Search results for 'tag:Football tag:Vocabulary' matching tags 'Football' and 'Vocabulary'

Re: Message from John Cleese

Anonymous — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 07:57:03 GMT

The response from the United States of America to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

Message from Her Majesty the Queen.

   â¢   Let us start with your header, the use of Majesty. Here is how it is derived: After the fall of Rome, Majesty was used to describe a Monarch of the very highest rank - indeed, it was generally applied to God. The title was then also assumed by Monarchs of great powers as an attempt at self-praise and despite a supposed lower royal style as a King or Queen, who would thus often be called "His or Her Royal Majesty." The first English king to be styled Majesty was Henry VIII.
   â¢   We can't stand people that think of themselves as Gods. And technically it would be Goddess in this case. "Goddess" have you even seen a picture of your queen.

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

   â¢   Yes we sure do elect some bad presidents but that is what you get when you stop inbreeding the "Royal" blood line and end up with nit wits like your son. We like to see change occur every once in awhile. It is expected that we will elect a bad one every now and again but we will just elect another president. You on the other hand are stuck with your nit wits.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she
does not fancy).

   â¢   "Monarchial duties", What is that? What does she do, exactly? Oh, I forgot. "Nothing" So we will gladly let her do her duties. We just won't pay her unless she does something useful. And it figures that she would not want Kansas, that is where a lot of strong pioneering women come from in our history. Pioneering implies that she must do something.

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America
without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you
noticed.

   â¢   Wow, you are a deluded country. If you have not noticed, "The People" rule here, Congress and the Senate just try to keep us happy so they can keep their jobs. And as for the questionnaire if we are happy, we will not notice. If we are not happy, and we do not have the congress or senate to blame, You Will Notice.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:

(You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

   â¢   So, you think that our authority was conferred to us by you. You gave us the rite to be the United States of America.
   â¢   You should pick up a history book, WE TOOK IT. We will let you know when we want to GIVE it back. Unless you think you can take it back. LOL. Like that would be possible, You can't defend yourselves let alone attack anybody. It might behoove you to remember. The only freedoms you have are the freedoms you can defend. We're Good. How about you?

1.Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

   â¢   noun, adjective Chiefly British - "We are Not British"

2.The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as "colour", "favour",
"labour" and "neighbour." Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut"
without skipping half the letters,? and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced
by the suffix '-ise'.? Generally, you will be expected to raise your
vocabulary to acceptable levels.? (look up "vocabulary").

OK, You are starting to sound like the French. Do you really want to be associated with the French?

3.Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such
as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let ***
know on your behalf. The *** spell-checker will be adjusted to take
into account the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of -ize.

   â¢   You still using Microsoft, we moved on to Apple, Linux, etc... And using "like" and "you know" is extremely efficient to educated people. For example; The British are becoming "like" the French. And that implies, "You know".
   â¢   See rather than write paragraphs the thought was expressed in a simple statement.

4.July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

   â¢   What, is it to embarrassing for you. I think we will keep it, unless you can take it. LOL

5.You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows
that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used
for
shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or
speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

   â¢   Nice try, but we can still kick your butts without the guns. They call our lawyers, sharks, for a reason. They eat their prey, go ahead take them on. Our therapists make them feel better after kicking your butts. And as far as only shooting grouse. If you didn't already kill every other animal in the forests that you no longer have, you might actually be able to go hunting. When is the last time you saw a deer in the woods in your country?

6.Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you
wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

   â¢   A vegetable peeler will be just fine. By the way do you grow potatoes, carrots, or anything that requires a vegetable peeler. Didn't think so, you have to "farm" for that. And that is just so beneath you. Just keep buying our food.

7.All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will
go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
tables.
Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense
of humour.

   â¢   Oh my God(Majesty), you are using that to better us. No wonder you lost your kingdom. Oh we have a "horse" if you want to sell your kingdom. We might even give you two horses.
   â¢   And we understand the British sense of humor. To laugh you must smile, to smile you must have nice "Teeth". "You Know"

8.The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

   â¢   Jealous? Remember that whole "No taxation without representation" thing. You should look into it.

9.You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips
are
properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and
dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

   â¢   For someone who "used" to have India, you think that you might have learned something about spices. All you got out of that era was vinegar. Come on, go through the Chunnel to France and start learning how to cook. If we take any criticism about our food it will have to come from France.

10.The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as
beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred
to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for
pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the
beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for
them.
American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that
all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

   â¢   Ok, Our beer sucks but if we are going to take criticism about it, Germany will have to do it.

11.Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English
characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four
Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed
with a cheese grater.

   â¢   Stick to Documentaries, your country is incapable of producing entertainment movies. You don't laugh, you don't cry, you don't feel, and you think that you can entertain a populace. It would be "akin" to watching black and white, silent movies. Again, go to France, India, Germany, even Japan. But in the end, I think it would be best if you just make Documentaries.

12.You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try rugby -
the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

   â¢   You just don't get entertainment. Yep, we Americans are going to go nuts over watching guys in shorts run around the field for 3 hours and maybe make a score. There might even be an upset match of 2-1. The excitement of it all has me watering at the mouth. And when we are done being thrilled by the game we can switch the channel to watch a bunch of guys piled on top of each other move around on the ground for another three hours. Look up sarcasm in the Oxford English dictionary.
   â¢   Don't worry though, an american can fix it. In soccer, you need to have more excitement. Switch the goalie to a girl and after each successful goal, that goalie must remove an article of clothing. No more of those 1-0 matches, from my figuring almost all matches will be, 10-9 or 10-8. Rugby is easy, just switch to girls, we will never turn the channel.

13.Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is under standable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.

   â¢   First get your facts straight, if you learned to do proper research, you would know that Toronto, as in the Toronto Blue Jays, is not with in our countries borders.
   â¢   Second, of course we know their is a world outside of our borders, we supply it with food, we keep it employed by buying its products, and we get a laugh at them when they try and criticize us.

14.You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

   â¢   Hell, we thought you did it. Come on you can tell us.

15.An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies
due (backdated to 1776).

   â¢   Ok, but you must pay all our Social Security benefits, Welfare Benefits, Wic Benefits, and government subsidies back dated to 1776. Want to call that one even? Else, you might owe us some money. We will send the lawyers over.

16.Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers,
and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus
strawberries (with cream) when in season.

   â¢   Ok that confirms it. You are pansies.

God Save the Queen!

   â¢   If you weren't paying attention, according to you, God is the Queen. Let her save herself. But if she did that you would have to call her an American.

PS: Go ahead and share this with your friends in the USA (those with a good
sense of humour and NOT humor.)

   â¢   PS. Go ahead and share this with your friends in the UK (those with a good sense of humor. oops my mistake, there are none) I would go on but, "You Know"

Message from John Cleese

Anonymous — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:25:54 GMT

> *Britain is Repossessing the U.S.A.!*

> A Message from John Cleese (British comedian)

> To: The citizens of the United States of America:

> In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President

> of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the

> revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties

> over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which

> she does not fancy).

> Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for

> America without the need for further elections.

> Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

> A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of

> you noticed.

> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following

> rules are introduced with immediate effect:

> You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.

> 1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will

> be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

> 2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and

> 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without

> skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the

> suffix -ise.

> Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable

> levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

> 3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises

> such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form

> of

> communication.

> There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on

> your

> behalf. The Microsoft spell- checker will be adjusted to take account

> of

> the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn

> your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

> 4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

> 5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,

> lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and

> therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.

> Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to

> sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then

> you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

> 6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything

> more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if

> you

> wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

> 7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for

> your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what

> we

> mean.

> 8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will

> start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you

> will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of

> conversion tables.

> Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British

> sense of humour.

> 9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been

> calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

> 10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French

> fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato

> chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in

> animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

> 11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually

> beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to

> as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be

> referred to as Lager.

> South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the

> greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer.

> They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.

> American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so

> that

> all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

> 12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as

> good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to

> play English characters.

> 13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of

> proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in

> time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American

> football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds

> or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try

> Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they

> regularly thrash us.

> 14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to

> host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played

> outside of America or Japan. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that

> there

> is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will

> learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to

> take

> the sting out of their deliveries.

> 15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

> 16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's

> Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all

> monies due (backdated to 1776).

> 17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never

> mugs,

> with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

> God save the Queen.

> Only He can.

> John Cleese

(If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you. T.T.)

Re: British English and American English

Vorpar — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 20:49:10 GMT

It wouldn't be a big deal to mix vocabulary. It would resemble writing that has slang in it. There are a few words that can be confused (like football or chip) but the writing would generally be clear.

Just lend me a hand

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 04:46:30 GMT

hi evrerybody!
I am from Viet Nam.
Now I have to do my graduation paper.
In order to finish it, I need a list of vocabulary related to football for it.

Thank you in advance

Re: Canadian Vocabulary vs American and British

Anonymous — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 00:23:08 GMT

1. I would prefer, odour, colour, centre, foetus, licence, dialogue, jewellery, criticise, formulae, tyre and programme

2.Do U ever use any of these words (if yes how often): serviette, chesterfield (I do not use these words ever)

3. I would use, autumn, biscuit, chemist's, crisps, football, garden (however im from London but in the north of England they sometimes call the garden a yard), and lift

Thx also for filling these info:

Age: 26

Sex: Female

Province and territory (if you are a Canadian):

Town: Im not canadian im English from West London.

Education (primary/secondary/ higher education): University graduate

Re: Canadian Vocabulary vs American and British

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 00:28:26 GMT

this sort of sounds like geography of language... or perhaps my major is coming through!

1. Which way of spelling do U prefer: odour/odor, colour/color, centre/center, foetus/fetus, licence/license, dialogue/dialog, jewellery/jewelery, criticise/criticize, formulae/formulas, tyre/tire, program/programme

2.Do U ever use any of these words (if yes how often): serviette, chesterfield Yes, and quite frequently

3. Which words do you use in everyday life: autumn/fall, biscuit/cookie (interchangibly(, chemist's/drugstore, crisps/chips, football/soccer, garden/yard, lift/elevator

Thx also for filling these info:

Age: 20

Sex: f

Province OR territory (if you are a Canadian): Columbie Brittanique (heh. BC)

Town: BC

Education (primary/secondary/ higher education): almost completed BSc. One more year! Whoo!

Re: English influence on other languages

Daedalus7 — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 09:47:48 GMT

In spanish, you can see the influence of english in a lot of sport terms. FÃºtbol and basketbol are the spanish equivalents of football and basketball.

There are words in other areas that have been changed very slightly from english, for example the spanish word estandar is an alteration from standard

There are also a series of very commonly used words, like hobby, parking, hippy, .. they're are written in spanish the same way than in english.

Then there are new words that have entered in the last years very strongly in the vocabulary, a very clear example are the words freak and freaky, that are used to design a person who is very strange.

Re: Canadian Vocabulary vs American and British

Clive — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 00:58:52 GMT

Hi,

I beleive there is quite a lot of literature available on this topic. This includes the Canadian Oxford Dictionary that I have in front of me here, and which claims to define Canadian English. Are you hoping to add something new?

Good luck, Clive

My practical section of this dissertation is to involve the analysis of Canadian Vocabulary and I do need your help (especially of Native CANADIANS). I'm a Canadian. We use the term native Canadian to refer to what you might call Canadian Indians. I would be REALLY grateful if U could give me answers to the following survey:

1. Which way of spelling do U prefer: odour/odor, colour/color, centre/center, foetus/fetus, licence/license, dialogue/dialog, jewellery/jewelery, criticise/criticize, formulae/formulas, <<< both, depending on context.- the former in a math context tyre/tire, program/programme

2.Do U ever use any of these words (if yes how often): serviette, chesterfield No and No

3. Which words do you use in everyday life: autumn/fall, biscuit/cookie, chemist's/drugstore, crisps/chips, football/soccer, <<< both, depending on which of the two games I am speaking of garden/yard, lift/elevator

Thx also for filling these info:

Age:

Sex: M

Province and territory (if you are a Canadian): Ontario

Town: Toronto

Education (primary/secondary/ higher education):

Re: Canadian Vocabulary vs American and British

Anonymous — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 05:17:58 GMT

1. Which way of spelling do U prefer: odour/odor, colour/color, centre/center, foetus/fetus, licence/license, dialogue/dialog, jewellery/jewelery(which i say jewl-ree), criticise/criticize, formulae/formulas, tyre/tire, program/programme

2.Do U ever use any of these words (if yes how often): serviette(as often as napkin), chesterfield(never)

3. Which words do you use in everyday life: autumn/fall(both but fall more comonly), biscuit/cookie(biscuit but not to mean a cookie, cookie to mean a cookie), chemist's/drugstore, crisps/chips(meaning potato chips, not french fries), football/soccer(football means american football, soccer means everyone else's football), garden/yard(garden has flowers, yard you mow), lift/elevator(as was said, of course i saw lift but it doesn't mean an elevator)

Thx also for filling these info:

Age: 21

Sex: m

Province and territory (if you are a Canadian): BC

Town: Kamloops

Education (primary/secondary/ higher education): University Student

Re: Canadian Vocabulary vs American and British

Grammar Geek — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 15:02:13 GMT

1. Which way of spelling do U prefer: odour/odor, colour/color, centre/center, foetus/fetus, licence/license, dialogue/dialog, jewellery/jewelery, criticise/criticize, formulae/formulas, tyre/tire, program/programme

2.Do U ever use any of these words (if yes how often): serviette, chesterfield Never

You need to provide the definition you were looking for in #3. Biscuit, in American English, has its own defintion, and so does football. Likewise, garden and yard, etc. If I followed the question directly ask asked, I'd choose all of them except crisps and chemists. Likewise, others will choose chips to mean "French fries."

3. Which words do you use in everyday life: autumn/fall - both, but probably fall more often, biscuit - this is a type of bread - I do use it, but not to mean cookie/cookie, chemist's/drugstore, crisps/chips, football - I call American football just "football"/soccer to mean what everyone else calls football, garden - these have flowers/yard - this you mow, lift - of course I use the word "lift" but not to mean elevator/elevator

Thx also for filling these info:

Age: 40

Sex: F

Province and territory (if you are a Canadian): And if we're not Canadian?

Town:

Education (primary/secondary/ higher education): master's