Search results for 'tag:Paragraphs tag:IELTS' matching tags 'Paragraphs' and 'IELTS'

Re: would you please check my IELTS Writing Task 2 introduction paragraph[Thanks!]

bmatt — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:50:45 GMT

RayH
International tourism is increasingly popular nowadays because of the highly developed world transportation system, commercialization and many other factors. But at the same time, controversy has arisen over whether international tourism has more benefits than drawbacks. Some assert that international tourism can ~~usually~~ often bring ~~more~~ positive results. Speaking for myself, I agree with this proposition, with certain qualifications.

Comments:
I deleted "usually" because it doesn't fit with the context of the paragraph, "often" is a much better fit to what you seem to be saying.
"more" doesn't have any reference in the rest of the paragraph. Presumably you mean "more positive than negative results" but from the paragraph alone that is not clear.
There is something not quite right about the overall paragraph. It seems like it dances all around its point but never really makes its point. Maybe some actual examples of good and bad results of international tourism would help.

Dear Ray,

many thanks for your help! And great point! I done some modificatios according to your comments..

HTML clipboardInternational tourism is increasingly popular nowadays because of the highly developed world transportation system, commercialization and many other factors. But at the same time, controversy has arisen over whether international tourism has more benefits than drawbacks. Some assert that international tourism can often bring more positive results than negative ones, and it could benefit many areas such as economy with less trade-off to make. Speaking for myself, I agree with this proposition, with certain qualifications.

I tried to fit in an example..however, even myself will not buy my introduction paragraph..I will think about it harder and make more improvements.

again, thanks for your help, and let me know if the modified version OK?

Lei

Re: would you please check my IELTS Writing Task 2 introduction paragraph[Thanks!]

RayH — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 03:40:02 GMT

International tourism is increasingly popular nowadays because of the highly developed world transportation system, commercialization and many other factors. But at the same time, controversy has arisen over whether international tourism has more benefits than drawbacks. Some assert that international tourism can ~~usually~~ often bring ~~more~~ positive results. Speaking for myself, I agree with this proposition, with certain qualifications.

Comments:
I deleted "usually" because it doesn't fit with the context of the paragraph, "often" is a much better fit to what you seem to be saying.
"more" doesn't have any reference in the rest of the paragraph. Presumably you mean "more positive than negative results" but from the paragraph alone that is not clear.
There is something not quite right about the overall paragraph. It seems like it dances all around its point but never really makes its point. Maybe some actual examples of good and bad results of international tourism would help.

would you please check my IELTS Writing Task 2 introduction paragraph[Thanks!]

bmatt — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 15:31:52 GMT

Could you please help me review this paragraph and make any correction if needed (grammar...misused word, and so on)?

Topic: Some people think the advantages of international tourism outweigh its disadvantages. To what extend do you agree?

My introduction paragraph:
International tourism is increasingly popular nowadays because of the highly developed world transportation system, commercialization and many other factors. But at the same time, controversy has arisen over whether international tourism has more benefits than drawbacks. Some assert that international tourism can usually bring more positive results. Speaking for myself, I agree with this proposition, with certain qualifications.

==

Many thanks,
Lei

Could you please help me with the introduction of this essay?

bmatt — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:36:26 GMT

Question: Should experiments be conducted on animals for the benefit of human beings?

My introduction paragraph is like this:

According to the recent research, there are 50 to 100 million of animals worldwide , from Zebra-fish to non-human primates, are used in scientific experiments. Yet at the same time, whether human should conduct experiment on animals is subject to much debate. Some one think it is beneficial for human while others argue that it should be band. I agree with the former view, but with reservations.

Could you please help me to review and give me some suggestions?

Many Thanks,

Matt

Re: Need some help in regards to my IELTS practice essay

julielai — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 03:31:30 GMT

Add this to your first paragraph:

Being a non-smoker I agree to smoking bans in certain settings, such as workplaces and enclosed public spaces, mainly on the grounds of hygiene and safety.

Re: Would you please comment my essay?

Anonymous — Mon, 14 May 2007 09:15:19 GMT

Hi Doll,

I am preparing for the IELTS (International English Language Testing System) test which will be by the end of the week. Writing is an important part of the exam, we may be given any topic (Food, Weather, ... ). We should write at least 250words and 4 paragraphs (Introduction: introduce the main idea briefly; Parag.Â°1,Â°2 and/or Â°3 discuss the Advantages/Disadvantages or Negative/Positives aspects of the subject. At the end, in the conclusion we give personal opinion if asked (Like: in what extend do you agree/disegree) or a general idea. Doesn't matter whether the opinion is 100% realistic or not at all as soon as the text is grammatically, logicaly ( Linkage through paragraphs) correct.

I tried myself to correct the original text I wrote, so I posted here (in my first response to you) a second version.

Thank you for any comment..

Re: Please help me !!!!! task 2 writing IELTS.....***

Anonymous — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 01:40:33 GMT

Dear Dung,

I took this test two months ago and as far as I can remember they change the issues to write about - so there is no need to learn the answers to your questions by heart...

To improve your writing skills you should go to the library and look up words in the dictionary which can help you to swap between the paragraphs, to build up a structrue, etc.. Such as: Firstly, by and large, on the one hand - on the the other hand, etc..
Moreover you should look up words which can help you in the writing part 1 (where you must describe charts or graphs or a progress)
When you know some of these vocabularies it is easier for you to concentrate on the theme itself.
Because you said that sometimes your knowledge is bad: All they want is to see that you can argue: Take a point of view you don't agree with when it is easier for you: It doesn't matter if you lie - they won't ask you!
Before you begin to write: Sit down and write your pros and cons in headwords on a sheet - so you cant get lost in your argumentation, take care that you follow a structure!
Furthermore they won't count every mistake you will make in the writing test but you should avoid redundant errors. Take some time at the end of the test to go through the text!
The most important hint: Practice! After a while you will get used to these -sometimes really silly - questions. Think of possible question. Perhaps you are lucky and you will be asked similar questions.

Perhaps I'm wrong but your expression "English is not good cause i am from VIETNAM" isn't an excuse: This test is only for people whose mothertongue isn't English. But take it also as a chance they all have to cope with their special false friends. In Germany we have got a saying: They all boil just with water. (I know I am unfair to say that because it was much easier for me to take that test as my first language is German and these two languages show a lot of parallels.)

Nevertheless I wish you good luck!

Moe

Re: a letter welcome to be corrected

Leolyy — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 07:49:55 GMT

Hi Goodman,

Thanks again. actually, this is a complaint letter I wrote for the preparation for the ielts test, just as what i did last time.

in my fist paragraph, "unsatisfactory product" is shorter and simpler, then why you made the modification? i mean it is obvious that your writing is often more developed, i mean at a level that is hard for me to reach in a short time. so do you think what i wrote is quite ok, i mean such as the tone, chinglish..

i notice you have deleted the 3rd paragraph, where i do have some unclear points, such as:

"I would like you to.." is this expression too demanding or just equal to "I hope you could.."?

"Here is my request that I hope to be reasonably considered." is this one quite ok or too wordy or something?

thanks

Chengwei Liu

Re: Could somone, also checkmy motivation letter.Please.Thanks!

Clive — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 00:58:16 GMT

Hi ADELS,

Welcome to the Forum.

I've done my best.

I wish you good luck with this.

Clive

Dear Sir/Madam:

I suggest that you add a first paragraph to sumarize the situation. eg

My recent application for UK permanent residency was recently rejected because of my IELTS scores. All of my scores met the required standard, except that my reading score was very slightly below, by 0.5. With this letter I would like to request special consideration that will permit me to remain in the UK as a permanent resident. Please allow me to start my new life. I will be able to support myself financially without any need for public funds

I have studied English over many years. I am a good learner, highly motivated and have fluent English; please find enclosed my secondary education certificate copy, my university first year preparatory program, my British Council confirmation letter of English courses and my migrant status approval letter from the Home Office. I am confident that I am qualified and able to meet all the requirements of registration. I believe in my ability to communicate perfectly in English in my professional environment as a ********. If I had not been ill on the day of the exam, I could definitely have achieved the lost 0.5 point in the reading element. (any chance of getting a note from your doctor about the illness?)

My new life in England has just begun. I am eager to learn more, to do more and to be more. <<<< nice words I have no doubt that living and working in an English environment will improve my English even further. I would like to use my medical skills to help ill people in the UK. I want to practice my profession legally ,to be able to finance myself and to prepare for my post-graduate degree in ************ next year. I believe the 0.5 point in reading will not affect my ability to communicate and practice as a *************** in any way. I have already been awarded membership of the Society of ********** in the UK. <<< If you have a good profession and some success already , perhaps you should mention this at the beginning of the letter? I enjoy spending time with English people and I am eager to make the UK my home. The last thing I want to do as an immigrant in the UK is to live as a parasite depending on public funds. I want to be a productive member of the country's work force.

Thank you for taking the time to review my letter and application. Please give me this opportunity. Your consideration and assistance will be very much appreciated. I look forward to your positive response. If you have further questions, please feel free to contact me.

Yours sincerely,

Please help to check this essay. Thanks

Rubycup — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 07:15:41 GMT

I am working on Focus on IELTS and did the first essay in that book. Please help me to check and let me know what you think. Thank you very much.

PS: the record in the essay was provided by the book.

Individually, write 3 paragraphs on the following topic

Writing topic: What are the key problems facing the worldâs cities in the 21^st century and what can be done for them?

The citiesâ population all over the world is growing significantly, in order to help citizens to have the better life, authorities are trying to improving living conditions and infrastructure, however they are also facing many problems that need to be solved. Two of the most critical problems are environmental pollution and heavy traffic that are closely connected with each other.

Environmental pollution is likely to be the global issue that responsible management persons are concentrating to solve by organizing many conferences every year to discuss about it and developing some effective solutions. The main reason for that (especially at the developing countries) is the proliferating construction of buildings and industrial zones as well as factories and plants for manufacturing many kinds of goods. The appropriate allocation of urban scheme is the right answer for this problem. There should be many different divided areas for many purposes of citizensâ lives. For example: for entertainment, there are theater and cinema combinations in the center of the city to attract the citizens to go out and have fun, for manufacturing, plants and factories should be built outside the cities and they have to be checked regularly about hygiene and drainage system problems, as well as for amusement, parks should be constructed in everywhere of the city with the open spaces, green trees, lakes and ponds for citizens to breath fresh air.

Nowadays, heavy traffic is the major problem of many countries, especially the big cities. The cause is the crowded personal transportation means including: cars, buses, trains, motorbikesâ¦For example: the population in New York City is 18.9 million people and there are 28.2 % among them driving to work every day. Government should build public transportation widely and encourage the citizens to use it effectively as well as imposing the high tax to personal vehicles and increasing the petroleum and gas prices.