Search results for 'tag:Jokes tag:British accent' matching tags 'Jokes' and 'British accent'

Re: Have a question about British accent.

Prez1dent — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 11:08:15 GMT

My friend Gogi Shevchebadze (he is Georgian) talks me that he's speaking English as good as American. He is a lamer and he talks me that then he taked gashish. It is not a joke!

Re: Accent Problem

Marvin A. — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 04:18:14 GMT

No actually I wouldn't say she speaks very clearly. Some of the extreme RP pronounciation is quite odd. It is so clipped that some words are hard to understand.

If you think it is beautiful, that's fine. But this accent is the butt of many jokes. It is an extreme upper class accent <<

Well, it sure sounds terrific in North America. It's probably the easiest British accent for us to understand. If you could pull it off well, and came to visit the other side of the puddle, you'd probably have people lining up to hear you speak.

Re: American Slang!!

Exclusive — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 04:06:04 GMT

Nona The Brit wrote:
No, USA natives don't learn British English and British natives don't learn American English.

Only if you are an actor or you are messing about with an accent for a joke or something - and I have to say that 95% of American attempts at British accents are appalling! I'm sure the reverse is true too. Most people can't even do authentic sounding imitations of the different accents of their own countries.

hey nona

what you saying is right.. it's really hard to learn british accent for me but i like it tho

Re: Received Pronunciation & Mid Atlantic English

Colombo — Tue, 16 May 2006 10:41:48 GMT

Tallulah Tam wrote:

I feel that Alan Jay Lerner was not so concerned about his own grammar when he wrote the song, he insults the intelligence of the audience by using the word "hung" incorrectly, especially when putting the words into the mouth of Professor Higgins who as I said, should, and most likely would, have known better. Also the rhyming is bad.

Henry, 'Look at her, a prisoner of the gutter,
Condemned by every syllable she ever uttered.
By law she should be taken out and hung,
For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue.'

I would modestly suggest:-

Look at her, a prisoner of the gutter,
Condemned by every syllable to utter.
By law she should be taken out to hang
For the cold-blooded murder of the English twang.

First of all, I like your version of the verse! But then, does "murdering the English twang" make one deserve being hanged? (I'm sure I'm slipping up with my grammar here!) Isn't twang one of the things that murders the English tongue? (I'm intending no pun or joke, it's only a vocabulary question.)

I've always taken for granted that Alan Jay Lerner, being an American, would take great care not only over making Higgins' speech irreproachable, but also over avoiding americanisms and anachronisms. As far as I know he's done the latter, but I'm amazed to find ungrammatical sentences from Higgins! Even if it's for the sake of rhyming, I think he should have tried to think of something better. After all, it's his job... But Tallulah, you say the rhyming is bad. Is it? I've just looked it up in the dictionary, and all the words seem to rhyme well (the exact words in the song are "gutters" and "utters").

Incidentally, all the rhyming words ("gutters", "utters", "hung" and "tongue") contain a vowel sound (that represented by an inverted v) that I think Scousers pronounce in a funny way. As an anecdote related to English accents, in the English examinations over here there always are several questions about phonetics (which, more than my cup of tea, are my cup of bitterness). Well, the only questions about vowel sounds I have some chance of getting right are those about this "inverted v" sound. All I have to do is to imagine how George Harrison or Ringo Starr would pronounce a word, and I know whether it contains that sound or not. Stupid little trick... But it works.

Tallulah Tam wrote:

Personally I DO think such a transformation is possible one only has to witness the transformations of Glynnis Paltrow and Madonna who now speak better English than the English. I am also personally acquainted with a Dutch Professor who speaks perfect English with Received Pronunciation and no trace of a foreign accent. Richard Burton is another example; when once asked how he managed to lose his Welsh accent he replied, "blood, sweat and tears". I don't know how old you are, but perhaps you remember The Jenkins brothers Clive and Roy? British politicians. To hear them speak you would not have believed they were reared in the same household. Clive had a very thick Welsh mining community accent but Roy who won a scholarship to Oxford cultivated a Received Pronunciation accent so far back it was almost ridiculous.

No, I had never heard of the Jenkins brothers (probably I'm too young, or maybe they're not so well known outside of England, I don't know). But, apart from the Dutch professor, I think all the persons you've mentioned have English as their mother tongue (people from Wales speak both English and Welsh, don't they?) So I wonder whether all they have to do is to get used to pronouncing certain sounds in the proper places. I mean, when I speak English my main difficulty is to try to produce sounds that are not in my own language and that I haven't got accustomed to hearing from an early age. I simply can't do it with most of them. But when Eliza Doolittle says, for example, that "the ryne in spine sties minely in the pline", although it's all wrong, I don't think she is uttering any sound that doesn't belong to "normal" English; only that she uses them where they don't belong. (Although, of course, I'm on dangerous ground here; I know very little about English accents and my ear isn't sharp, to say the least, so maybe Eliza's speech is full of non-standard sounds.)

Tallulah Tam wrote:

My handy encyclopedia is Macmillan's, and it only lists Sir Rex Harrison, (Reginald Carey Harrison) as a British actor, followed by his achievements. It does not mention his place of birth. But actors are usually exceptionally good at mimicry (although Robert Redford refused to learn a British accent for his part in "Out of Africa"). Sir John Mills for instance was never heard speaking in any other accent but what was considered to be a high class English accent, except if the part called for it, such as in "Ryan's Daughter, but someone once commented that his natural accent was quite a strong West Country accent. James Mason is yet another example who killed his Huddersfield accent to play upper class British gentlemen in his films. The first time I heard James Mason speak with a flat accent (in a film) I was quite shocked! As you say, it would have been "a bit shocking" to have heard Rex Harrison speak with a Liverpudlian accent.

Rex Harrison was born very near Liverpool (in a place called Huyton, I think), but what I don't know is what is considered the scouse area. I suppose that, even if it's not properly a Scouser, Rex Harrison's accent can't be very different from it... Now that you mention all those examples of actors' accents, I realize that watching all the films dubbed doesn't help to learn to speak English, does it? I think I have seen less than ten films in English in all my life. There are some cinemas that show films with subtitles (not in my town), but I loathe them. I'm not used to it, so when I go to one of these cinemas I cannot watch the film, I spend all my time reading the subtitles! "My Fair Lady" is one of the exceptions; I bought the DVD and now I almost know it by heart in English.

(Now starts the off-topic section. My apologies!)

As to the film "Pygmalion", I recorded it from the TV a couple of years ago, only to find that, with those nasty timetables, the film had started more than one hour too late, and I could only see the beginning. So I cannot compare it to "My Fair Lady". But I had already heard that it was much more faithful to Shaw's play than "My Fair Lady". Probably, "Pygmalion" expresses much better Eliza's pride, intelligence, idependence, etc. As Shaw said at the end of the play, "Galatea never does quite like Pygmalion: his relation to her is too godlike to be altogether agreeable" (I liked it, so I learned it by heart). However, Alan Jay Lerner preferred his own ending (which I have found purists and feminists equally abhor ). When he wrote "My Fair Lady" (the theatre play) he explained how Shaw had written a sequel in which Eliza ends up with Freddy and not with Higgins. Lerner also said "Shaw and Heaven forgive me!, I am not certain he is right" (once again, I liked it ). I suppose that's the schmaltzy in me, but I prefer "My Fair Lady"'s ending! As to the scenes that quotation mentions... "Stiff and affected"... It's a good excuse to watch it all again, although I suspect what my verdict will be (I'm slightly partial to "My Fair Lady", hadn't you realized it?)

hellooooo,any British guy..

The Sweet Desert — Sat, 27 Aug 2005 01:19:58 GMT

I've got a proplem and that's why I feel depressed.It started when I was in kindergarten during which my love for English started.My teachers taught me using the British accent and I think that now (23 yars old) I'm good at English.I even took a cource in the British Council here in Saudi Arabia. Well, where's my problem?? I sometimes feel that I know nothing and I hesitate before talking because most of my pals speak the American accent. I know that it's not a big problem but you don't know how much disappointed I get when I listen to their jokes about my accent.When I read a novel ,of course I'm not a native speaker, I feel depressed when I find any new word and then I say,' You will never learn.'Please help me I know that the people resposible for this forum will never let me down. Please advice me..

Re: Have a question about British accent.

tragically_l33t — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 02:56:45 GMT

yeah water is one of the more difficult words to say with an american accent because the brits say it as

"war ter" the americans... i think its "wha tuh" there arent many british sounds like that, its like the russians they use lots of sounds that just dont exist in english as do the chinese and japanese.

the other hard word to say with an american accent is "squirrel" i overheard and english man and his american wife/fiancee/girlfriend asking their little son what this thing was, the father said "its a squirrel" and the mother said "no its 'squirl'" and they argued for 15 minutes like this (i followed on a path next to it just to hear this interesting argument)

now ive just took some painkillers and im going to go to bed because, and i know your all going to laugh, but my eyebrow hurts!

infact thats something that your not supposed to do in english writing but its necessary to properly transcribe speech patterns... the pauses are showed with commas. that sentence should be read with a pause at each comma as it shows one thought being interrupted with a second, related thought and then the first thought being finished. I forget what thats called, but its against the rules of english grammar but necessary to properly get across thoughts. like capitals show shouting or angry, italics or underlining shows emphasis on a word... all necessary to make a thought understood.

id have an example but you might not read them right, if i could record and play it to you... infact it just doesnt work... this is the reason people dont understand british humour, its subtle, and if you dont come from britain, then you dont read it with a british accent and you miss the subtle changes in tone and pitch that make british jokes funny.

this is why british TV is said to be "dumbed down" for american audiences... its only because you dont use and therefore wouldnt be receptive to the subtleties (is that even a word? i dont know, or frankly care, if it is) (( infact, that there is another example of subtle tone change, the bit "or frankly care" should be said with a lower pitch, as if it was aimed at yourself, said under you breath kind of thing, read that without changin tone and it comes across as "i dont know and i dont care!!!" but lower your tone with the commas and it becomes something with a different meaning alltogether: "i dont know, and it doesnt really matter anyway so why am i telling you that im not sure how its spelt, ha ha, isnt this funny how im saying things that arent important" and a brit would laugh at that... maybe you will (if your not british) when you read it spelled out for you... and thats why its seen as 'dumbing down' because we have to spell it out or you miss it as a quirk of the british accent

i hope that made sense because its a zillion degrees in here (maybe im ill... that would explain the eyebrow hurting, at least its better than being crazy, or maybe its because im in an enclosed room with a computer on heating the air to 40 degrees then spitting it out, ill open a window) and its 3 am

Re: Have a question about British accent.

Guest — Wed, 30 Mar 2005 04:59:21 GMT

A couple of points.

1) I have a suggestion as to the reason why people from the u.s. think they have an enormous variety of accents, but no-one else does. This could be due to the typical u.s. insular, isolationist attitude which means they are often ignorant of the outside world in a number of ways. A good example of this being their regular failure to distinguish between British, Australian and New Zealand accents, so much so that I've actually seen a few jokes and allusions to this in productions involving any of the aforementioned nationalities. Because of this, people from the u.s. don't have the same idea of what an accent is. A dictionary definition that closely resembles mine is something to the effect of "a distinct manner of speech". To my mind at least, pronouncing a few words slightly differently and/or using a few different nouns does not constitute two separate, distinct accents. As such, this is why I generally refer to an "american accent". If I was being generous I could maybe come up with a few, such as "new york & whichever the surrounding area(s) are that are similar)", "bible belt (I think americans themselves refer to this as southern or south western)", "surfer/annoying teenager (often heard uttering "Oh my God, like, whatever, dude" etc.), possibly California or Florida" and finally, "the rest". This is off the top of my head and as I say, I'm being generous, I wouldn't really call them distinct accents normally. If you want to hear accents, I suggest you spend ten minutes talking to a Cockney, then a Scouser, followed by someone from the West Country, then Northern Ireland, then a Yorkshireman, a Welshman, a Geordie, an Orkney Islander, a Brummie, a Glaswegian and finally, HM Queen Elizabeth II (although she's been dumbing down her accent in recent years), and those are just the few most distinct ones I can think of off the top of my head. These are what I call accents because everything is pronounced differently, not just certain words, also, the sentence structure used by a Yorkshireman and especially someone from the West Country can be decidedly "non-standard". Finally, some of the words used by Scotsmen and Irishmen (generally from Celtic/Gaelic languages) as well as the rhyming slang of the Cockneys, haven't necessarily filtered throughout the entire country, let alone the world, so you may struggle to know exactly what they're talking about.

2) Yanks cannot do British accents (and by "British" I obviously mean RP and Cockney. Not that they can do other British accents, just that they've never tried). This might be for similar reasons to 1). If highly paid hollywood "stars" with the best speech therapy money can buy can't manage it, I doubt "average Joe" can. Brad Pitt was desperate to appear in Guy Ritchie's next film after seeing Lock, Stock, but Guy discovered that no matter how hard he tried, Brad couldn't manage a British accent. Brad had to be the pikey fighter, even though he was worried about being typecast so soon after Fight Club, because no-one could really question his accent. Having said that, recently Angelina Jolie did a surprisngly adequate accent in the Tomb Raider film. Which reminds me, what did you americans think of Daniel Craig?

Chameleon - Your knowledge about life anytime other than the present, and how languages develop is shocking.

Xam0 - Your attempts at phonetic spelling are strange. I'm sure you don't say "dog, frog, kat, mat, map and hat", I've never heard any american pronounce them like that.

YoungCalifornian - The theory that Americans have superior diction to Britons is hilarious and patently untrue, unless of course the person who came up with it only had experience of the Mockneys of "EastEnders".

Trevor

Re: Whats the differences?

LanguageLover — Sun, 27 Feb 2005 21:46:30 GMT

Dear CalifJim,
Thanks for the comment. Casi and some of the friends here reminded us that of some communities that would learn the British accent easier than the American. Actually, it depends on their first language to feel more comfortable with one of these, rather than the other. For example, it's very easy for the German speakers not to pronounce /r/ in certain contexts in British English. And as a Persian speaker familiar with the lphonetics, I'm aware that the position of Persian phonemes is closer to American rather than British. That's why it's easier for Iranians to speak with an American accent, and understand it better.
This topic reminded me of a joke I've read somewhere. That goes like this: English is a language with Anglo-Saxon(?)(I do not remember if it was Anglo-Saxon mentioned in the joke!) words written in French and pronounced in German! Ha ha.
Quite interestingly, the influence of German pronounciation on British English is still very obvious. And Germans speak British the best among the foreigners, because of that.
You may also find this link interesting:http://www.ling.upenn.edu/phono_atlas/ICSLP4.html
(It's about the phonemic variations throughout the US and its maps)
Cheers,

Re: (Teachers Wanted)-Guangzhou, China-Hiring English Teachers

Guest — Fri, 14 Jan 2005 17:48:15 GMT

Dear Cheiron,

APPLICATION FOR ESL POSITION
I hereby apply for teaching position in your glorious noble citadel of higher learning for the English language instructor as advertised on the website page.
I am a qualified and Experienced ESL teacher both home and abroad here in China.
I am young,agile,hardworking and reliable English teacher using different methods of passing the knowledge to students both in-class and out-class.
I bagged Bachelor degree of Education in English language and Literature as well as TESOL and TEFL certificates from Trinity college, London and Lagos institute of Linguists,Nigeria respectfully.
I am ready to deliver my best and make my class academically active and morally develop by integrating learning while laughing.
Attached is a copy of my resume that will spell out what I have in stock to offer.
Thanks for your anticipated cooperation and consideration.

Yours faithfully,
Jimoh Kamoli O.

CURRICULUM VITAE

JIMOH KAMOLI OLANREWAJU.
Sabo Yaba Lagos, Nigeria.
E mail: jimohshina@yahoo.co.uk
............................................................................................................................................................................

ADDITINAL INFORMATION
Discipline
English language and Literature.
Degree
Bachelor of Education (B.ed); NCE; OND,TEFL and TESOL.
Language 1
English language.
Sex
Male.
Date of Birth
14th August,1976
Country
Nigeria: Former Colony Of Britain
Colour
Black

ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS
UNIVERSITY OF LAGOS, Nigeria. 1995 to 1999.
Bachelor of education in English language and Literature [B.ed].

OSUN STATE COLLEGE OF TECHNOLOGY, Nigeria. 1994 to 1996.(Part ime)
National Diploma in Banking and Finance (OND)

OSUN STATE COLLEGE OF EDUCATION, Nigeria. 1991 to 1994.
National certificates of Education [NCE}.

LAGOS INSTITUTE OF LINGUISTS, Nigeria. 1999.
TEFL certificate.

TRINITY COLLEGE,London. 1999.
Teachers of English to the speakers of other languages [TESOL]

SKILLS
Information Technology and Use of Language
Proficiency in the use of English language and flawless British accent.
Knowledgeable in Business English,Business Mathematics and general Conversational English.
Users of various internet features such as the internet Explorer,Microsoft Outlook,Microsoft word and Excel etc.
Training sports and sporting activities like football game,table tennis and so on.

Research work Conducted
Creating an English speaking environment-Problems,Prospects, Challenges and Recommendations.[Case study of Hunan Agricultural University Campus,Changsha,China].
Foreign Language-Chances and Challenges.
The effects of Monetary Policy on Commercial Banks of Nigeria [Case study of First Bank of Nigeria].
Campus Pollution-Causes,effects and recommendations [Hunan Agricultural University,Changsha,China].

GOAL
Creating Happiness in the mind of people is the source of my happiness and target.
Creating a lively and conducive learning atmosphere for my student and a close a relationship with them in and out of the class.

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY
OMOLEYE PRIVATE GRAMMAR SCHOOL, Osogbo. 1994-1995.
Teaching of English grammar and oral English language.
Assisting in developing and upgrading curriculum to meet the present taste of the study.
Training and organising soem sporting activies between different classes in the institution.

JEROG VOCATIONAL TRAINING SCHOOL, Enugu,Nigeria 2000-2001.
Teaching of Conversational and Business English.
Teaching of Business Mathematics to the business majored students.
Partaking in the community development program as a volunteer graduate student.
Organising a private classes for the finalist middle school students during my National Youth Service Corps [NYSC] in Enugu.

SAINT PATRICK COLLEGE, Lagos,Nigeria 2001-2003.
Teaching and Modification of English language curriculum to meet up with the students' demand.
Organising some role plays among the students of the institution.
Acting as the sport instructor in the college

CORNER STONE ENGLISH LANGUAGE SCHOOL,Xinzheng,Henan Province:China. [Summer Camp 2003]
Teaching of Oral English language to the middle school students.
Taking the students out for some games and fun in English language.
Using cards to speed up their rate of grabbing the foreign language.

HUNAN UNIVERSITY OF AGRICULTURE,Changsha China. Sept 2003 to August 2004.
Teaching of conversational English language to the post graduate students of the institution.
Teaching of Oral English language to the English Major students.
Teaching Newspaper reading to the English Major students.
Participating in training foreign language departments team how to play football well.

KIDDIES COLLEGE,Changsha China (Part-time) Oct 2003 to June 2004.
Teaching English language to grade five students

ACHIEVEMENT
Gaining a visible progress in my teaching through motivation and the friendliness.
Restoring the chinese students confidence and change their usual saying "My English is poor" and change it to "I will try my best"

Author of two English language textbooks to be published soon in,Hong Kong, China.

Titles:
Communication made easy
Sports English

Who am I?
Young,Energetic,Humble,Enthusiastic,Dynamic,easy going and willingly ready to impact and gain knowledge to and from people respectively.

HOBBY
Playing football,Table tennis, Surfing Internet and Cracking jokes.

Referees
Mr Peter Bowling
Director of Corner stone English language school,
Xinzheng,Henan Province
E mail peter_bowling@hotmail.com

Ms Guo Yajuan Dorothy
International Exchange Division
Hunan Agricultural University
Changsha,China.
0731 4618784
13975116328
E mail gyj@hotmail.com

Professor Gablow Raymond
Head of department of English language
University of Lagos.
E-mail gablow_raymond@yahoo.co.uk

Re: Computers in the classroom.

Mike in Japan — Tue, 20 Jan 2004 01:54:30 GMT

That's too close to the truth Woody. Sometimes I hear a slightly Aussie accent reflected in the speech of my students, especially the strong Aussie AY sound ... pay may, day etc.
I don't worry too much about this though because it is usually a sound that most Japanese have difficulty making.
I have noticed that my own accent has changed a lot since I've been teaching, as a result of trying to project a neutral or even slightly British accent. I recently spoke to my brother by phone in Aus. and he said I sounded like a Pom!!! I guess that can't be ALL bad
How about you Woody? Do you think your speech habits have changed since you started teaching?

PS One of my favourite pronunciation exercises is to get students to repeat " Give me a VB please" Its very difficult for Japanese to make V L and B sounds ... even the students wind up laughing their heads off at this one, because it makes them sound drunk. I often joke "No, you've had too many already"