Search results for 'tag:Marriage tag:Conversations' matching tags 'Marriage' and 'Conversations'

Re: led

Delmobile — Mon, 19 May 2008 12:46:50 GMT

In conversation, you would say "give away." The phrase I used is only for newspaper write-ups and things like that.

[conversation]

I want a real old-fashioned traditional wedding. I want to walk down the aisle with my daddy and have him give me away.

I was so touched when Stella asked me to give her away when she marries David this summer. I've been close to the family ever since her father died, but I didn't expect an honor like this.

[magazine story]

These days, brides may choose to be given in marriage by their father, or by both parents (as has always been the tradition for Jewish brides). Some brides prefer to walk up the aisle unescorted, emphasizing their independence. Some make the trip to the altar on the arm of the groom.

Re: Help proofreading "A Doll's House"

Mister Micawber — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 05:53:58 GMT

I have underlined some problem areas:

The Woman Within the Doll

The Baltimore Sun wrote that back in 1879, âA Doll's Houseâ by Henrik Ibsen âshocked and offended people wherever [it] was played,â and that the dramatist assured it was not about a woman, but about âanyone who had to live according to the rules created by othersâ (Hyder). Society thought to be outrageous that a woman would get involved in manly things, for her role in society was exclusively to care for the family and please her husband. Women did not enjoy the rights women do now. They were not taken seriously, and decisions were made by the man who was and still is considered the head of the family. Nora's choice to become free, independent and leave her husband, along with some of the characters' actions made this play to be scandalous for its time.

Ibsen wrote in a letter that the story in âA Doll's Houseâ was about a woman who feels:

" Oppressed and bewildered by belief in authority, she loses her faith in her own moral right and ability to bring up her children... [She is bittered because,] like certain insects, (ought to) go away and die when she has done her duty towards the continuance of the species... [she shakes] off of cares, [but then she feels] a sudden return of apprehension and dread. She must bear it all aloneâ (Doll).

Nora had a beautiful life, she had a husband, beautiful children, and everything she wanted. Earlier in her marriage, his husband suffered of an illness of which he needed to recover somewhere in the south, but this was concealed from him by the doctor and Nora. Not having the means to afford a trip so costly and out of love and desperation, Nora decides to ask for a loan without letting Tolvard know. She forges her father's signature to obtain the loan because she does not want to trouble her father either, who is very ill himself too. However, she is responsible and works secretly from home in order to make the payments. Eventually, Tolvard finds out about her secret and feels that his life, happiness and reputation will be lost once Krogstad, who lent the money, publishes the then scandalous situation out of revenged for having fired him from the bank he now manages. He quickly turns against her. That is the moment when Nora starts to understand things she did not understand before; she realizes she does not love Tolvard anymore just as he does not really love her as she thought, and decides to leave for good to discover herself. [Too many pronouns-- I don't know who's doing what to whom]

The scenery consists of the Helmer's apartment and nowhere else. The description of the apartment depicts the decision that Nora will have to make. There is a door to the right which leads to the entryway and another to the left which leads to Helmer's study. Nora will have to decide which door to take: freedom or Helmer [Tolvard / Helmer: we don't know if they are one or two]. The place is not âexpensively furnishedâ, but it is comfortable, just like Nora's marriage, she lives a comfortable life, but there are certain things she lacks that are more important than riches. No woman could even consider back in the 1800s doing such a scandalous things as to leave not only the husband, but her children too.

The main character in the story is Nora, a seemingly selfish, materialistic woman who cares a lot about money and in living a good life. This is to be expected since her father liked to spend money himself and live a life he could only could afford with credit. He used to called her his âdoll-child, and he played with [her] the way [she] played with [her] dollsâ (Ibsen 1041). She was obviously very protected and spoiled by both, her father and her husband, who provided anything she needed or wanted. Her father raised her not think for herself and just play her role in society. âWhile [she] was at home with [her] father, he used to tell [her] all his opinions, and [she] held the same opinions. If [she] had others [she] said nothing about them, because he wouldn't have liked itâ (1041) [All the bracketed pronouns are distracting; it would be better to give the exact quotes]. This repeated again as a married woman; she would not express her opinion to Tolvard, for they never talked seriously, but seemed to have trusted Dr. Rank better. Norah was greatly misunderstood. She was a loving person, she loved her husband so much that she was willing to forge her father's signature to obtain a loan to take her husband south in order for him to recover from a deadly illness [You said all this before; cut it.]. She is willing to do anything for him. Eventually she realized she does not have to play the doll anymore. One can only imagine people's reaction throughout the play's events.

Tolvard Helmer seemed [Be consistent in verb tenses] to be an ideal husband. He is loving, admirable, honest, ethical, hard-working and successful, but there seems to be a dark side of him. He is a prideful man, he won't ask for money to anyone, to [Commas are not conjunctions.] do so would be humiliating. To him, honor and appearances are more important than family. He does not believe people can change and become good, as he did not believe Krogstad was a good person although he had been honest for a long time already. Also, he is so affectionate that makes one wonder of his sincerity; he calls Nora diminutive names such as featherbrained, spendthrift [These are not diminutives.] , a squirrel, a song-bird, lark, strange little being all the time (994). One cannot think of a woman who would like being called like that and who would not be affected emotionally. Tolvard's reaction after finding out Nora's secret is amusing. He had told Nora that sometimes he wished â[she] was in some terrible danger, just so [he] could take [his] life and soul and everything, for [her] sakeâ (1038), yet he quickly turns against her calling her a wretched woman, a criminal, unprincipled, untrustworthy of raising her children, incapable, etc. His hypocrisy is clearly revealed when as soon as he realizes that Nora's mistake won't affect his reputation he forgives her (1039-1949). There's a saying that goes something like a good friend is hard to find, specially during difficult times; Tolvard was nor a good friend neither that perfect husband he seemed to be. He loved to have control of his wife's life, and his conversations usually tend to imply that Nora would be lost without him; that she needed his guidance and teaching. Tolvard did not love Nora, â[he] thought it fun to be in love with [her]â (1041).

Dr. Rank is in love with Nora, and that seems to have been the main reason he visited the Helmer's house. This character is not essential in the play, but it causes outrage when he dares to reveal Nora his secret. This is almost vulgar for him to do, and very dishonorable, specially during those times in which people were very conservative. It is as if he had taken advantage of the trust the family had in it and ended up tarnishing his reputation.

Mrs. Linde is one of Nora's old friends from school. She gave up her true love for money, but in the end things did not turn out the way she had expected. Her husband died leaving her in a terrible financial situation making [On the other hand, commas are essential for separating dependent clauses.] it necessary for her to work in order to sustain her mother and brothers. After her mother passed away and her brothers did not need her help she left town. Not to have someone to take care of made her feel âcompletely alone in the worldâ, and it frightened her âto be so empty and lostâ (1032). She needed âsomeone to take care ofâ, she wanted to be a mother and wanted the companionship of a husband. In the end, she was supposed to have helped Nora hide her secret. She could have convinced Mr. Krogstad to get the letter back, but she did not intercede (1033). She might have been envious of Nora, after all, Nora had all she was longing for; a husband, beautiful children, and a good life.

Lastly, Krogstad is the one who lent Nora money to save her husband, and threatens her to tell her husband if she does not convince Tolvard to let him keep his job at the bank, but just as Nora did, he once made a mistake, which caused him to loose his reputation. He was a man who seems to have been harden by life's difficulties. When he was left by the woman he dearly loved âit was as if all the solid ground dissolved from under [his] feetâ (1031). This might have caused him to become the âhalf-drownedâ kind of man, as he refers to himself. After finding love in his life he turns from the revengeful person into a forgiving one.

In conclusion, Nora realized of her true value as a human being and as a woman. She decides to leave everything and everyone, husband, children, luxuries to a journey to liberate herself. To do such thing was unthinkable at that time and caused turmoil, but it was the best choice she could ever make. To leave one's children is a terrible things to do and was not necessary, but looking beyond that, without prejudices, it is not hard to understands she is trying to figure out who she really is and what she believes in. This is essential to one's happiness; therefore she is determined to make necessary changes in her life even if people think bad of her. It seems that daring to do so back in the 1800s was just as bad as selling drugs or prostituting oneself.

Help proofreading "A Doll's House"

Anonymous — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 03:40:25 GMT

I have finished writing an essay, which is due tomorrow. As an ESL student, I have the feeling that I have a lot of grammatical mistakes. Is there any sentence where you wonder what the heck I am trying to say? Hope anyone can help!

The Woman Within the Doll

Ibsen wrote in a letter that the story in âA Doll's Houseâ was about a woman who feels:

ppressed and bewildered by belief in authority, she loses her faith in her own moral right and ability to bring up her children... [She is bittered because,] like certain insects, (ought to) go away and die when she has done her duty towards the continuance of the species... [she shakes] off of cares, [but then she feels] a sudden return of apprehension and dread. She must bear it all aloneâ (Doll).

The scenery consists of the Helmer's apartment and nowhere else. The description of the apartment depicts the decision that Nora will have to make. There is a door to the right which leads to the entryway and another to the left which leads to Helmer's study. Nora will have to decide which door to take: freedom or Helmer. The place is not âexpensively furnishedâ, but it is comfortable, just like Nora's marriage, she lives a comfortable life, but there are certain things she lacks that are more important than riches. No woman could even consider back in the 1800s doing such a scandalous things as to leave not only the husband, but her children too.

The main character in the story is Nora, a seemingly selfish, materialistic woman who cares a lot about money and in living a good life. This is to be expected since her father liked to spend money himself and live a life he could only could afford with credit. He used to called her his âdoll-child, and he played with [her] the way [she] played with [her] dollsâ (Ibsen 1041). She was obviously very protected and spoiled by both, her father and her husband, who provided anything she needed or wanted. Her father raised her not think for herself and just play her role in society. âWhile [she] was at home with [her] father, he used to tell [her] all his opinions, and [she] held the same opinions. If [she] had others [she] said nothing about them, because he wouldn't have liked itâ (1041). This repeated again as a married woman; she would not express her opinion to Tolvard, for they never talked seriously, but seemed to have trusted Dr. Rank better. Norah was greatly misunderstood. She was a loving person, she loved her husband so much that she was willing to forge her father's signature to obtain a loan to take her husband south in order for him to recover from a deadly illness. She is willing to do anything for him. Eventually she realized she does not have to play the doll anymore. One can only imagine people's reaction throughout the play's events.

Tolvard Helmer seemed to be an ideal husband. He is loving, admirable, honest, ethical, hard-working and successful, but there seems to be a dark side of him. He is a prideful man, he won't ask for money to anyone, to do so would be humiliating. To him, honor and appearances are more important than family. He does not believe people can change and become good, as he did not believe Krogstad was a good person although he had been honest for a long time already. Also, he is so affectionate that makes one wonder of his sincerity; he calls Nora diminutive names such as featherbrained, spendthrift, a squirrel, a song-bird, lark, strange little being all the time (994). One cannot think of a woman who would like being called like that and who would not be affected emotionally. Tolvard's reaction after finding out Nora's secret is amusing. He had told Nora that sometimes he wished â[she] was in some terrible danger, just so [he] could take [his] life and soul and everything, for [her] sakeâ (1038), yet he quickly turns against her calling her a wretched woman, a criminal, unprincipled, untrustworthy of raising her children, incapable, etc. His hypocrisy is clearly revealed when as soon as he realizes that Nora's mistake won't affect his reputation he forgives her (1039-1949). There's a saying that goes something like a good friend is hard to find, specially during difficult times; Tolvard was nor a good friend neither that perfect husband he seemed to be. He loved to have control of his wife's life, and his conversations usually tend to imply that Nora would be lost without him; that she needed his guidance and teaching. Tolvard did not love Nora, â[he] thought it fun to be in love with [her]â (1041).

Mrs. Linde is one of Nora's old friends from school. She gave up her true love for money, but in the end things did not turn out the way she had expected. Her husband died leaving her in a terrible financial situation making it necessary for her to work in order to sustain her mother and brothers. After her mother passed away and her brothers did not need her help she left town. Not to have someone to take care of made her feel âcompletely alone in the worldâ, and it frightened her âto be so empty and lostâ (1032). She needed âsomeone to take care ofâ, she wanted to be a mother and wanted the companionship of a husband. In the end, she was supposed to have helped Nora hide her secret. She could have convinced Mr. Krogstad to get the letter back, but she did not intercede (1033). She might have been envious of Nora, after all, Nora had all she was longing for; a husband, beautiful children, and a good life.

Works Cited

"A Doll's House." Triton College. 21 Feb. 2008 <http://academics.triton.edu/uc/files/dollshse.html>.

Hyder, Willian. "A Doll's House is No Toy Effort." Baltimore Sun. 15 Feb. 2008. 21 Feb. 2008 <http:// www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/howard/bal-ho.chesapeake15feb15,0,4775242.story>.

Ibsen, Henrik. "A Doll House." The Norton Introduction to Literature. New York: Norton & Co., 2006. 993-1045.

Re: Abortion..."Who's decision is it?"

Shea — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:32:51 GMT

A lot of interesting points of view. Reproductive choice is a difficult conversation to have, probably in any language. There is a lot of interesting vocabulary associated with the subject, if you're learning English.

The bottom line, in my opinion, is that women are not baby-making machines for the purposes of the government, corporations, families, or men. Regardless of the circumstances behind a pregnancy, it should be the personal, private choice of the potential mother whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term. Outside interference with this decisionâin any wayâis to remove the fundamental tenants of individual freedom and personal privacy.

Sex is not only for the purpose of procreation. We too often make the assumption that modern marriageâwhere man and wife love each other and choose to be togetherâis, and has been, the norm throughout time. In many culturesâsuch as the United States of America before the 1960'sâa woman might be the legal property of her parents until given in marriage (or some other arrangement) to a man, not necessarily of her choosing, even against her will. In such cases, sex might be used for the man's pleasure with little, or no thought to the possibility of pregnancy. Some women are sold into the sex trade, forced into prostitution, raped. There are any number of reasons why the "consequences" of sex might not be a result of choices made by a women. The option to not incubate a fertilized egg until it develops into a human life gives her the kind of dominion over her body that men assume, without hesitation, over their own.

Most importantly, sex will be had for pleasure whether all parties agree or not, either as an expression of love and intimacy, or out of lust and personal satisfaction. Making a child the punitive consequence of this reality does no one any good, the least of these the child.

Someone earlier said abortion was unnatural. How does he or she account for the fact that procedures for terminating pregnancy have existed throughout human history? That aside, women's bodies naturally abort pregnancies all the time (often without the woman's knowledge of the pregnancy). Is every one of these the death of a child? Should they be named and given funerals?

On a personal note: I have had close friends make the decision to have an abortion. In each of the cases, the choice was not taken lightly. There was worry and concern over whether the choice was wrongâwhether it was ending a human life. These questions can be debated by all, but the right to exercise complete control over one's body, to choose what happens to one's own body, should not be in question.

Re: thank you for helping me with this question...

Philip — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 19:30:54 GMT

Adrien wrote:

Hello everybody,

I watched a movie today, and there is a sentence in it which I don't understand. So anybody would like to help me with that? Anyway, thank you first...

The heroin in the movie is badly hurt by her boyfirend and she's mad at him but she's still believed in love. Then her roommate a tough girl who has an awful marriage and has divorced wants to help her. This tough girl has aready given up for men, and sometimes she even tends to like girls. This is the background of the movie, then here is the conversation between them which I wanna ask about.

The girl said: I don't think it's in me to be this bitter, male-bashing person like that lawer, or you.

Her roommate: I like man. Not the ones I've met. You'll be much happier once you accept that all the remantic notions you've had your entire life are crap. And the gender you were counting on to create your bliss is really just hot to get you in bed and move on.

The girl said: Your divorce is the most depressing thing that's ever happened to me.

I've no idea about the sentence in red. Especially what does "gender" here mean? Gender doesn't refer to male or female specifically, right? So what does she exactly mean? By the way, this movie is a kinda comic. Looking forward to your answers.........

I think it's just a funny way of referring to males.

thank you for helping me with this question...

Adrien — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 16:49:15 GMT

Hello everybody,

I watched a movie today, and there is a sentence in it which I don't understand. So anybody would like to help me with that? Anyway, thank you first...

The heroin in the movie is badly hurt by her boyfirend and she's mad at him but she's still believed in love. Then her roommate a tough girl who has an awful marriage and has divorced wants to help her. This tough girl has aready given up for men, and sometimes she even tends to like girls. This is the background of the movie, then here is the conversation between them which I wanna ask about.

The girl said: I don't think it's in me to be this bitter, male-bashing person like that lawer, or you.

Her roommate: I like man. Not the ones I've met. You'll be much happier once you accept that all the remantic notions you've had your entire life are crap. And the gender you were counting on to create your bliss is really just hot to get you in bed and move on.

The girl said: Your divorce is the most depressing thing that's ever happened to me.

I've no idea about the sentence in red. Especially what does "gender" here mean? Gender doesn't refer to male or female specifically, right? So what does she exactly mean? By the way, this movie is a kinda comic. Looking forward to your answers.........

Re: Islam:veiling women!

Nrbn — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 07:47:05 GMT

The position of women in Islam has recently been an issue of debate. Some misconceptions arise, either from traditional practices which are thought to be "Islamic," but are not, or else from prejudices. However, the real issue is how women are regarded in the Islamic faith, and when we look at this, we see that Islam gives women great social value, freedom and comfort.

Women in the Qur'an

God's commandments about the status of women and the relations between men and women, which have been revealed to us through the Qur'an, consist of full justice. In this regard, Islam suggests equality of rights, responsibilities and duties between the two genders. Islam is based on sympathy, tolerance and respect for human beings, and does not discriminate against women in this matter.

The examples of good morals communicated to us in the Qur'an are universally compatible with human nature, and are valid for all stages of history.

Respect for women and women's rights fall within this. In the Qur'an God insists that the tasks and responsibilities of women are the same as those of men. Furthermore, while performing these tasks and responsibilities men and women must help and support each other:

The men and women of the believers are friends of one another. They command what is right and forbid what is wrong, and establish prayer and pay alms, and obey Allah and His Messenger. They are the people on whom Allah will have mercy. Allah is Almighty, All Wise. (Qur'an, 9:71)

God emphasizes that believers will be rewarded in the same manner according to their deeds, regardless of their gender.

Their Lord responds to them: 'I will not let the deeds of any doer among you go to waste, male or female - you are both the same in that respect... (Qur'an, 3:195)

Anyone who acts rightly, male or female, being a believer, We will give them a good life and We will recompense them according to the best of what they did. (Qur'an, 16:97)

In another verse, Muslim men and women are considered together, and it is stressed that both have the same responsibility and status in God's sight:

Men and women who are Muslims, men and women who are believers, men and women who are obedient, men and women who are truthful, men and women who are steadfast, men and women who are humble, men and women who give alms, men and women who fast, men and women who guard their private parts, men and women who remember Allah much: Allah has prepared forgiveness for them and an immense reward. (Qur'an, 33:35)

In the Qur'an there are many more verses stating that men and women are exactly equal in terms of their tasks and responsibilities and their rewards or punishments in return. There are a few differences in social issues, but these are for the comfort and protection of women. The commands of the Qur'an regard the congenital differences between the two genders resulting from their creation, and suggest a system maintaining equal justice for men and women in this light.

Islam does not see women as objects. Therefore, it is not seen appropriate that a woman of good morals should marry a man of bad morals. In the same way, it is not permitted for a woman of bad morals to marry a man of good morals:

Corrupt women are for corrupt men and corrupt men are for corrupt women, Good women are for good men and good men are for good women. The latter are innocent of what they say. They will have forgiveness and generous provision. (Qur'an, 24:26)

Also as regards marriage, the duties and responsibilities of couples towards each other require equality. God demands that both spouses be protective of and supervise each other. This duty is expressed in the Qur'an in the following words.

They are covers for you and you for them... (Qur'an, 2:187)

Many rules and commandments exist in the Qur'an regarding the protection of women's rights on marriage. Marriage is based on the free will of both parties; the husband has to provide economic support for his wife (4:4); the husband has to look after his ex-wife after divorce (65:6).

The Islamic Emancipation of Women

As the verses make clear, Islam brings justice to male-female relations and puts an end to harmful practices resulting from customs and traditions of pre-Islamic societies. One example is the situation of women in pre-Islamic Arab society. The pagan Arabs regarded women as inferior, and having a daughter was something to be ashamed of. Fathers of daughters sometimes preferred to bury them alive rather than announce their birth. By means of the Qur'an, Allah prohibited this evil tradition and warned that on the Judgment Day such people will definitely have to account for their actions.

In fact, Islam brought with it a great emancipation for women, who were severely persecuted in the pagan era. Prof. Bernard Lewis, known as one of the greatest Western experts on the history of Islam and the Middle East, makes the following comment:

In general, the advent of Islam brought an enormous improvement in the position of women in ancient Arabia, endowing them with property and some other rights, and giving them a measure of protection against ill treatment by their husbands or owners. The killing of female infants, sanctioned by custom in Pagan Arabia, was outlawed by Islam. But the position of women remained poor, and worsened when, in this as in so many other respects, the original message of Islam lost its impetus and was modified under the influence of pre-existing attitudes and customs. 1

Karen Armstrong, another Western expert on Islam, makes the following comment:

We must remember what life had been like for women in the pre-Islamic period when female infanticide was the norm and when women had no rights at all. Like slaves, women were treated as an inferior species, who had no legal existence. In such a primitive world, what Muhammad achieved for women was extraordinary. The very idea that a woman could be witness or could inherit anything at all in her own right was astonishing. 2

In fact, during the many centuries that followed Prophet Muhammad, women of the Islamic societies had a much higher social position than the women of Christendom. Karen Armstrong emphasizes that, during the Middle Ages;

... the Muslims were horrified to see the way Western Christians treated their women in the Crusader states, and Christian scholars denounced Islam for giving too much power to menials like slaves and women. 3

Anna King, a modern Muslim woman and a convert - or, better to say, a revert - to Islam, explains the Islamic emancipation of women as follows:

Islam first gave women their rights in a time when women were nothing but the property of men. Islam gave women the right to buy and sell on their own, own businesses and express her views politically. These were all basic rights which the American woman was not granted until relatively recently! It also encouraged women to study and learn Islamic knowledge, breaking a ban which several religions had stipulated, which forbid women to acquire any religious knowledge or touch religious texts... It also abolished the practice of marrying a woman without her consent. Thus, one would have to be very stubborn indeed to refuse such obvious facts and proofs that Islam was women's first liberator.

The tendencies to see women as "an inferior species" who has no right for education and that must be totally secluded from the society arose much later in the Islamic world, as a result of deviations from the right Qur'anic path.

Conclusion

Thus we can say that the mentality that despises women, excludes them from society and regards them as second class citizens is a wicked pagan attitude which has no place in Islam.

In fact, devout women are depicted as good examples for mankind in the Qur'an. One is Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ. Another is the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh who, despite her husband's wickedness, is also described as an ideal Muslim. (see, 66:11-12) The Qur'an also describes very gentle conversations between the Prophet Solomon and the Queen of Sheba (27:42-44), and between Moses and two young ladies (28:23-26), which symbolize the civilized social relationship between the two genders.

Therefore, it is impossible for a Muslim to have a bigoted approach to women. In a society where true Islamic morals are practiced, immense respect and sympathy will be shown to women, and it will be ensured that they can live in freedom and comfort.

The fundamental rule in Qur'anic exegesis is ensuring that the derived meaning is in conformity with the integrity of the Qur'an. When this is considered, it is seen that all the rules mentioned to us by Allah regarding women form a social structure allowing them to live in the most comfortable and happiest way. In a society where all the moral values mentioned by Islam are practiced comprehensively, the social position of women becomes even more exalted than in societies that we today regard as modern.

http://www.harunyahya.com/

(1) Bernard Lewis, The Middle East, Weidenfeld & Nicolson, London, 1995, p. 210
(2) Karen Armstrong, Muhammad A Biography of The Prophet, Harper Collins Publisher, USA, 1992, p.191
(3) Karen Armstrong, Muhammad A Biography of The Prophet, Harper Collins Publisher, USA, 1992, p.199

Re: Pioneers! O Pioneers!

CalifJim — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 19:17:04 GMT

with the continental blood intervein'd

made up of the offspring of the intermarriage of people from the many countries of the European continent who immigrated to the U.S.

This question of national origins is (or at least used to be) a topic of conversation in the U.S. when meeting new people. Nowadays it's somewhat passÃ©.

-- I'm half Italian, a quarter French, and a quarter Irish. What are you?
-- I'm German on my mother's side and Spanish on my father's side.
-- Now I understand. Your last name is Hispanic but you don't look at all Hispanic. You must take after your mother more.

CJ

Re: a groovy kind of love

Grammar Geek — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 16:20:11 GMT

Hi Metolearn,

I see you're using a lot of song lyrics. This is a very hard way to learn English, for two reasons: the grammar is often terrible (Baby you and me, got a groovy kind of love), and lyrics, like other forms of poetry, often use words in unexpected, unusual ways. They work within the poem, but it's very hard to explain them and to say how something similar is used in "real" conversation. And, of course, some lyrics are just mysteries to me. I have no idea what they are saying. (The recent "Panic at the Disco" song being a prime example - why their marriage is saved after he hears a bridesmaid tell a waiter (and what was the waiter doing at the church, and why were their pews in the hallway?) that his new wife is a ... nevermind. I'm just saying that lyrics don't always translate into real world situations.)

I don't know what they singer meant in this song.

There is a phrase "turn me onto..." which means "introduced me to this thing and got me interested in it." Such as: Jim is the one who turned me onto the Detroit Pistons. It's pretty informal, but reasonably common, in the U.S.

Argument Essay on the Impact of The Internet on Meaningful Relationships

Anonymous — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 20:25:14 GMT

Has the Internet Affected You?

Recently, issues of how the Internet has made an impact on interpersonal relationships ,have given cause for alarm. With the induction of the Internet, into peopleâs homes , the Internet is becoming the way people prefer to meet or seek their soul mateâs, confidantâs, friends and romantic interests. People are going to the Internet and spending hours online chatting and instant messaging. Forms of entertainment are also sought online ,which range from music ,videos , gossip, movie listings, concerts , etc. The Internet was initially designed to aid people in the enhancement of acquiring rapid information and communication purposes . The way we used to meet our companions and friends was face-to-face, or over some type of small talk. Eventhough the advancement of technology has come a long way , I believe that the Internetâs impact on interpersonal relationships is negative because of hidden dangerâs, trust issueâs , and deceptive behavior from frequent Internet use. For instance, parents not trusting their adolescentâs truthfulness of the content that they are viewing ,and mistrusting their spouses.

Reports of adolescents online frequently encountering pedophiles has increased over time. The program series that aired on NBCâs Dateline ,âTo Catch A Predatorâ, in September 2004 , featured men going to meet with young girls and boys. Upon arriving those men were surprised by reporters and undercover officials waiting to arrest them. The airing of this segment caused more concern among parents and awakened them to be more attentive (Bahney). This program proved to parents that the breakdown in communication, with their adolescents may be causing them to seek out attention online. Because of the content of their conversations, they deceptively hide the information from their parents, creating trust issues with their parents.

Predators surf the various Internet sites like Myspace.com or Friendster.com. Because this type of website is frequented mostly by adolescents, itâs a predators preference. This creates a dangerous atmosphere for adolescents while online. Websites like MySpace ,created in 2003, are under constant monitoring (Baney). Websites like Friendster.com, Tribe.net , Xanga. com and Meetup.com , are currently popular choices for adolescent socializing. According to Bahney these websites have at least 60 million registered users.

The dangers of the Internet has caused officials to reach out to areas where they can speak to groups of adolescents. The dangers online are not obvious to everyone. Some parents are not even aware of what is happening online. According to Bahney ,at Packer High School ,in Irvine California a meeting was held for the parents and adolescents discussing the dangers of the Internet. The meeting was conducted by Steve Wolf ,an Irvine , California Police Officer. The schoolâs newspaper polled students afterwards and reported that at least 80% of studentâs parents had installed some type of restriction to their MySpace page , in which previously there was only 14% of adolescent households with restrictions in place (Baney).

Secondly, the Internet has an strong effect on close relationships, especially when it comes to family and friends. The HomeNet project by *** in 1998 and a survey by Nie and Erbring in 2000/ 2001 reported, that frequent use of the Internet had negative outcomes for the user .âSuch as increases in loneliness and neglect of existing close relationshipsâ( Bargh and McKenna). Because of frequent use of the Internet less time is being spent with family and friends. The bonds that we once shared are being challenged by online relationships. According to Nie and Erbring, researchers, information reported from a âU.S. nationwide survey of about 4000 people concluded that heavy Internet use resulted in less time associated with family and friends.â(Bargh and McKenna).

Next, the Internet has made it is easier to chat about personal issues with a complete stranger . It is so much easier to leave out the important details in a conversation and hide your true feelings. The person on the other side of the screen canât console you ,they can only advise you. Personal contact , or in better words , or touching a person ,is the closeness that people miss out on , when developing a relationship online. Sociologists at Duke University in Arizona found that âmost adults only have two people they can talk to about the most important subjects in their livesâ for example ,medical issues and final arrangements. âAbout one-quarter have no close confidants at all â(Fountain).

Finally, spending too much time on the Internet can cause problems in marriages and established relationships. According to Jeffery McQuillen âthe absence of the characteristics associated with face-to-face communication can result in a loss of fidelity and an increase in the psychological distance between interact ants.â The Internet makes it easier to commit infidelities and in some ways it encourages deceptive behaviorâs among spouses. For example, it is much easier to hide infidelities behind a computer screen, and disguising it as work. Trying to justify time and whereabouts to your spouse takes more lying , practice and face-to-face justification. Emotions are harder to hide when there is a face-to-face confrontation. According to s study by Walther & Tidwell in 1995, state that âon-line systems do not have the nonverbal code that is present in Face-to-Face conversationsâ ( McQuiillen).

With so many temptations ,the ability to engage in oneâs fantasy ,completely unknown by their significant other, is overwhelming. People enter porn sites and live out their fantasies. Itâs like the Internet is a forbidden fruit. So trust in the relationship is broken ,and breakdownâs in communication are formed. One definition of the communication process ,according to Walther and Tidwell in 1996 , the asynchronous benefits permitâs the participants time to plan and edit comments more mindfully (McQuillen).

People leave out important information over the Internet about themselves, which leaves the opponent believing the best or worst about them. The sender or receiver could say that they are wealthy, exceptionally attractive and the best catch ever. Trust is an important element in forming relationships and maintaining them. The World Value Survey says â Can people generally be trusted, or is it that you canât be too careful in dealing with people?â(Bahney). In short this means that people have tendencies to stretch the truth and you should always be careful with whom you deal with.

The evidence shown has proven that the Internet has rightly given us cause for much concern. There are some good advantages that come from the Internet. Such as , relationships formed , that in some cases have ended up marriage, finding a soul mate, and the exposure to new people and their cultureâs are rewarding in itself. Some other good advantages are that the Internet can help people research items ,like medical problems and remedies. The Internet even allows people to stay in touch with distant family, friends and significant others. In a study in 2002 by McKenna and Bargh polled about 600 people and a substantial number reported that they had gotten close with someone they met online and more than 50% of those new relationships have bloomed into âreal-lifeâ situations including marriage (Barghand & McKenna). Granted that the Internet has many positive attributes. Based on the evidence that I have gathered, the negative outcomes outweigh the positives. People are incorporating the Internet into daily life. People will continue to suffer the negative side effects of the growth of the digital age and adjust.

The issue of the negative impacts of the Internet on meaningful interpersonal relationships is indeed an issue that needs to be addressed. There are so many negative effects occurring from this digital age that solutions are few. Iâm sure that the Internet has affected you or at least someone you know, maybe it was a positive outcome or a negative one, but you have been effected in some way. It is up to us to save our kids, personal relationships ,or business relationships and we must set boundaries when it comes to the amount of time we frequent the Internet. Whatever the ending result, we will learn how to deal with it and move on to the next program.