Search results for 'tag:Paragraphs tag:Using English' matching tags 'Paragraphs' and 'Using English'

Re: Please check my presentation data

julielai — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 21:48:44 GMT

Hi,

To make your speech effective, you need to practise what you preach-use simple words and "construct effective sentences and paragraphs".

Highlighted some things for you to fix. I'm not going to pick on your grammar as much since this is a speech.

My name is Umair and Iâm goanna talk to you on the 5^th c of effective communication. It is clarity. This word is deriving from the English word âclearâ. So we can state the main purpose of clarity is the make you speech (clunky) more understandable by using simple words and by constructing effective sentences and paragraphs.

In accordance with upper definition (wordy) we say ~~easily~~ say that clarity has two main points.

Number one: choose precise, familiar and common words.

Number two: ~~is to~~ construct effectual sentences and paragraphs.

According to first point, our word selection should be very easy to understand and it should be consisting on very familiar and common words. (Simplify) Like if we use the word âdiversityâ, most of us may not understand what ~~does~~ it means but instead of it, if we use the word âsuppositionâ or âhypothesisâ it would be ~~more~~ easier to understand than that and everyone can make a guess about it that it would be giving the mean of âthinkingâ. (Does not make any sense) In the same sense, we also should not use Latin terms like e.g, circa and etc. Instead of that we should use some appropriate English synonyms ~~of it~~.

Although it is appropriate to use technical terms and business jargons in some professional situation, but avoid it when you communicate with a person who is not familiar with these terminologies. If these terms are necessary ~~to use~~, then you must define them briefly and clearly. If you donât you may embarrass and confuse the reader. ~~You may enforce to explain later.~~ So always remember the readerâs capability to understand things like if you are talking with an illiterate person who even cannot understand Urdu and you are using English words with him he shall think that even you know his mental ability and than what the hell of you are saying.(Unclear. And too long.) So we can say that understanding the audience helps writer to choose familiar words.

Now let us come to our second point, which is to construct effective sentences and paragraphs. It has several other points to remember.

First one is the length of the sentence and shorter sentences are ~~more~~ preferable to longer ones and the recommended length of an average sentence is 17 to 20 words because more words may divert readerâs attention and may lose its attraction. (This sentence has more than 20 words)

Second, is your sentence should be strict (wording) with the basic theme of your message and your all sentences should indicating the main idea.

The third point is coherence. In ~~the~~ coherent sentences the words are correctly arranged so that they ~~ideas~~ clearly express the intended meaning.

The forth and the last point is to concentrate and give ~~most of~~ your importance on the main idea in ~~the largest part of~~ your speech and in your written material.

Please check my presentation data

Umairshah — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 08:22:37 GMT

Hi everyone,

My presentation is on monday and I have prepared a meterial for that please help me to improve it.Thanks in advance.

Material is as following:

Hi,

My name is Umair and Iâm goanna talk to you on the 5^th c of effective communication. It is clarity. This word is deriving from the English word âclearâ. So we can state the main purpose of clarity is the make you speech more understandable by using simple words and by constructing effective sentences and paragraphs.

In accordance with upper definition we say easily say that clarity has two main points.

Number one: choosing precise, familiar and common words.

Number two: is to construct effectual sentences and paragraphs.

According to first point, our word selection should be very easy to understand and it should be consisting on very familiar and common words. Like if we use the word âdiversityâ, most of us may not understand what does it mean but instead of it, if we use the word âsuppositionâ or âhypothesisâ it would be more easier to understand than that and everyone can make a guess about it that it would be giving the mean of âthinkingâ. In the same sense, we also should not use Latin terms like e.g, circa and etc. Instead of that we should use some appropriate English synonyms of it.

Although it is appropriate to use technical terms and business jargons in some professional situation but avoid it when you communicate with a person who is not familiar with these terminologies. If these terms are necessary to use, then you must define them briefly and clearly. If you donât you may embarrass and confuse the reader. You may enforce to explain later. So always remember the readerâs capability to understand things like if you are talking with an illiterate person who even cannot understand Urdu and you are using English words with him he shall think that even you know his mental ability and than what the hell of you are saying. So we can say that understanding the audience helps writer to choose familiar words.

Now let us come to our second point, which is to construct effective sentences and paragraphs. It has several other points to remember.

First one is the length of the sentence and shorter sentences are more preferable than longer one and the recommended length of an average sentence is 17 to 20 words because more words may divert readerâs attention and may lose its attraction.

The second one is your sentence should be strict with the basic theme of your message and your all sentences should indicating the main idea.

The third point is coherence. In the coherent sentence the words are correctly arranged so that the ideas clearly express the intended meaning.

The forth and the last point is to concentrate and give most of your importance on main idea in the largest part of your speech and in your written material.

Refusal letter, please give some comments

Minhiub — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:33:11 GMT

Hello everyone,

I got an assignment on writing a refusal letter. I send it to my prof and then she send me the file back with her comments on it. I tried to fix it but I am not sure I did it correct. Could you guys please take a look and give me some suggestions?
Thank in advance
------------------------------------------------
Here is the letter with the prof's comments

RESPONDING TO MULTICULRAL LANGUAGUE ISSUES

We are please to receive your concern letter about language issues for multicultural guests. review class notesâ¦..readerâs concern is not how pleased the writer is. .. think about thisâ¦why would you be pleased to get a request that you are going to have to refuse? According to our research, the mission of the Office of International Services is to foster cross-cultural understanding and enable international students to accomplish their educational, social, and professional objectives at Indiana University. Therefore, one of your goal in this academic year to achieve that statement is to collaborate with other community units to develop, and implement services to enhance cross-cultural awareness and strengthen the provision of programs and services to international students, faculty, and staff. As a major retail organization, we totally agree with your idea and we are happy to help the internation students to incorporate with this community.this informationâafter it is revised for conciseness is good information. .it just isnât information that should be in the opening paragraph. Opening paragraph is two or three sentencesâonsubject neutral opening to get the reader to continue reading.

One of the reason that the international student come to the U.S to study is because they want to improve their English skills and also to learn more about the U.S culture. Therefore, to achieve that goal, one of the best ways is to deal with English as much as possible. Based on a science research, reading advertisements and in-store signages in English can help the foreigners expanding their skills effectively in such a short time. In addition, at Williamsâ Inc many multicultural team members who come from those countries that was listed in your letter will always be available to help customers when they have difficulties to understand the advertisements and signs. Without a doubt, customers will receive benefits from using English advertisements.

When word gives you a red or green underline, that means something is wrong grammatically. Always proofread those very carefully.

At Williamsâ Inc, customer satisfaction is our suceess. We are bringing the best to our customers not only by the quality products but also by improving their happiness and knowledge. And we believe that all other retailers in this coummunity will share this common thought. So we all share that using English advertisements will bring our customers closer to success in inproving their English skills.I like your idea. .. .but be sure the refusal is clear but positive.

We understand that your national meeting on October 24 is a great chance to share the good news that all major retailers in this community will try their best to support the multicutural guests. Therefore, please bring to the national meeting our promise that we still, and will always , try to make our multicultural customers happy when shopping at our stores. And using English advertisements is one in many good ways to do that.

We deeply appreciate that you took the time to bring your efforts to our attention. We look forward to receiving more thoughful suggestions and ideas from you in the near future.

Refusal letter

Anonymous — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:14:11 GMT

Hello everyone,

I got an assignment on writing a refusal letter. I did it and send to my professor. She sent me the file back with her general feed back on it. I tried to fix all her comments but I am not sure that I did it right. Could you please check it for me?
Thanks in advance
---------------------------------------------------------------
Here is the letter with her comments on it.

RESPONDING TO MULTICULRAL LANGUAGUE ISSUES

When word gives you a red or green underline, that means something is wrong grammatically. Always proofread those very carefully.

We deeply appreciate that you took the time to bring your efforts to our attention. We look forward to receiving more thoughful suggestions and ideas from you in the near future.

Re: INTRODUCE YOURSELF!!

Daddy — Fri, 02 Sep 2005 09:15:20 GMT

Hello.

Seems your advice enlightened many people here and worked well.

as for my part, i introduce myself somewhere below as you advise and this time id like to ask you something about the chatting in the forum. If you dont see my asking a nuisance, please show some response to me cause im asking you because you look very

familiar with this site and its running .

Right below your thread, there's a thread with a chatting program. Is that program in use now? I tried several times but i couldnt see anyone but me.

if that program really doesnt work, where do I find some real time chatting room, or can't I ??

i write some paragraphs and post them . and its a kinda english exercise and i think it help me in learning english.

but I also feel that in chatting in real time basis using english would help me much more.

so if you have the time to answer my question, be kind enough to tell me.

thanks. bye

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL ESSAYISTS AND OTHER WRITERS: READ THIS BEFORE YOU

Mister Micawber — Mon, 23 May 2005 13:40:36 GMT

1. We are here to help you learn how to write prose in the English language; we are not an essay-writing service. Do not simply ask us to write your essay or story for you, or to give you a list of ideas or thesis statements. We will not do this.

2. Before you post, search the internet for sites such as these-- HOW TO WRITE or COMPOSITION FOR NON-NATIVE SPEAKERS-- and this one-- ESSAY EXAMPLES. You may need no further help from us!

3. If you still need help, write a first (draft) copy of your paper and post it in this forum; then we will offer you advice on how to improve it. If you are not ready to write yet, we will look at your OUTLINE or your THESIS STATEMENT. Just do the best you can at first; make an effort to use the best or most appropriate English you know. Post your effort in simple document format; do not paste from a software document or other HTML-coded documents.

4. A good effort is always respected here, but lack of effort will dampen our enthusiasm for assisting you. Proofread carefully before you post-- check spelling, capitalization and punctuation to the best of your ability. We will help you through several drafts of your paper, if you continue to post improved revisions.

5. DO NOT double post (i.e. do not offer the same writing in two different forums at English Forums).

6. DO NOT ask for a private emailed answer. We want all our visitors to benefit from our writing clinics.

7. DO NOT include information which you do not wish millions of visitors from the World Wide Web to read. Substitute fictional names, addresses and other information where necessary.

8. DO be patient-- your advisors are unpaid here. We are busy with our regular jobs, but we help as frequently as we can; also, we live all around the world, so may be sleeping when you are awake. We are usually very prompt in replying, but do not post a request regarding a paper that you suddenly need NOW.

One unfortunate fact is that shorter papers get better attention than longer ones. We have a limited amount of time that we can dedicate to any individual, and your advisor may have to focus on only a paragraph or portion of your submission, and expect you to extend that advice yourself to the rest of your writing. VERY long papers tend to be avoided with a sigh of resignation. Do not take this personally, it is just the ugly reality of time constraints.

9. DO remember to be polite. 'Please' and 'thank you' are magic words that will gain you help and friends. If you disagree strongly with any advice, it is often better to quietly make your own choices about accepting it rather than engaging in heated discussion.

10. DO feel free to ask us anything about using English, and enjoy your visit with us. We enjoy having you here.

11. For some advice from a different angle, here is a link to a useful Essay-writing Tutorial by one of our Russian members-- please see Post:134262.

Re: Motivation letter for Utrecht University (Holland)

nona the brit — Fri, 08 Oct 2004 12:47:11 GMT

Hi,
Phew, there is a lot to get hold of here!

I think that mountainhiker's suggested structure will work very well for this letter and you have worked hard to make improvements to your original. I think you still need to plan your letter a little more clearly as at the moment it is all a bit random and I think you have too much irrelevant information

My suggestions are:

paragraph one: Who you are, what you want to do, why you want to do it.

'I am a Vietnamese citizen living in Holland and I would like to apply for the Bachelor of Liberal of Art 's Degree program in Social Science department at University College Utrecht. I am interested in this programme as deeper knowledge of social, cultural, political and economic processes will certainly help with my future career. I want to gain a solid background in social science.'

paragraph two: Expand on who you are

'I graduated in English Language and Culture in July 2000 from the University of Vietnam. My degree focuses on English language, English literature, English and American culture. I then worked for Song Huong Magazine, writing their Foreign Literature page for three years. I also taught English to children in Vietnam during the summers.

Paragrah three: expand on what you want to do and why you want to do it.

'Last year, I started writing for Nguoi Lao Dong Newspaper, a major Vietnamese newspaper. Through my daily writing, I came to recognize that my knowledge of economic, politics and culture are somewhat limited, which is why I would like to study these further. I would like to continue working in research or journalism after this course, and think it would be a great advantage to stay in Europe.'

Paragraph four: summary and thank them for their interest.

End of letter

You have included all the following information but I do not think it is relevant to your application. They know the advantages to studying social sciences. It sounds as though you are the university trying to sell the course to a student.

Social Science is not only interested to study to know generally but It also necessary in career. You sometimes will have international meetings If you did not have any experience of social science or in wrong understanding, what will be happened in your performance in front of your partners? .â No education is complete without experienceâ â no experience how can we doâ that is true. So I am, before doing my further goals.
from classic to modern to analyze in a deep ambition before creating the best ways to complete your jobs how to suit with changing of societies of globalization.

The section on use of English language could be worked into your letter if you wish, but I do not think you need anywhere as much language. Again, you are not writing this letter to sell to them the advantages of using English. In any case, they might think that if it is so important to you to study in English, why aren't you applying to an English university? If you really want to mention it, (and I assume that the course will be taught in English?) you could put something in about your standard of English making you suitable for studying at this level in English.

I hope you find this helpful,

nona

In addition, studying and working on completely international environments, using a second language like a native language of English in each different field of social science is very important. Because we will have to use English language to research in professional books of the world and writing essays or reports for big conferences as well as presentations. At last but not least, according a large intellection of Social Science and a professional ability of language, I will have many advantages to my special goals in opportunities of career.