Search results for 'tag:Paragraphs tag:Metaphors' matching tags 'Paragraphs' and 'Metaphors'

Re: grammar/vocabulary

Avangi — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 21:37:36 GMT

Hi knjiga, Welcome to the English Forums. Thanks for joining us.

IMHO "Doubtlessly" doesn't fly here. Sadly spoiling your alliteration, I'd go with "Doubtless, those tributaries are divergent." The image is still problematic. I wouldn't exactly call it a mixed metaphor, but rather a mixed-level metaphor. (I made that up.) The contents of a tributary is/are water. Surely the contents are her knowledge and experiences, but I'm not sure to what extent you should speak on both levels at the same time. I think of divergence as an action. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood." It's something the roads do. While you may travel a road in both directions, a river usually flows in only one. When two tributaries come together, it's called a confluence. I think a divergence in a river would be close to the end of it's journey, where it fans out at the delta and takes two different paths. In other words, I think your river is trying to flow upstream.

Well, I'm tempted to scrap all this. My dictionary lists many different uses for "diverge," even what I would call "divert," which I've always thought of as something entirely different. To me, diverge is the opposite of converge, which clearly implies a direction of flow. (Another term that comes to mind is "bifurcation" - definitely not poetic - as when your carotid artery splits into two flows in your neck.)

I'm going to just leave this for your consideration. You may be completely justified in your usage, so don't let me discourage you. I see that you return to the metaphor later in your paragraph, so I think the issue is worth vetting.

It's good writing. Keep up the good work.

Best wishes, - A.

Re: Paragraph Suggestions

Mister Micawber — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 23:25:14 GMT

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I suppose that this is a vocabulary and composition assignment from your teacher, but this style of writing is inappropriate for such mundane topics. I have underlined problem areas and struck out inappropriate metaphors and other words:

My computer, the ~~caretaker~~ of my studies, lies over the ~~flat~~ table at the ~~other~~ side of my desk. Although it is a machine ~~but~~ in my weak spellings and grammar, it is a life saver. Usually it does my long sentences and paragraphâs final revision ~~is done by it~~. A heavy monitor is ~~lying~~ on the top with a gray protected shield and some sack of books and a cd stand beside it. Just below I see my ~~easy-to-press~~ keyboard carrying the ~~soft sound~~ keys on it. Two audio speakerâs stands at each side of monitor like ~~high~~ trees surround the valley. The ~~fast-pace~~ mouse is firmly stays [verb is appropriate?-- No] on the top of the black sponge pad, next to the keyboard. Down on the shelf stands the nerve center, the central ~~control~~ processing unit with its complicated integrated system. In front of table, ~~I see~~ a small frail stool resting on my ~~bright~~ carpet~~âs outer rim~~.

Paragraph Suggestions

Cute572 — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 15:59:44 GMT

Hello Guys!

Please check my paragraph for mistakes and wrong wordings.

And tell me, metaphor i used in opening line, can we use like this in topic sentences?

Thanks!

The computer, the caretaker of my studies, lies over the flat table at the other side of my desk. Although it serves as a machine but in my weak spellings and grammar, it works like a life saver. Usually my long sentences and paragraphâs final revision is done by it. A heavy monitor is lying on the top with gray protected shield and some sack of books and a cd stand beside it. Just below I see my easy-to-press keyboard carrying the soft sound keys on it. Two audio speakerâs stands at each side of monitor like high trees surround the valley. The fast-pace mouse is firmly stays [verb is appropriate?] on the top of the black sponge pad, next to the keyboard. Down on the shelf stands the nerve center, the central control processing unit with its complicated integrated system. In front of table, I see a small frail stool resting on my bright carpetâs outer rim.

Check the metaphors as well and if they doesnt fit this way, then also suggest me.

Re: Paragraph

Cute572 — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 17:20:56 GMT

Hey guys now please check my paragraph again for mistakes and some suggestions to add good metaphors or improvements.

Thanks !

The computer lies over the wooden table against the mid-wall of my room. Its gradual help in my studies supported me like caretaker. Usually my spelling and grammar are being formatted by this apparently called the machine. The monitor holding gray shield is lying on the top of table, with some sack of books and a cd stand beside it. Just below I see easy-to-press keyboard having soft sound keys on it. Along with it goes mouse, the rolling hand of my desktop screen, smoothly lies on top of black sponge pad[non-essential clause]. A two audios speaker stands at each side of monitor like balmy trees on lake side. All these twine [or use blend] by the central nerve centre CPU, which stands at lower shelf of table and control the whole system like a captain of the ship. In front of the table I see a small round stool resting over my bright carpet's side line.

Re: Paragraph

Cute572 — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 21:46:17 GMT

Hello Grammar Geek, thanks for helping me here!

Well I donât understand the previous post. Giant size, are you saying about speaker size I should emphasis for metaphor?

My light-brown table placed on the opposite side opposite side of the bed from what? of the bed,Don't seperate the subject from its verb lifts wrong word- supports, or holds my intelligent computer system.

My light brown table supports the intelligent computer system at the opposite side of bed.

NOW the sentence agree with subject and verb? Is any thing u can suggest me to make this sentence attractive ?

Sorry at the end sentence, I forgot to add noun "Stool", I see a small, round [can i use word "fragile" instead of round here?] stool, lying on my bright carpet.

Also I want to know, in non essential clauses, subject is separated from verb. Why is that?

Re: in the cold of winter

Mister Micawber — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 03:09:01 GMT

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It does not seem like a poem-- it has no rhythm, no rhyme, no imagery, no metaphor. Without the artificial line breaks, it would be a simple paragraph:

In the cold of winter, snow and ice, you gave me a match lit with fire, and only then I realized that I was cold. I shiver now, feel cold and warmth, but you have to come back and give me warmth once more, lest I will freeze to death in the cold of winter.

It is also inconsistent in concept. In the cold of winter, the speaker was not cold until s/he was given a match lit with fire (what else are matches lit with??). Now s/he feels warmth, so the loved one should come back and give warmth (which seems quite unnecessary now. Suddenly the speaker might freeze to death. Obviously, s/he was better off before the guy with the match came along.

It is not a good poem. You need to work harder than just comparing love (or lust) with heat.

when the chips are down

Taka — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:06:34 GMT

When it really counts, meaning is almost never communicated according toÂ the conduit metaphor, that is,Â whereÂ one person transmits a fixed, clear proposition to another by means of expressions in a common language, whereÂ both parties have all the relevant common knowledge, assumptions, values, etc.Â When the chips are down, meaning isÂ negotiated: you slowly figure out what you have in common, what it is safe to talk about, how you can communicate unshared experience or create a shared vision.

--

Is it safe to say that 'when the chips are down' is semantically almost the same as 'when it really counts', which is at the top of the paragraph?

Re: Need help please - are my three sentences correct? Thanks!

Mister Micawber — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 13:37:21 GMT

Hello Katiaaa-- and welcome to English Forums.

Your paragraph is much too dense, and the metaphors are mixed and not always appropriate. Your reader will never have the patience to keep reading. Something like this is what you should aim for:

The lake smoked with a blanket of fog so dense your own arm would be lost in its whiteness. The sun alone was just waking up in this ageless place. The early morning silence was complete: even the birds were still dreaming of the short Altai summer night.

Re: Commentary on Hamlet's soliloquy

Clive — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 22:28:49 GMT

Hi,

Where you have put semi-colons, I'd usually use commas. I have also suggested some other changes to your punctuation. My general advice is not to get into the habit of using semi-colons and colons. They can often make tyour meaning more obscure rather than more clear.

You seem to have a very good understanding of this topic. I've broken up your one huge paragraph into two. Are there any other ways you can make your organization clearer to the reader?

Best wishes, Clive

Commentary on "To Be or not to Be"

In this soliloquy Hamlet sparks an internal philosophical debate on the advantages and disadvantages of existence, and whether it is one's right to end one's own life. He first asks himself thoughtfully whether it is nobler to bear the miseries of life or to take arms against them; but since both passive and active resistance are doomed to failure, he regards death as a mean to end oneâs sorrows once and for all. He sees death from a Medieval perspective, as physical liberation from the prison of the body (the âmortal coilâ); but he also symbolizes the doubt of the Renaissance man, concerning the after life. Indeed he faces an obstacle, that is to say the fear of âwhat dreams may comeâ in that sleep of death. If death were like a dreamless sleep, it would be easy to put an end to the misfortunes of life with a single stroke, but since we donât know what to expect in the afterlife, we havenât courage enough commit suicide. He says that the troubles of life are such that no one would willingly bear them, but our cowardice makes us âbear those ills we have / than fly to others that we know not ofâ.

In his soliloquy, Hamlet uses various gramatical structures to express his uncertainty, such as the infinitive forms. His speech takes shape slowly because of its thoughtful nature. The climax is reached when Hamlet lists the injustices and miseries of life, concluding that it would only take a small does his word 'mere' mean 'small' or does it mean 'unimportant'? knife to bring relief. He also uses metaphors, such as that of the mortal coil, that of the unknown country from where no traveller comes back, and that of the opposition between the pale cast of thought and the native hue of resolution. This one in particular helps us understand that for Hamlet courage is the ability to cross the border between life and death; but most people are cowards and this cowardice, through âthe pale cast of thoughtâ, makes us stay alive. The soliloquy elevates Hamletâs individual case to an universal level; this is achieved through the use of the plural pronouns 'we' and 'us', the indefinite 'who', and the impersonal infinitive. Its problematic nature is shown by the insistent use of interrogatives, while the internal struggle within Hamletâs mind is pointed out by the use of images from the battle-field (âslings and arrowsâ, which has become an idiomatic expression, and âto take arms against a sea of troublesâ). In the middle of the soliloquy we can find an enumeration of lifeâs misfortunes; while reflecting upon the nature of death Hamlet uses a repetition (âto die, to sleepâ). Finally, we can find a term from the financial semantic field, âquietusâ.

Re: Please check my grammar, thanks.(about the kite runner)

Feebs11 — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 00:35:06 GMT

Emeraldisle wrote:

THANKS IN ADVANCE.

HELP ME WITH MY ASSIGNMENT.

Story: The Kite Runner

Author: Khaled Hosseini

Theme:

(1)        Sacrifice: Sheep are slaughtered as a sacrifice to Allah, to show devotion, but also as a form of atonement. Amir and Hassan are embodiments of the sacrificial sheep. Hassan is willing to sacrifice himself for having suffered in order to spare Amir. His blood is shed for Amirâs sake. âFor you, a thousand times over.â

(2)        Redemption: âthere is a way to be good again.â There exists a way for Amir to rid himself of guilt and atone for his sinful past. Eventually the roles are reversed and it is time for Amir to be the sheep and sacrifice for Hassan. When he is beaten by Assef, he is enduring the physically pain, but he is healed spiritually and ~~rids~~ rid of the burden of the troublesome past. He redeems himself finally.

(3)        The fragile relationship between father and son

(4)        Discrimination and class structure.

Characteristic:

Amir: moody, sentimental,

BaBa: larger-than-life, formidable,

Hassan: loyal, faithful

Assef: sopiopath ??sociopath

Questions:

What is irony?

The speakerâs meaning to b far [this makes no sense - rewrite] from the usual meaning of the words. A situation, for example, can be ironic if it contains some wry contrast or incongruity.

What is a republic?

A political system in which the supreme power lies in a body of citizens who can elect people to represent them. [A republic is a state in which supreme power is held by the people and their elected representatives, and which has an elected or nominated president rather than a monarch.]

What is the meaning of kinship?

Connection by blood, marriage, or adoption; family relationship

What is the metaphor in kite running?

The kite may be a metaphor in many aspects.For example, the relationship between BaBa and Amir (they live in the same house, but in different spheres of existence); Amir and Hassan (BaBa is a man torn between two halves, Amir and Hassan. Amir is the legitimate ~~halve~~ half, while Hassan is the illegitimate one. He can not love Hassan for the rules and customs the traditional society held. or the social status between Pashtun and Hazara, Sunni and Shiâa.This paragraph does not make sense - you start by saying the kite may be a metaphor but then do not say how it is a metaphor for the relationships given.

What does Hassan the other face mean?

Maybe it is just a figment of Amirâs imagination, or we can perceive it as a hidden character restrained in Hassan. As a servant, Hassan is not allowed to reveal his true self. All he has to do is to serve his masters well. He is born to act like this: a man with unwavering loyalty, obedience, and sacrifice himself if necessary. But at this moment, we can infer that he is aroused by some stimulus, Amirâs words hurt his self-esteem, and for a fraction of moment, Hassan reveals himself ~~that~~ as he has never done it before. In seconds, nothing happens and it is just him again.