Search results for 'tag:Formal letters tag:Jokes' matching tags 'Formal letters' and 'Jokes'

Re: Required Modern Sentence

Anonymous — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:23:59 GMT

The truth is "Kindly do the needful" has absolutely no direct translation. In an email, formal or informal, Americians do not have an "exit line" that says anything remotely close to that. I'm sure it's a culture thing, but americians see this as you saying "Do your job." It seems more like a command and less like a friendly jesture.

Agreed, Americians see "Kindly do the needful" and get a good chuckle, make a couple preverted jokes, and move on. Thats because we simply don't use "needful" much less "the needful". For Americian english... and I would suspect brittish as well, try this...

Hi Joe,

Customer number 55477 is looking to see where his order is. Can you check if this customer exists? I've looked everywhere but cannot find any record of this customer.

Thanks

- Bob

This is a completely formal letter for a common inter-office/business email. So my suggestion, simply drop the line entirely. It serves no purpose in modern english.

Re: Business letter

Feebs11 — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 21:03:13 GMT

Anonymous wrote:

I tripped over these fourms just on accident looking for advice on a formal letter that is due. If it isn't any trouble could someone point out any areas that need revision. here it is:

*** Bunting Drive

North Augusta, *** ***

November 1, 2007

Mr. B

Assistant Academic Dean.

X College

X Road

X-town, State zip code

Dear Mr. B:

Subject: Grade Disputation

The reason ~~why~~ I am contacting you is because of my strong disagreement with my final grade in English 102 (Fall 1, X). I feel that I have received this grade unfairly and wish it to be reviewed. ~~I must emphasize on the imbalanced acts that were made during the quarter.~~

My concerns primarily deal ~~a lot~~ with my final paper. Mr. X informed the class that âeveryoneâ could and should turn their paper in for him to review before the due date. I tried to take advantage of this but was rejected because of Mr. Xâs busy schedule. On September 20th my final paper was due. I had to appear in court and was not able to make it to class (documentation attached). I turned in my paper at the next class and was notified that it would be counted late and after a quick review was told that I would fail the paper. He identified the major format errors I had made within five minutes of looking at my paper. I do not know why he could not have taken five minutes before the class to tell me about these errors that needed to be fixed. I asked if I could quickly change these errors and turn back in a revised copy. I was rudely told, âYesâ¦next quarter.â I was dissatisfied with myself but life goes on.

I left in disappointment and walked to my next class with another one of Mr. Xsâ students. I asked her how she did and was shocked when told that she was allowed to take her essay home and revise it. She forgot to type major parts of her paper and had many format errors. Mr. X told her that if she didnât redo the paper and turn in back in on the 23rd, she would fail (a due-date altered from the rest of the class). I had asked Mr. X for the same privilege minutes before and was denied. When confronted about it, he told me that it did not matter as she failed anyway. I found out when talking to him a second time that she had actually made a âBâ.

The second of my concerns is about my âdaily gradeâ. I ~~just~~ recently found out about this and should also be brought to your attention. Mr. X enlightened me that I had earned a âDâ for my âdaily gradeâ when I initially spoke with him about my disputation. His reasoning behind it was that I slept in class âall the timeâ as he put it. It is hard for me to grasp this because of the fact that we had to write an essay every class besides the first week and a half. The first week and a half was âan exact repeat of English 101â as Mr. X put it. The repetition of the material made it hard to fight dozing off. I saw this in many students' faces. I dozed off twice during this time period. I would like to bring it to your attention that I was not the only one falling asleep during his lectures. It became sort of a joke about Mr. X and his dictionary. He would prop it up acting as if he was reading, but was clearly sleeping. After the introduction of the course, our assignment from then on was to write an essay each class. It is rather hard to fall asleep writing an essay that is due in two hours. I am 100 per cent sure that I was awake for each paper. Not only was I awake for each essay, but I made it a goal to stay in class until everyone had left ~~early~~. He told us that he wanted us to stay the full two hours even if that meant writing another twenty pages. I figured that was the reason I had received such a low grade in English 101.

Yours sincerely,

Cory X

<mod note: Specific names and places have been removed>

Business letter

Anonymous — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:22:02 GMT

I tripped over these fourms just on accident looking for advice on a formal letter that is due. If it isn't any trouble could someone point out any areas that need revision. here it is

*** Bunting Drive

North Augusta, *** ***

November 1, 2007

Mr. B

Assistant Academic Dean.

X College

X Road

X-town, State zip code

Dear Mr. B:

Subject: Grade Disputation

The reason why I am contacting you is because of my strong disagreement with my final grade in English 102 (Fall 1, X). I feel that I have received this grade unfairly and wish for you to review it. I must emphasize on the imbalanced acts that were made during the quarter.

My concerns primarily deal a lot with my final paper. Mr. X informed the class that âeveryoneâ could and should turn their paper in for him to review before the due date. I tried to take advantage of this but was rejected because of Mr. Xâs busy schedule. On September twentieth my final paper was due. I had to appear in court and was not able to make it to class (documentation attached). I turned in my paper the next class and was notified that it would be counted late and after a quick review was told that I would fail the paper. He identified the major format errors I had made within five minutes of looking at my paper. I do not know why he could not have taken five minutes the class before to tell me about these errors that needed to be fixed. I asked if I could quickly change these errors and turn back in a revised copy. I was rudely told, âYesâ¦next quarter.â I was dissatisfied with myself but life goes on.

I left in disappointment and walked to my next class with another one of Mr. Xsâ students. I asked her how she did and was shocked when told that she was allowed to take it home and revise it. She forgot to type major parts of her paper and had many format errors. Mr. X told her that if she didnât redo the paper and turn in back in on the twenty-third, she would fail (a due-date altered from the rest of the class). I asked Mr. X for the same privilege minutes before and was denied. When confronted about it, he told me that it did not matter she bombed it anyway. I found out when talking to him a second time that she had actually made a âBâ.

The second of my concerns is about my âdaily gradeâ. I just recently found out about this and should also be brought to your attention. Mr. X enlightened me that I had earned a âDâ for my âdaily gradeâ when I initially spoke with him about my disputation. His reasoning behind it was that I slept in class âall the timeâ as he put it. It is hard for me to grasp this because of the fact that we had to write an essay every class besides the first week and a half. The first week and a half was âan exact repeat of English 101â as Mr. X put it. The repetition of the material it was hard to fight dozing off. I saw this in many students faces. I dozed off twice during this time period. I would like to bring it to your attention that I was not the only one falling asleep during his lectures. It became sort of a joke about Mr. X and his dictionary. He would prop it up acting as if he was reading, but was clearly sleeping. After the introduction of the course, our assignment from then on was to write an essay each class. It is rather hard to fall asleep writing an essay that is due in two hours. I am one-hundred percent sure that I was awake for each paper. Not only was I awake for each essay, but I made it a goal to stay in class until everyone had left early. He told us that he wanted us to stay the full two hours even if that meant writing another twenty pages. I figured that was the reason I had received such a low grade in English 101.

Sincerely,

Cory X

<mod note: Specific names and places have been removed>

Re: Inferior dialects?

Randy_Tam — Mon, 19 Dec 2005 09:36:48 GMT

I am not quite close to 'homeless'. I am living at my aunt's home because my granny invited 3 of her siplings to stay... aiya, according to my parents this is going to last 2 weeks or more. I am currently using my uncle's PC just to get here and take a look at what you say. Though I cannot come here as frequently as I used to.

Looking at dictionaries for meanings, phonetic representations whatever does not mean you are forming rules of some sort. I am sorry I didn't include this in describing what a native speaker's going to do with a dictionary... lol. This is especially true with languages belonging to the Sino family, the orthography of which is ideographic, for which reason the phonological form can hardly be guessed just from its shape (I remember I read a passage during my F3 Chinese lessons called <æ¼¢åççµæ§>, in which the author asserted that there's a kind of Chinese letters, the å½¢è²å, whose pronunciations could be guessed. I can hardly agree with this. Even an L1 speaker of Chinese, without prior training, can hardly succeed in this.). This is also true, to a certain extent, of English because of its hybrid source of etymons (... um... I mean the root of a lexical item. I don't really remember the English jargon for it): French, Old English, German, Irish, Greek, Latin... all contribute to the English language as it is today, leading to the lack of consistency between the orthographical and phonological forms of English words. These little 'cracks' of course can not be formulated by the human cognitive system (simply by means of conjecture, etc).

Language is of course not a science, but the STUDY into it can be, just as one may well argue whether translatology is an art or a science.

I am not really sure whether university English courses lay more stress on the scientific side of languages than on the cultural side thereof. To the best of my knowledge, this is not the case. Both are given equal stress. I come to this conclusion from information available to me. Lingnan University, where I am taking my undergraduate yr1 course in Contemporary English and Education, and Chinese University, where a friend of mine is currently a yr2 student in English, both have introductory courses into 'English Grammar', as well as introductory courses into literature in English. The workload is virtually the same for the 2 parts, at least in yr 1. But as the course goes on, more such courses as 'language and culture' or 'sociolinguistics' are available, making the curriculum more relevant to the relationship between language and social factors.

But your statement is true in that Hong Kongers are culturally more and more illiterate, being ignorant not only in foreign cultures but also in their own. Their ignorance in local culture being irrelevant here, I'd like to suggest some plausible reasons why language education from a cultural perspective is losing its ground.

1. It appears students are less motivated (in their learning) these days. What I mean by this is that days at school become more and more dreary: schooling is more or less a long toil, against which students devise one of the most primitive countermeasures known to man --- go have some sleep and look for your Juliet in your dream, handsome Romeo.

But this 'countermeasure' has its roots in that at night students have to attend tutorial classes, which they deem even more useful than classes at school. They having had such classes head back home have their dinner, do some homework and perhaps some reading as well, and, hey mama, I need time to play and relax a while. Voila, time to sleep puppy, it's already 0300 in the midnight. Frankly last year when I was having my A Level, I spent almost 7 hours everyday after school just to revise and read something more (I didn't take tutorial classes, save for economics), it was already 1200 when I returned home from the self - study facilities. It was hell. All this lead to a persistent fatigue in students.

So, the consequence is that, even if the cultural side of language is come across at school, there could hardly be anyone listening (lol.... reminds me of my UE class. Almost 2 / 3 of our class were sleeping if no assignments were given).

2. One may well ask an old question, 'why do students opt for tutorial classes instead of school?' To this old question I give an old answer, 'because students think tutorial classes are more useful, in that they cut the craps and just get straight to the point.' ---> I didn't take tutorials so don't blame me for that. But from what I hear, from my ex - gf (...), my friends, and my classmates, this is the case.

What is meant, then, by 'craps'? ie. anything that is not relevant to the examinations ahead. Examinations, strangely enough, dominate students' minds. My classmates may well think that I am good at linguistics, and so they will immediately conclude, without exception, 'so you must score a high GPA'... Sadly, the thing that is immediately associated with 'good or bad' is a score.

Your suggestion about IELTS (that I took 2 years ago lol without attending any tutorial classes or doing preparations of any sort... just fulfilling your 'minimum requirement' when I was a 6th former) therefore, in this context, does not really render any use in determining the (always abtract) 'language standard' of English teachers. IELTS has nothing about 'culture'. Given that absurd formula (good / bad = score), and given the fact that actually there are tutorial classes given on this test available in Hong Kong, IELTS is simply another UE.

3. These lead to the 3rd possible cause: All that Hong Kong (as a physiological identity separated from its people) wants about English is to make it a little utility: the current English curriculum is concerned with how to use English (as the name of the subject suggests: Use of English), not how to appreciate English as a language or, as Sapir - Whorf's hypothesis suggests, a fruit of a culture. Think about the writing assignments: Letter to the editor, Letter of complaint, Informal letter to a friend (sharing students' own experience perhaps), and essays (on the sheer knowledge on some current social issues). Listening is more or less to make students a 'phono - type', write whatever you hear. (of course, that needs some thought... but what is needed in a real dialogue: any puns suggested? the attitude of the speaker? 'slips of tongue'? all these are absent). Oral~ haha, that's a joke. Just keep talking and make your points understandable to your partners to score high. If this is not enough, sham having some 'foreign accents'. What is the most 'important part' in English exams in Hong Kong, as an interviewee in a programme produced by TVB (name really forgotten, but the programme is great!) pointed out, is 'comprehension', not how to express oneself, accounting for the 'deteriorating English language standard' these days.

4. What makes the situation even worse is the availability of such 'lures' as PC games, movies, and the Internet (-_-... am I not surfing the net?). Students 20 years ago may take pleasure in reading fictions: Le Docteur Pascal, Women in Love, the God of Small Things (I didn't take AL E. Lit.; I really read it for pleasure), Sybil (by Benjamin Disraeli), these are all fictions that I like. But as other forms of leisure can be more easily reached today, reading (to learn from the 'experience of another person': a 'function' of literature) becomes a hefty burden from which every students wants to escape.

So... the entire 'English pedagogic machine' becomes a miserable thing brewing students who treat English as nothing more than a tool to show their 'erudition', as is observed from the fact that complaint letters written in English to the Government or to such other authorities as concerned are paid more attention to, even if the author thereof is a Hong Konger. I do not mean Hong Kongers are in their nature 'inferior' to non - Hong Kongers. What I am trying to bring out is that there exists a sort of 'linguistic discrimination', even if the government has declared equal legal status of Chinese and English. Discriminations of this sort conduce to English being treated the utilitarian way. Actually I was writing an essay on this attitude toward English when the semester started. But the 'study' was halted by the profs, on the grounds that I am but a yr1 student, so that I should leave the topic to my yr 3 (actually yr 4) final paper. Anyway, I don't give a damn anymore.

Your suggestion relative to the English curriculum is good... but I wonder if it would be possible even in the university, as the topics suggested are each already a large topic. Or are you actually suggesting it as a framework that is to be followed through during the 16 years (university years inclusive) of schooling?

I love linguistics not really because I treat language in a parochial scientific way. I am limiting 'language' to the 'essence' (leaving this undefined) because I am more interested in the common traits shared by ALL human languages. Culture... yes, that sounds great, and in my literature studies I remember I once looked into the relationship between 'gender roles' and why Alice Munro's <Boys and Girls> is written that way. But still, linguistics studied in the way I mentioned before is what I am most interested in, for which reason I am not really ok with the course I am taking and am therefore applying by non - JUPAS for CU linguistics... to see if I have a chance.