http://www.englishforums.com/search/pro.htm?q=tag%3aFootball+tag%3aPronunciation+tag%3aRugbySearch results for 'tag:Football tag:Pronunciation tag:Rugby' matching tags 'Football', 'Pronunciation', and 'Rugby'en-USCSMOD (Build: 3273.32735)http://www.englishforums.com/English/MessageFromJohnCleese/gjzgp/post.htm#546905Sun, 27 Jul 2008 07:57:03 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:546905anonymousThe response from the United States of America to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth IIMessage from Her Majesty the Queen Let us start with your header the use of Majesty Here is how it is derived After the fall of Rome Majesty was used to describe a Monarch of the very highest rank indeed it was generally applied to God The title was then also assumed by Monarchs of great powers as an attempt at self praise and despite a supposed lower royal style as a King or Queen who would thus often be called His or Her Royal Majesty The first English king to be styled Majesty was Henry VIII We can t stand people that think of themselves as Gods And technically it would be Goddess in this case Goddess have you even seen a picture of your queen To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign MajestyQueen Elizabeth IIIn light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidatesfor President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves we hereby givenotice of the revocation of your independence effective immediately Yes we sure do elect some bad presidents but that is what you get when you stop inbreeding the Royal blood line and end up with nit wits like your son We like to see change occur every once in awhile It is expected that we will elect a bad one every now and again but we will just elect another president You on the other hand are stuck with your nit wits Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical dutiesover all states commonwealths and territories except Kansas which shedoes not fancy Monarchial duties What is that What does she do exactly Oh I forgot Nothing So we will gladly let her do her duties We just won t pay her unless she does something useful And it figures that she would not want Kansas that is where a lot of strong pioneering women come from in our history Pioneering implies that she must do something Your new Prime Minister Gordon Brown will appoint a Governor for Americawithout the need for further elections Congress and the Senate will be disbanded A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of younoticed Wow you are a deluded country If you have not noticed The People rule here Congress and the Senate just try to keep us happy so they can keep their jobs And as for the questionnaire if we are happy we will not notice If we are not happy and we do not have the congress or senate to blame You Will Notice To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency the following rulesare introduced with immediate effect You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary So you think that our authority was conferred to us by you You gave us the rite to be the United States of America You should pick up a history book WE TOOK IT We will let you know when we want to GIVE it back Unless you think you can take it back LOL Like that would be possible You can t defend yourselves let alone attack anybody It might behoove you to remember The only freedoms you have are the freedoms you can defend We re Good How about you 1 Then look up aluminium and check the pronunciation guide You will beamazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it noun adjective Chiefly British We are Not British 2 The letter U will be reinstated in words such as colour favour labour and neighbour Likewise you will learn to spell doughnut without skipping half the letters and the suffix ize will be replacedby the suffix ise Generally you will be expected to raise yourvocabulary to acceptable levels look up vocabulary OK You are starting to sound like the French Do you really want to be associated with the French 3 Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises suchas like and you know is an unacceptable and inefficient form ofcommunication There is no such thing as US English We will let know on your behalf The spell checker will be adjusted to takeinto account the reinstated letter u and the elimination of ize You still using Microsoft we moved on to Apple Linux etc And using like and you know is extremely efficient to educated people For example The British are becoming like the French And that implies You know See rather than write paragraphs the thought was expressed in a simple statement 4 July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday What is it to embarrassing for you I think we will keep it unless you can take it LOL5 You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns lawyers ortherapists The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists showsthat you re not quite ready to be independent Guns should only be usedforshooting grouse If you can t sort things out without suing someone orspeaking to a therapist then you re not ready to shoot grouse Nice try but we can still kick your butts without the guns They call our lawyers sharks for a reason They eat their prey go ahead take them on Our therapists make them feel better after kicking your butts And as far as only shooting grouse If you didn t already kill every other animal in the forests that you no longer have you might actually be able to go hunting When is the last time you saw a deer in the woods in your country 6 Therefore you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything moredangerous than a vegetable peeler Although a permit will be required if youwish to carry a vegetable peeler in public A vegetable peeler will be just fine By the way do you grow potatoes carrots or anything that requires a vegetable peeler Didn t think so you have to farm for that And that is just so beneath you Just keep buying our food 7 All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts and you will startdriving on the left side with immediate effect At the same time you willgo metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversiontables Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British senseof humour Oh my God Majesty you are using that to better us No wonder you lost your kingdom Oh we have a horse if you want to sell your kingdom We might even give you two horses And we understand the British sense of humor To laugh you must smile to smile you must have nice Teeth You Know 8 The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol which you have beencalling gasoline of roughly 10 US gallon Get used to it Jealous Remember that whole No taxation without representation thing You should look into it 9 You will learn to make real chips Those things you call French friesare not real chips and those things you insist on calling potato chipsareproperly called crisps Real chips are thick cut fried in animal fat anddressed not with catsup but with vinegar For someone who used to have India you think that you might have learned something about spices All you got out of that era was vinegar Come on go through the Chunnel to France and start learning how to cook If we take any criticism about our food it will have to come from France 10 The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actuallybeer at all Henceforth only proper British Bitter will be referred to asbeer and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referredto as Lager South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound forpound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to thebeer They are also part of the British Commonwealth see what it did forthem American brands will be referred to as Near Frozen Gnat s Urine so thatall can be sold without risk of further confusion Ok Our beer sucks but if we are going to take criticism about it Germany will have to do it 11 Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as goodguys Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play Englishcharacters Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in FourWeddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one s ears removedwith a cheese grater Stick to Documentaries your country is incapable of producing entertainment movies You don t laugh you don t cry you don t feel and you think that you can entertain a populace It would be akin to watching black and white silent movies Again go to France India Germany even Japan But in the end I think it would be best if you just make Documentaries 12 You will cease playing American football There is only one kind ofproper football you call it soccer Those of you brave enough will intime be allowed to play rugby which has some similarities to Americanfootball but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds orwearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies Don t try rugby the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you like they regularly thrash us You just don t get entertainment Yep we Americans are going to go nuts over watching guys in shorts run around the field for 3 hours and maybe make a score There might even be an upset match of 2 1 The excitement of it all has me watering at the mouth And when we are done being thrilled by the game we can switch the channel to watch a bunch of guys piled on top of each other move around on the ground for another three hours Look up sarcasm in the Oxford English dictionary Don t worry though an american can fix it In soccer you need to have more excitement Switch the goalie to a girl and after each successful goal that goalie must remove an article of clothing No more of those 1 0 matches from my figuring almost all matches will be 10 9 or 10 8 Rugby is easy just switch to girls we will never turn the channel 13 Further you will stop playing baseball It is not reasonable to hostan event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside ofAmerica Since only 2 1 of you are aware there is a world beyond yourborders your error is under standable You will learn cricket and we willlet you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of theirdeliveries First get your facts straight if you learned to do proper research you would know that Toronto as in the Toronto Blue Jays is not with in our countries borders Second of course we know their is a world outside of our borders we supply it with food we keep it employed by buying its products and we get a laugh at them when they try and criticize us 14 You must tell us who killed JFK It s been driving us mad Hell we thought you did it Come on you can tell us 15 An internal revenue agent i e tax collector from Her Majesty sGovernment will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all moniesdue backdated to 1776 Ok but you must pay all our Social Security benefits Welfare Benefits Wic Benefits and government subsidies back dated to 1776 Want to call that one even Else you might owe us some money We will send the lawyers over 16 Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups with saucers and never mugs with high quality biscuits cookies and cakes plusstrawberries with cream when in season Ok that confirms it You are pansies God Save the Queen If you weren t paying attention according to you God is the Queen Let her save herself But if she did that you would have to call her an American PS Go ahead and share this with your friends in the USA those with a goodsense of humour and NOT humor PS Go ahead and share this with your friends in the UK those with a good sense of humor oops my mistake there are none I would go on but You Know http://www.englishforums.com/English/MessageFromJohnCleese/zmlgz/post.htmThu, 21 Feb 2008 15:25:54 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:479847anonymous gt Britain is Repossessing the U S A gt gt A Message from John Cleese British comedian gt gt gt To The citizens of the United States of America gt gt gt In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President gt of the USA and thus to govern yourselves we hereby give notice of the gt revocation of your independence effective immediately gt gt Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties gt over all states commonwealths and territories except Kansas which gt she does not fancy gt gt Your new prime minister Gordon Brown will appoint a governor for gt America without the need for further elections gt gt Congress and the Senate will be disbanded gt gt A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of gt you noticed gt gt To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency the following gt rules are introduced with immediate effect gt gt You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary gt gt 1 Then look up aluminium and check the pronunciation guide You will gt be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it gt gt 2 The letter U will be reinstated in words such as favour and gt neighbour Likewise you will learn to spell doughnut without gt skipping half the letters and the suffix ize will be replaced by the gt suffix ise gt gt Generally you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable gt levels look up vocabulary gt gt 3 Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises gt such as like and you know is an unacceptable and inefficient form gt of gt communication gt gt There is no such thing as US English We will let Microsoft know on gt your gt behalf The Microsoft spell checker will be adjusted to take account gt of gt the reinstated letter u and the elimination of ize You will relearn gt your original national anthem God Save The Queen gt gt 4 July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday gt gt 5 You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns gt lawyers or therapists The fact that you need so many lawyers and gt therapists shows that you re not adult enough to be independent gt gt Guns should only be handled by adults If you re not adult enough to gt sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then gt you re not grown up enough to handle a gun gt gt 6 Therefore you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything gt more dangerous than a vegetable peeler A permit will be required if gt you gt wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public gt gt 7 All American cars are hereby banned They are crap and this is for gt your own good When we show you German cars you will understand what gt we gt mean gt gt 8 All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts and you will gt start driving on the left with immediate effect At the same time you gt will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of gt conversion tables gt gt Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British gt sense of humour gt gt 9 The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol which you have been gt calling gasoline roughly 6 US gallon Get used to it gt gt 10 You will learn to make real chips Those things you call French gt fries are not real chips and those things you insist on calling potato gt chips are properly called crisps Real chips are thick cut fried in gt animal fat and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar gt gt 11 The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually gt beer at all Henceforth only proper British Bitter will be referred to gt as beer and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be gt referred to as Lager gt gt South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the gt greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer gt They are also part of British Commonwealth see what it did for them gt gt American brands will be referred to as Near Frozen Gnat s Urine so gt that gt all can be sold without risk of further confusion gt gt 12 Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as gt good guys Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to gt play English characters gt gt 13 You will cease playing American football There is only one kind of gt proper football you call it soccer Those of you brave enough will in gt time be allowed to play rugby which has some similarities to American gt football but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds gt or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies Don t try gt Rugby the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you like they gt regularly thrash us gt gt 14 Further you will stop playing baseball It is not reasonable to gt host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played gt outside of America or Japan Since only 2 1 of you are aware that gt there gt is a world beyond your borders your error is understandable You will gt learn cricket and we will let you face the South Africans first to gt take gt the sting out of their deliveries gt gt 15 You must tell us who killed JFK It s been driving us mad gt gt 16 An internal revenue agent i e tax collector from Her Majesty s gt Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all gt monies due backdated to 1776 gt gt 17 Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups never gt mugs gt with high quality biscuits cookies and cakes strawberries in season gt gt gt God save the Queen gt gt gt Only He can gt gt gt John Cleese If at first you don t succeed skydiving is not for you T T http://www.englishforums.com/English/WhyAmericanEnglish/3/qjhd/Post.htm#81331Tue, 15 Mar 2005 08:40:12 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:81331guestTo the citizens of the United States of America In the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence effective today Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states commonwealths and other territories Except Utah which she does not fancy Your new Prime Minister The Right Honourable Tony Blair MP for the 97 85 of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections Congress and the Senate will be disbanded A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency the following rules are introduced with immediate effect 1 You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary Then look up aluminium Check the pronunciation guide You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it The letter U will be reinstated in words such as favour and neighbour skipping the letter U is nothing more than laziness on your part Likewise you will learn to spell doughnut without skipping half the letters You will end your love affair with the letter Z pronounced zed not zee and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise You will learn that the suffix burgh is pronounced burra e g Edinburgh You are welcome to re spell Pittsburgh as Pittsberg if you can t cope with correct pronunciation Generally you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels Look up vocabulary Using the same thirty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as uhh like and you know is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication Look up interspersed There will be no more bleeps in the Jerry Springer show If you re not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn t have chat shows When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won t have to use bad language as often 2 There is no such thing as US English We will let Microsoft know on your behalf The Microsoft spell checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter u and the elimination of ize 3 You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents It really isn t that hard English accents are not limited to cockney upper class twit or Mancunian Daphne in Frasier You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles While we re talking about regions you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England The name of the county is Devon If you persist in calling it Devonshire all American States will become shires e g Texasshire Floridashire Louisianashire 4 Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters British sit coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re cast and watered down for a wishy washy American audience who can t cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness 5 You should relearn your original national anthem God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1 We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through 6 You should stop playing American football There is only one kind of football What you refer to as American football is not a very good game The 2 15 of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football You will no longer be allowed to play it and should instead play proper football Initially it would be best if you played with the girls It is a difficult game Those of you brave enough will in time be allowed to play rugby which is similar to American football but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2006 You should stop playing baseball It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America Since only 2 15 of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders your error is understandable Instead of baseball you will be allowed to play a girls game called rounders which is baseball without fancy team strip oversized gloves collector cards or hotdogs 7 You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler Because we don t believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public 8 July 4th is no longer a public holiday November 2nd will be a new national holiday but only in England It will be called Indecisive Day 9 All American cars are hereby banned They are crap and it is for your own good When we show you German cars you will understand what we mean All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts You will start driving on the left with immediate effect At the same time you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour 10 You will learn to make real chips Those things you call French fries are not real chips Fries aren t even French they are Belgian though 97 85 of you including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe are not aware of a country called Belgium Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers 11 As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself 12 The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all it is lager From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near Frozen Gnat s Urine with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near Frozen Gnat s Urine This will allow true Budweiser as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic to be sold without risk of confusion 13 From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol or gasoline as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2006 prices with the former USA The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will in return adopt UK petrol prices roughly 6 US gallon get used to it 14 You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns lawyers or therapists The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you re not adult enough to be independent Guns should only be handled by adults If you re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you re not grown up enough to handle a gun 15 Please tell us who killed JFK It s been driving us crazy 16 Tax collectors from Her Majesty s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due backdated to 1776 Thank you for your co operation http://www.englishforums.com/English/SomeoneReadTellTheseStuffTrue/qgrd/post.htmFri, 11 Mar 2005 07:24:06 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:80345guestI READ THIS FROM OTHER WEBSITE AND PASTE IT HERE I HAVE NO CONNECTION WITH THIS MESSAGES To the citizens of the United States of America In the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence effective today Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states commonwealths and other territories Except Utah which she does not fancy Your new Prime Minister The Right Honourable Tony Blair MP for the 97 85 of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections Congress and the Senate will be disbanded A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency the following rules are introduced with immediate effect 1 You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary Then look up aluminium Check the pronunciation guide You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it The letter U will be reinstated in words such as favour and neighbour skipping the letter U is nothing more than laziness on your part Likewise you will learn to spell doughnut without skipping half the letters You will end your love affair with the letter Z pronounced zed not zee and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise You will learn that the suffix burgh is pronounced burra e g Edinburgh You are welcome to re spell Pittsburgh as Pittsberg if you can t cope with correct pronunciation Generally you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels Look up vocabulary Using the same thirty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as uhh like and you know is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication Look up interspersed There will be no more bleeps in the Jerry Springer show If you re not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn t have chat shows When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won t have to use bad language as often 2 There is no such thing as US English We will let Microsoft know on your behalf The Microsoft spell checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter u and the elimination of ize 3 You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents It really isn t that hard English accents are not limited to cockney upper class twit or Mancunian Daphne in Frasier You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles While we re talking about regions you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England The name of the county is Devon If you persist in calling it Devonshire all American States will become shires e g Texasshire Floridashire Louisianashire 4 Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters British sit coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re cast and watered down for a wishy washy American audience who can t cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness 5 You should relearn your original national anthem God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1 We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through 6 You should stop playing American football There is only one kind of football What you refer to as American football is not a very good game The 2 15 of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football You will no longer be allowed to play it and should instead play proper football Initially it would be best if you played with the girls It is a difficult game Those of you brave enough will in time be allowed to play rugby which is similar to American football but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2006 You should stop playing baseball It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America Since only 2 15 of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders your error is understandable Instead of baseball you will be allowed to play a girls game called rounders which is baseball without fancy team strip oversized gloves collector cards or hotdogs 7 You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler Because we don t believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public 8 July 4th is no longer a public holiday November 2nd will be a new national holiday but only in England It will be called Indecisive Day 9 All American cars are hereby banned They are crap and it is for your own good When we show you German cars you will understand what we mean All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts You will start driving on the left with immediate effect At the same time you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour 10 You will learn to make real chips Those things you call French fries are not real chips Fries aren t even French they are Belgian though 97 85 of you including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe are not aware of a country called Belgium Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers 11 As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself 12 The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all it is lager From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near Frozen Gnat s Urine with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near Frozen Gnat s Urine This will allow true Budweiser as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic to be sold without risk of confusion 13 From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol or gasoline as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2006 prices with the former USA The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will in return adopt UK petrol prices roughly 6 US gallon get used to it 14 You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns lawyers or therapists The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you re not adult enough to be independent Guns should only be handled by adults If you re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you re not grown up enough to handle a gun 15 Please tell us who killed JFK It s been driving us crazy 16 Tax collectors from Her Majesty s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due backdated to 1776 Thank you for your co operation