Search results for 'tag:Marriage tag:Vocabulary' matching tags 'Marriage' and 'Vocabulary'

Re: Tender Is The Night

Malinka — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 10:33:16 GMT

I agree with you, the book IS difficult, especially the vocabulary
I haven't read it to your chapter yet (by the way it's 10th chapter, not 1st),
but I think that this sentence means the following: all that stopped him from
flinging the marriage in Baby's face was Nicole who came up to their table.

Re: Vocabulary questions

Philip — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 20:59:23 GMT

Doll wrote:

Hello everyone,

I was doing a vocabulary test and I couldn't solve a few questions. Unfortunately, I don't have the key. I hope you will help me.

Thanks in advance.

Here are the questions: 1- Not only did she ..... from Christianity to Islam but she also changed her name before marriage. A) go through B) go with C) go to D) go over E) go for. I looked up the meanings from dictionary but I really couldn't find something meaningful but Ä± guess it may be go through because the other prepositios doesn't sound good to my ears before from.

2-Viewers often find the paintings of the photo-Realist school somewhat disconcerting. In this sentence they want us to fins the synonym of the underlined word. A) rather B) thoroughly C) very D) instrinsically I think it should be A because the other ones sound funny in the context.(At least to me)

3-No other newspaper columnist has managed as yet to rival Ann Lander's popularity in terms of readership. This is a find the synonym question too. A) though B) in spite of this C) even D)so far I think it should be so far but I don't understand the usage of as yet here. Is it a kind of reduction?

4- A group of soldiers refused to..... the new government, thus leading to discord in the country. A) admit B)accept C) surrender D) recognise E) vizity I guess it should be either accept or admit but the two words confuse me. I looked up their meanings and both of the verbs are used to explain the other one in the dictionary. However, accept says choose me to me.

1. I would say 'convert'. But of the choices you give, I guess D is the best (it should be 'go over to Islam from Ch.."

2. Your choice is correct.

3. Again, you are correct.

4. You're on a roll!

Vocabulary questions

Doll — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 20:44:02 GMT

Hello everyone,

I was doing a vocabulary test and I couldn't solve a few questions. Unfortunately, I don't have the key. I hope you will help me.

Thanks in advance.

Here are the questions: 1- Not only did she ..... from Christianity to Islam but she also changed her name before marriage. A) go through B) go with C) go to D) go over E) go for. I looked up the meanings from dictionary but I really couldn't find something meaningful but Ä± guess it may be go through because the other prepositios doesn't sound good to my ears before from.

2-Viewers often find the paintings of the photo-Realist school somewhat disconcerting. In this sentence they want us to fins the synonym of the underlined word. A) rather B) thoroughly C) very D) instrinsically I think it should be A because the other ones sound funny in the context.(At least to me)

3-No other newspaper columnist has managed as yet to rival Ann Lander's popularity in terms of readership. This is a find the synonym question too. A) though B) in spite of this C) even D)so far I think it should be so far but I don't understand the usage of as yet here. Is it a kind of reduction?

4- A group of soldiers refused to..... the new government, thus leading to discord in the country. A) admit B)accept C) surrender D) recognise E) vizity I guess it should be either accept or admit but the two words confuse me. I looked up their meanings and both of the verbs are used to explain the other one in the dictionary. However, accept says choose me to me.

Re: Abortion..."Who's decision is it?"

Shea — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:32:51 GMT

A lot of interesting points of view. Reproductive choice is a difficult conversation to have, probably in any language. There is a lot of interesting vocabulary associated with the subject, if you're learning English.

The bottom line, in my opinion, is that women are not baby-making machines for the purposes of the government, corporations, families, or men. Regardless of the circumstances behind a pregnancy, it should be the personal, private choice of the potential mother whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term. Outside interference with this decisionâin any wayâis to remove the fundamental tenants of individual freedom and personal privacy.

Sex is not only for the purpose of procreation. We too often make the assumption that modern marriageâwhere man and wife love each other and choose to be togetherâis, and has been, the norm throughout time. In many culturesâsuch as the United States of America before the 1960'sâa woman might be the legal property of her parents until given in marriage (or some other arrangement) to a man, not necessarily of her choosing, even against her will. In such cases, sex might be used for the man's pleasure with little, or no thought to the possibility of pregnancy. Some women are sold into the sex trade, forced into prostitution, raped. There are any number of reasons why the "consequences" of sex might not be a result of choices made by a women. The option to not incubate a fertilized egg until it develops into a human life gives her the kind of dominion over her body that men assume, without hesitation, over their own.

Most importantly, sex will be had for pleasure whether all parties agree or not, either as an expression of love and intimacy, or out of lust and personal satisfaction. Making a child the punitive consequence of this reality does no one any good, the least of these the child.

Someone earlier said abortion was unnatural. How does he or she account for the fact that procedures for terminating pregnancy have existed throughout human history? That aside, women's bodies naturally abort pregnancies all the time (often without the woman's knowledge of the pregnancy). Is every one of these the death of a child? Should they be named and given funerals?

On a personal note: I have had close friends make the decision to have an abortion. In each of the cases, the choice was not taken lightly. There was worry and concern over whether the choice was wrongâwhether it was ending a human life. These questions can be debated by all, but the right to exercise complete control over one's body, to choose what happens to one's own body, should not be in question.

Evaluation needed!

Anonymous — Fri, 19 May 2006 22:29:09 GMT

Hi,

I've written a short story thru which i intend to know how many mistakes i make while writing, i.e., my vocabulary, grammer.As it's difficult evaluating myself, could anyone evaluate and rate my writing, perhaps on a scale of 1 to 10? Please be critical.

She was working as a General Manager in a multinational company. She had everything in her anybody would ever desire for. Had an astounding personalityâ¦ this look on her faceâ¦ a positive look that would give such an insight into her mindâ¦ She could handle everything on her ownâ¦ come what mayâ¦ she would never be deterredâ¦ Had this thing in her to manage every thing on her ownâ¦ make her own decisions and then eventually letting everyone know how correct she was of having taken themâ¦ more than others, letting the inner person in her know thatâ¦ she never cared a hang about othersâ¦

She was from a typical Indian family with typical middle class values taught to her during her upbringingâ¦ She was some 28 years old nowâ¦And still marriage was not on the cardsâ¦ Her parents had become a little apprehensive and tried to put some sense into her head but to no help. She knew her mind well and right now, all she could think of was her workâ¦

It was not that she had always been this strong. There was a time when she was fragile, so vulnerable that very small things would shake her world. She had fallen in love with this guy some 10 years agoâ¦had loved him heart and soul but it failed and she had sensed that she had portrayed herself as a loserâ¦ She was so concerned about what people would think.

With time, she started learning thingsâ¦ She started looking at things with a different perspectiveâ¦ a positive oneâ¦

She worked hard and reached that place where she had always wanted to beâ¦ And the source of her inspiration was none other than the guy who she was in love with... probably she still wasâ¦

She had gone thru a tremendous changeâ¦ She had become a strong person and had learnt to be always correctâ¦ She couldnât love anyone againâ¦ for that place in her heart was reserved for someone who probably didnât ever remember herâ¦

These days she was working and workingâ¦ had made herself involved in a very grueling scheduleâ¦ and of course, trying to evade the pressure that her parents were putting on her for getting married, as she was their elder daughter and their younger one was now 23â¦ She knew she could deal with that too. She was satisfied but was certainly not happy. Quite contradicting, but that was the truth. Deep down inside her, she knew there was something missing but couldnât do anything.

She had to go to Sydney for a meeting that she had to attend toâ¦ She was used to such kind of tours as they were the part of her professional lifeâ¦

Little did she know, there was something written in her destiny that would change her entire life, ironically once againâ¦

Thanks.

Re: Howard's dramatic monologue!

Anonymous — Mon, 15 May 2006 17:40:05 GMT

hey,

well il show you some of the stuff i have but it is all over the place i haven't edited it yet, but there's so much i want to write and so little time to do it in, but i would really like some guidance please.

I have also read Browning's poem, but have yet to really talk on the comparison between the two.

p.s my writing is quite bad at the moment, been writing whilst ill with the flu so please point out any major contradictions or plain nonsense that you see within the text.

thank you

A dramatic monologue has âseven definite characteristics: âspeaker, audience, occasion, revelation of character, interplay between speaker and audience, dramatic action, and action which takes place in the present.â (pg 8)

âThe dramatic monologue is a hybrid form. It has relations with lyric, because it is an expression of thought and feeling; but it is like a speech from a play, in that the character whose speech is represented is speaking out of a specific situation, and usually a problematic one. A dramatic monologue is like a speech from a play taken out of context. Its speaker is a figure other than the poet â in other words it dramatises the speaking subject â and the speaker generally speaks out of a situation that involves or leads towards action, a situation that is problematic or conflicted. It is a monologue because there is only one voice, and that voice is usually presented as speaking.â

Richard Howard has written a brilliant sequel to the Browning poem, My Last Duchess. His "speaker" is the envoy to whom Browning's duke has recently spoken to, and who is now reporting on that interview to his principal, the Count of Tyrol. However, Richard Howard has decided not to write it in the same form as Browning's but has used a letter form instead. The poem does not appear to have a particular rhyme scheme or a specific metre. It does, however, have a rather syllabic stanza form with mainly monosyllabic words, which is different compared to Browningâs rhyming iambic pentameter couplets.

Nikolaus Mardruz is the speaker of the poem. He is a representative of a government, a messenger: âMy Lordship's service, I remain his Envoyâ. It is clear to see that the poet is not the speaker of the poem, thus it abides with the rules of a dramatic monologue. The speakerâs voice is quite individualised. Nikolaus appears to be very loyal and faithful to the count; he travels to Ferrara and patiently waits hours before the Duke attends to him: âseveral hours were to elapseâ¦ before the Envoy.. Be seen to by His Grace.â The messenger tries his best to assure the Count that all will be well if his daughter were to marry the Duke, and also comes up with a proposal so that the Countess need not suffer from the âmurderous temperâ of the Duke. The sentence describing the Dukeâs temper is a clue from Browningâs poem that the Duke murdered his wife. It is a plausible to suggest the poem has the quality of a dramatic monologue. There is a speaker speaking to the Count of Tyrol. The situation described can be considered, to a certain extent, as problematic. Clearly, the Count has certain anxieties regarding the marriage of his daughter to a Duke who has experienced such a complex past.

The speaker does reveal certain thoughts and opinions about his encounter with the Duke. These are more apparent in the side comments separated with brackets. An example of this is when the messenger first arrives on the Dukeâs grounds, and is surprised to see the place âclose to a ruinâ. Nikolaus comments on the fact that âeven my Lordâs most unstinting dowry may not restore this wasted precincts to what their deteriorating state demands.â This shows us that he personally believes that no amount of money can restore the palace to a reasonable standard. It is almost as if the messenger is really picking on the weaknesses of the Duke, and maybe hoping to flatter the Count and appeal to his better nature. The speaker also observes the fact that the Duke is getting very old, âhe is no longer a young manâ. These small revelations of character show that he does have concerns regarding the Dukeâs age. It is not necessarily the case that he does not approve of the Duke being much older than the Countess, but rather that it works in their favour. The Duke will obviously pass away within a few years, therefore leaving the new Duchess with freedom and wealth. The speaker is very cunning; he is able to devise an alternate pre-nuptial agreement so that the Countess has the upper hand. Thus, the Duke will receive the intended dowry in installments instead of a lump sum; therefore the Count will have a guarantee that his daughter will be treated fairly and remain in good health. The speaker is generally hoping that the Duke will pass on as soon as possible, so that the plan goes ahead as planned, âthe long devotion (so long as he lasts)â.

The poem has many attributes which may lead an audience to believe it is a dramatic monologue. However, as a point of definition, âbecause the sense of an individual voice, and often of speech, is fundamental to the form, it is not correct to use the term of a poem written in the form of a letter.â The poem, therefore, can be more appropriately called a dramatic epistle.

The language in âMy Last Duchessâ is calm. It is a drawn out, one sided conversational boast yet the Dukeâs speech is sophisticated and eloquent.
The style contains a gradual build up to the whole story, and the drama takes place slowly with obvious mystery surrounding the fate of the Duchess. The language and actions of the Duke relay his jealous and controlling nature and yet his mannerisms and speech make him affable and admirable to such an extent the reader refrains from casting a moral judgment on him. In both poems Browning demonstrates the ability to detach himself completely and in the former, even offers the insight to a killers psyche using the monologue narrative.

The speakerâs attitude is revealed in his intonation. Upon his arrival in Ferrara, the messenger is quite disappointed by what he sees; he has a high expectation of the quality and extravagance of the palace grounds, but is taken aback when all is not as he had anticipated. This can be seen in lines such as âsuch mirroring was my first dismayâ and âqueasy it made meâ. His first impressions of the palace do not impress him at all as he cannot understand why the Duke would let his âlife in fallen stoneâ remain in such a state,

âin the dingy water that somehow

held them up as if for our surveillance-

ours?â

The speaker refers to this meeting as an âopportunityâ and also emphasises that it is also his âobligationâ. In the second stanza, this opportunity does not change his perception of what he has seen, but instead, the meeting with the Duke enhances his disappointment as he is delayed for hours assessing âa set of cameos just brought from Cairoâ. He sees the Duke caught up in a dull and gloomy state, his âtenebrosityâ. They discuss plans of the pre-nuptial agreement, from the speakerâs point of view, he feels that their negotiations look âpromisingâ. Nevertheless, whatever the outcome is, he realises the Countâs daughter will remain âamong Ferraraâs treasuresâ and refers to her as a âtrophyâ. However, there is a downside to this as a lot of the Dukeâs prized possessions do not appear to be in perfect condition or looked after, so it can be said that the speaker is not too keen on this idea as at the end of this stanza he says that if this is the Countâs wish then âso be itâ.

The speaker feels humiliated when he is confronted with the painting of the Dukeâs late wife. He calls it a âpainted deceitâ and his âembarrassment afforded a cue for audible laughterâ. The speaker is not impressed by the portrait and just sees it as another âchicaneâ or a form of trickery. The speaker himself has a more inferior role to play in society compared to the Duke, yet the speaker has formulated many opinions against the Duke based on appearance and plausibility of the Dukeâs encounters and experiences. In his letter, the speaker talks of the Dukeâs ârodomontadeâ meaning pretentious boasting. The Duke is proud to talk about his âbronze Neptuneâ which was cast in bronze especially for him, however, the messenger states how he must have seen âat least six of them cluttering the summer palace at Innsbruckâ. This is also in relation to Browningâs poem, whereby in the last few lines the Duke draw attention to the same prized possession, âNotice Neptune, though,
Taming a sea-horse, thought a rarity,
Which Claus of Innsbruck cast in bronze for me .â * From the messengerâs point of view, it was all ânonsenseâ. In spite of this, the speaker chooses to give the Duke the benefit of the doubt and proceeds to guarantee the future of the Countess, be it with the Duke, or if he passes on, the âyoung lordlingâ the Countess has had her eye on.

The mood of the poem is quite mischievous and unsupportive towards the Duke. The speaker talks about his encounter with the Duke from a negative perspective. He is not overly impressed with the Dukeâs presence and boastful personality. The speaker comes up with ways in which the Count will have the upper hand on his new relation.

There vocabulary used throughout the poem which bring out and places emphasis on the tone of the poem. Words such as âchicaneâ, ârodomontadeâ and âgloboseâ are all very uncommon and complex terms used for words with a simple meaning behind them. Howardâs purpose for sprinkling words like these throughout the poem is to show that it is a complex situation that that the messenger is involved in.

that's it so far, i have yet to reference my work but they should all be in quoatation marks.

thank you again for all your help

Re: rotten

Mister Micawber — Sat, 15 Apr 2006 13:42:07 GMT

Well, I think it is a mistake to use rotten egg, because as I said, in English it refers to a person rather than a situation. And you already have mixed metaphors-- rotten egg and surreal trophy do not go together at all (nor do I have any idea what surreal trophy may mean-- beyond the fact that the writer is obviously opposed to out-of-marriage love-making).

With a topic like this, any metaphors seem a little gross to me-- why not just use appropriate vocabulary?-- preserve the facade of the marriage and keep... well, whatever.

By the way, your pronoun is not in concord with its referrent.

Please read and judge Vocabulary only.

MsLovely — Sun, 05 Feb 2006 06:51:39 GMT

I am writing this for a scholarship, please forward your corrections if any.

I have encountered many horrid days in my lifetime, but i suppose it is true when said "The worse is yet to come..."
   My father was a very abusive man, he wasn't a heavy drinker or into many drugs. He was just a hateful man. I guess losing it all
was what made him decide to change his ways, people always realize how to do right by others to late.
   Since 1980 My mother had been either a stay at home mother or working, everything she did was with my fathers consent, i suppose she felt she had to discuss every aspect of her life to avoid conflict, or maybe she was needy for close friendships, although she worked in he psychological field with many disables persons,she really didn't have any friends who my father felt was trustworthy and so was made to abandon them all.
   So in 2000 when she had been laid off from her work, and most desperatre for money to support her indolent husband and her three beautiful children, she took up a job at our local *** where she befriended not one, but 2 lesbians and a gay man. Well, needless to say my father greatly admonished her for belonging to such a crowd, imagine, a 40 year old woman with friends (in essence that was all it was). Already feeling deeply isolated in this cave she had built for herself with much help from my father, she neglected to heed to his harsh words and tried very hard to helo my father come to the realization that these people were her friends, wether he liked them or not. She even went so far as to try to get my father to like them by inviting them over for dinner numerous times.
   Along with sleeping in my mothers bed for hours on end and collecting other mistresses, my father had also liked to travel to his native island of Haiti, not having the money to pay for tickets, or anything else for that matter, the mortgage payment was often put on hold to respect his wished and let him leave for weeks, months even, without sending a hello to his family in Manchester, NH.
   As forementioned, my father was very abusive, wanting so badly for his 3 children in america to be as submissive as his five in haiti, and not achieving what he so greatly desired often made him come to despise h is life in America, and not being able to leave made him despise us, therefore many nights he would come home straight from his other life in Auburn Mass. and beat us for whatever he thought fit, wether it be for not doing the dishes, leaving the door unlocked (so that he may enter peacefully) and for sometimes smiling at him. My mother, to scared to fight for us, had more than often let it happen without saying a word.
   He would then after beating us, storm into my mothers room in a fit of rage exclaiming how we do not appreciate what he had given us, and how we should be made to forefiit all of our clothes, and belongings so that the more appreciative of his children could enjoy "the greatest that life had to offer" as he had so eloquently put it. He thankfully, never put that plan to action, I always thought it was because of my mother, putting forth more money to feed his hungry offspring.
   When my sister came to her seventeenth year she had gotten pregnant and my father had coerced my mother to make her leave the house, there remained only me, my brother andmy mother in this hell on earth)
   Going back to my mothers "disreputable" group of friends, my father had made it very clear that mother was not to associate with the homosexuals in America, because my father felt it would ruin his reputation in Haiti. Nonetheless my mother had felt accepted, happy, and found comfort with this group she had chosen so she ignored my fathers rants about her imputence.
   In December of 2004, after a long trip to Haiti, (perhaps to create more offspring, and squander my mothers money) my father returned home furious declaring that he had hired a spy to watch my mother while he was in Haiti and he had proof of her cheating on him with this "*** friend" of hers on a secret rondevouz (that we all new about) The video/pictures that he had hired and paid an unspecified individual to take could not, infact be seen by anyone else but himself, because the spy had needed to sign forms releasing the footage that my father had already paid for.
   Telling anyone who would listen that my mother was a cheating *** who ruined many long years of marriage for a woman, he proceded to exclaim that she was neglectful towards her children, complaining no one was never home to cook or to answer to his every whim. Now, at this time I was seventeen years old and my brother was thirteen, and I would be a dirty liar if i said that I, or my brother went to bed every night with an empty stomach and roaches all over our bedroom floors with no heat or hot water to shower with. As I said i was seventeen, I had aquired the skills needed (from my mother) to cook for a family and to clean for one. I felt my mother, with two jobs, worked hard enough, and should not have HAD to come home to two children and a husband to cook and clean for.
   The climactic point of this situation arrived one cold night in December (December 8th). My father came home from being away for about 2 days,in that small amount of time my mother had arranged a get together with her friends, they went to see a movie, and had a great time from what I grasped.
   Well, Imagine my fathers fury when he came home and to find not his wife in a miniskirt cooking his food and catering to his every desire, but two very content children watching TV and laughing with eachother. He called my mother and recieved no answer, to which he responded to by waiting outside for her return. She returned only a few minutes later and stepped out of her vehicle to a profound blow to her left eye, confounded that my father would ever place his hands on her she ran insided and preceded to beg me to stay calm ( i had a history of fighting my father back, reguardless of who he hit).She then checked her eye, which thankfully hadn't been injured badly with my fathers strike and her glasses, and rand to her bedroom and wept silently.
   My father then stormed in after her and began screaming derogatory phrases to her to which i responded to by announcing his hypocrasy and denouncing his character as a father and human being.
The fight had begun.
   Blow after blow we began swinging at eachother, my mother still weeping, tried to calm us down, my brother than interrupted by also striking my father for striking me, and than I struck my father for striking my brother. This brawl went on for about 5-10 minutes before my mother had separated us, but not before my father, who had never threatened death upon me, exclaimed that he was going to "bury me that night." My mother had asked us to remain silent in my bedroom, but i could not leae her with him, I left my room and waited silently at her door, and signaled to my brother to call the police, fearful for our lives, i carried a pair of shears, and my brother, a butcher knife, both of which the police took from us when they arrived.
   My father was arrested that night, bailed out by morning, and is now, in essence gone from our lives. We talk maybe once every 3 monthe, and i am thankful that he is well.
   By the next day my brother had gotten over what had happened the previous night and led his life as he usually did. My mother and i stayed deeply pained by this incident and worked at recovering. I do not know if she did or not but i haven't, I think of my father everyday and how he used to love us so much I wonder where it went, what i did wrong to make him despise me as he does, and i wish things would be as they were but it will not happen. We have pierced eachothers hearts much too deeply to ever feel right about eachother again.

Teen metaphor :P

Tearsofjoy — Wed, 11 Jan 2006 16:31:54 GMT

Courtesy of www.jumbojoke.com

We've been told these are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Yeah, as if.

---

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 storeys, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy! comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighbourhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Enjoy!

- Joy

How to date different sunsigns

eagle — Wed, 09 Feb 2005 03:33:30 GMT

How To Date An Aries Female ( March 21-April 20 - Aries )

If you are dating an Aries female, take her out to the shooting
range.Bring an extra gun for her to shoot with you. She is capable
of
shooting at you, if you rile her anger.) Wear tight jeans,a
redshirt
and look manly. Pick her up on your Harley Davidson, but remind her
you have a private race car collection.Be Macho! Do not talk about
old girlfriends! Aries females must be the only "one".Cooking isn't
her
goal in life, but adventure will get her attention! Don't be a
pushover, she'll lose interest, and look for another challenge.Tell
her she is really cool, and the most fun and exciting woman you
were
ever with. (This will probably not be a lie.) She values honesty,
don't fabricate! Be careful though, if this Aries female really
likes you, she'll chase you until she can propose to you.Aries
females
means business and are not recommended for timid men!

Back to Top
How To Date An Aries Male ( March 21-April 20 - Aries )

If you are dating an Aries male, allow him to decide where to go and
what to do. Let him know that you have never dated a man with such
confidence and brains. You can be the dumb blonde with this guy,
he'll save you. If you are out with him and you flirt with someone
else,be
prepared to call a cab to get home. Aries males do like skin and
cleavage, therefore, you could win him back. It will not work a
second time. He can argue with you, and when you think you have
won, he will
still do it his way. He wants to chase you, so let him do the
calling
and guesswork. Don't tell him you love him, until he proposes.To
Catch this hot-blooded Aries man, give the Ram his head and follow
his
lead. Everyday is an adventure to an Aries male, marriage is also.Restup!

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How to Date A Taurus Female ( April 21-May 21 - Taurus )

If you are dating a Taurus female, take her to an expensive steak
house, rub on your soft musk, wear your corporate suit, and arrive
in
our four-door sedan. If it is paid for, you may drop that subtlety
in your conversation during dinner. Taurus females prefer tender
hugs
and quiet candlelight dinners at home, prepared by you. She'll
return the
love by cooking for you at her home.When mentioning the house you
would like to build,make sure you tell her about the large wooded
lot
with room for kids and dogs. If you are serious about her, let her
know that it wouldn't becomplete without a woman's touch. She will
interpret your comment and hint about a cute little 20 carat
diamond
she spotted at the mall. Taurus females are warm and loving!
(Unless
you make her mad or jealous.Don't tell her you spent your rent
money
to buy drugs.) Taurus Females are security minded, and will stick
by
you!

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How to Date A Taurus Male ( April 21-May 21 - Taurus )

If you are dating a Taurus male, be prepared to watch lots of movies
at his home. His dog will eventually accept the two of you being
together.A real treat will be when he takes you out to dinner to a
four star restaurant. Taurus males will think you look great in
forest green,however, they like nudity above all.Taurus males have
the
cuddly teddy bear approach to love. He will certainly have his arm
around
you,during the movies. If you want to win his heart, get him a cold
beer without him asking you. He will of course, apologize for his
messy home.He would know he had your love, if you surprised him by
cleaning it up, and making the chili when he entertains his friends
for Monday night football. He likes to take his own sweet time, so
don't push him. He is the marrying kind. Visualize Mr. Taurus,
watching television from his recliner,dog at his feet, a child
under
under each arm, complete with TV guide and beer can pyramid.

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How To Date A Gemini Female ( May 22-June 21 - Gemini )

If you are dating a Gemini female, arrive on your mountain bike built
for two. Ask her if she would like to ride over to the bar,and
shoot
a game of pool, because a lot of your buddies hang out there and
they
are fun! If that doesn't work, then suggest skating, a coffee
house,
or hanging out at the bookstore. Wear casual clothes and be
prepared
to talk a lot.Talk about the fascinating people you know, the
intellectual types preferably. Tell her about the book you are
going
to write. Have some original thoughts and be inventive. Creativity
ranks high on your Gemini females list. You'll never know what she
is
thinking. She is full of surprises. You can take her to the
neighborhood dive bar, or to the Governor's Ball. She won't
embarrass
you. You can find out what she really thinks of you by locating
her
journal, where all her secrets are kept.Gemini females are not
tidy,
so it should be lying around in plain sight. There's lots of time
before an engagement ring is necessary. Gemini females have to
fall
in love with your brain first!

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How To Date A Gemini Male (May 22-June 21 - Gemini)

If you are dating a Gemini male, you can expect him to stand you up
on your first date, but if you are lucky, he will call, say he is
running late, and that the plans for the date have changed.Bring an
overnight bag, he can get carried away and forget that you need to
go
home. He will have the cutest twinkling eyes, and you will forgive
him. He will slightly ignore you in public, as he always knows
everyone,wherever he takes you, and speaks to each one. Somehow,
you
can't picture him in a tuxedo, going down the aisle. Gemini males
won't call you everyday. Gemini men are witty, fun, and can play,
play, and play! These men thrive in occupations where they can meet
the public, and talk.Gemini males are great as disc jockeys. If
you
want to catch this guy, don't lean on him, don't get pregnant, or
talk marriage. Be a challenge, do your own thing and let your
Gemini male
chase you. It's ok to date others.

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How To Date A Cancer Female ( June 22-July 22 - Cancer )

If you are dating a Cancer female, dine out for pizza, and afterwards
take her to Baskin Robbins. Be sure to call her mother and check on
the kids. She'll think you are really a nice guy. Dress casual,
and
drive a suburban, or mini-van. It's ok, if you got the kids from
your last divorce, that won't stop her from dating you. Offer to
barbecue
at her house and compliment her cooking.(That way you get to come
back for more.) Bring the family with you,Cancer females can take
it.
Cancer females are very sensitive about everything near and dear to
them. Never say bad things about her family members--ever! They do
possess humor. Pay attention to all her handmade quilts and home
crafts. Cancer women are great homemakers. Let her know you like
women with a "little meat" on their bones. (They taste everything
they cook (yummy!) play games with Cancer women.

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How To Date A Cancer Male ( June 22-July 22 - Cancer )

If you are dating a Cancer male, be prepared to go to swap meets,and
garage sales. Of course, he will take you out to eat,at least on
your first date.He is pretty thrifty, so be sure you have a little
stash
of tip money in your purse. Of course, if you want to pay for
your
own,that would be fine. Just be yourself around him. Looks aren't
that important to Cancer males, but do know some fabulous recipes!
Talk
about your love of children. Display an interest in his hobbies.
Don't go into his garage, it will take the rest of the century to
go
through all of his bargains and collectables. Your Cancer man will
be
dating just you, and possibly his ex-wife.He is extremely stable,
and
loves to eat. If you think you need to diet, he won't. He loves
chesty women! You will receive flowers from him,out of his
garden,
naturally. He will remember all the holidays and treat you well.
Tell him all your funny stories, he likes to laugh. It's ok, to
say you
are pro marriage and to openly discuss it. He's there for you. He
knows
how to treat women, afterall, his best friend is his mother. When

you marry a Cancer man, you get them both!
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How to Date a Leo Female ( July 23-August 22 - Leo )

If you are dating a Leo female, take her to the movies, a
concert,abroadway show, a plush restaurant. Getting the picture?
She
wants tobe seen out with you. If men notice her, she will love
that.If you don't act a little jealous, she will try harder to make
you so.She thinks jealousy is a compliment. Bring her flowers,
wear
your gold chains, and wear something that shows off those muscles
you
worked so hard to get. That will excite her. Don't forget to
splash
on your Giorgio cologne. Tell her how much you love redheads, and
ask
her if all that gorgeous hair is hers? (If she isn't a redhead,
then
switch to blondes,or dark hair, but don't forget this.) Compliment
her constantly,and drive something sporty to show her off. A
convertible
would be nice.Leo gals will get you noticed! When she disappears on
your dates,she is merely primping in the ladies room. Be willing to
fight for your Leo female, but don't take any crap from her. She
can
start fights over nothing. Be prepared.You had better love her
cats
too! She doesn't care if you are well reaD or educated, but do be
suave, polished and act like you know what you are doing. She will
marry you, but be prepared to take care of her sexually,
financially, and emotionally. Leo females are a handful,and
remember, she can
always get another man, so treat her right.

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How to Date a Leo Male ( July 23-August 22 - Leo )

If you are dating a Leo male, he will take you to the best places for
dinner, shows, etc. He will lavish money on you, even if he does not
have it to spend. You can expect him to put the studley moves on you
ASAP, not to worry. Usually it is a game, to see if you are really
interested. He will impress you with his peacock strut, and the way
he puffs out his chest. If he can convince you that he is a great
guy,then he will be,otherwise, you will be pounced on by his cat
like
nature. His favorite past-time is being waited on, breakfast in
bed,
candlelight, movies, concerts, roses and your basic everyday
adoration.He is capable of a variety of occupations, but he likes
to
be the boss the most. This includes home.Leo men can have temper
tantrums, if things don't go their way. It's ok, if you want to
toss
a few things back his way, when he starts to roar. Stand up to
him. Be
able to turn his roar into a purr.Always look good around him.
Don't
admit you color your hair. Do sleep with your makeup on,and dress
sexy and feminine. He won't marry you otherwise. Leo males love
the
chase, so let him! (Leo males will already have told you about all
of his
other women.)

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How To Date A Virgo Female ( August 23-September 23 - Virgo )

If you are dating a Virgo female, be on time when you arrive in your
Mercedes to take her out for health food. Borrow the car if you
have
to. Do not pick her up in your unwashed car, with the baby car
carrier. She isn't interested in ready made families. Wear the
latest in fashion, and above all, have a manicure. Virgo females
notice everything! Have a degree, be a professional, know
everyone
who is anyone. Exude confidence. Stay away from the bar where you
were 86'd ! Do not have other girlfriends. Virgo females are shy
and
sometimes aloof. That does not mean they don't like you. It takes
several dates for them to decide if they want you.They are neat
freaks, and don't want to pick up after you. Be toilet trained!
If
you tell her you are going to do something at 6pm, then do it.
Virgo
females can drop you for little things like that. Don't quit
trying,
if you care about her. They only love a handful of men, and you
won't have any competition. Just be real!Quality is important to
female
Virgos. Virgo females are usually career minded, but they will marry.

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How To Date A Virgo Male ( August 23-September 23 - Virgo )

If you are dating a Virgo male, go slowly. They hate to make
mistakes. He will take you out to nice clean respectable
establishments, and go to the movies with you. He does not go out
dancing or rabble rousing with he guys. He is a solitary person,
whose social group is small. Virgo males are inclined to computers,
and the
geeky stuff. However, he could balance your checkbook for you. Do
not
dress like a slut. Be chic! Have no children from previous
marriages. Don't be too talkative. He shys away from party
animals. He wants
to date someone with a purpose in life. Be interesting, and invite
him
to your workplace. He can visualize his name hyphenated after yours
on
the nameplate on your desk.Virgo men can be workaholics, that way
they
can avoid "nooners".Virgo males are not usually sexually
promiscuous.
Sex won't happen until you push for it, but be sure to have your
STD
test results handy. He will marry you in time, lots of time, be
patient. Your Virgo male won't divorce you, once in love, it's for
keeps!

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How to Date A Libra Female (September 24-October 23 - Libra )

If you are dating a Libra female, take her to a wine tasting, the
theatre, your Cousin's wedding, anyplace sociable. She likes
elegance and beauty. Dress in your Sunday best. Bring her
flowers,cards and
special little feminine gifts. She'll be thoughtful too.Although
Libra women are the ultimate in fashion and femininity, they are
big
flirts. However, underneath it all, they really want to be married

to one darling man, who will romance them eternally. Flirt back
with
her, she loves little games. You can fall in love anytime you want
to with
her. Your car isn't as important, as how you treat her.Gently
please,no conflict! Your Libra female probably won't have
children,but she will have her fluffy lap dog, everywhere you go.
She isn't the
type to cheat on you, unless you forget about romance. Your
occupation isn't that important. Be sure to earn enough money to
support her
frequent shopping trips to the mall. She loves to decorate, so step
back at home.You can do the outside domestic duties. You get to
wash
the car and mow the lawn.When you propose to her, present her with
your poetic love vows,and promise to hire a maid for her. Libra
females love to be married!

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How To Date A Libra Male ( September 24-October 23 - Libra )

If you are dating a Libra male, your first date will be in a
romantic
restaurant, highlighted with a wonderful wine list. During dinner
just smile and be sweet. Libra men don't like vulgarity in any
form.Dress
tastefully, and do use your flower scented perfume. He loves women
who dress up, wear jewellery, use makeup, and are happy being
feminine.He is fascinated with fantasy, including sexual fantasy.
Don't discuss your recent love life, or ex-husbands. He could care
unless about your children, or desire to have them. Don't be
umentative.Libra males hate conflict. You can discuss your latest
painting, the last book you read,or what your plans are for
interior
decorating.Libra males love cozy fires, and sensuous females near
it.
Foreplay is a big high for Libra males. He is not a wimp, by any
means,although, he loves to please! Yes, he would be your sex
slave,
provided you tease him a lot. At work, he is a fair boss, but at
home
he loves to be used! Libra males will stay in a bad marriage.
Flirting gets them into trouble.Marriage is part of his ultimate
plan, just make certain he is single, when you decide to date your
Libra male.

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How To Date A Scorpio Female ( October 24-November 22 - Scorpio )

If you are dating a Scorpio female, be careful! Show up wearing
black clothes that fit you well. Arrive in your black car with the
dark
tinted windows. She likes the dark places, so take her to the
bars,
a casino would be fab! Don't tell her about the drugs you are
on,she
won't tell you about hers either. There needs to be caution
exercised
here, because Scorpios are one of two extremes. One the saint, the
other the sinner.The firs t type of Scorpio is very religious, and
does not smoke, drink, or do drugs. If you are on a blind date,
you
will know which version you are dating. Neither type is hung up on
what you wear, but more how you wear it. Have sex appeal. Be
interested in occult matters, be deep. She won't offer you much
information about herself, you will have to guess. Scorpio females
will pry your whole life story out of you.To keep her interested,
be
hard to get. You won't know if you are pleasing her, or where you
stand. A fatal mistake is to anger a Scorpio female.Scorpio women
will get you! She has a passionate nature and can have more than
one
love interest. They are not usually domestic,nor want to be
involved
>with parenthood. She will put all of her intense energy into
either
partying or getting to the top. Female Scorpios are "all or
nothing",even when it comes to marriage.

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How To Date A Scorpio Male ( octr 24-November23 -Scorpio )

If you are dating a Scorpio male, make sure you love secrets! He
loves for you to be sexy, and downright sleazy works for him
too.He can
make love to you, and not be in love with you. His passion can fool
women, don't mistake it for love. Oftentimes, they are most in love
when they can't possess or own you. Jealousy is a big issue with
him. He stays jealous. He does not care what you do for an
occupation,nor
your financial status. Scorpio males want to control you to
conform
to their ideas of living. So, if you aren't strong in your own
identity,then you will lose him. Scorpio males like the challenge
of
ownership.They love you most when they can't have complete control
over you. Only the fearless need apply here. One type of Scorpio
will
marry you and stay put and dominate the household. Whereas, the
other
type will just disappear on you without warning or reason. Be true
to
yourself with Scorpio males, and let your personality stay on top!

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How To Date A Sagittarius Female ( November 23-December 21 - Sagittarius )

If you are dating a Sagittarius Female, be ready willing and able to
go anywhere. She loves sports and to travel. A perfect date would

be an overnight excursion to Mount Olympus, and skiing down the
slopes
for breakfast. Pick her up in your jeep, or pickup truck,she
won'tmind your dog either. Dress casual, and be able to tell her
about an Indian Shaman you know, who invited you to a tribal
ceremony.
She'll want to go with you. Don't do the same things twice in a
row.
She won't care who you are dating, because she has plenty of men
friends. Sagittarius women can be ready for a date on a moments
notice. She'll be great at men's activities, like softball, and
eating the worm from a Tequila bottle. She will have been
everywhere,
but darn, Sagittarius females are fun to be around. You can win her
heart with variety in your lovemaking.She isn't the type to spend
time in the kitchen or babysitting.Show her you want to be a
companion in
all of her zany schemes. When she falls for you, she will ask you
to
do things with her. Marriage is not on her mind,but she would
marry
you, if she felt you were compatible enough. Sagittarius women love
their freedom!

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How To Date A Sagittarius Male ( November 23-December 21 - Sagittarius)

If you are dating a Sagittarius male, expect anything and
everything.He is not very reliable about schedules, dates, or you.
Not in the beginning anyway. He likes talkative women and female
jocks.
He wants a buddy to join him in his pursuits. Most Sagittarius
males
are employed in sales/traveling jobs. They can have a gal in every
port.Let him tell you he is serious about you first. Sagittarius
males only get married when they have to, and then they can't seem
to stay
married.They love the thrill and adventure of chasing a
woman,similar
to their love of hunting, fishing, and sports. You rank in there
somewhere. You can get used to being a hunting widow, sports widow,
etc., with Sagittarius male! You should love the same things he
does.Sagittarius men can be very funny and interesting. He will go
to
restaurants, but throw out his suit and tie. Sagittarius males like
their comfort and the wide open spaces and places, and freedom with
their women.Make no mistake about it, he does love women, all of
them. When your Sagittarian's heart goes out to you, he won't know
what to
do about it, because he didn't expect to fall in love. If you live
with him, he won't find time to go down the aisle. Sagittarius men
dread the thought of a tuxedo, and the stares from wedding guests.
You 'll have to drag your Sagittarius male to the altar!

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How To Date A Capricorn Female ( December 22-January 20 - Capricorn )

If you are dating a Capricorn female, take her to dinner at the best
restaurant in town, arrive in a limousine with flowers. Dress in
your
designer clothes, and be impeccable. Pinstripes and subtle scents
arouse her. Be successful at whatever you are undertaking. Let her
know about it. It's ok, to tell her you made two million last
year.Don't be cheap. Tell her you have been saving yourself for the
right woman, and that you have been working your buns off , to
build
your empire. Tell her you need someone to share this big business
burden with, and that your thoughts are about expanding your
business. Hint that a woman, would be perfect as a manager in your
new
expansion. She will be so intrigued, that she will offer you sound
business suggestions. She is SMART! Capricorn females won't compete

with you, they'll help climb the ladder. Don't forget about her.
She
loves expensive presents with thought behind them. Her little
"black book"
is filled with business appointments, not telephone numbers.
Capricorn
women are almost always successful in whatever they undertake.
They
don't take enough time to eat, so take her to lunch, dinner and
your
next corporate meeting. Business thrills them. She may seem cold
emotionally,but don't be fooled. She has those sexual infernos,
looking for a release!She does not trust men entirely, so don't
give her the
bums rush, or you will be part of the homeless. She would be a
great
wife to a success oriented man. She can entertain your clients,
and
friends.Capricorn females, can be boss in marriage too. Be
prepared
to be hen-pecked, if you are thinking marriage!

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How To Date A Capricorn Male ( December 22-January 20 - Capricorn )

If you are dating a Capricorn male, plan on doing most of the
talking.He will take you to places with class and ambience. He
will pick you up
in his black, luxury car. You will be treated like a
lady.Therefore, you should let him open the doors, etc. Dress in
style, but be sure you show some cleavage. Still waters run deep
with
Capricorn males.Your first dates will seem like business meetings,
but eventually you will get to know him. He is insecure about his
emotions and likes to keep them under control. Of course, he won't
make this
obvious. Compliment him on his achievements and he will open up to
you. He would be strict as a parent, and holds very traditional
beliefs about relationships. Don't be an airhead or aimless. He
appreciates a hard working woman, whom he can consider an equal.
He
does not know how to play, so you will have to lighten him up with
your humorous antics and fun loving side. Once your Capricorn man
commits, he will not leave you.Divorce is a nasty word in his
vocabulary. Capricorn males make good husbands and bread
winners.They are extravagant with gifts to those whom they love.
Marriage will
have to be his idea, not yours!

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How To Date An Aquarius Female ( January 21-February 19 - Aquarius )

If you are dating an Aquarius female, arrive in your restored
classic.Wear a funky hat and clothes that shouldn't go together,but
somehow do. Take her to an out of the way coffee house, featuring
jazz.Feel free to discuss anything and everything. She is an
intelligent listener,and will have some bizarre insight of her own.
You'll never truly understand her, so bring a tape recorder for
instant replay to sort it out later. Aquarius women are unusual,
not
necessarily hippies, but aware of the entire globe. She won't be
ready to jump in the sack on the first date, she has to get to know
you. Be
fascinating, tell her that you are going to Spain to run with the
bulls. Explain your philosophy on combining chemicals to combat
radiation. Tell her about your thesis which was published in the
"International Who Dunnit Magazine". Don't tell her you are in
love
with her too soon. You will know when she has taken a strong
liking
to you. That is when your Aquarius female will invite you to her
abode.Then you will see the real Aquarius female. There will be
many
unusual pictures, and books. There is a story connected to all of
her belongings.When your Aquarius female commits to you, she will
not
necessarily be ready for marriage. That is just her way of saying
she
likes you. You must have likminds, or there will be no future
Mrs.Anybody!

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How To Date An Aquarius Male ( January 21-February 19 - Aquarius )

If you are dating an Aquarius male, consider yourself lucky to even
get the first date. Aquarius males don't date much.They would
rather
be an observer, hanging out on the scene. He would prefer to go to
your house and have long talks into the night, and possibly just
stay
over. He may tell you that he just video taped an erotica video
featuring wild animals at the zoo with some vacationing starlets.He
may stay at your house, never cook or clean, but just be there,
when
you come home from work. Then one day, without warning, he will be
gone. If he is employed, he can be quite selfish with his money.
He
likes his freedom, in every way. Eventually he will call
you,.....expect >the unexpected with Aquarius. When Aquarius males
fall in love,
it is usually with someone who is intellectual, self-sufficient, and
childless. Have a deep purpose or goal in life and he will be
attracted to your dreams.Aquarius males will marry, but they
usually marry the
wrong person the first time, and shy away from second marriages.
They love their mental freedom. Nagging won't change them. He
won't
care what race you are,how much you weigh, etc.Mind altering drugs
can
ruin an Aquarian male for marriage completely. If he is more
holistic,
then he is searching for a soul mate. Love yourself and your
Aquarius male will too!

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How To Date A Pisces Female ( February 20-March 20 - Pisces )

If you are dating a Pisces female, take her to a psychic far, art
gallery, or out for cocktails. Don't take her to the animal
shelter,
or you will have a new pet. You can wear anything you like, and
you
get to make all the decisions. She prefers men with a passion
about
something, just believe in it. Music is one of her favorites and
dancing is definitely a must. If you can't dance, take lessons.
pisces females don't care if you are good looking, just have a
heart. A
sense of humor is an asset, she has one too. She has no
confidence in
herself, so support her in her dreams. She falls in love easily.
Don't promise her a rose garden, if you don't mean it. When you
go to
the movies, take tissues.It does not matter what the movie is
about,she will inevitable cry, when something touches her. Pisces
females love everyone, even if they treated her badly.She hates
to
see pain, but can drown in her own. Cheer her up, be a positive
kind of
guy, and be romantic. Encourage her to not live in your shadow,
but
to have her own life. Yes your Pisces woman wil marry you.
Pisces
females have a hard time saying "No"!

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How To Date A Pisces Male ( February 20-March 20 - Pisces )

If you are dating a Pisces male, it will be up to you to decide
whereto go, what to do, whose car to take. He likes music,
alcohol, and
strong-willed women. He will do whatever you want. He has an
extremely creative side, which takes precedence over his mundane
duties of the everyday work world. He could be happy being
supported
by you, because he would surrender all of himself to you and your
causes.Pisces males are romantic, and hate to make decisions. He
does not want to displease you in any way. He donates to every
solicitor
knocking at the door. Pisces males are not normally good money
managers, therefore, you get to. He won't mind. He would give you
every
paycheck. He loves you when you are dreamy and romantic, with the

candles lit and soft music. He will cook for you he dresses
nicely and won't embarrass you in public. If you want to marry this
man, just take him home. He's yours.Pisces males can't bear
divorce.
Marriage minded they are, Pisces males function best with a
partner!