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social justice issue essay

sandie_bummie — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 05:45:33 GMT

hi! i need to write essay about social justice issue, and my topic is "marriage". can somebody help me check my grammarm verb tense and proofread it for me. thanks in advance i really appreciate it..

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Social Justice âMarriageâ

Marriage is a custom which can be found in every human culture. Although the forms and rules are differ. Marriage is a form of commitment between man and woman. It is a legal recognized relationship by a religious ceremony between man and woman who intent to live together as sexual and domestic partners. It is can also an arrangement between families whereby parents create a kind of business transaction in order to maintain family status and level. Modern marriages become more complicated today due to social justice issue such as homosexual marriage and divorce.

Arrangement marriage used to be common in the ancient world and it is still practice in most countries today especially to those high power and status families. Parents have control over their childâs happiness. They will one who will choose and decide to whom their child going to marry. For the sake of family status and power they sacrifice their own childâs happiness. Freedom and happiness have been taken out from their children. Arrangement marriage is also a form of solemn promise between two families. My parent married was arranged but they opting for love marriage. Even though they donât love each other, but at least they know each other for long time. They try to accept and love the one another and now they live happily with six children in a comfortable living. This kind of marriage arrangement is good because both families know each other very well. But not for others, they donât even know who their going to marry. They cannot see the appearance and personality until the wedding day. Marriage means people marrying for love and live rest of their life for the person their love. Unfortunately, marriage is just a primary union which made good economic sense and in order to solidify political alliances.

Modern people are pushing the trend toward amorality same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage has been top debate issue in our political and society today. Even higher Supreme Courts take action about this matter. Majority people are opposing about same-sex marriage or gay marriage, especially in religious groups. They insist that marriage is between one man and on woman. They been taught this way and it was written in Holy Bible for many thousand years. As a Christian myself, I have been taught by pastors, church members and family that there only two gender that God created. Gay is considering a moral sin. Although, I have been taught that way but I never look down on gay people. I have big respect for them, it is not their choice to be gay it happen from their own will. They also human have the right to choose who they want to married. I support gay civil union for gay couples, but it doesnât mean that I support gay marriage. Marriage has been union of one man and one woman in all human cultures throughout human history. It has been the standard custom in many cultures for several thousand years. Unfortunately, the definition of marriage today is radically different from what it was several thousand years ago. Same-sex marriage destroys the definition of marriage, because it no longer represents the inherently procreative relationship of opposite sex pair bonding.

Marriage was born from primitive cultures that recognized that males and females mated and as a result produced children that needed to be cared for. Unfortunately, the rates of files divorce increasing rapidly especially in United State. Many people filing divorce because the relationship is not going well. In the first place they didnât know what is marriage really means. They just though that the intimate love between two people are enough to get married. It is more than that; it is more on responsibility and sacrifice. It is an idea couples committing for life and raising children together and sharing the struggles of survival. Divorce is the most stressful event that affects family especially on children. Children may feel a great loss and as well as anxiety and sadness. Back in hundred years ago, divorce cases are very rare. Even the love between both parents is gone; they still stay together for the sake of their children. Parent divorce made a big impact on children, from old saying that âchildren learn what they liveâ is very true. Parent is childrenâs role model, whatever parent do the children will imitate it. Children of divorced parents perform more poorly in school. They also are more likely to repeat a grade and to have higher drop-out rates and lower rates of college graduation. It is really big impact for our society; federal government spent more money on school because higher repeat grade. Marriage is foundation of family. However, the foundation is getting weak and higher consumption for singles.

The meaning of marriage is differs from one person to another, from time to another. In ancient times, marriage is a form condition where women most treated as a property for men. Historically period, marriage is permanent institution that once entered cannot be dissolved beside death. Romantic love has been made the most important basis for marriage. Marriage is also a commitment and agreement of both men and women. Certainly, in the modern world, the meaning of marriage is become more complicated. Marriage is primary union which made good economic sense. People are pushing the trend into an amorality society. Same-sex couples are pursuing the right to be married. Unfortunately, a legal recognition didnât allow same-sex to be married, it will change the meaning of marriage extremely differ. In addition, higher divorce rates many children will not be raised in a traditional family unit. The meaning of marriage never define, it is changing as the times change. As society changes, the institution of marriage changes as well.

College Motivation Letter... MountainHiker, you still on here?

Anonymous — Tue, 13 May 2008 22:33:51 GMT

Hi all! I have written this to the best of my ability. I'm pretty secure about the language part, as I'm bilingual, but it's the culture part that I want to check works. Some stuff I need to put in there, like the reason for the GPA - it's part letter, part appeal. But, this is my question, does it come off as too smarmy, too corny, too vague, disorganized, paragraphs need switching around? I just really liked what Hiker said to some other people n here - I have tried to follow the question checklists s/he posted "(Introduction (very quick points) 1a) Who you are 1b) What you want to do 1c) Why do you want to do it 1d) What do you want from them 2) Detailed background 2a) Expand on who you are 3) Detailed background 3a) Expand on what you want to do and why you want to do it 4) Summary 4a) Summarize what you have told them 4b) Thank them for considering your application" and the list for another poster "1) You have a Communication Science degree 2) You want to obtain a Masters Degree in European Comparative Public Policy 3) You want to study at University of Essex 4) You have a passion for European Comparative Public Policy 5) You want to do what or influence what once you are done?" This is an online... ookay, off to edit *edits* *returns* ...online college offering a Liberal Arts MA. Fort Hays State University. And this is my letter: As an immigrant from Egypt with a BA in English literature, including comparative and cultural studies, a background in consciousness-raising work and gender activism, and a lifelong dream of a career conveying these concepts to others and inspiring them to make a difference, I respectfully seek acceptance at your Master of Arts in Liberal Studies program. Culture, critical thinking, history, and social analysis have been the most important fields of study (formal and otherwise) in my life for as long as I can remember. My mission since graduation has been to analyze and question accepted ways of doing things, including sexuality, the monolithic nature of official discourse, and the mainstreaming of the Arabic language and Islam while eroding indigenous tongues and other religions in my native Egypt. As an aficionado of historical narrative, especially that of my native region, the Middle East, and a keen observer of the unseen social currents of religious and gender politics, and cultural norms, mores and values, I have devoted myself to exploring what lies beneath the surface and is visible through the 'iceberg' model of culture. To this end, I have read over 150 books on history, culture, religion, politics and sexuality, among others, mostly about Arab culture. I already am teaching Middle Eastern culture and history at a small language school. The reaction I have received has made me eager to become qualified for a better teaching position in the field of culture/comparative studies. There is so much work to be done in this area to make people truly aware! However, I sense that before being qualified to do this, I am in need of a more thorough academic grounding in epistemology, anthropology and the science of critical thinking skills, as well as in the broader areas of culture and human knowledge, including cross-disciplinary studies and research on cultures outside the mainstream. I am confident that these fields are jut what I need to formalize the learning imparted by my sometimes tumultuous social-political personal experience. While the English Department of Cairo University, where I earned my BA, was a liberal oasis (my majors included Comparative Literature, Civilization and feminist criticism), I later found many of my fellow-Arabs were resistant to a liberal outlook. At that time, the newspapers were abuzz with news of the 'Satanist cult': trumped-up charges (later dismissed by judges as a total fabrication) brought by powerful police officials against American University boys and girls, arrested for wearing black and listening to heavy metal, tortured into confessing crimes they never committed. I became more and more frustrated as people kept telling me, "The newspapers say it; it must be true." For these people, the appearance of difference, and condemnation by the mainstream media, was enough to condemn these unfortunate young people whose only crime had been to assert some individuality and deviate from social norms. The issue became even more complicated and interesting when a number of Europeans I worked with, in a well-intentioned quest for 'cultural sensitivity', ended up with a prescriptive and restrictive definition of Middle Eastern culture: "No, no, boys shouldn't take Home Economics classes. We understand your culture." I preferred to view norms, mores, and values as separate entities and not succumb to the Orientalist view that, lumped together, unchanging and unchangeable, they constituted a monolithic 'culture'. Some of the other questions I asked myself were: What is collective memory? Can one find a descriptive, rather than prescriptive, model of culture? How far does respect for difference erode the rights of the dissenting individual in a collective culture? These are questions whose answers I hope to seek in your program. In 2001, my interest in sexual/religious difference took on a more overtly political nature with the Queen Boat case, where 52 gay men were arrested on trumped-up charges of, yes, Satanism. Unable to stand it any longer, I started a campaign to pressure legal organizations to give them representation in court ("But they're fags! Why represent them?") and alert international human rights organizations to the issue. This had some success; however, it became clear that I was next in line for arrest, and finally I sought political asylum in the U.S. Since coming here, I have studied cinema (earning an associate degree with a 3.8 GPA) made a film on the subject, and am currently preparing a documentary on the veil. In addition to your academic program, which seems to offer a roadmap to the answers for many of my questions, your university is ideal for me in that you offer a course to be taken completely online. This is beyond convenient for me, as I am busy with work and have found that commuting time cuts into my study hours; I would also find it impossible to relocate to Kansas at this time. Also, in an age where education can be, literally, a forbidding expense, my gratitude knows no bounds for your efforts to provide a quality education at a price I can actually afford. I feel it is pertinent here to mention that, just before the exams of my last year at university, I was among a group of students who were holding a peaceful demonstration against the interference of the secret police in student affairs, including sabotaging student union elections. The secret police pelted us with tear gas grenades and rubber bullets; I was unlucky, and had to be carried out of the university with a broken nose and upper respiratory inflammation. When exam time came round, I was not yet recovered (Egyptian universities base the entire grade on one final exam, not on coursework) but made an effort to come to exams and ultimately managed to pass all my tests. However, while my GPA in previous years was significantly higher, as you can see from my transcript, I was unable to make the minimum 2.5 GPA required for the last 60 hours of undergraduate study. This rather lengthy and tedious explanation precedes, as you may be expecting, an urgent and very heartfelt plea that you not allow this unfortunate occurrence to stand in the way of my chances for learning and the ultimate fulfillment of my life's dream. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Your university represents a dream to me, not least thanks to the convenience and cost, which means that the dream is finally within my grasp. It is my dearest hope to become a student at the Master of Arts in Liberal Studies Program, thereby gaining an invaluable academic grounding and ideological framework and positively influencing others thereby. If accepted, I pledge to apply myself to my studies diligently, and never give you cause to doubt the wisdom if your decision. Allow me to thank you, again, for considering my application. Yours sincerely

make a point

New2grammar — Sun, 04 May 2008 11:29:04 GMT

At least two dozen schools, including Brown University, the University of Pennsylvania, Oberlin College, Clark University and the California Institute of Technology, allow some or all students to share a room with anyone they choose, including someone of the opposite sex. This spring, as students sign up for next year's room, more schools are following suit, including Stanford University.

As shocking as it sounds to some parents, some students and schools say it's not about sex.

Instead, they say the demand is mostly from heterosexual students who want to live with close friends who happen to be of the opposite sex. Some gay students who feel more comfortable rooming with someone of the opposite sex are also taking advantage of the option.

"It ultimately comes down to finding someone that you feel is compatible with you," said Jeffrey Chang, a junior at Clark in Worcester, Massachusetts, who co-founded the National Student Genderblind Campaign, a group that is pushing for gender-neutral housing. "Students aren't doing this to make a point. They're not doing this to upset their parents. It's really for practical reasons."

What's the meaning of "make a point" in this paragraph?

Re: Help me please.

julielai — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 14:13:20 GMT

You need to fix the part in red.

Anonymous
Ok... so basically I need to do a five paragraph essay (Paragraph model?) by analyzing 3 quotes from this a passage I read "No name woman" by Maxie Hong Kingston. I'm just having trouble with a few things... some I understand, and others I don't. I tried fixing some errors that I made.. (ie: spelling, grammar). This is just the a 2nd draft. I would apprcieate some help and tips. Thanks in advance!
This is what I need help with:

-Verb Tense

`Unpacking language of quotes -Introducing all quotes fully

-Run on sentences?

         No Name Woman

            Maxine Hong Kingston begins to learn the story of her aunt who in the story is known as âNo Name Womanâ. Kingstonâs mother begins in the first passage, warning her to not tell anyone what she is about to say, referring to the story of her aunt. She explains that the aunt was Kingstonâs fatherâs sister, who killed herself in the family ~~well~~, but thereâs no mention of her at all, because it is as if she had never been born. The aunt brought shame to the family. She became a disgrace to the village, because the ~~action of~~ adultery committed. As a result of that, she ended up with an unwanted pregnancy. This caused so much commotion with the villagers, who were enraged, and raided the family house. The villagers destroyed and broke their possessions, wanting to get rid of the aunt from their community; because the villagers did not permit the coupleâs breaking tradition. As a child, Kingston did not fully understand this part of her Chinese culture. She starts making up her own stories. As an adult, Kingston looks back at her childhood years, to understand the story and her culture.

            Roughly around the age of 12, Kingston starts receiving warnings, and semi-threats from her mother about any unwanted pregnancies. Kingstonâs mother sets the aunt as an example. The mother says:

"Don't let your father know that I told you. He denies her. Now that you have started to menstruate, what happened to her could happen to you. Don't humiliate us. You wouldn't like to be forgotten as if you had never been born. The villagers are watchful;" (325)

The mother warns young Kingston, and talks about the aunt who brought disgrace to the family. Kingston is being guided, not to fall in the wrong path as her aunt did. The mother warns her at this moment, because it is the moment Kingston goes into a new stage of life that she must go through carefully (be specific). The mother wants Kingston to learn the values of her culture, traditions, and the people she represents. She describes that the villagers are watching (watching whom?), because they are a community who stick together as a group. It is part of their culture, having private lives is a dishonor to the culture. (doesn't make sense) The aunt dishonored it, by having a baby without a father. The mother is preventing young Kingston from bring shame to the family again. ~~Kingstonâs mother told stories~~

            Adult Kingston remembers when her mother use to tell her stories to warn her about life, and the realities ~~that existed~~. ~~She would tell stories, to teach Kingston morals.~~ Kingston explains:

âWhenever she had to warn us about life, my mother told stories that ran like this one, a story to grow up on. She tested our strength to establish realities. Those in the emigrant generations who could not reassert brute survival died young and far from home. Those of us in the first American generations have had to figure out how the invisible world the emigrants built around our childhoods fit in solid America.â (325)

Adult Kingston discusses ~~about~~ the emigrants who were struggling with poverty, and moved to America. This was the old generation, who struggled with survival. The emigrants re-assert themselves with the new life; some endure (tense) brute survival. Poverty was an issue in old China. The new generation is growing in America. China was the âinvisible worldâ for ~~most that was part of~~ the new generation. Kingston they never been there, but only hear stories about it. ~~America was solid, because~~ the new generation was adapting to new changes. Kingston wanted to uncover more of this Chinese cultural history.

            As an adult, Kingston starts to question if her aunt is really guilty~~, to commit such an act,~~ ~~which would lead to her own demise~~. Kingston searches for answers, because the stories only seem to confuse her. She did not fully understand the Chinese cultural as a child, because she is part of the new generation. This leads Kingston to form her own perspective of the story that her mother had told. She starts rewriting the story in her own words, and her own point of view. Kingston thinks:

âAdultery is extravagance. Could people who hatch their own chicks and eat the embryos and the heads for delicacies and boil the feet in vinegar for party food, leaving only the gravel, eating even the gizzard lining--could such people engender a prodigal aunt? To be a woman, to have a daughter in starvation time was a waste enough. My aunt could not have been the lone romantic who gave up everything for sex. Women in the old China did not choose. Some man had commanded her to lie with him and be his secret evil. I wonder whether he masked himself when he joined the raid on the family.â (326)

Adult Kingston does not believe that her aunt gave up everything for adultery. She questions, and thinks how cruel the villagers are towards the aunt. Kingston describes her aunt as a âprodigal auntâ ~~meaning she is yielding profusely~~. She questions, if a human being is capable of bringing a newborn to this world, and then getting rid of it without any remorse. She realizes that ~~in Chinese culture, woman had no right to rule, because they had to obey the rules set by the husband. We~~women in that time ~~of Chinese culture~~ did not have a choice because they had to obey their husbands. Kingston wonders if the man responsible for impregnating her aunt wasnât man enough to try to be responsible. She also believes the man might have been responsible for organizing the raid in the first place. Kingston, somehow wanted to defend her aunt. She tries to analyze the possible reasons behind her aunt's unwanted pregnancy~~, in~~ which dishonored her entire family.

            Kingston as an adult, finally realized her aunt was not fully guilty. The aunt ~~went through injustice, and~~ was the victim of rape. While the entire society rejected her aunt, Kingston honored her aunt instead. The motherâs aim was to warn young Kingston, not to humiliate the family by making the same mistake as her aunt did. The motherâs aim also had another purpose, in which she wanted to show the values of her culture, traditions, and making Kingston a better person in life~~, without any disruptions~~. Kingston as an adult reflects back on what she has learned from her mother, and her unnamed aunt. She has also discovered the world that was once invisible to her.

Help me please.

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:44:07 GMT

Ok... so basically I need to do a five paragraph essay (Paragraph model?) by analyzing 3 quotes from this a passage I read "No name woman" by Maxie Hong Kingston. I'm just having trouble with a few things... some I understand, and others I don't. I tried fixing some errors that I made.. (ie: spelling, grammar). This is just the a 2nd draft. I would apprcieate some help and tips. Thanks in advance!

This is what I need help with:

-Verb Tense

`Unpacking language of quotes -Introducing all quotes fully

-Run on sentences?

No Name Woman

Maxine Hong Kingston begins to learn the story of an aunt, in which she is known as âNo Name Womanâ. Kingstonâs mother begins in the first passage, warning her to not tell anyone what she is about to say, referring to the story of her aunt. She explains that the aunt was Kingstonâs fatherâs sister, who killed herself in the family well, but thereâs no mention of her at all, because it is as if she had never been born. The aunt brought shame to the family. She became a disgrace to the village, because the action of adultery committed. As a result of that, she ended up with an unwanted pregnancy. This caused so much commotion with the villagers, who were enraged, and raided the family house. The villagers destroyed and broke their possessions, wanting to get rid of the aunt from their community; because the villagers did not permit the coupleâs breaking tradition. As a child, Kingston did not fully understand the way of her Chinese culture. She starts making up her own stories. As an adult, Kingston looks back at her childhood years, to learn the identity of the story, and go deeper with her cultural history.

Roughly around the age of 12, Kingston starts receiving warnings, and semi-threats from her mother, to avoid any unwanted pregnancies. Kingstonâs mother sets the aunt as an example. The mother says:

"Don't let your father know that I told you. He denies her. Now that you have started to menstruate, what happened to her could happen to you. Don't humiliate us. You wouldn't like to be forgotten as if you had never been born. The villagers are watchful;" (325)

The mother warns young Kingston, and sets an example from the aunt who brought disgrace to the family. Kingston is being guided, not to fall in the wrong path as her aunt did. The mother warns her at this moment, because it is the moment Kingston goes into a new stage of life that she must go through carefully. The mother wants Kingston to learn the values of her culture, traditions, and the people she represents. She describes that the villagers are watching, because they are a community who stick together as a group. It is part of their culture, having private lives is a dishonor to the culture. The aunt dishonored it, by having a baby without any father present. The mother is preventing young Kingston from bring shame to the family again. Kingstonâs mother told stories

Adult Kingston remembers when her mother use to warn her about life, and the realities that existed. She would tell stories, to teach Kingston morals. Kingston explains:

âWhenever she had to warn us about life, my mother told stories that ran like this one, a story to grow up on. She tested our strength to establish realities. Those in the emigrant generations who could not reassert brute survival died young and far from home. Those of us in the first American generations have had to figure out how the invisible world the emigrants built around our childhoods fit in solid America.â (325)

Adult Kingston discusses about the emigrants who were struggling with poverty, and moved to America. This was the old generation, who struggled with surviving life. The emigrants re-assert themselves with the new life; some endure brute survival. Poverty was an issue in old China. The new generation is growing in America. China was the âinvisible worldâ for most that was part of the new generation. Kingston they never been there, but only hear stories about it. America was solid, because the new generation was adapting to new changes. Kingston wanted to uncover more of this Chinese cultural history.

As an adult, Kingston starts to question if her aunt is really guilty, to commit such an act, which would lead to her own demise. Kingston searches for answers, because the stories only seem to confuse her. She did not fully understand the Chinese cultural as a child, because she grew up in the new generation. This leads Kingston making up her own perspective of the story that her mother had told. She starts remaking the story in her own words, and her own point of view. Kingston thinks:

âAdultery is extravagance. Could people who hatch their own chicks and eat the embryos and the heads for delicacies and boil the feet in vinegar for party food, leaving only the gravel, eating even the gizzard lining--could such people engender a prodigal aunt? To be a woman, to have a daughter in starvation time was a waste enough. My aunt could not have been the lone romantic who gave up everything for sex. Women in the old China did not choose. Some man had commanded her to lie with him and be his secret evil. I wonder whether he masked himself when he joined the raid on the family.â (326)

Adult Kingston does not believe that her aunt gave up everything for adultery. She questions, how cruel the villagers are towards the aunt. Kingston describes her aunt as âprodigal auntâ meaning she is yielding profusely. She questions, if a human being is capable of bringing a newborn, and then getting rid of it without any remorse. She realizes that in Chinese culture, woman had no right to rule, because they had to obey the rules set by the husband. Women in that time of Chinese culture did not have a choice. Kingston wonders if the man responsible for impregnating her aunt wasnât man enough to take hold of his responsibilities. She also believes the man might have been responsible for organizing the raid in the first place. Kingston, somehow wanted to defend her aunt. She tries to analyze the possible reasons behind her aunt's unwanted pregnancy, in which dishonored her entire culture.

Kingston as an adult, finally realized her aunt was not fully guilty. The aunt went through injustice, and was the victim of rape. While the entire society rejected her aunt, Kingston honored her aunt instead. The motherâs aim was to warn young Kingston, not to humiliate the family by making the same mistake as her aunt did. The motherâs aim also had another purpose, in which she wanted to show the values of her culture, traditions, and making Kingston a better person in life, without any disruptions. Kingston as an adult reflects back on what she has learned from her mother, and her unnamed aunt. She also discovered the world that was once invisible to her.

Re: Please make correction to this essay in needed

julielai — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 21:28:20 GMT

Highlighted some glaring errors for you.

Sweetsourzinc wrote:

Thesis Statement and body paragraph

Goodyearâs tire cooperation is better than Firestone tire cooperation because of it diversity, student programs and customer services.

Diversity is Goodyearâs number one priority; itâs an important part of what they must do to increase growth nationally. This ensures that every one of their associates, no matter what their race, gender, sexual orientation, sexual preference, age, religious and or nationality, can contribute to their fullest. Goodyear has created an environment that has given each equal rights and equal opportunities.

Goodyear tire cooperation is a diverse and inclusive workforce that provides the strategic advantage to successfully conduct business in a multi-cultural marketplace. Goodyear's diverse mindset has enabled it to respond to changes much quicker than its competitors.

Goodyear is currently working locally and national with student programs aimed at preparing minority students to join the workforce. Goodyear provides internships with pay that give the students practical experience that compliments their academic course of study.

Please make correction to this essay in needed

Sweetsourzinc — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:43:24 GMT

Thesis Statement and body paragraph

Goodyearâs tire cooperation is better than Firestone tire cooperation because of it diversity, student programs and customer services

Diversity is Goodyearâs number one priority; itâs an important part of what they must do to increase growth nationally. This ensures that every one of their associates, no matter what their race, gender, sexual orientation, sexual preference, age, religious and or nationality, can contribute to their fullest. Goodyear has created an environment that has given each equal rights and equal opportunities.

Goodyear tire cooperation is a diverse and inclusive workforce that provides the strategic advantage to successfully conduct business in multi-cultural marketplace. Goodyear's diverse mindset has enabled it to respond to changes much quicker than its competitors.

Goodyear is currently working locally and national with student programs aimed at preparing minority students to join the workforce. Goodyear provides internships with pay that give the students practical experience that compliments their academic course of study.

Re: Please help me to fix this paragraph!!

Mister Micawber — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 01:22:13 GMT

Like everything else in this booming economy, ideas about gender roles are quickly changing as satellite TV and the Internet bring Western influences to a society cut off by decades of war and economic isolation.

Please help me to fix this paragraph!!

Emerald_Gem — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 21:06:01 GMT

Like everything else in this economicall booming country, ideas about sex and gender roles are quickly changing as satellite TV and the Internet bring Western influences to a society cut off by decades of war and economic isolation.

Thanks for your help!

Re: Please help me with my motivatin letter

Mister Micawber — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 13:19:34 GMT

I have corrected what you have posted. I feel that your letter needs one more paragraph (in the position marked 'P' below) to provide more specific detail of why this MA is important for you and why the Leiden MA is specifically appropriate to your needs.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you in connection with your Master's [?Please check Leiden's website] Program in International Relations and Diplomacy starting 2008, for which I would like to apply.

I graduated with a bachelor's degree in International Relations in 2005 from Padjadjaran University, Bandung, Indonesia. Since my goal is to become a diplomat and to deal with issues associated with international relations, I intend to pursue a master's degree in that field.

The emphasis of my studies to date has been the fundamental principles of international relations. I have also studied diplomacy and negotiation, foreign policy analysis, and issues of international relations, such as gender studies in world politics. All these have enhanced my understanding of world events, their impacts (especially on my own country) and how to approach them.

I am eager to participate in your program, and I believe that my education and working experience offer sufficient background for matriculation towards your masterâs degree. Please find enclosed a copy of my curriculum vitae with additional information about my qualifications.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Franky C. L. Silalahi