Search results for 'tag:Jokes tag:Expressions' matching tags 'Jokes' and 'Expressions'

Help me repair the damage

MarvinTheMartian — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 16:25:29 GMT

Hi,

As many of you know by now, it's very hard for me to maintain a satisfactory level of language due to my brain's vulnerability to broken English. One grammatical mistake or unidiomatic expression is often enough to impair my verbal skills for days - sometimes weeks or months. It doesn't help that most of my friends are non-native speakers. One of them in particular - a French-speaking Lebanese guy - seems to have a knack for confusing me and making my mind go "tilt!" like a pinball machine. He often uses odd constructions like "He made me a joke" (which, as far as I can figure, either means "He played a joke on me" or "He told me a joke.") The other day, I was showing him the classic comedy "The Return of the Pink Panther". At the part where Inspector Clouseau crashes a car into a swimming pool for the second time, he exclaimed something along the lines of:

"They had not even finished fishing out the first car and he's driving a second car into the swiming pool."

Actually, what he said was a lot more jumbled. Still, despite my "improvements", there's something about this sentence that doesn't quite seem to work... I've spent the last two days trying to pinpoint the problem to no avail. Is my confusion justified, or is this just the result of a bias I've developped against my friend's poor command of English? What do you think? Have I become so paranoid that I automatically dismiss eveything he says as "poor English"?

Before I sign off, here's something else he said that sounded weird to me. Explaining the behavioral differences between cats and dogs, he said something like:

"When you point at something for a dog, he looks at the thing being pointed. When you point at something for a cat, he looks at your finger."

Once again, the meaning is clear, but the syntax is just weird. The only alternate wording I can think of right now is "When you point something out to a dog, etc." but there's no way I can be sure if that's actually an improvement... In my present state of confusion, I can't tell what works and what doesn't. Could someone please help me here?

P.S.: It will probably be days before I can speak and write normally again... If you find any mistakes in my post or deem a sentence to be poorly wordred, please let me know. It will help me regain my proficiency.

Re: US intervention

Avangi — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:18:05 GMT

Cool Breeze
I never said Rome was the first evil empire. I didn't use the term at all. I just said it waged unjustified wars. Of course it wasn't the first empire to do that.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.
I thought your point was, nobody in western civilization questions the morality of the Roman conquests, because history is written from "their" point of view. And therefore as westerners we take the view that conquest by a western power is always for the benefit of mankind. I know this is absurd, but it sounded to me as if this is what you were saying. I'm glad you cleared it up.

"Evil empire" was a bad choice of terms on my part. I meant to say that students (even in the west) now know that the world did not begin with Romulus and Remus, and in fact don't view world affairs in terms of western tradition.

I believe that "evil empire" was coined by one of Bush's writers. I assumed everyone would take it (as I do) for a childish expression. Bad joke, sorry. (Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it goes back to Reagan.)

Thanks, - A.

Re: Politically correct term for black people

Kooyeen — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:44:51 GMT

I just think that one about the black coffee is pretty much of a joke. If it ever happened, well, just an isolated case, and funny (or stupid, depending on how you look at it) too.

You don't need to be politically correct, you just need to say sensible things, and doing that is not simple, because it varies a lot from case to case. Sometimes you'll sound silly if you try to be politically correct, or even offensive at worst. And sometimes you won't sound offensive even if you use very controversial expressions. As most people know, black Americans sometimes use the N-word to address each other, in both friendly and unfriendly ways. But not every black person does that, and white people in general should stay away from that word... As you see, language is very complicated, and there's no need to complicate it further trying to introduce politically correctness everywhere. Just use common sense, if you have some.

Re: "Circle"

Clive — Sat, 24 May 2008 00:46:09 GMT

Hi,

Please, is it correct to say : "Let's make a semi-circle here' . Fine.

And what do we say when someone loses e.g. a bet or a game and has to do something funny as consequence. For example: To sing a song or to mimic/imitate an animal, say a funny joke, etc... ? There's the expression 'pay a forfeit', although this perhaps seems a little old-fashioned today.

Last question: Is it correct to say : " I work at the human resource area/department (or just: at the human resource) of a hotel"

Here are a few possibilities.

" I work in the human resource area/department of a hotel".

" I work in human resources for a hotel".

" I work for a hotel in human resources."

" I'm in hotel human resources".

Best wishes, Clive

Re: why do I not have to do homework?

Avangi — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:10:54 GMT

New2grammar
What's C O D? Call of Duty ? How does that relate to the post as a joke?

I've gotta quit doin' this! I was picking up on anon's typo of "collect" in place of "correct." We have expressions like "collect call," where the person receiving the call must pay. "C.O.D." = "cash on delivery," which is an old old method of paying for shipped merchandise, in which the carrier collects for the price of the goods plus the shipping charge, and then returns the money to the sender (minus the shipping). The expression was so well-known it was often abused, i.e. applied loosely.

- A.

Re: can we say "i am likely to"

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 22:34:14 GMT

Â Thanks, Jim.Â

I want to MAKE SURE I understand your last part, and thus comes this follow-up message.

Is "NEVER I probably won't attend the meeting" simply a joke? or is it ACTUALLY a wrong expression in English?Â

If the former, I will take it as (a) it's ALWAYS GOOD to be positive; (b) it's ALWAYS BAD not to attend a meeting, even though you know you won't be getting anything out of it

If the latter, I will take it as (a) it is ONLY correct to say "I probably WOULDN'T attend the meeting", as the word "probably" conveys the connotation of uncertainty. As such, we could ONLY use "would", but not "will".Â

Need some clarification. ThanksÂ

Re: the joke's on you

Clive — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 01:46:40 GMT

Hi,

What does "on you" mean in the sentence "the joke's on you"?

It means that you are the butt or victim of the joke. The expression is often used in situations where the victim of the joke first thinks that someone else is the victim.

The expression is used in speaking of funny situations, and sometimes of situations that are not really funny. There can be an element of unkindness, of vindictiveness. eg

Person A: I have a knife. Give me all your money.

Person B: I'm a detective, and I have a gun. The joke is on you.

Best wishes, Clive

Re: comparison ...can't get the meaning

Avangi — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 03:33:36 GMT

If I understand you, number one is the correct analysis. Number two is extremely unlikely.

I think you're suggesting that instead of playing a laugh track to "infect" the audience with laughter, they might instead try having someone slip on a banana peel to generate the laughter; and if they did, it would not be as fast.

The blue sentence is used to elaborate the first sentence and is only meant to emphasize the speed. The stuff about artificially generating laughter comes later.

We have common expressions for speed, like "quick as a wink," "faster than you can say Jack Robinson." (Don't ask me where that came from!) The banana peel image is appropriate because of the show biz - vaudeville - pratfall - clown sort of connection. Banana peel jokes are common.

Re: laugh at many of his jokes

CalifJim — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 08:36:15 GMT

Technically, at doesn't refer to anything. at is not a referring expression. Generally, only nouns and pronouns can refer.

Nevertheless, I understand what you're saying.

Here at means 'upon hearing' or 'when I heard' or 'as I heard' or 'in reaction to' or 'as a reaction to'.

I didn't laugh upon hearing many of his jokes.

Re: binding promise

Susankay — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:31:32 GMT

I've got three questions here.

1) a binding promise ... -- according to a dictionary it's got the following meaing: binding (v) to fasten ..It means that there is more than just a promise, it is a promise that MUST be kept (bound to uphold; obligated, a duty to keep) You must read ALL the definitions in the dictionary. You just read the first one.

So I guess the meaning of the 'binding promise' is a promise that must be kept. yes.

2) Jocko the walrus -- well, I have no clue on this one...

3) Alex's smile drops -- Does this mean, he stops smiling because he could believe that Henry took his jokes so seriously? I think there is an expression for this, I mean in Alex's point of view... in the meanig of 'non-sense'...like the situation here, you say something for fun but the other person takes it so seriously ...do you know what I mean? anyway... "To "drop" a smile means that he no longer has an upturned face (smile). So his mouth was just straight across.