Search results for 'tag:Motivation letters' matching tag 'Motivation letters'

Re: College Motivation Letter... MountainHiker, you still on here?

Clive — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:14:02 GMT

Hi,

You need to break this into several paragraphs in order to show the reader how you have organized your thoughts.

If you don't, I doubt that anyone here will want to try to respond to this.

Best wishes, Clive

College Motivation Letter... MountainHiker, you still on here?

Anonymous — Tue, 13 May 2008 22:33:51 GMT

Hi all! I have written this to the best of my ability. I'm pretty secure about the language part, as I'm bilingual, but it's the culture part that I want to check works. Some stuff I need to put in there, like the reason for the GPA - it's part letter, part appeal. But, this is my question, does it come off as too smarmy, too corny, too vague, disorganized, paragraphs need switching around? I just really liked what Hiker said to some other people n here - I have tried to follow the question checklists s/he posted "(Introduction (very quick points) 1a) Who you are 1b) What you want to do 1c) Why do you want to do it 1d) What do you want from them 2) Detailed background 2a) Expand on who you are 3) Detailed background 3a) Expand on what you want to do and why you want to do it 4) Summary 4a) Summarize what you have told them 4b) Thank them for considering your application" and the list for another poster "1) You have a Communication Science degree 2) You want to obtain a Masters Degree in European Comparative Public Policy 3) You want to study at University of Essex 4) You have a passion for European Comparative Public Policy 5) You want to do what or influence what once you are done?" This is an online... ookay, off to edit *edits* *returns* ...online college offering a Liberal Arts MA. Fort Hays State University. And this is my letter: As an immigrant from Egypt with a BA in English literature, including comparative and cultural studies, a background in consciousness-raising work and gender activism, and a lifelong dream of a career conveying these concepts to others and inspiring them to make a difference, I respectfully seek acceptance at your Master of Arts in Liberal Studies program. Culture, critical thinking, history, and social analysis have been the most important fields of study (formal and otherwise) in my life for as long as I can remember. My mission since graduation has been to analyze and question accepted ways of doing things, including sexuality, the monolithic nature of official discourse, and the mainstreaming of the Arabic language and Islam while eroding indigenous tongues and other religions in my native Egypt. As an aficionado of historical narrative, especially that of my native region, the Middle East, and a keen observer of the unseen social currents of religious and gender politics, and cultural norms, mores and values, I have devoted myself to exploring what lies beneath the surface and is visible through the 'iceberg' model of culture. To this end, I have read over 150 books on history, culture, religion, politics and sexuality, among others, mostly about Arab culture. I already am teaching Middle Eastern culture and history at a small language school. The reaction I have received has made me eager to become qualified for a better teaching position in the field of culture/comparative studies. There is so much work to be done in this area to make people truly aware! However, I sense that before being qualified to do this, I am in need of a more thorough academic grounding in epistemology, anthropology and the science of critical thinking skills, as well as in the broader areas of culture and human knowledge, including cross-disciplinary studies and research on cultures outside the mainstream. I am confident that these fields are jut what I need to formalize the learning imparted by my sometimes tumultuous social-political personal experience. While the English Department of Cairo University, where I earned my BA, was a liberal oasis (my majors included Comparative Literature, Civilization and feminist criticism), I later found many of my fellow-Arabs were resistant to a liberal outlook. At that time, the newspapers were abuzz with news of the 'Satanist cult': trumped-up charges (later dismissed by judges as a total fabrication) brought by powerful police officials against American University boys and girls, arrested for wearing black and listening to heavy metal, tortured into confessing crimes they never committed. I became more and more frustrated as people kept telling me, "The newspapers say it; it must be true." For these people, the appearance of difference, and condemnation by the mainstream media, was enough to condemn these unfortunate young people whose only crime had been to assert some individuality and deviate from social norms. The issue became even more complicated and interesting when a number of Europeans I worked with, in a well-intentioned quest for 'cultural sensitivity', ended up with a prescriptive and restrictive definition of Middle Eastern culture: "No, no, boys shouldn't take Home Economics classes. We understand your culture." I preferred to view norms, mores, and values as separate entities and not succumb to the Orientalist view that, lumped together, unchanging and unchangeable, they constituted a monolithic 'culture'. Some of the other questions I asked myself were: What is collective memory? Can one find a descriptive, rather than prescriptive, model of culture? How far does respect for difference erode the rights of the dissenting individual in a collective culture? These are questions whose answers I hope to seek in your program. In 2001, my interest in sexual/religious difference took on a more overtly political nature with the Queen Boat case, where 52 gay men were arrested on trumped-up charges of, yes, Satanism. Unable to stand it any longer, I started a campaign to pressure legal organizations to give them representation in court ("But they're fags! Why represent them?") and alert international human rights organizations to the issue. This had some success; however, it became clear that I was next in line for arrest, and finally I sought political asylum in the U.S. Since coming here, I have studied cinema (earning an associate degree with a 3.8 GPA) made a film on the subject, and am currently preparing a documentary on the veil. In addition to your academic program, which seems to offer a roadmap to the answers for many of my questions, your university is ideal for me in that you offer a course to be taken completely online. This is beyond convenient for me, as I am busy with work and have found that commuting time cuts into my study hours; I would also find it impossible to relocate to Kansas at this time. Also, in an age where education can be, literally, a forbidding expense, my gratitude knows no bounds for your efforts to provide a quality education at a price I can actually afford. I feel it is pertinent here to mention that, just before the exams of my last year at university, I was among a group of students who were holding a peaceful demonstration against the interference of the secret police in student affairs, including sabotaging student union elections. The secret police pelted us with tear gas grenades and rubber bullets; I was unlucky, and had to be carried out of the university with a broken nose and upper respiratory inflammation. When exam time came round, I was not yet recovered (Egyptian universities base the entire grade on one final exam, not on coursework) but made an effort to come to exams and ultimately managed to pass all my tests. However, while my GPA in previous years was significantly higher, as you can see from my transcript, I was unable to make the minimum 2.5 GPA required for the last 60 hours of undergraduate study. This rather lengthy and tedious explanation precedes, as you may be expecting, an urgent and very heartfelt plea that you not allow this unfortunate occurrence to stand in the way of my chances for learning and the ultimate fulfillment of my life's dream. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Your university represents a dream to me, not least thanks to the convenience and cost, which means that the dream is finally within my grasp. It is my dearest hope to become a student at the Master of Arts in Liberal Studies Program, thereby gaining an invaluable academic grounding and ideological framework and positively influencing others thereby. If accepted, I pledge to apply myself to my studies diligently, and never give you cause to doubt the wisdom if your decision. Allow me to thank you, again, for considering my application. Yours sincerely

error checking!

alia — Tue, 06 May 2008 10:58:42 GMT

Hello to everybody,

I find this site very helpful and I used some tips and coments on other posts before writing my own motivation letter to university.

I'm not native english speaker, so can I ask your help in correcting this letter (words, grammar) or if something isn't really convenient to write, please comment.

Thank you in advance,

Here is letter:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I would like to express my interest for admission to a master program Cultural Economics and Cultural Entrepreneurship within *** university.

I have completed four years of undergraduate studies in Tourism and Hospitality management and after graduating I was certain that I want to undertake a postgraduate study. During studies I became very interested in the culture and its affect to tourism and sustainable development of economics. My graduation paper was related to renovation of cultural architectural objects and its impact for surrounding territory and economics where I reviewed the problem of cultural heritage in ***country and came to conclusion that culture can create the balance between material world and society. (for me it seems unfinished here, but I was not able to make a "bridge")

Regarding my career aspirations working in cultural industries and becoming a manager of cultural organization I want to obtain Master's degree in cultural entrepreneurship. This knowledge will allow me to understand specific management principles what is needed in creative industries and I will be able to fully realize my professional goals.

I am confident that I have the necessary combination of self-motivation, background, personality and academic knowledge to succeed in the Masterâs degree program. I hope that my experience at Erasmus University will equip me to manage my future well and also prepare me to make significant contributions to the development of my country.

Should I write some "looking forward... " -like sentence at the end?

Yours faithfully,

Name Surname

Re: Motivation Letter for University Application

Anonymous — Tue, 06 May 2008 01:40:01 GMT

Sorry to write you here, but I'm not very good using internet. I'd like to know if you can check my CL. I'd like to know if it's ok., or it need more information, I don't know how specific it should be, and some people told me that it needed some strong points.

I'll really really appreciated, because I'm looking forward to do my master degree.

Thank you so much for everything and see you soon

Re: Shall I write my name and address at the top right side of my Motivation Letter..?

Clive — Sun, 04 May 2008 18:06:11 GMT

Hi,

Send an application letter, for a job I presume, that begins with 'To whom it may concern'? Surely you jest! [:D]

For reasons that escape me, many of our learners here on the Forum seem endlessly fascinated with the idea of writing letters that start with 'To whom it may concern'.

A search will find a great deal of discussion about this, with many people telling them again and again about how rarely and in what special and uncommon circumstances this phrase is used.

Best wishes, Clive

Re: Shall I write my name and address at the top right side of my Motivation Letter..?

Yoong Liat — Sun, 04 May 2008 14:23:10 GMT

MrPedantic
I'm afraid we are a feckless and idle nation.

MrP

Hi MrP

I'm in no position to comment on what you said, but what I know is that we've quite a number of members who are British English speakers. What has happened to them? I certainly miss them

Best wishes

Re: Shall I write my name and address at the top right side of my Motivation Letter..?

Susankay — Sun, 04 May 2008 14:18:35 GMT

"Yours faithfully" for an application letter? I think not; too familiar.

This is more like a business letter.

In fact, I would make the salutation To Whom It May Concern

and end it with Sincerely,

But then again, I give a US perspective.

Re: Shall I write my name and address at the top right side of my Motivation Letter..?

Yoong Liat — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:28:14 GMT

MrPedantic
Yes, I'd agree with the "unknown recipient"/"Yours faithfully" combination.

(Sorry for the late reply.)

MrP

Thanks, MrP

I was wondering what had happened to our members who are BrE native speakers. I was disappointed that, after a couple of days, none came forward to give a reply.

Anyway, many thanks for your response.

Re: Shall I write my name and address at the top right side of my Motivation Letter..?

MrPedantic — Sat, 03 May 2008 21:14:59 GMT

Yes, I'd agree with the "unknown recipient"/"Yours faithfully" combination.

(Sorry for the late reply.)

MrP

Re: Shall I write my name and address at the top right side of my Motivation Letter..?

Yoong Liat — Sat, 03 May 2008 11:11:02 GMT

Many thanks, Tanguatlay, for bringing up the topic and requesting for a reply from British native speakers.

Many thanks, Feebs and Nona, for giving your authoritative reply.