Search results for 'tag:Motivation letters tag:Promotions' matching tags 'Motivation letters' and 'Promotions'

How many mistakes can you find in this fragment?

Ladyfirst — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:34:02 GMT

Dear GURU,
I am applying for a MSc programme in Health Management at a UK university and needed to write an outline on the following:
Your plan for future.
provide an outline of your ambitions and career plan. How do you intend to "make a difference" in you country? no more than 250 words
English in my second language. Here is my draft. Kindly comment. Thank you.

"I have a sense of social mission â I deeply care about the people I work with and serve. I am one of those who want to âdo well by doing goodâ. It is my ambition to become a more effective researcher, medical practitioner and service leader â all to improve the health of our people, particularly children, and to strengthen our prevention abilities.

Having completed the Masterâs programme in Health Management I will continue working at my X Medical School and Women Crisis Centre. I think it will be the perfect starting point to utilize the expertise obtained to become a leader in researching and developing interventions to improve health, particularly child health, at local, national and international settings.Â

At the first stage X Medical School will enable me to share my experiences and applied knowledge with students and medical professionals. At Women Crisis Centre I am going to start with promoting the adoption of laws in domestic violence (there is no applicable laws to date in our region), launching new social projects and with that sustainable development.Â

Since the range of factors that influences peopleâs health can seldom be addressed adequately by only one organization or program, a multidisciplinary approach to providing public health services has grown in importance. One of my main goals is to create a good partnership between private and public organizations, NGOs and institutions of health care.
In the long run, I envisage for myself a career positioned for a leadership role in health and social well-being promotion.

Re: URGENT ATTENTION BOSS: WOULD YOU PLS COMMENT ON 'MY MOTIVATION LETTER'

Mister Micawber — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 12:08:38 GMT

I have reviewed your letter again, with suggested changes in bold. I cannot follow all your colours and interjections, so I have merely amended as I think best (and some of them are improvements on my own previous suggestions):

Program Code: MKT2345

February 2, 2008

Dear Sir/Madam:

I am writing to apply for your Masterâs Programme in ***.

My educational background is in the principles and practices of marketing management. I completed a three-year BBA (Honours) IT program in 2004. My studies have guided me through systematic research, analytical thinking, management of resources and information evaluation. I completed my MBA with specialization in marketing in December 2005. Marketing Management, Advertising, Sales Management, Services Marketing, Business Strategy & Leadership Management and Entrepreneurship were among my favourite subjects within the MBA program

After completing my MBA, I started my career at an international level. In June 2006, I was employed as an Operations Supervisor for a large supermarket chain in Saudi Arabia. This was valuable experience in leading a multinational team to plan and manage the availability of thousands of brands with complex supplier networks and demanding international customers.

In addition to daily supermarket operations, I have also been analysing leading brands. For example, the key Saudi fresh dairy product brands are Almarai, Nadec, Nada, and Alsafi Danone. I have been compiling monthly sales figures and attempting to determine why Almarai is the top selling brand. My analysis shows that Alamarai management focuses on high quality product, packaging design, promotions (renting 60% of the category shelf space) and advertising. The company uses a strategy of market penetration to beat the competition; promotion emphasises brand strengths across segments and an intensive distribution network is maintained locally.

My two-year contract will soon terminate and I have now been offered a Store Manager position, but I have a strong ambition to become a marketing/management specialist, which I cannot do without a fuller understanding of a specific marketing/management field. Obtaining a one-year master's degree from *** means becoming a specialist or advancing a step towards that goal.

I have already met people from many nations in Saudi Arabia, and I will further learn from others while living in a new culture. I will make new friends from Europe, will learn their life styles, achieving my objective of personal growth, and when I complete my master's degree I will achieve my objective of professional growth. Your programme will equip me with the necessary skills to continue to acquire new knowledge and understanding throughout my career.

I hope that the combination of my past experiences and academic education will qualify me as a University of *** master's programme candidate.

(Don't EVER use an ampersand in a formal letter unless it is part of a book/course/etc title!)

Re: URGENT ATTENTION BOSS: WOULD YOU PLS COMMENT ON 'MY MOTIVATION LETTER'

Mars4sweden — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 03:40:59 GMT

Thankyou very much Mister Micawber! The revised letter is as following after your suggested changes. and few additions from myside. I applied for three diffenent Master programs. International Marketing, Leadership Management and Entrepreneurship & Innovation. Some Paras need to be customised seperately for each program........

I am waiting for your last OK signal! to pass ot on....

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Program Code: MKT2345

February 2, 2008

Dear Sir/Madam:

I am writing to apply for the Masterâs Programme in ***.

My educational background is in the principles and practices of marketing (Management for other programs). I completed a three-year BBA (Hons)-IT program in 2004. My studies have guided me through systematic researching, analytical thinking, management of resources and information evaluation. I continued my studies and completed an MBA with specialization in marketing in December 2005. Marketing Management, Advertising, Sales Management, Services Marketing, Business Strategy & Leadership Management and Entrepreneurship were among my favourite subjects of the MBA program

(I wana say after my mba, my plan was to go international thats why i used ''PLANNED'') After completing my MBA, as part of my plan I started my career at an international level. In June 2006, I was employed as an Operations Supervisor for a large retailing firm in Saudi Arabia. This was a valuable experience in supermarket to lead a multinational team to plan & manage the availibility of thousands of brands with strong suppliers network & demanding internatonal customers.(customers from all over the world during Hajj season in Makkah) (Please make this a sensible sentence to fit here...)

Beside Daily Supermarket Operations, I have also been analysing the Leading Brands. For example, in the 'Fresh Dairy in Saudi Arabia, the key brands are Almarai, Nadec, Nada, and Alsafi Danone. I have compiled a monthly sales figures and attempted to determine why Almarai is the top selling brand? ~~It appears that~~ The analysis shows that Alamarai management focuses on high quality product, packaging design, promotions (renting 60% of the category shelf space) and advertising. The company uses strategy of market penetration to beat the competition. Promotion emphasises brand strengths across segments and an intensive distribution network is maintained locally.

My two-year contract will soon expire and I have now been offered a Store Manager position, but I have a strong ambition to become a marketing/management specialist, and I cannot become a specialist without having a full understanding of a specific marketing/management field.

Obtaining a one-year master's degree from *** means becoming a specialist (or a step towards it). I have already met people from many nations in Saudi Arabia, and I will further learn from others while living in a new culture. I will make new friends from Europe, will learn their life style, achieving my objective of personal growth, and when I complete my master's degree I will achieve my objective of professional growth. The programme will equip me with the necessary skills to continue to acquire new knowledge and understanding throughout my entire working life.

I hope that the combination of my past experiences and academic education will qualify me as a University of *** master's programme candidate.

Re: URGENT ATTENTION BOSS: WOULD YOU PLS COMMENT ON 'MY MOTIVATION LETTER'

Mister Micawber — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 10:09:39 GMT

I have struck out unnecessary or inappropriate verbiage, made some corrections (in bold). You may also have to fix the sentence structure to correct for my deletions.

February 2, 2008

Director of the Program
Department of ABC
University of ABC

Dear Dr Smith:

I am writing to apply for the Masterâs Programme in ***.

I am confident that the programme corresponds well with my plans of becoming a specialist in marketing field. It is my dream and desire to be admitted in *** and pursue my *** studies in the field of Marketing.

My educational background is in the principles and practices of ~~the~~ marketing ~~field~~. I ~~have successfully~~ completed a three-year BBA (Hons)-IT program in 2004. My studies have guided me through systematic researching, analytical thinking, management of resources and information evaluation. I continued my studies and completed an MBA with specialization in marketing ~~field~~ in December 2005. Marketing Management, Advertising, Sales Management, Services Marketing, Business Strategy and Leadership were among my favourite subjects of the MBA program.

I love to play computer strategic games, Chess game I mostly play with my compute which I never won, Graphics, Animations, Web Designing, Reading something interesting online, cooking, outing, meeting just everyone in a group and selecting good people as my close friends are my hobbies. I feel no shame in meeting new people, talking them, and playing jokes.

After my studies, I plan to start my career at an international level, In June 2006, I was employed as an Operations Supervisor for a large retailing firm in Saudi Arabia. This was a valuable experience in supermarket management, with thousands of products and stiff competition ~~among different brands and huge variety of products~~. ~~Such an experience I was unable to get in my country.~~

During this contract, I have been analysing the top five brands of various product categories. For example, in the 'fresh milk & juices' category in Saudi Arabia, the key brands are Almarai, Nadec, Nada, and Safi. I have compiled weekly/monthly sales figures and attempted to determine why Almarai is the top seller. It appears that Alamarai management focuses on high quality product, packaging design, promotion (renting 60% of the category shelf space), advertising, efficient daily delivery, and a huge network of branches throughout Saudi Arabia.

My two-year contract ~~of two years is going to~~ will soon expire and I have now ~~already~~ been offered a Store Manager position ~~for next contract~~, but I have a strong ambition ~~in myself to further study~~ to become a marketing specialist, and I cannot become a specialist without having a full understanding of a specific marketing field ~~in Marketing~~.

Education from *** is affordable for me as compared to other *** countries. *** is a good safer place for other nations. *** is in between the best universities in *** and secondly ***University has a course offer (***) which relates to my goals. Thatâs why it is number one in my selection criteria.

Obtaining a one-year master's degree from *** means becoming a specialist (or a step towards it). ~~I can put a high price for my services. I will achieve my first objective of âFinancial Growthâ I will be differentiated from my competitors by having Masters from *** University.~~ I have already met people from many nations in Saudi Arabia, and I will further learn from others while living in a new culture. I will make new friends from Europe, will learn their life style, achieving my ~~second~~ objective of personal growth, and when I ~~will~~ complete my master's degree I will ~~already~~ achieve my ~~third~~ objective of professional growth. The programme will equip me with the necessary skills to continue to acquire new knowledge and understanding throughout my entire working life.

I hope that the combination of my past experiences and academic education will qualify me as a University of *** master's programme candidate.

URGENT ATTENTION BOSS: WOULD YOU PLS COMMENT ON 'MY MOTIVATION LETTER'

Mars4sweden — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 04:40:36 GMT

I AM SENDING THE MOTIVATION LETTER AFTER 2-3 DAYS! PLS GIVE YOUR COMMENTS TO MAKE IT ACCURATE N PERFECT! THIS FORUM IS DOIN A GREAT JOB!.... JUST WELDONE!

Director of the Program
Department of ABC
University of ABC

February 2, 2008

I am writing to apply for the Masterâs Programme in ***.

My educational background is well versed with principles & practices of the Marketing field. I have successfully completed a 3 years BBA (HONS)-IT program in 2004. My studies have guided me through systematic researching, analytical thinking, Management of resources and information evaluation. I continued my studies & completed an MBA with specialization in marketing field in December 2005.

Marketing Management, Advertising, Sales Management, Services Marketing, Business Strategy and Leadership were among my favourite subjects in MBA.

After my studies I planned to start my career from an international level, In June 2006 I was appointed as an Operations Supervisor in a Multibillionaire Retailing Firm in Saudi Arabia. Itâs a fruitful experience of a Supermarket Management with thousands of brands, toughest competition among different brands and huge variety of products. Such an experience I was unable to get in my country.

My contract of two years is going to expire and I am already offered a Store Manager position for next contract. But I realize the strong inspiration in myself to further study to become a marketing specialist. I cannot be a specialist without having perfect knowledge of a specific field in Marketing.

While In store I keep on Analysing top 5 brands of a product category. For Example in Fresh Milk & Juices category in Saudi Arabia the key brands are ALMARAI, NADEC, NADA, SAFI. I make weekly/monthly analysis on sales figure and try to find out why ALMARAI is number 1. The answer is ALMARAI BRAND Manager Focuses on high quality product (Core product taste, freshness, design to packing), Promotions (60% shelf space rented of all fresh section, Advertising), Placing/delivering daily by proper Vehicles and huge network of branches in whole Saudia.

Getting one year Masters from ***means becoming a Specialist (or a step towards it). I can put a high price for my services. I will achieve my first objective of âFinancial Growthâ I will be differentiated from my competitors by having Masters from *** University. I already met many Nations in Saudi Arabia and will further learn while living in a new culture. I will make new friends from Europe, will learn their life style it will achieve my second objective âPersonal Growthâ. When I will complete the Masters degree I will already achieve my third objective of âProfessional Growthâ.

The study will equip me with the necessary skills to continue to acquire new knowledge and understanding throughout my entire working life. I believe that the combination of my past experiences and academic knowledge will qualify me as an University of *** student candidate.

Motivation letter for marketing master's studies, need an honest opinion

Anonymous — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 19:07:55 GMT

UNIVERSITY OF ***,
Faculty: Marketing Communication Sciences.

Dear Sir / madam or admissions board:

One of the many things I learned over the few years Iâve worked in the private and public sector is that in order to go furtherin my career I need to obtain a masterâs degree. Iâm writing to apply for the Masterâs degree program in Marketing at the University of ***. Iâm a Mexican citizen currently living in Germany taking an intensive German language course, I have an International Business bachelors degree from the *** in Mexico, also I studied one year at *** in France, during this time I had the opportunity to study Marketing more in depth, my studies provoked a strong interest in the field. I saw that the best way for me to develop more marketing skills was to work as a marketer and afterwards to attend a masterâs program in marketing.

In the corporate world of today a bachelorâs degree is not enough, especially in marketing the competition for job opportunities is fierce. I started my professional career as a marketing assistant in a sports marketing firm. I specialized in the US Hispanic market, doing promotions, media buys, PR campaigns and organizing sponsored events, most of them in football. Later I joined the public sector, working for the Mexican government as a media coordinator, doing everything from press releases, internal communication, public events to the creation of a newspaper. Iâve obtained a lot of on-the-job knowledge that I now want to cap with an international Masterâs Degree. Iâm passionate about marketing, I know that in order to be successful in it one needs knowledge and credentials and I feel the masterâs degree that the University of *** offers is the best way to obtain both.

After working in the US, I come back to Europe with the intention to do my masterâs studies. Iâve done my research about postgraduate programs in European universities, I was looking for one that will complement my experience in marketing, will further my knowledge in the field and that will give me a solid foundation and skills in order to pursue a marketing career in Europe after the completion of my studies. The University of *** offers me that. I particularly like that the teaching language is in English and that the University of *** welcomes international students and even offers Italian language courses. What interests me most of the program is the opportunity to have a second minor and the structure that will allow me to personalize my study curricula to my interests and needs.

Iâm confident that my experience and background would be a great asset to the University of *** studentâs body and the marketing masterâs class. I thank you very much for considering my request and I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely yours,

Selene Ramos

Re: Motivation letter for University

nona the brit — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:24:49 GMT

Comments in pink, other problems/errors in yellow. Lots of missing articles here. Good luck with your application though, the structure of your letter looks ok. It is a good idea to state why you want to do this particular course and not all the other human rights courses, and if this is to study abroad, why you chose that country and what you hope to achieve from studying there.

I am witting to apply for the postgraduate studies starting in the fall of 2007. - state exactly which course in this sentence.

I found that the Masterâs programme in the Human Rights corresponds well with my future plan to do practical and legal work for human rights organizations. It is my ambition to be admitted, and pursue my postgraduate studies in the field of human rights and gain extensive competencies for future academic research and professional work.

My desire to study in the area of human rights reflects my interest in contemporary human rights issues, with a particular focus on the human right to health. I want to gain a broader understanding of International human rights law and the implementation of social and economic rights. Furthermore, I am interested in human rights impact assessment and related research.

During the *** Bachelor Degree the program guided me in systematical research, analytical thinking, and information evaluation. During my *** practice I became interested in human rights realization through community work. In addition to my *** studies, I have vast experience of working in human rights education programmes as well as implementing training on human rights education. During my training experience I have acquired list of you need to rephrase this section a bit between acquired and including competencies including the capacity to develop and manage a training or education programme on human rights education, while simultaneously applying quality criteria. Moreover, I am attending a long term advanced training course in human rights education organized by the ***. I would like to continue my work in the human rights education field and I would love to contribute to the Advocacy, Training and Education program in ***.

I have fulfilled my interests in human rights through becoming involved in a number of volunteering and internship opportunities ranging from being a human rights activist to being a peer educator in HIV/AIDS prevention program. Furthermore, I have been actively involved in implementation of âYouth Friendly Health Servicesâ project. This project was conducted in partnership with UNDP and involved a lot of discussions about right to health.

When I finished my Bachelor studies in *** I got an offer to coordinate *** campaign. While working for the campaign I acquired knowledge and skills in advocacy building and lobbying for human rights as well as strengthened my desire to connect future academic life and work with human rights promotion and protection.

As a committed, thoughtful and hard-working person with long time experience in human rights activism and willingness to work for human rights organizations, I believe that I am a good candidate for the Masterâs Program in Human Rights.

Motivation letter for University

Anonymous — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 20:01:06 GMT

Please give me some feedback on this letter of motivation.

I am witting to apply for the postgraduate studies starting in the fall of 2007.

I found that the Masterâs programme in the Human Rights corresponds well with my future plans in doing practical and legal work for human rights organizations. It is my ambition to be admitted, and pursue my postgraduate studies in the field of human rights and gain extensive competencies for future academic research and professional work.

My desire to study in the area of human rights reflects my interests in contemporary human rights issues, with a particular focus on human right to health. I want to gain broader understanding in International human rights law and implementation of social and economic rights. Furthermore, I am interested in human rights impact assessment and related research.

During the *** Bachelor Degree the program guided me in systematical researching, analytical thinking, and information evaluation. During my *** practice I became interested in human rights realization through community work. In addition to my *** studies, I have vast experience in work with human rights education programmes as well as implementing different trainings on human rights education. During my training experience I have acquired list of competencies including: the capacity to develop and manage a training or education programme on human rights education, while simultaneously applying quality criteria. Moreover, I am attending long term advanced training course in human rights education organized by the ***. I am willing to continue my work in human rights education field and I would love to contribute to Advocacy, Training and Education program in ***.

Re: questions for the moderators and frequent posters

nona the brit — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 08:52:21 GMT

Hello Andrew,

Thanks for the compliments. Yes, we are all volunteers. I don't think I want to admit how much time I spend here but for me it is a way to relax. I work for myself from home and I don't have anyone to go and have a coffee break with, so when I want to take a break for ten minutes or so I come over here. It's that or wander away from my office and end up just watching TV for the rest of the day (naughty!). We all come and help out here to varying degrees. Some people can do a lot and others can only help now and then, but it's all appreciated.

We're happy for anyone to have a go at anwering the questions. You'll notice that a lot of the learners will also answer questions and it's a useful exercise for them and it's good that they can help each other. Sometimes we end up with quite a few conflicting answers but eventually it always seems to get sorted out.

Those of us who are regulars or moderators are not all English teachers. In fact I do not know what a couple of the moderators do, we do chat 'back-stage', but not always about our real lives in much detail. However, I believe that one of us is an editor, and I know that two of us are copywriters. It naturally does tend to attract people with a strong interest in language use.

When a really proficient person pops up and starts helping out we all get very excited and we hope they keep visiting regularly. We do our best to encourage these people and keep an eye on them with regards to 'promotions'. As a proficient English user, and editor, you and your 'other perspective' would be very welcome. We certainly wouldn't feel as if you were treading on our toes. We get utterly swamped with posts sometimes and can't answer everybody.

If you really want to make yourself useful, you could look at the letter writing section for us. At this time of year we get many motivation letters to check and it is difficult to keep on top of them all.

Thanks, and welcome to the forum!

CV+MOTIVATION LETTER

Jo87 — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 17:12:40 GMT

Hello everybody! I seriously need some help for correcting my motivation letter and my curriculum vitae. I have never done one before, so if you have any comments or you find any mistakes PLEASE let me know. I would definitely appreciate that!

Thanks, Sara

P.S. Do you have any suggestions for a better opening or something?!

__________________________________________________________

Milan, 28 August 2006

Dear Robert Schmidt ,

if you are looking for a determined and detail-oriented person who is willing to contribute to your company success, I would like to encourage you to consider my application for a 5 months internship in your company starting October 2006.

My name is Sara Rossi and I am a 19 years old highly motivated student at the University of Milan, Italy. Currently Iâm attending the second year of a three year bachelorâs degree of Economics and Management Sciences, major in Tourism Management.

I have always thought that the theory is the base of everything, but at the same time I am convicted that experience is what makes a person unique. I think that an internship in your company can definitely provide a rare opportunity for gaining the valuable âhands- on experienceâ that I am looking for. I am confident that courses in marketing, event management, communication and promotion of tourism combined with several business courses I attended, would make me a good candidate for this internship.

Personally, I define myself as an energetic and open-minded achiever with a dynamic, goal-orientated attitude and with an insatiable appetite to keep learning. I have always demonstrated commitment to excellence, through my academic career and through my previous working experience. If you give me the opportunity I would be glad to continue this commitment to excellence by working in your company.

Should you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact me via email. I look forward to your response. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Sara Rossi

_______________________________________________________________

CURRICULUM VITAE

Name: Sara Rossi

Address: ...

Telephone: ...

Fax: ...

Date and place of birth: ...

Nationality: Italian

E- Mail: ...

EDUCATION AND TRAINING

Â· 2006-2007: University of Hamburg; Hamburg, Germany. Exchange student

Â· 2005-2006: University of Milan ; Milan. Bachelor of Science in Economics and Management Sciences - Major in Tourism Management

Â· 2004-2005: âGiacomo Leopardiâ High School; Milan. School of economics and languages. Completion of high school with a comprehensive mark of 100 over 100, A+.

HONORS AND ACHIEVEMENTS

Selected for a 6 months exchange program (Erasmus) at the University of Hamburg, Germany
Winner of a prize from the bank âBanca Aâ for completing high school with an overall average of at least 95 over 100
Final grade for high school: 100 over 100
Successfully skipped a grade in the elementary school

WORKING EXPERIENCE

Summer of 2006: secretary for the firm ... (Milan)
Summer of 2005: receptionist at the âHotel ....â of Milan, Z Hotels
Summer of 2003: Internship at the Tourist Office of Milan; assistant at the front office

PERSONAL SKILLS AND COMPETENCES

LANGUAGES

Italian: mother tongue
English: intermediate level both written and spoken; âFirst Certificate in Englishâ, grade A (Council of Europe Level B2)
German: intermediate level both written and spoken; âZertifikat Deutschâ. (Council of Europe Level B1)
French: beginner level
Spanish: beginner level

OTHER SKILLS AND COMPETENCES

Good informatics skills; European Computer Driving Licence (Word, Excel, Access, Internet..)
Ability to handle multiple task, to meet the deadlines and to work in a team. Strong organizational skills and in problem-solving

INTERESTS

I love traveling around the world and getting to know new people. Iâm also very keen on competitive sports.

Sara Rossi

Milan, 28 August 2006