Search results for 'tag:Nouns tag:Alliteration' matching tags 'Nouns' and 'Alliteration'

Re: My English Writing, need help Please

julielai — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 16:58:39 GMT

Anonymous wrote:

Can you guyss tell me what can I improve on, and how to make it longer. It will be great to have some other comments too. Thank you very much

Teacher's Criteriaescriptive Writing

- Figurative Language: such as simile, metaphor, alliteration, allusion

-Sensory qualities: Sight,sound,taste,touch,smell

-Varied Sentence structure: simple, complex, compound complex

-Evidence of other techniques- Punctuation for effect, specific verbs and nouns, effective adjectives, use of dialouge

- Effective Openings and Endings

- Clear personal voice

My Storage Room

       Parents said that today was the day that the storage room needs to be cleared out, they asked me if I still want to keep anything. I choose to check if I still want anything up there. I pushed the door open, and I walked on the old stairs toward the ceiling. I decided not to open the lights. I heard something is whispering, also moving. I wonder what it is. The room is enveloped with a black cape, looks like the night skies with no stars. (tense consistency)

I kept walking, deeper. The room smells like aging wood, close to the smell of undried paint on the wall (contradictory). I liked the smell, somewhat fresh (you mentioned aging wood). I breathed, the air inhales and cycles (how does the air cycle through your brain?) through my brain. This place is also dusty; when you (sudden shift in point of view) breathe sometime you will suck in a pile of dust, and you need to cough it out. The room doesnât contain a lot of oxygen (But you mention cold air blowing), sometime it really makes you hard to breathe.

Close your eyes and listen carefully, you might hear the petite insects buzzing and humming in the dark. You will feel that you are in a different world, rather in a place thatâs dark and scary.

Cold air (how do you have cold air blowing in a dusty closet with little oxygen?) blowing across my legs when all the windows were shut (how do you get windows in a storage room?). I saw many things that I used before, from most of the objects I touched, the memories emerged to my mind. (Be specific. What things?) There were a lot of antiques and old papers which I put in a box which is ready to be thrown away. The teddy bears, I use to cuddle them when I was small. There are clothingâs that doesnât fit me right now. The drawing and painting that I have made in the past. There are too many things to explain.

       I walked out from the storage room, and I told me mom not to throw anything away from that room, because there are too many memories and things I liked in there. This room might be scary, old, and wormed but its full of important memories from the past.

My English Writing, need help Please

Anonymous — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 10:40:25 GMT

Can you guyss tell me what can I improve on, and how to make it longer. It will be great to have some other comments too. Thank you very much

Teacher's Criteriaescriptive Writing

- Figurative Language: such as simile, metaphor, alliteration, allusion

-Sensory qualities: Sight,sound,taste,touch,smell

-Varied Sentence structure: simple, complex, compound complex

-Evidence of other techniques- Punctuation for effect, specific verbs and nouns, effective adjectives, use of dialouge

- Effective Openings and Endings

- Clear personal voice

My Storage Room

Parents said that today was the day that the storage room needs to be cleared out, they asked me if I still want to keep anything. I choose to check if I still want anything up there. I pushed the door open, and I walked on the old stairs toward the ceiling. I decided not to open the lights. I heard something is whispering, also moving. I wonder what it is. The room is enveloped with a black cape, looks like the night skies with no stars.

I kept walking, deeper. The room smells like aging wood, close to the smell of undried paint on the wall. I liked the smell, somewhat fresh. I breathed, the air inhales and cycles through my brain. This place is also dusty; when you breathe sometime you will suck in a pile of dust, and you need to cough it out. The room doesnât contain a lot of oxygen, sometime it really makes you hard to breathe.

Close your eyes and listen carefully, you might hear the petite insects buzzing and humming in the dark. You will feel that you are in a different world, rather in a place thatâs dark and scary.

Cold air blowing across my legs when all the windows were shut.. I saw many things that I used before, from most of the objects I touched, the memories emerged to my mind. There were a lot of antiques and old papers which I put in a box which is ready to be thrown away. The teddy bears, I use to cuddle them when I was small. There are clothingâs that doesnât fit me right now. The drawing and painting that I have made in the past. There are too many things to explain.

I walked out from the storage room, and I told me mom not to throw anything away from that room, because there are too many memories and things I liked in there. This room might be scary, old, and wormed but its full of important memories from the past.

Re: The use of the genitive with inanimate objects.

Crux_online — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 14:39:32 GMT

Riglos wrote:
1. How can we distinguish between a descriptive genitive and a compound noun?

The descriptive Genative will be an inflected Genative using the apostrophe, just like the possessive. This appears to be an argument of semantics; the foundation of which rests in whether you accept the premise that inanimate objects can possess attributes.

Riglos wrote:
2. How can we decide whether it is better to use the inflected genitive, as in "the mountain's top" or the periphrastic genitive, as in "the top of the moutain"?

This will depend on the audience. If you're speaking with the 'crusty purist' from the first paragraph, you may want to use periphrastic Genatives, otherwise it may just be a matter rhythm, meter, and alliteration. In my opinion, compound nouns are preferred over inflected Genatives of inanimate objects.

Also, use these:

1a. Loading into memory non-resident programs as required is one task of the supervisor program.(= periphrastic genitive?)

2b. Communicating directly with the hardware is the role of the operating system . (= periphrastic genitive?)

Riglos wrote:
3a. Supporting multiple programs and users is part of the mainframe operating sytems work. (= compound noun?) I think this construction is not possible for the other versions are quite clearer. Anyway, is it wrong?

Not wrong, but terribly cumbersome.

3b. Supporting multiple programs and users is part of the work of mainframe operating sytems. (= periphrastic genitive?)

Riglos wrote:
4a. Allowing the computer to process data faster is the main reason for more memory installing. (= compound noun?) I think this one is utterly wrong, for the gerund, here "installing" should come first and, afterwards, its objects or complements. Is this explanation sound? Otherwise, the elements in the sentence are reversed, but is it acceptable anyway?

Memory installing isn't really a compound noun, rather a verbal backformation converted to a gerund. These are very bad constructions and should be avoided.

Consider the following:
underage drinking (n.) > underage drink (v.) ?!?
people watching (n.) > people watch (v.) ?!?

4b. Allowing the computer to process data faster is the main reason for installing more memory.

5a. Processing quickly large amounts of data is one of the most important functions of a computer.

I would use 'Processing large amounts of data quickly is one of...' because quickly describes not just how it processes, but how it process large amounts of data.

Mind you, these are just my opinions, but I hope they helped a little.

Re: Can someone PLZ help me with --> Alliteration in Poems<--

abbie1948 — Sun, 03 Apr 2005 00:23:47 GMT

Hi Illusen,

Definition:
Alliteration: noun.
The use, especially in poetry, of the same sound or sounds, especially consonants, at the beginning of several words that are close together:

Here is a site you may find helpful

http://www.primaryresources.co.uk/literacy/PC_alit.htm

And this one is a vocabulary of alliterative words.

http://www.xs4all.nl/~in/Poet/VocAll.htm

This is an example of an alliteraton poem from http://www.poemsnpoetry.com/

Alliteration Poem

One wet wellington walked on water
Two tired travellers tried to talk
Three thick thorns thought thick thorn thoughts
Four frantic fish fought for flat fish fins
Five fit flies flew forward fast
Six slow snails saw swooping sparrows
Seven sneaky snakes slid slyly and silently
Eight eating earwigs eat an entire egg
Nine naughty nettles nick nice knockers
Ten tall tornadoes tear tiny tents.

Why not post your 1st draft on the site, and we'll see if we can help?

Search results for 'tag:Nouns tag:Alliteration' matching tags 'Nouns' and 'Alliteration'

Re: My English Writing, need help Please

My English Writing, need help Please

Re: The use of the genitive with inanimate objects.

Re: Can someone PLZ help me with --&gt; Alliteration in Poems&lt;--

Re: Can someone PLZ help me with --> Alliteration in Poems<--