Search results for 'tag:Nouns tag:Jokes' matching tags 'Nouns' and 'Jokes'

Re: Salt: uncountable noun?

Anonymous — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:28:16 GMT

CalifJim

On some days we are lazy, and on other days we are quite energetic, but I don't see what that has to do with salt.

Calif Jim, I guess the author meant if we are lazy TO COUNT.. the grains of salt probably. Taking it seriously - if we weren't "lazy", salt would be countable because we could count the grains, huh? But as a joke... I think I've heard better ones...

A Little Help with Capitals

angel_tristan0409 — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 10:07:10 GMT

A Little Help with Capitals

This handout lists some guidelines for capitalization. If you have a question about whether a specific word should be capitalized that doesn't fit under one of these rules, try checking a dictionary to see if the word is capitalized there.

Use capital letters in the following ways:

The first words of a sentence

When he tells a joke, he sometimes forgets the punch line.

The pronoun "I"

The last time I visited Atlanta was several years ago.

Proper nouns (the names of specific people, places, organizations, and sometimes things)

Worrill Fabrication Company

Golden Gate Bridge

Supreme Court

Livingston, Missouri

Atlantic Ocean

Mothers Against Drunk Driving

Family relationships (when used as proper names)

I sent a thank-you note to Aunt Abigail, but not to my other aunts.

Here is a present I bought for Mother.

Did you buy a present for your mother?

The names of God, specific deities, religious figures, and holy books

God the Father

the Virgin Mary

the Bible

the Greek gods

Moses

Shiva

Buddha

Zeus

Exception: Do not capitalize the non-specific use of the word "god."

The word "polytheistic" means the worship of more than one god.

Titles preceding names, but not titles that follow names

She worked as the assistant to Mayor Hanolovi.

I was able to interview Miriam Moss, mayor of Littonville.

Directions that are names (North, South, East, and West when used as sections of the country, but not as compass directions)

The Patels have moved to the Southwest.

Jim's house is two miles north of Otterbein.

The days of the week, the months of the year, and holidays (but not the seasons used generally)

Halloween

October

Friday

winter

spring

fall

Exception: Seasons are capitalized when used in a title.

The Fall 1999 semester

The names of countries, nationalities, and specific languages

Costa Rica

Spanish

French

English

The first word in a sentence that is a direct quote

Emerson once said, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

The major words in the titles of books, articles, and songs (but not short prepositions or the articles "the," "a," or "an," if they are not the first word of the title)

One of Jerry's favorite books is The Catcher in the Rye.

Members of national, political, racial, social, civic, and athletic groups

Green Bay Packers

African-Americans

Anti-Semitic

Democrats

Friends of the Wilderness

Chinese

Periods and events (but not century numbers)

Victorian Era

Great Depression

Constitutional Convention

sixteenth century

Trademarks

Pepsi

Honda

IBM

Microsoft Word

Words and abbreviations of specific names (but not names of things that came from specific things but are now general types)

Freudian

NBC

pasteurize

french fries

italics

Re: Noun number and determiner

Goodman — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 15:20:43 GMT

Hi KVE,
Welcome!
<<<<Variations in noun number and determiners:
. - If he is a pianist or a singer, yes, you can say. "he performed [for ] many charities [last year]". Note the brackets.
. "Perform" is a verb with broad meaning. He performed poorly on the project= He didn't show his best ability on the project.But your sentence also carries a hint that he could be involved with charity work.

She loves to pull your legs.- This is ok. This means she loves to do practical jokes on you, or kid around with you.

Re: Collocating the adjective "complicate".

Anonymous — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 11:13:04 GMT

<No, I got your joke. You missed mine.>

I think you missed the thread question; Mr P. Can you reply to it?

<<<Which nouns would you say collocate with "complicate" (the adjective)? >>>

Re: MM's 10-letter word

Mister Micawber — Fri, 30 May 2008 23:34:26 GMT

.
pejoration -- No. What happened to pluperfect?
Is it ... an adjective? a noun? a verb? -- A noun

Would you say it's related to ... grammar? vocabulary? pronunciation?-- Pronunciation.

I'm not going to be very coy with this one, because I don't think it's in anyone's active vocabulary. I just happened to think of it because it's related to Spoonerisms... and I had to look it up to check the spelling. It is a phenomenon which produced this mouldy old joke:

A Latino named Jose went to America to see the Yankees vs. the Red Socks. When he got his ticket, it was in the nosebleed section. He did not care what section he was in. Anyway, it was game day. Everyone stood for the National Anthem. When Jose got home, he said, "Mama, they made a song in America just for me." -- "How does it go, hijo?" -- "It goes, 'Jose, can you see?'

Re: comments

Clive — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 11:40:50 GMT

Hi,

A team of constestants has been assigned to guide a group of tourists around the city and entertain them on a bus. Steve is the leader and he is in charge of providing the tourists information as the bus passes various landmarks in the city. After a while, the team realize Steve is not doing a good job and another team member takes over his job and saves the day.

I find the passage above unnatural but can't tell why. Some parts of it sound unnecessary or lack of information. For example "entertain them on a bus" sounds redundant because usually the word guide when used in tour contexts, implies providing information and most of the time some entertainment like jokes and etc. Yes, it sounds like he is going to sing/dance/do something very special.

The only extra information is bus. Also, "in charge of providing information" sounds wordy and unelegant. Yes. Perhaps :providing a commentary".

I know there's no right or wrong when it comes to style. It's something learners and even native speakers learn over time. But I hope some comments will speed up the learning process. I would love to get some comments and suggestions.

'Guide . . . around ' does not sound like a bus tour to me, it sounds more active, like perhaps a walking tour. Perhaps reword to just use the slightly more passive-sounding noun 'guide'?

'Contestants' seems an odd word to choose. Is this some sort of contest?

I'd say 'on the bus' if the whole tour is on a bus.

Avoid repetition of words and ideas. eg

Steve is the leader and he is in charge of providing the tourists information as the bus passes various landmarks ~~in the city~~. After a while, the team realize Steve is not doing a good job so ~~and~~ another team member takes over ~~his job~~ and saves the day.

The word 'so' makes the meaning 'tighter, sharper'.

Best wishes, Clive

Re: laugh at many of his jokes

CalifJim — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 08:36:15 GMT

Technically, at doesn't refer to anything. at is not a referring expression. Generally, only nouns and pronouns can refer.

Nevertheless, I understand what you're saying.

Here at means 'upon hearing' or 'when I heard' or 'as I heard' or 'in reaction to' or 'as a reaction to'.

I didn't laugh upon hearing many of his jokes.

Re: Fun Learning Jokes :)

Kooyeen — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 17:28:21 GMT

Hi there Hummingbird,
very interesting! I like to play with words, how they are pronounced, etc.
But there's a problem:

Hummingbird wrote:
you're nut about something, it means that you're extremely enthusiastic about it.

I think it has to be nuts, plural... The adjective "nuts" means "crazy". But I just checked in my dictionary, and I found out that the noun "nut" means "crazy person". So I think it's "nuts" when it's the adjective (You are nuts!), and "nut" when it's the noun (You are a nut!).

Re: please proofread this (I hope the format is fine now)

Stepan Stepanovici — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:12:50 GMT

Hi Grammar Geek,

Thank you sou much for your comments, they are very helpful!

Yes, they are indeed resume bullets (not sentences!) that are supposed to sum up the activities of the institute. Now, to answer your questions:

1. - test stands=a kind of tables endowed with various devices for performing tests (I found many occurences of the phrase on the net)

- various industrial branches ... that's all! They don't nention anything more about what these branches really are! Can't I leave it this way?

4. - to trade studies: I was intending to say: to commercialize some studies that the company has already carried out. Is it better to use "commercialise" instead?

I have another question: in the first "noun bullet" I used "plant" as a collective noun meaning "large machines and equipment". Shouldn't I use the singular then?

PS1: I know that the text sounds rather abstract and "cold"... Believe me, the same thing is available for the original.

PS2: I am indeed very grateful for your help and patience and, considering I'm not such a reliable translator (as you noticed), I really don't know how I could ever return your service. So, if you ever need a translation into or from Romanian (ha ha ha), I'm here for help! This is the mail that I use more often: stefir75@yahoo.com. ...You remember the old joke with the Englishman walking through the desert and bumping into several haberdashers, asking them for a glass of water and being offered a tie instead. When he reaches the 5 star hotel to finally quench his thirst, he is not allowed in because he doesn't have a tie. So, buy a tieee!

Re: GUESS MY WORD

Mister Micawber — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 12:27:19 GMT

An adjective?-- If User_ Gary uses it (and who's Gary?) -- This is an in-joke for Moderators. The answer is 'no'.
A number? -- 137 (uh-oh, lemme think... pretty tough clue, can't I get a yes or a no?">) -- Oh-- I thought you were just asking for a number, so I gave you one. 'No'.
Is it countable? -- Sometimes (hmm... what can be countable sometimes, and sometimes not...) -- It can be countable when it's a noun and uncountable when it's a verb.

Q: Is it SOLID? -- Not very.