Search results for 'tag:Jokes' matching tag 'Jokes'

Re: last request

yizhivika — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:46:55 GMT

æ¨å¥½Ayvied,

Good joke! è°¢è°¢

David's father is seriously ill, so they had to fly him immediately to ~~the~~ a better hospital in another city. While they were on board his father kept vomiting and moaning of dizziness which made David ask, " Father, are you in much in pain?" his father answered, "NO, but I really hate flying".

After 2 days in the hospital, the doctor said, " I'm sorry, but your father's case is hopeless". David felt so sad, but talked to his father about what the doctor said. His father accepted his fate and said, "Wwell, if that's the case, listen carefully as I will tell you now about my last will and testaments". David listened carefully and sadly, but one last request his father asked was, "Son, if I~~'ll~~ die here in the hospital, please don't bring me home by plane, I HAVE AIR SICKNESS, you see".

last request

ayvied — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:19:03 GMT

Davids father is seriously ill so they had to fly him immediately to the better hospital in another city. While they were on board his father kept vomiting and moaning of dizziness which made David ask, " Father are you much in pain?" his father answered, "NO, but I really hate flying".

After 2 days in the hospital, the doctor said, " I'm sorry, but your father's case is hopeless". David felt so sad but talked to his father about what the doctor said. His father accepted his fate and said, " well, if that's the case, listen carefully as I will tell you now about my last will and testaments". David listened carefully and sadly but one last request his father asked was, "Son, if I'll die here in the hospital, please don't bring me home by plane, I HAVE AIR SICKNESS, you see".

Re: party like it's 999

Grammar Geek — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:40:35 GMT

Hi Aedilis, and welcome to the English Forums.

Yes, of course you can posts questions like that, or any other that relate to English grammar, vocaulary, or comprehension!

Many people predicted terrible things or the end of the world when the year 2000 was just ahead. The idea about partying like it's 1999 (Nineteen ninenty-nine) is that you don't have a care in the world, because it may all be over the next day. Have a good time now; the future is uncertain.

Was the context for this quote something set in the Middle Ages? If so, it was a joke, referencing this attitude of 1999 (and a song by the same title.)

Californication Season 1

JCDenton — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 21:49:07 GMT

Hi guys,

Have someone seen it? When my colleague was recommending me this show, he told me:" Man, be ready for the awesome jokes about sex and most off all on excellent David Duchovny". Truth be told, I was kinda doubtful about that, 'cause last thing where David Duchovny's perfomance didn't sucked were the X-Files...At least I haven't seen a good movie with him after that. I guess Californication was David's second chance and imho he grabbed it. No surprise that he won the Golden Globe for that and I strongly disagree with the opinion which I read somewhere on the internet that he won it just because he had there a sex with three womans per episode.... Little introduction, David personates there Hank Moody. Hank is a pessimistic and self-loathing writer who's career is coming to an end, because his muse left him. So Hank is hanging around in Los Angeles and having...ehm..one night relations with womans.... Of course, it's not just about that. The dialogs are well-written and funny. I handled whole season within the last two days and I really enjoyed that even if the english in there was total hardcore, but portal urbandictionary.com helped in almost all cases...Have someone seen Californication?...

Best scene for me...:-)

Becca (Hank's daughter) to Hank: Father...Why is there naked lady in your bedroom? There's no hair on her vagina...Do you think she's ok?

Hank: I'll check...

Here are some other scenes..

Best Regards

JCD

Re: Pink and Blue

bruno_ts — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 21:35:33 GMT

Here in Brazil is the same, girls use all colors and boys too, except pink! 'xD
But there some guys who use light pink in shirts (employers, for example), and teenagers and 20 - 30 age mans who use pink only to joke!

Re: Studies have proven that good sleep is very essential for proper working of the brain...

Peaceblinkfriend — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:06:53 GMT

Kooyeen

Jackson6612
Some say sleep as little as possible because the time you sleep is wasted

I guess that's what Japanese workers say. I heard one guy even died because he worked too much. Some only sleep for three hours, and they don't even go home... they sleep in the office to save time. LOL, ok, maybe it's not so in general, but I was told it's not a joke, and it actually happens.

Wow. They must either be paid a lot or are totally in love with their company. A bit of downshifting might do these people some good. Though this is probably another reason why the Japanese invent tons of time-saving and cool gadgets which make their lives so much comfortable and I guess in this case, 'so maximized'.

PBF

Re: no fool vs. not fool

Anonymous — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:50:05 GMT

He's no fool

It doesn't necessarily mean their smart it just means they aren't stupid.

This is serious

Its used to convey the severity of a matter. So it could be used to get someone to stop laughing cause they think your telling a joke or it could be used to grab someone's attention who was kinda bored, not interested, or just not paying attention.

no fool vs. not fool

Infinik — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:01:03 GMT

Hi,

When people say:

He's no fool.

Does it mean "he is smart" but not "he is not a fool"?

Likewise, the following means "this is serious" but not "this is not a joke".

This is no joke.

Thanks for clarification,

i

Re: the reason

Tanit — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 19:46:57 GMT

Buddhist-Accountant
the answer is B " Happened"

But,I wonder why that is the answer.I think it should be use "was happened" because it is passive..

Hi,

Why do you think it should be passive? Only transitive verbs (i.e. those that need to be followed by direct objects, without any preposition) have passive forms, and "happen" is intransitive.

To put it simply (and only as a rough guideline):
    Write => transitive verb:
        Active: My friend John wrote a letter.
        Passive: A letter was written by John.
    Laugh => intransitive verb:
        Active: Yesterday, I laughed at my friend's joke.
        No passive (we cannot say "~~My friend's joke was laughed~~")

Happen => intransitive verb:
        Active: Yesterday, something weird happened to me.
        No passive (we cannot say "~~I was happened something weird~~")

Does this help?

A Little Help with Capitals

angel_tristan0409 — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 10:07:10 GMT

A Little Help with Capitals

This handout lists some guidelines for capitalization. If you have a question about whether a specific word should be capitalized that doesn't fit under one of these rules, try checking a dictionary to see if the word is capitalized there.

Use capital letters in the following ways:

The first words of a sentence

When he tells a joke, he sometimes forgets the punch line.

The pronoun "I"

The last time I visited Atlanta was several years ago.

Proper nouns (the names of specific people, places, organizations, and sometimes things)

Worrill Fabrication Company

Golden Gate Bridge

Supreme Court

Livingston, Missouri

Atlantic Ocean

Mothers Against Drunk Driving

Family relationships (when used as proper names)

I sent a thank-you note to Aunt Abigail, but not to my other aunts.

Here is a present I bought for Mother.

Did you buy a present for your mother?

The names of God, specific deities, religious figures, and holy books

God the Father

the Virgin Mary

the Bible

the Greek gods

Moses

Shiva

Buddha

Zeus

Exception: Do not capitalize the non-specific use of the word "god."

The word "polytheistic" means the worship of more than one god.

Titles preceding names, but not titles that follow names

She worked as the assistant to Mayor Hanolovi.

I was able to interview Miriam Moss, mayor of Littonville.

Directions that are names (North, South, East, and West when used as sections of the country, but not as compass directions)

The Patels have moved to the Southwest.

Jim's house is two miles north of Otterbein.

The days of the week, the months of the year, and holidays (but not the seasons used generally)

Halloween

October

Friday

winter

spring

fall

Exception: Seasons are capitalized when used in a title.

The Fall 1999 semester

The names of countries, nationalities, and specific languages

Costa Rica

Spanish

French

English

The first word in a sentence that is a direct quote

Emerson once said, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

The major words in the titles of books, articles, and songs (but not short prepositions or the articles "the," "a," or "an," if they are not the first word of the title)

One of Jerry's favorite books is The Catcher in the Rye.

Members of national, political, racial, social, civic, and athletic groups

Green Bay Packers

African-Americans

Anti-Semitic

Democrats

Friends of the Wilderness

Chinese

Periods and events (but not century numbers)

Victorian Era

Great Depression

Constitutional Convention

sixteenth century

Trademarks

Pepsi

Honda

IBM

Microsoft Word

Words and abbreviations of specific names (but not names of things that came from specific things but are now general types)

Freudian

NBC

pasteurize

french fries

italics