Re: Proper Use of Apostrophes (Dos and Don'ts about Do's and Don't's)

Anonymous — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 05:12:28 GMT

Evening!

I'm an author and dislike the everchanging rules of grammar as much as anyone else does. Grammar was invented to facilitate communication, especially written communication when voice inflection cannot be heard. However, I write serious novels, as opposed to trashy stories, and my readers don't care about grammar rules (for the most part) when abiding by them makes reading difficult or awkward. The last thing I want to do in the middle of an engaging paragraph is jolt my readers from the mood I've (hopefully) lured them into just to satisfy some arbitrary grammar rule.

I wouldn't consider writing do's and don't's or dos and don'ts. I write do's and don'ts and that's that, so to speak. I've never had a single complaint about my use of grammar, let alone a book returned yet. I have, on the other hand, had requests to refrain
from using 'Words I have to look up,' such as jejune, abstruse, evanescent, recondite, and so on. I guess education ain't what it used to be, LOL! Consistency is mandatory in whatever one chooses to write and that's tough when one is writing a seven-novel saga!

Blessings to you all - J.

Re: I want to learn to speak clearly-What do I have to know/do?

Anonymous — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 08:35:36 GMT

I also have also had problems speaking clearly and coherently, making me seem less intelligent that i think i am. And as a result i have lost opportunties for relationships i had very much hoped for, so i had to be determined to work out my speaking problem. I think there are many reasons for me rambling non-sensically in person, some are:

1)feeling shy/inadquate/self conscious compared to those i am speaking with, and trying to impress too much (probably from having bad experiences with my fumbling language and social skills).

2) not having much experience/practice at expressing my thoughts verbally

3) not really sitting down and thinking my thoughts through logically and forming them well to myself before i go and sprout my opinions off.

4) not being formally taught the right way to structure my sentences. i dont know why i can speak so much more clearly on paper than in person.

But the way have attempted to fix this problem is by writing down on some paper some rules for me to follow when i am having my say in a conversation. (i collect these rules from books i read on communication at the library). and reading over those rules every night before bed, and asking myself: did i break any of those rules that day?, and what happend when i did?, and how could I have done it differently?. and trying to do better the next day.

Some of the rules on my list are these:

1) When a comment is made to you that was meant as a conversation starter, do not give one word answers, and NEVER EVER just start and continue talking until the other person interrupts you. Give brief responses, with clear pauses in it for interruption. You will either look like a mute or a babbling fool if you do anything else. Give brief but complete answers with a definite pause at the end to hand the conversation back over clearly. Donât just talk until you are interrupted. Give pauses for people to interject, and also this sounds much more powerful and simple. Most people are taught to not interrupt. and it can make people feel distressed if you donât, and then frustrated and bored. many people either talk too much or too little as their response. dont make your message too long or too short.

2) dont try to say too many things at once. make one point at a time, decide what is the most important thing you want to say is, and say that, and then hand the conversation back over.

3) when you tell a story or make a point, say the main idea first, and then add supporting detail afterwards (usually just one supporting detailafterwards, not 600). eg an example, a statistic, a story to support your point. keep it short and simple and you will have more weight to your words. and sound more powerful and authoriative and easy to listen to. dont make it hard work for them to listen to you. be economical with your words.

4) dont say anything without saying why you think that, so they understand why you feel that way. or else it sounds bossy, and opinionated, and not worth listening to.

5) pause before you speak, it sounds authorative. and also gives you time to think. think before you speak, dont just regurgitate information, its amazing how much structure you mind can give to your thoughts in 2 seconds.

6) The value of information depends on its relevance, how up to date it is, how complete it is, the timing that it is received, its impartiality, and its presentation.

7) becareful how you end your message. dont weaken your point by saying anything that could contradict your message, at the end of your message. just leave nothign at the end. to give your message structure, my english teacher used to say "tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them what you just told them". there should be a beginnign a middle and an end to your paragraph.

8) know what the purpose/goal of your message is before you give one. all communication is desgined to either inform, entertain, or persuade, or all.

9) make sure you use correct grammar, and use downwards inflections with your voice when you talk to sound more authorative and you can show if you are about to end your message or keep going talkign or not. keep it simple, with a main point first, and some kind of examples to help them understand, and then let them have their say.

* body language plays a large roll as well, but i am just saying some points about how i try to structure my messages now.

these are just some things on my list.

i hope it helps.

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