is never straight, sometimes there are surprises. I fell in love, got married, and help gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, what I thought was a hindrance, turn out to be fuel. Days and nights studying for my prerequistite, my wife was there to cook/clean/reassured and cheered me on. Late nights while studying, seeing my childâs smile as he sleeps made me realize that I need to finish my career, so I can provide a good home with little to no financial hardship that my son can keep on smiling and pursue his goals without any hindrance. My time has come.

Re: were it never so many times Platoâs and Shakspeareâs

Marius Hancu — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 14:57:16 GMT

Also, this is by Professor Teuber of Brandeis:

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Emerson calls Plato's work the bible of educated people, claiming that it is "impossible to think, on certain levels, except through him." Swedenborg saw, and stands for, the interconnectedness of human beings and nature. Shakespeare and Goethe exemplify and stand for the power to express, to convert life into life-giving words. Emerson ends each essay with a review of the shortcomings of the subject. Plato is too literary, not enough the prophet. Swedenborg is over-whelmed by a private and rigid symbolism his reader cannot fully share. The effect of these negative conclusions is to prevent the reader from idolizing or enthroning Plato, Swedenborg, or any other great person. The great ones are of interest to us only because each has something to teach us, and it is the present reader, the student, and not the great writer or teacher whom Emerson really cares about. Each great representative figure "must be related to us, and our life receive from him some promise of explanation." So the praise of Goethe, whom Emerson seems to have admired above all writers, is for such things as the creation of Mephistopheles in Faust (1808-1832). In order to make the devil real, Goethe "stripped him of mythologic gear, of horns, cloven foot, harpoon tail, brimstone and blue-fire, and instead of looking in books and pictures, looked for him in his own mind, in every shade of coldness, selfishness, and unbelief that, in crowd or in solitude, darkens over the human thought." Thus Goethe reimagines Mephistopheles: "He shall be real; he shall be modern; he shall be European; he shall dress like a gentleman." The result, says Emerson, is that Goethe "flung into literature, in his Mephistopheles, the first organic figure that has been added for some ages, and which will remain as long as the Prometheus."

http://people.brandeis.edu/~teuber/emersonbio.html

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Re: New Idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tanit — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:57:03 GMT

Hi and welcome to the forums!
You can write a short paragraph and post it in the general grammar forum or an essay and post it here, in the writing forum. There are a lot of native speakers here (some of whom are also teachers) who will have a look at it, make corrections and give suggestions. Some learners might want to offer their opinions, as well.
You will probably be asking, "How much do I have to pay for that?" Nothing!!!
No classrooms or given topics, though. Choose a topic and post your writing.

Re: Internet- could you please check this essay out. Thank you!

Anonymous — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:31:53 GMT

Hi Julielai,

I appreciate your comment.
I break yp my first paragraph as you mentioned.
There should be too much mistakes that difficult to point out, sorry about it.

The widespread use of the internet has brought us advantages, and disadvantages. Easy access to the world and information is very useful, though, this reaches unwelcome information.

People tend to get together with same interest and opinion, feels comfortable to tale talk with someone who agree with you, which make you confident you are right and sometimes the opinion goes too far from the world average. Internet can be used to express yourself like though blog. In some blog, they just complain their wife/husband in the diary but never said their feeling to whom they should talk that other than anyone else. If you are expressing themselves in blog just to stress out and write to face the problem or write to helps calm down and think it by themselves, or asking other people opinion to solve the problem, these are fine and positive. Though, if they are just running away from the reality and just complaining, the problem never to be solved. One day during the internet surfing, the blog I found is that one house wife is sick and feel disease and canât do any house works, complaining her husband asked why she do not do anything. The sentence is so long, I guess she spend more than a hour for that and updating so often, I think she can do some souse works while typing the complaints. In the comments section, I was surprised to see that all the comments are saying feel sorry for her and how bad the husband is. I did not write any comment for it, I just start seeing blogs and never comment to any blogs yet, that is why.

I believe main problem associated with the usage of the tendency to get together of the people of same opinion and make a very limited inner society but believes this is the whole world opinion. To avoid this situation, balance is bevy important, take balance of the real friend and blog friend, also their opinion. Don not only listen to comfortable messages to you, but severe messages, this is important.

Internet- could you please check this essay out. Thank you!

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 22:59:55 GMT

The widespread use of the internet has brought us advantages, and disadvantages. Easy access to the world and information is very useful, though, this reaches unwelcome information. People tend to get together with same interest and opinion, feels comfortable to tale talk with someone who agree with you, which make you confident you are right and sometimes the opinion goes too far from the world average. Internet can be used to express yourself like though blog. In some blog, they just complain their wife/husband in the diary but never said their feeling to whom they should talk that other than anyone else. If you are expressing themselves in blog just to stress out and write to face the problem or write to helps calm down and think it by themselves, or asking other people opinion to solve the problem, these are fine and positive. Though, if they are just running away from the reality and just complaining, the problem never to be solved. One day during the internet surfing, the blog I found is that one house wife is sick and feel disease and canât do any house works, complaining her husband asked why she do not do anything. The sentence is so long, I guess she spend more than a hour for that and updating so often, I think she can do some souse works while typing the complaints. In the comments section, I was surprised to see that all the comments are saying feel sorry for her and how bad the husband is. I did not write any comment for it, I just start seeing blogs and never comment to any blogs yet, that is why.

Re: Could anyone lookthrough my Illustration Essay? "The Impossible Peace"

Chibi — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:18:17 GMT

Sorry, there's a problem with the former posted entry!

There Is No "Together" In Jerusalem

For Jews and Muslims, Jerusalem has been a city of hope and loss. It has been their homeland but also their battlefield. Its history has been filled with great joy but also with tragedy. In Hebrew, the name "Jerusalem" literally means a "city of peace" Ironically, people there have not seem such thing for a long time.(people there have not seem to live in harmony for ages) There have been numbers of peace plans to settle this conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians but not even one has succeeded everything has failed to succeed); occasionally, they have even worsened the situation (U should write this clause as a separated sentence). One of the most well-known solutions is the Oslo Accord, the first official agreement signed by the leaders of both sides. It was first seen as a (the) hope to the end of the conflict (âto end the conflictâ is better) that (so that) they would live peacefully together in a bi-national state. Yet ( However â in written language, it is better not to start a sentence with Yet/ But), some groups did not accept it and launched a series of suicide bombings. This accord is now viewed to have brought more hatred and violation to the area. Nevertheless, there are still many attempts. It seems that they could live together peacefully since they are similar in many ways regarding their religions and ancestor.(try another expression Ã better) However, after carefully examined (examining) current situations and history, one (U mean who?) has to admit that they will never co-exist (word choice?) peacefully in this common area. It is due to their beliefs that Jerusalem belongs only to them and no one else. (I think the use of pronounce is not clear here. âTheyâ & âtheirâ mean who: Jews or Muslims?) Furthermore, they hate each other so much that they will never want to live together.

The first reason why two-state solution is impossible (be impossible to do sth) is because (Ã that) they believe that (omit this word) all areas of Jerusalem belong to only their people*. From the Jewish perspective, they have all the rights over this land due to God's will as well as their long close connection to it. According to the Bible, four thousands years ago, God promised that he will give Abraham, father of all the Jews, and his children the land of Canaan, or what is (omit) now the capital of the State of Israel. Since then, Jewish people have been waiting for that day to come (omit). The word "Jerusalem" is repeatedly mentioned several times in their daily prayers as well as in many special occasions, for instance, the Passover(Spiro, 2000). In addition, this area had once been under the reign of Jewish kings who had ruled for hundreds of years and built the first Jewish temple in this area. This temple has been the focus of (I guess a problem with word choice here) Jewish people around the world. They regard it as "the house of the Lord"(Bible in Spiro, 2000) and the direction (word choice, again?) in which they say their prayers to. If there is a place on earth that all Jews are willing to sacrifice their lives for, it would be this very place. A Jewish mayor once stated that this land represents, "the purist expression of all that Jews prayed for, dreamed of, cried for, and died for"(Pipes, 2001).
Conversely, from the Palestinian perspective, they are blessed people who deserve the rights over to this holy place, not the cursed Jews. In the Koran, Jerusalem is said to be blessed. It was where Prophet Muhammed was taken up to heaven and met other Prophets(Spiro, 2000). The significance of it had been emphasized several times by Prophet Muhammed himself through his teachings. He stated that it is where a single act of worship is equal to a thousand, and whoever die there or near by would directly go to heaven(Soufan, n.d.). These have made it one of the three holiest place in Islam. Furthermore, in the Koran, while Muslims are regarded to be the most prestigious group of people, Jews are the opposite, "cursed and condemned"(Abbadi, n.d.). Thus, as it is required in Muslim faith, it is their duty to protect a religious site from being contaminated by those corrupted people and bring the holy place back to the right owners.
The second reason two-state solution is impossible is because of the prolonged aversion that they will never agree to live with their enemies. In the last eight years, approximately 5,000 Palestinians have been killed with (Ã and) more than 33,000 have been injured(Palestine Red Crescent, 2008). The causes were mostly due to shootings as well as tear gas. (try another expression here) Many of the others have been forced to leave their home making approximately 4.4 millions Palestine refugees around the world now(United Nations, 2008). Owing to the loss of ones they love and the harshness of dispersing, hatred has developed. Their expression (word choice?) of hatred has been from incitement of violation to suicide bombings. Terribly, those who carried those horrors (repetition should not be occur) were of all ages including young children. In school textbooks, Israel is described to be “a country of gangs, born in crime"(Israel Ministry, 2001) with Jews who are "arrogant and sly traitors"(Israel Ministry, 2001). These are what all children in Palestinian school have been educated, or to be more accurate, "brainwashed." Not to mention the impacts from family and society in which those children have been raised. Thus, hatred has been deepening (deepened) in all Palestinian hearts both of this generation and the coming generation.
In responding to Palestinian violence, Israel has established a military force and checkpoints to limit the number of Palestinians coming to Israel. The primary objective was to prevent terrorists. However, the presence of humiliation during the search, suffering from long waits at checkpoints, and soldiers' attacks on innocent civilians, has only brought more hatred among them(The Nation, 2008, p. 9A).

It is ironic that a supposed city of peace is actually the most contentious (word choice) city on earth. Numerous peace plans have been made but then were collapsed. The hatred between Israelis and Palestinians has been strongly expressed though violation, and each has clearly stated that they are the only group whom Jerusalem belongs to. This contention has accumulated over a long period of time and it is getting worse. It is useless to force them to live together. No such plans have ever worked and will never work. At least they have given it a try, nevertheless. There is always a light in the dark, I believe. When the darkness disappears, the light would shine. Even though I have concluded that the Jews and Palestinians will never co-exist together in Jerusalem, I always wish that I have been wrong. Let the light shine and the city of peace becomes real. * If I were u, I will express like: Firstly, two-state solution fail to succeed because they believe that all areas of Jerusalem belong to only their people.

Re: Could anyone lookthrough my Illustration Essay? "The Impossible Peace"

Chibi — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:07:08 GMT

I have no ideas about the content or the organization of focused points. I just have some suggestions on word choices, expressions and grammar. The highlighted lines include possible problems and the red words are my suggestions to improve the writing.

Hope that it'll be useful!

There Is No "Together" In Jerusalem

For Jews and Muslims, Jerusalem has been a city of hope and loss. It has been their homeland but also their battlefield. Its history has been filled with great joy but also with tragedy. In Hebrew, the name "Jerusalem" literally means a "city of peace" Ironically, people there have not seem such thing for a long time.(Ã people there have not seem to live in harmony for ages) There have been numbers of peace plans to settle this conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians but not even one has succeeded (Ã everything has failed to succeed); occasionally, they have even worsened the situation (U should write this clause as a separated sentence Ã be clearer). One of the most well-known solutions is the Oslo Accord, the first official agreement signed by the leaders of both sides. It was first seen as a (Ã the) hope to the end of the conflict (âto end the conflictâ is better) that (Ã so that) they would live peacefully together in a bi-national state. Yet (Ã However â in written language, it is better not to start a sentence with Yet/ But), some groups did not accept it and launched a series of suicide bombings. This accord is now viewed to have brought more hatred and violation to the area. Nevertheless, there are still many attempts. It seems that they could live together peacefully since they are similar in many ways regarding their religions and ancestor.(try another expression Ã better) However, after carefully examined (examining) current situations and history, one (U mean who?) has to admit that they will never co-exist (word choice?) peacefully in this common area. It is due to their beliefs that Jerusalem belongs only to them and no one else. (I think the use of pronounce is not clear here. âTheyâ & âtheirâ mean who: Jews or Muslims?) Furthermore, they hate each other so much that they will never want to live together.

The first reason why two-state solution is impossible (be impossible to do sth) is because (Ã that) they believe that (omit this word) all areas of Jerusalem belong to only their people*. From the Jewish perspective, they have all the rights over this land due to God's will as well as their long close connection to it. According to the Bible, four thousands years ago, God promised that he will give Abraham, father of all the Jews, and his children the land of Canaan, or what is (omit) now the capital of the State of Israel. Since then, Jewish people have been waiting for that day to come (omit). The word "Jerusalem" is repeatedly mentioned several times in their daily prayers as well as in many special occasions, for instance, the Passover(Spiro, 2000). In addition, this area had once been under the reign of Jewish kings who had ruled for hundreds of years and built the first Jewish temple in this area. This temple has been the focus of (I guess a problem with word choice here) Jewish people around the world. They regard it as "the house of the Lord"(Bible in Spiro, 2000) and the direction (word choice, again?) in which they say their prayers to. If there is a place on earth that all Jews are willing to sacrifice their lives for, it would be this very place. A Jewish mayor once stated that this land represents, "the purist expression of all that Jews prayed for, dreamed of, cried for, and died for"(Pipes, 2001).
Conversely, from the Palestinian perspective, they are blessed people who deserve the rights over to this holy place, not the cursed Jews. In the Koran, Jerusalem is said to be blessed. It was where Prophet Muhammed was taken up to heaven and met other Prophets(Spiro, 2000). The significance of it had been emphasized several times by Prophet Muhammed himself through his teachings. He stated that it is where a single act of worship is equal to a thousand, and whoever die there or near by would directly go to heaven(Soufan, n.d.). These have made it one of the three holiest place in Islam. Furthermore, in the Koran, while Muslims are regarded to be the most prestigious group of people, Jews are the opposite, "cursed and condemned"(Abbadi, n.d.). Thus, as it is required in Muslim faith, it is their duty to protect a religious site from being contaminated by those corrupted people and bring the holy place back to the right owners.
The second reason two-state solution is impossible is because of the prolonged aversion that they will never agree to live with their enemies. In the last eight years, approximately 5,000 Palestinians have been killed with (Ã and) more than 33,000 have been injured(Palestine Red Crescent, 2008). The causes were mostly due to shootings as well as tear gas. (try another expression here) Many of the others have been forced to leave their home making approximately 4.4 millions Palestine refugees around the world now(United Nations, 2008). Owing to the loss of ones they love and the harshness of dispersing, hatred has developed. Their expression (word choice?) of hatred has been from incitement of violation to suicide bombings. Terribly, those who carried those horrors (repetition should not be occur) were of all ages including young children. In school textbooks, Israel is described to be “a country of gangs, born in crime"(Israel Ministry, 2001) with Jews who are "arrogant and sly traitors"(Israel Ministry, 2001). These are what all children in Palestinian school have been educated, or to be more accurate, "brainwashed." Not to mention the impacts from family and society in which those children have been raised. Thus, hatred has been deepening (deepened) in all Palestinian hearts both of this generation and the coming generation.
In responding to Palestinian violence, Israel has established a military force and checkpoints to limit the number of Palestinians coming to Israel. The primary objective was to prevent terrorists. However, the presence of humiliation during the search, suffering from long waits at checkpoints, and soldiers' attacks on innocent civilians, has only brought more hatred among them(The Nation, 2008, p. 9A).

It is ironic that a supposed city of peace is actually the most contentious (word choice) city on earth. Numerous peace plans have been made but then were collapsed. The hatred between Israelis and Palestinians has been strongly expressed though violation, and each has clearly stated that they are the only group whom Jerusalem belongs to. This contention has accumulated over a long period of time and it is getting worse. It is useless to force them to live together. No such plans have ever worked and will never work. At least they have given it a try, nevertheless. There is always a light in the dark, I believe. When the darkness disappears, the light would shine. Even though I have concluded that the Jews and Palestinians will never co-exist together in Jerusalem, I always wish that I have been wrong. Let the light shine and the city of peace becomes real. * If I were u, I will express like: Firstly, two-state solution fail to succeed because they believe that all areas of Jerusalem belong to only their people.

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