Re: May someone have a look at my LOM please?

anon1 — Sat, 05 Feb 2005 21:42:55 GMT

Cookey,

Should i write 'Letter of motivation' on top in bold letters and maybe underlined?

No.

Do i sign the letter personally later? If should i leave some spac between Yours respectfully and my name?

Yes, sign it personally, so leave appropriate space.

And where do i insert the date (and town)? - I would place it at the end on the right side of the page.

Donât worry about it for now. Weâll take of the details last.

Is the font size 11 or 10 ok (font- arial)

12 font size is appropriate and use a serif font, such as Times New Roman.

Your writing is still much too cluttered. You are trying to sound fancy but it reads a bit pretentious.

You want to eliminate âfluffâ and just communicate information.

I think I am going to have to provide a bit of a âkick-startâ to your letter.

Likes
-foreign countries and cultures

Strengths
-maths and sciences
-computer technology
-people, natural leader, organizer
-languages (English, German, Ilocano (Phillippine dialect), Spanish
-responsible
-accurate
-leader
-creative

Experiences
-travels
-merchandise center
-volunteer swim coach
-Internet company

I had to pick through your letter to find this stuff.

What you need to do is....

1) Determine your strengths
2) Think of experiences that examplify your strengths
3) Write about them

Dear Sir or Madam, [colon if in North America]

I am applying to the International Business programme. [program, if in NA]

Having graduating with a German diploma âAbiturâ in the summer of 2004, I want to continue my education. I am interested in studying international business because that field of study fits with my natural skills, aptitudes, and, most importantly, desire.

[Okay, so now you are set up to begin discussing YOU. You donât need to tell them what international business is. Nor do you need to tell them about efficient working styles and other blather. Instead, relate your strengths to business.

The previous stuff that I have written might be changed. But I wanted to give you something to work with for now.

You also have to be careful in your writing. For example, âHaving an affinity to logical thinking, mathematics and physics were my favourite subjects at the beginning of high school, besides English (and is English logical?).â Doesnât that seem wordy and pretentious to you? To me, I would say write, âMath and physics were my favorite subjects because they are very logical.â But having said that, hereâs the rub. Business isnât always logical. In fact, business is often subtle. So if you like âlogicalâ and âlinear,â then why are you not studying sciences? Youâve got lots of stuff to work with, so your challenge now is to craft a letter that relates your ânatural skills, aptitudes, and most importantly, desireâ to a career in business. You can do that by discussing your prior experiences.]

I completed Secondary School with the German diploma âAbiturâ in the summer of 2004 and now want to continue my education to obtain a Bachelor of Science in International Business. Thereafter, I would like to use the acquired knowledge and skills to continue in a masterâs programme, aiming to be well prepared to enter the business world. It is my ambition to enrich an internationally operating company or to start as an independent entrepreneur bringing in new ideas and an efficient working style.
The progress of globalisation and the development of global information networks make the possibility of studying international business attractive to me. And according to my great interest in foreign countries and their cultures, I believe that this is the right path for my future. It gives me the potentiality to bring in my skills in solving problems, organizing, communicating and leading.

Having an affinity to logical thinking, mathematics and physics were my favourite subjects at the beginning of high school, besides English. Finding clear answers to given problems, satisfied me. Therefore I chose informatics as an elective course. I enjoyed working with the computer and started using it as main equipment to present projects and as communicational medium. Today, I easily learn how to work with new programmes and use the internet for any kind of research and to keep in touch with people.

Due to the importance of friends in my life and through my sense of checking things from different perspectives, I often was seen as the confidant in a group. I also adopted this role during my school life and was chosen as class representative several years in a line. I liked keeping a group together, which led to my interest in organizing events, as for example a trip to six-flags (an amusement park in the Netherlands) with a group of twenty-five people.

My affection to travelling and exploring new cultures was evoked through my Philippine background and the wanderlust of my parents. Visiting the Philippines and travelling to several countries to which my relatives have emigrated to, taught me respect and how to deal with cultural differences.
My first independent journey to relatives in Canada, several school exchanges and youth trips to other countries motivated me to plan and carry out my first own voyage across the USA last summer. It was exciting and challenging as I paid and planed the whole trip on my own, but everything worked out well. While exploring new places and socializing with new people I had a great summer. When my friends took me along to their schools, my curiosity about studying abroad was aroused.

The interest in languages has been there since I have started to talk, as I have been raised trilingually: English, German (in which I am fluent) and Ilocano (Philippine dialect).This interest increased even more during high school. I always enjoyed speaking English with cousins and friends and later English was my favourite subject besides maths, which explains why I chose these subjects as my A-level courses, in senior classes. Knowing that Latin is the foundation of most languages I picked it as my second foreign language. Furthermore, did I participate in an unsolicited Spanish course after regular class and added French in an evening school for two semesters. Starting in the mid of February I will brush up my Spanish knowledge in an intensive Spanish course. When I started my occupation as an assistant in a department of international import, I came up with a new aim and interest in learning Chinese or Japanese. This idea was aroused through my contact to our suppliers and partners from all over the world and especially from Asia.

Besides my above mentioned current employment at the merchandise centre of the international company OBI (Germanyâs leading company of building centres), I have also gained working experiences in other areas. As a member of the German life saver association, I voluntarily coach younger swimmers, accompany youth trips of the club and work as an assistant life guard during the summer. Additionally, I used to serve in a hotel-restaurant on weekends and holidays to earn some extra money. I also experienced work in an online advertising company during my internship and had a job in a department of quality control. All these different employments taught me responsibility, how work within guidelines, to be accurate, how to motivate others and how to balance my time and priorities.
But the employment which influenced me most and which taught me mobility, co-operation and independence was my experience with the organization CA. I always had the aim to go abroad for a longer period after high school. So after graduating last year I went to a summer camp in Monticello, in New York State, and worked as a life guard, swimming coach and counsellor.
Living together with children for eight weeks and collaborating with counsellors from all over the world from various social and ethnic backgrounds, I had to face an exciting new challenge. At the end of camp though and after my above mentioned travelling session across America, I could look back on four months full of new experiences, memories and friends from all over the world. Working with children of the ages seven to seventeen, twenty-four hours almost seven days a week surely nurtured my creative side, as I always had to find a new way of entertaining them. As being a role model I also improved my skills in leading a crowd, mediating and solving problems. The most important thing I learned though was to be flexible and open towards new people and for ways of handling new situations.

Due to the international orientation of the UM I believe that the offered International business programme is totally suitable for me. It combines my passion for global communication, international mobility and a multicultural environment, as well as my impulse of organizing and leading projects in a professional way. Through my experiences in several jobs, my temporary employment abroad and my continuous voluntary work I learned the values of commitment, teamwork and of independence. These values represent the most important requirements to study on the principles of Problem Based Learning (PBL) and make me accomplish the expectations of the educational system, taught at the UM.

I am confident that with my strong motivation, my personality, my international and significant practical experiences and with the International Business programme on top, I will have a solid foundation for a successful and fulfilling career, in which I plan to weld relationships across cultures and ensure that intercultural communication takes place effectively.

Enclosed you will find all required documents for the International Business programme. Thank you for taking the time to consider my application. I look forward to getting a positive response and to having a great time in an outstanding educational program at the UM.

Yours respectfully,
XXX

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Re: May someone have a look at my LOM please?