Search results for 'tag:Football tag:Nouns' matching tags 'Football' and 'Nouns'

Re: Message from John Cleese

Anonymous — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 07:57:03 GMT

The response from the United States of America to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

Message from Her Majesty the Queen.

   â¢   Let us start with your header, the use of Majesty. Here is how it is derived: After the fall of Rome, Majesty was used to describe a Monarch of the very highest rank - indeed, it was generally applied to God. The title was then also assumed by Monarchs of great powers as an attempt at self-praise and despite a supposed lower royal style as a King or Queen, who would thus often be called "His or Her Royal Majesty." The first English king to be styled Majesty was Henry VIII.
   â¢   We can't stand people that think of themselves as Gods. And technically it would be Goddess in this case. "Goddess" have you even seen a picture of your queen.

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

   â¢   Yes we sure do elect some bad presidents but that is what you get when you stop inbreeding the "Royal" blood line and end up with nit wits like your son. We like to see change occur every once in awhile. It is expected that we will elect a bad one every now and again but we will just elect another president. You on the other hand are stuck with your nit wits.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she
does not fancy).

   â¢   "Monarchial duties", What is that? What does she do, exactly? Oh, I forgot. "Nothing" So we will gladly let her do her duties. We just won't pay her unless she does something useful. And it figures that she would not want Kansas, that is where a lot of strong pioneering women come from in our history. Pioneering implies that she must do something.

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America
without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you
noticed.

   â¢   Wow, you are a deluded country. If you have not noticed, "The People" rule here, Congress and the Senate just try to keep us happy so they can keep their jobs. And as for the questionnaire if we are happy, we will not notice. If we are not happy, and we do not have the congress or senate to blame, You Will Notice.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:

(You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

   â¢   So, you think that our authority was conferred to us by you. You gave us the rite to be the United States of America.
   â¢   You should pick up a history book, WE TOOK IT. We will let you know when we want to GIVE it back. Unless you think you can take it back. LOL. Like that would be possible, You can't defend yourselves let alone attack anybody. It might behoove you to remember. The only freedoms you have are the freedoms you can defend. We're Good. How about you?

1.Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

   â¢   noun, adjective Chiefly British - "We are Not British"

2.The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as "colour", "favour",
"labour" and "neighbour." Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut"
without skipping half the letters,? and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced
by the suffix '-ise'.? Generally, you will be expected to raise your
vocabulary to acceptable levels.? (look up "vocabulary").

OK, You are starting to sound like the French. Do you really want to be associated with the French?

3.Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such
as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let ***
know on your behalf. The *** spell-checker will be adjusted to take
into account the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of -ize.

   â¢   You still using Microsoft, we moved on to Apple, Linux, etc... And using "like" and "you know" is extremely efficient to educated people. For example; The British are becoming "like" the French. And that implies, "You know".
   â¢   See rather than write paragraphs the thought was expressed in a simple statement.

4.July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

   â¢   What, is it to embarrassing for you. I think we will keep it, unless you can take it. LOL

5.You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows
that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used
for
shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or
speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

   â¢   Nice try, but we can still kick your butts without the guns. They call our lawyers, sharks, for a reason. They eat their prey, go ahead take them on. Our therapists make them feel better after kicking your butts. And as far as only shooting grouse. If you didn't already kill every other animal in the forests that you no longer have, you might actually be able to go hunting. When is the last time you saw a deer in the woods in your country?

6.Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you
wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

   â¢   A vegetable peeler will be just fine. By the way do you grow potatoes, carrots, or anything that requires a vegetable peeler. Didn't think so, you have to "farm" for that. And that is just so beneath you. Just keep buying our food.

7.All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will
go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
tables.
Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense
of humour.

   â¢   Oh my God(Majesty), you are using that to better us. No wonder you lost your kingdom. Oh we have a "horse" if you want to sell your kingdom. We might even give you two horses.
   â¢   And we understand the British sense of humor. To laugh you must smile, to smile you must have nice "Teeth". "You Know"

8.The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

   â¢   Jealous? Remember that whole "No taxation without representation" thing. You should look into it.

9.You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips
are
properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and
dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

   â¢   For someone who "used" to have India, you think that you might have learned something about spices. All you got out of that era was vinegar. Come on, go through the Chunnel to France and start learning how to cook. If we take any criticism about our food it will have to come from France.

10.The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as
beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred
to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for
pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the
beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for
them.
American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that
all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

   â¢   Ok, Our beer sucks but if we are going to take criticism about it, Germany will have to do it.

11.Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English
characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four
Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed
with a cheese grater.

   â¢   Stick to Documentaries, your country is incapable of producing entertainment movies. You don't laugh, you don't cry, you don't feel, and you think that you can entertain a populace. It would be "akin" to watching black and white, silent movies. Again, go to France, India, Germany, even Japan. But in the end, I think it would be best if you just make Documentaries.

12.You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try rugby -
the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

   â¢   You just don't get entertainment. Yep, we Americans are going to go nuts over watching guys in shorts run around the field for 3 hours and maybe make a score. There might even be an upset match of 2-1. The excitement of it all has me watering at the mouth. And when we are done being thrilled by the game we can switch the channel to watch a bunch of guys piled on top of each other move around on the ground for another three hours. Look up sarcasm in the Oxford English dictionary.
   â¢   Don't worry though, an american can fix it. In soccer, you need to have more excitement. Switch the goalie to a girl and after each successful goal, that goalie must remove an article of clothing. No more of those 1-0 matches, from my figuring almost all matches will be, 10-9 or 10-8. Rugby is easy, just switch to girls, we will never turn the channel.

13.Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is under standable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.

   â¢   First get your facts straight, if you learned to do proper research, you would know that Toronto, as in the Toronto Blue Jays, is not with in our countries borders.
   â¢   Second, of course we know their is a world outside of our borders, we supply it with food, we keep it employed by buying its products, and we get a laugh at them when they try and criticize us.

14.You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

   â¢   Hell, we thought you did it. Come on you can tell us.

15.An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies
due (backdated to 1776).

   â¢   Ok, but you must pay all our Social Security benefits, Welfare Benefits, Wic Benefits, and government subsidies back dated to 1776. Want to call that one even? Else, you might owe us some money. We will send the lawyers over.

16.Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers,
and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus
strawberries (with cream) when in season.

   â¢   Ok that confirms it. You are pansies.

God Save the Queen!

   â¢   If you weren't paying attention, according to you, God is the Queen. Let her save herself. But if she did that you would have to call her an American.

PS: Go ahead and share this with your friends in the USA (those with a good
sense of humour and NOT humor.)

   â¢   PS. Go ahead and share this with your friends in the UK (those with a good sense of humor. oops my mistake, there are none) I would go on but, "You Know"

Re: Football / Ice hockey results and scores: How to write and talk

EagerSeeker — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 20:04:46 GMT

Old Man Gordon

Optilang-

Is that how it is said on sportscasts in England? The team uses a plural verb, even if the noun (England/Manchester United/etc.) is singular? In the US, we'd use the plural only when talking about the team name which is usually plural, eg The Yakees are losing./ New York is losing.

It gets confusing with the modern innovation of uncountable team names. The Detroit Shock is winning (are winning?).

That is interesting indeed and I agree with you Old Man Gordon. I am from Finland and according to my Finnish-English dictionary I should say "Finland is leading 2-0" without using the plural verb and
"The Finns are leading 2-0" when using a plural expression. But I guess this is just a difference between British and American English.

Re: Football / Ice hockey results and scores: How to write and talk

Old Man Gordon — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 18:28:42 GMT

Optilang-

Is that how it is said on sportscasts in England? The team uses a plural verb, even if the noun (England/Manchester United/etc.) is singular? In the US, we'd use the plural only when talking about the team name which is usually plural, eg The Yakees are losing./ New York is losing.

It gets confusing with the modern innovation of uncountable team names. The Detroit Shock is winning (are winning?).

Re: English from evolution perspective

Anonymous — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 04:38:40 GMT

hello it should be in this format, I begin to realize that natural language or human language is not just governed by a couples of rules or grammars, but as well as naturally formed rules through a period of time, cultures influences, regions and frequency of it being used. Compound noun (solid form, hypernated form, open form) president of Indonesia today's date apple juice house-builder football, goalkeeper, blackboard, housewife, wallpaper Those are adjectival noun, where noun act as an adjective. The arrangement(top to bottom) is in the order of ascending solid establishment. For example the "football" compound noun is more well- established than "apple juice". Maybe a few decades later people would say "Indonesia president", "today date", "apple-juice", "housebuilder". The meaning of noun-noun compound is always unique or different from its constituent words. Hence it might be difficult to build the overall meaning of the compound noun from its constituent nouns, or with compositional semantic method. I am thinking, to universalize the compound noun and it would be much simpler for NLP process, so how about transforming all those non-solid compound noun to the solid form ? such as Indonesiapresident todaydate applejuice housebuilder Any ideas, opinious in general way ? Thanks.

English from evolution perspective

Anonymous — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:33:51 GMT

I begin to realize that natural language or human language is not just governed by a couples of rules or grammars, but as well as naturally formed rules through a historical period of time, cultures influences, regions and frequency of it being used. Compound noun (solid form, hypernated form, open form) president of Indonesia today's date apple juice house-builder football, goalkeeper, blackboard, housewife, wallpaper Those are adjectival noun, where noun act as an adjective. The arrangement(top to bottom) is in the order of ascending solid establishment. For example the "football" compound noun is more well-established than "apple juice". Maybe a few decades later people would say "Indonesia president", "today date", "apple-juice", "housebuilder". The meaning of noun-noun compound is always unique or different from its constituent words. Hence it might be difficult to build the overall meaning of the compound noun from its constituent nouns, or with compositional semantic method. I am thinking, to universalize the compound noun and it would be much simpler for NLP process, so how about transforming all those non-solid compound noun to the solid form ? such as Indonesiapresident todaydate applejuice housebuilder Any ideas, opinious in general way ? Thanks.

Re: Clause!

Clive — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 21:23:08 GMT

Hi,

I have a question about clauses.

Halema'uma where the legendary Pele, Hawaiian goddess of fire, is said to live. (relative clause, as it defines Halema'uma???)Yes, it's a relative clause that is adjectival. I assume you know that this whole utterance is not a proper sentence, as it lacks a main clause.

I thought Pele was the Brazilian god of football .

and cools where is lands (adverbial clase, as it modifies verb cools?) The front part of this sentence fragment seems to be missing. Can you supply it to us? The words you have given us here make no sense. Are you sure you have no typos? eg should 'is' be 'it'?

It was where harmless fairy tale witches threw their eyes of newt and toes of frog. (I have no idea for that one. I doubt its a noun clause!!!) Why do you doubt that? It seems like a noun clause to me.

If you'll permit me to say so, you should get into the habit of checking your spelling after you type a post.

Best wishes, Clive

Re: I am having trouble with subject verb agreements

Doll — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 19:04:45 GMT

So dear why is your answer wrong if you chose leads ?

Anyway, this is a different dituation really. Sometimes you can both use colloective nouns as either singular or plural. For example:

Her parents are bad: Her mom and dad... Her parents is bad: WE mean both the mother and father. We don't think them personally.

Turkish football team are playing excellent football. All the members in the team are playing excellent football.

Turkish footbal team is playing excellent football. Here we condider team as a unit, as something whole.

Re: Please, help me with my questions !!!

Grammar Geek — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:01:07 GMT

Hello Muriel,

1) "Ms.Kate, a friend of her mother's...." (what is the meaning of her mother's here. Shouldn't it be "a friend of her mother or her mother's friend" ?)

This "double genative" is commonly used with people, and particularly in the construction in your example. "her mother's friend" is also fine.

2) What's the meaning of 'ever since' ? E.g.: Ever since he was in the army, he has studied hard;

From the time that... Dating back to the time when...

3) "He lives at 341 Bourboun street apartment 23" (in addresses must the word street be translated from a foreign language into English ? E.g.: In Spain street is 'calle'. In this case when I have to say my address in English do I translate the word 'calle' or not ? E.g.:

4) I live at 201 Cervantes calle apartment 101 (or) I live at 201 Cervantes street apartment 101 ? ;

Street should be capitalized -- it's the proper name of the street. I would leave it exactly as is. If someone lived at 221 Rue Charlemagne, I would not write it as "Charlemagne Street." As with any proper nouns, leave them as is, unless the entire phrase has its one translation, e.g., The United States = Les Etats Unis. Leave Street (capital S) as Street and calle as calle.

5) What do we call a organized group of soccer fans that goes to a stadium to watch a soccer/football match ? Is it called organized claque or organized supporters ?

I'm not familiar with this. Organized supporters sounds okay. For a rock band, they are called groupies, but I don't know what soccer fans are called.

6) People who stay outside a stadium trying to sell tickets at a higher price than at a ticket office, are they called street peddler of tickets ?

Scalpers. I don't have a ticket. That's okay - as long as you're willing to pay, I'm sure you'll find a scalper who can sell you one.

7) A special service in which the employees' service is to listen (by phone) to citizens general complaints, for instance, about the bad services offered at a stadium, is it called Ombusdman office ?

Ombudsman is indeed the name for such a service, but it's more commonly found (in my experience) in an organization paid for/supported by the patrons/clients, and not in private industry. The government student loan program has an ombudsman; your local bank has customer service. Also, a company can have an ombudsman to hear issues about ethics, etc., from employees. Still, a company can have an ombudsman for the general public if desired.

Re: Noun phrases

Grammar Geek — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 13:10:20 GMT

Yes Are ~~([or is??)~~ the following acceptable?

Passing exams IS important to me. Yes

Passing exams and enjoying college ARE important to me. Yes

Supporting the Dallas Cowboys IS importing to Matt and Greg Yes

Playing football and basketball MEANS a lot to Greg The next two depend if you think of the playing as the main verb, with two things to play, or if you think of playing football and playing basketball as a compound subject.

Playing football and playing basketball MEAN a lot to Greg

Re: Noun phrases

Anonymous — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 13:03:40 GMT

Hello again.

Are([or is??) the following acceptable...

Passing exams IS important to me.

Passing exams and enjoying college ARE important to me.

Supporting the Dallas Cowboys IS importing to Matt and Greg

Playing football and basketball MEANS a lot to Greg

Playing football and playing basketball MEAN a lot to Greg