Search results for 'tag:Present tenses tag:Paragraphs' matching tags 'Present tenses' and 'Paragraphs'

Help editing this paragraph.

xpistonsx — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 01:01:23 GMT

This paragraph is part of a compare/contrast essay. I am comparing one character from Animal Farm and one from either Julius Caesar or Lord of the Flies. The two I chose are Napoleon and Jack. Some guidelines I have to follow are: Only a max of 2 "to be" verbs per paragraph and use present tense. I don't think my second example (about the limitations) is the best, so if you can come up with a better one please suggest it. Also, I need some help restating my thesis for my conclusion paragraph. Any help would be appreciated. Here is my contrast paragraph:

Thesis: Both William Goldingâs Lord of the Flies and George Orwellâs Animal Farm, illustrate that people are hungry for power.

Napoleon, a pig, and Jack, a human, differ in their hunger for power. One example is how they use their power to get their respective societies to do what they dreamed about. Napoleon uses his power to keep the animals in check and to take care of the farm. Napoleon forces the animals to work most of the week to build the windmill and to harvest the land for food. He also uses it to direct the animalsâ attention from the growing shortages and inadequacies on the farm. Jack, on the other hand, uses his power to turn his group of boys into blood-thirsty savages. He turns the groupâs focus to killing pigs and dancing around campfires. Both charactersâ actions prove to be costly and lead to negative effects. Second, different limitations are another example of how the characters could use their powers. Napoleon is looked up to as a leader, which practically gives him the power to mostly do whatever he wants because the animals think he is always right. But he still must follow the commandments which he secretly changes, though, through Squealer to give him more power. In contrast, Ralph appoints Jack a leader position at first as head of the hunters. His power is limited by Ralph because most of the society will listen to him. Since Jack wants more power, he makes the decision to leave Ralphâs group and form his own. This gives him more freedom and ultimately unlimited power. The limitation each character has on their powers affects their decisions and ultimately the end result of their societies. Both characters fail to utilize their powers for the good of the societies and cause destruction and mayhem.

Re: âThere is always a toastâ or âthere was always a toastâ?

Clive — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:11:51 GMT

Hi,

There is a passage in my English textbook. In this passage there are two sentences with the simple present tense, in which I think the simple past tense should be used, and they are the following:

1. âthere is always a toastâ

2. âMany parties, social and political discussions and family gatherings take place hereâ

In order to show the context of the two sentences, the whole passage has been copied below with the two sentences in question italicized (the two sentences are also in bold type together with the title of the passage)

A Russian Experience

It was almost midnight, yet the streets were bathed in a soft, shimmering light. The sun had just gone down and twilight would soon give way to night. We were strolling along the Nevsky Prospekt, a wide avenue stretching four kilometres and filled with people, music and street entertainers. This was St Petersburg in August and it seemed the city was out to celebrate the long summer nights. We had just left the home of newly found Russian friends and after a wonderful traditional dinner decided to have some exercise before going to bed.

ãIt has always been my dream to visit St Petersburg. Absorbed by Russian history since childhood, I wanted to see it all for myself. Now, thanks to Perestroika, tourists are welcomed into Russia and St Petersburg with its rich, cultural history is a popular choice.

ãWe flew in from Stockholm and from the air immediately noticed a well-planned city with apartment blocks built in semi-circles with central courtyards and gardens. Not only did this seem practical, but the idea behind the design was to shelter residents from the fierce winter winds. The city was built by European architects in the 18th and 19th centuries and remains one of Europe's most beautiful cities. Straddling the wide River Neva, the city is made up of almost 50 islands connected by some 310 bridges. No wonder the sight of elegant buildings along the canals reminded me of Paris, Amsterdam and Venice.

ãI hadn't met many Russian people but I had an intense love for their country and traditions and was passionate about art and literature. Russian writers such as Pushkin, Tolstoy, and Dostoevsky reach the very soul of ordinary Russians, and this I find intriguing. It was no different when I finally found myself in Russia. People were openly friendly and eager to discuss any aspect of their lives in their beloved Motherland. No matter how bad the economy, somehow these people have the ability to see the positive aspects of their lives, whatever their circumstances. We met an attractive woman from Moscow, and we fast became friends and it was she who invited us into the home of some dear friends of hers.

ãThe apartment block was in an elegant area of St Petersburg and was probably a palace in the past but now converted into apartments of four floors. The entrance through a narrow hallway was dark and dull and there was an old fashioned lift on the ground floor with steel folding gates that clanged shut, after which the lift moved very slowly upwards. It was quicker to walk up the staircase.

ãOur host, Yuri Petrochenkov, himself an artist, warmly greeted us at the door. He was tall with gray hair pulled into a tail. His open, friendly manner and twinkling eyes showed a sense of humor and his English with a thick accent made him an entertaining host. Nelly, his wife, spoke little English but understood a great deal more.
ãWe were ushered into their main room, which served as a living-room, dining room and TV area. There was an air of intimacy in the room, as though it was the core part of this family. Many parties, social and political discussions and family gatherings take place here.They did, and they still do. The present tense suggests that this visit was not long ago, and that the same custom of toasts exists 'today', ie at the time of writing. We were honored to be there and I felt ashamed that I had absolutely no Russian language to attempt to communicate in. Why is it that people of the English-speaking world take for granted that the rest of the world should speak English? I had always meant to learn Russian and had enrolled for courses in the past but they never started because of lack of numbers.

ãOur meal was a feast in itself. We weren't offered wine, just vodka in little shot glasses and before drinking there is always a toast. Here, it seems to be a similar idea to the above, but I'd prefer the simple past here myself. Another interpretation is that the writer is trying to make the reader feel that he is present at the meal, but in that case I'd use present tense for the whole sentence, and maybe even the whole paragraph or the whole narrative. Some nine vodkas later, Yuri was in fine form and had found a drinking partner in my husband!

ãWandering along the river, we agreed that not only had we found new friends, but we had just spent probably the most enjoyable experience of our trip to Russia. This is what travel is all about - to get to the heart and soul of the people and to try to understand and experience a little of what makes others tick

Best wishes, Clive

Re: short story

ferpectedit — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 02:22:37 GMT

I work for an online editing and proofreading service. See my profile for more info. I won't do your whole story here, but I will show you how I would revise the first paragraph.

The dead, the deceased, the defunct, the departed: I have never been good with death. I don't like when people move away, seeming to not like me or want to be my friend. I don't like when they get into fights with me. I don't like watching poverty on TV or seeing very elderly people. I always try to avoid what I don't like. I don't go to funerals. I close my eyes when commercials for charities that help poverty-stricken children come on. Like a person who is allergic to dogs I avoid the cause of the problem.

I like your first line a lot but shortened it to make it more rhythmic and less repetitive. I also changed many of the verbs to the present tense, since much of the rest of the paragraph is in the present tense and all of the narrative occurs at the same time. I tried to make corrections and clarifications without altering your style too much. Your narrator has a distinct point of view I didn't want to ruin. Good luck!

Help editing this paragraph.

Anonymous — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 03:09:32 GMT

Thesis: Both William Goldingâs Lord of the Flies and George Orwellâs Animal Farm, illustrate that people are hungry for power.

Body Paragraph 1

Napoleon, a pig, and Jack, a human, share many similarities in their hunger for power. First, their greed and selfishness brings about the destruction of the societies. Napoleon, who becomes the leader of the farm when the animals overthrow Mr. Jones and when he chases out Snowball, keeps extra food and overworks the animals. Through Napoleonâs decisions many animals die and his leadership role causes more problems. Jack, a power-hunger character, leads the boys to savagery on the island. When Jack kills a pig, he develops a lust for blood. He becomes overcome by greed for power and wants everyone to follow him and do nothing but hunt. This eventually leads to two boys dying and many more problems. The two charactersâ hunger for power cause nothing but trouble for their respective societies and the death of individuals. Second, both characters break rules that were set forth to maintain order in their respective societies. At first, Napoleon creates seven commandments which all the animals must live by. But later on he begins to break most, if not all, of the commandments. For example, Napoleonâs mind is set on obtaining as much power as possible and eliminating oppositions that he kills any animal that has been in connection with Snowball after his expulsion. This act breaks the commandment of animals not killing other animals. Similarly, Jack disobeys many of the rules set forth by Ralph that help to keep order on the island. Jack deserts the democratic way of life and forms his own group and rules. By breaking the rules, these two characters illustrate their disobedience to a system meant to keep order. As shown through both of these characters, people who want power will take any means necessary to achieve that goal.

Simple Present Tense and Past Tense

guzhao67 — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 02:46:18 GMT

hi: I have a question about English tense. could you explain the use of tense in the following paragraph? (bold italic added)
"In the 16th c. there are some traces of a perception that the word might have an extended application to other languages. But it was not before the 17 th c. that it became so completely a generic term that there was any need to speak explicitly of 'Latin grammar'."
My question is: why does the first sentence use "are" while the others use Simple Past Tense when they both refer to past event? thank you!

Re: grammar check!

AlpheccaStars — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:03:57 GMT

Ellisa:

This is a very long passage, and your other post seems to be even longer.

The editor at this web site makes it difficult to make corrections to long passages. Also, many teachers do not want to devote a long time working on a single post. If you post only one paragraph at a time, then different teachers can work on them and you will get your corrections faster.

Ellisa

Hello teachers!
I'm summarising a book which is about teaching methods.
I guess there are millions of errors.
Please ~~check those to right one~~ suggest corrections to my sentences.!
Thanks in advance!

13. Teaching grammar

There are two main ways to teach~~ing~~ grammar.(or you can say "ways of teaching grammar". The word "teaching" is a gerund, and must be used as a noun. In this example, it is object of the preposition "of")
One way is ~~both~~ planning grammar teaching in advance and relying on the coursebooks which can help us teach grammar. The other way is teaching grammar as a result of other work. In other words, it is ~~has~~ done as a peripheral activity. In this chapter, we will look at the various different ways to teach grammar. We will look at the range of activities which satisfy not merely efficiency but also ~~appropriacy~~ (not a word; you can use the adjective forms - a range of activities which are efficient as well as appropriate). . Lastly, we will discuss grammar books and their usages.

(You need to be consistent in using imperative versus declarative sentences)

A. Introducing grammar

The following ~~1 to 4~~ examples (, numbered 1 to 4,) are activities which represent a range of possibilities for introducing new grammar.

Ex1) It's making sentences using the present simple in the third singular. First, the teacher holds up a number of flashcards which are about a specific job. Then (? subject - the students )make sentences in ~~contained~~ present simple tense for ~~the~~ each pictures. It consists (or The exercise consists of) of three affirmative and three negative sentences. Then (? subject - the teacher )makes the students guess what kind of job it is. Once students are confident in ~~with~~ these sentences, the teacher asks them to think of one profession and make 6 sentences. Now, they can do activities guessing what profession is being described.

Ex2) It's using texts which contained (present tense) what the students are being taught (past simple irregular verbs). While the students read the text, they come across blanks that they must fill in with the past tense form of certain verbs. Then, (? subject - the teacher )makes them write these past tense verb forms down in the blanks and also write them phonetically using ~~which are shown~~ ~~their~~ phonemic symbols.

Ex3) This is aimed to show the differences between ~~reporting~~ direct speech and reporting things that were said in the past. The teacher draws ~~Draw~~ two people on the board. One, whose name is Jack, is holding a phone and smiling ~~whose name is Jack~~. The other is just standing. The teacher gives the ~~Give~~ students the information that Jack is talking to a girl who he met in the school canteen. Then, the teacher asks the students what Jack tells his friend while taking on the phone. The answers might be in the present form such as ' She says I'm really nice'. In this process, the teacher makes sure that the students understand how 'you' changes to 'I'. The teacher now tells the students that Jack is back home and he was spurned by the girl. He is telling to his mother that 'She said I was really nice' which is past form. The teacher can write both past and present forms on the board to help students.

Ex4) Here, the language which the students are ~~were~~ going to study is ~~was~~ embedded in the texts which they read. The teacher makes the students read the story first. After confirming that they ~~are~~ fully understanood the story by asking comprehension questions, the teacher asks them to make bad or insensible statements using the story. Then, the ~~get~~ students to come up to the board and write the sentences. ~~so that T~~he sentences have to use the modal auxillary "should," such as ~~ncluding~~ 'Should have p.p.' or' Shouldn't have p.p'.(especially here.)

And, and, and - more problems:[ Help, asap!

Dysphoria_ — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:09:36 GMT

Now that I'm finished the initial writing of my paper, I'm picking at the mechanic's of it.
The following sentence is what I'm stuck on, maybe its just the wording, or is it grammtically incorrect?

During the poem there are examples of the concept of a hero: loyalty, devotion, fortitude, the wandering hero, or a figure that is larger than life, the Greek ideal of a strong mind and body.

The listing seems off.
I'm not sure if I needed a : or not,
and I feel the need to insert an and before "the Greek ideal of a strong mind and body."
But is that to many ands?

Also, "...the wandering hero...", my entire paper has to be in present tense.
Is this part not present tense?

Any suggestions/help would be amazinggg.

Thank you!

Re: Cosmetic Surgery

AlpheccaStars — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:29:01 GMT

Dear anon:

You have a problem with structuring sentences with a clear subject and verb. To fix this problem, try to write a lot of very simple sentences first. (one subject - one verb)

Once you have the ideas clearly stated in simple sentences, you can combine them into more complex sentences. Be careful to keep the correct structure when you combine them. Avoid run-on sentences. In particular, the fourth paragraph is one very long sentence that is very hard to read. Break this up into several sentences, each with a single point.

Another problem I see is that your verbs frequently do not agree with their subjects, especially in 3rd person singular. Remember that the present tense verb has the ending -s in third person singular.

I did not make all the corrections, but just gave some suggestions as a start.

Anonymous
~~The~~ Cosmetic surgery nowadays ( move this word to the beginning of the sentence) is increasing (use the progressive tense) ~~ncreases~~ a lot in each country around the world. ~~in generally when?~~ (you have already answered when -with 'nowadays') And how? (Why?) These are good questions to answer. Letâs try to find the right reason to explain those questions.
(This paragraph does not answer WHEN plastic surgery is increasing, but WHY: more older women are electing to have it - they see one day that their former beauty is gone.)

To begin with, Iâll try to answer the question WHEN? Focusing on women ~~I guess~~ (informal) when they look at themselves in at the mirror and see how the time past looks (I don't understand how time past can look old and ugly; aren't you talking about the women looking old?) old, fat, and ugly; they start to thinking about in something to solve this big inconvenience and HOW? With a plastic surgery, cosmetic surgery, liposuction and all those stuff (very informal) , to be more skinny and look less old and change some parts of their faces or body that they donât like. (this sentence needs to be rewritten, it does not have proper subject-verb structure. Here is an example: Liposuction can reduce their fat, and make them look slimmer; cosmetic surgery can reshape the nose and improve their appearance, and plastic surgery can tighten sagging skin that causes unsightly bags and wrinkles.)

Another major reason are (reason is singular, and needs a singular verb) that ~~what~~ the society demand (society is singular, and needs a singular verb) for be a woman to be successful ~~woman~~ and e.g. to get a good job in the interview the woman who always win the vacancy are the beautiful and also to get promoted.(part after e.g. needs to be rewritten, it does not have proper subject-verb structure) To add more the advertizements in ~~publicity are~~ the magazines, TV, ~~and~~ newspapers and even posters on the streets shows women with good bodies, and beautiful faces. ~~âs~~ That~~âs to obligate~~ pressures the ordinary woman to try surgery solutions to be more acceptable.

Opponents of this view (you have not stated a view yet - what is the view?) say that the surgery is a miracle of the science because (?you need a subject for the verb "help") help increase their self-esteem and to solve some matters what the nature doesnât give them with some sessions of surgery and considerable money you (you is 2nd person, it does not match the earlier part of the sentence that is in 3rd person) would get the body or face of your dreams.

Taking everything into account, ~~I guess~~ cosmetic surgery help some women and hurt others but in generally is an option for people who disagree with their physical aspect, if you (you is 2nd person, it does not match the earlier part of the sentence that is in 3rd person) have the money and accept the risk ( you have not mentioned risk in your essay) is your choice.

Re: I rewrote my essay please help me to correct grammar mistakes!

Clive — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:47:25 GMT

Aristotle's Ethics

Hi,
Essays should not include a table of contents.

I started off 'bolding' my edits, but then stopped doing that, so just read carefully please.

I've just looked at the introduction, whch took me a while.

Content

1. The significance of ethics for Aristotle.

2. The student against teacher.

3. Conclusion

~~Among~~ the merits of Aristotle's work include the definition and classification of sciences, and the various kinds of knowledge. He divided ~~the~~ science of into three broad categories: theoretical (speculation), practical (performance) and creative (creativity). The first category included philosophy, mathematics and physics, ~~but~~ the second ethics and politics, and the third -arts, crafts and the application of science. Ancient science was not focused on harnessing the forces of nature, that is, using knowledge for practical purposes, but on the general knowledge of the world order of things in order to develop an understanding of public relations at the education of citizens and regulate their relationships and behavior to achieve an ethical ideal. <<<< This sentence is long and confusing. can you makje it into shorter ones? The second category explores <<< You need to decide if you want to use past tense or present tense throughout the essay ~~the~~ ethical and political problems, and only the third category deals with arts, crafts and applied sciences. The word "practice" is used with Aristotle in a broad sense, not narrowly - as an activity for material gain.

You seem to have described these 3 categories twice.

Do you feel that this paragraph is sufficiently 'introductory'?

I read this paragraph and still don't really know what you think the significance of his Ethics was/is. eg Did he do something that no-one had done before? Did he profoundly affect the thinkers who came after him?

You have managed to write the paragraph without once mentioning the word 'ethics'. Don't you think you should?

Clive

a general one about tenses

ecopsy — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 03:23:19 GMT

Dear,sir
Following are two short passages, and the question lies in them.
Then the unexpected happened. I had no thought in
reaching the natural heights that a human structure
would be present. Normally, I would have avoided any
such structure as I directed my steps toward the natural view. In retrospect it makes sense that a service building be present at the trail end. It may have had facilities for visitors and played an interpretive role. But the building was not present when I arrived.
From An Experience of Aesthetics by Robert Ginsberg

I go to visit my great-aunts. A few of them think now
that I am my cousin, or their daughter who died young. We recall an anecdote about a relative last seen in 1948, and they ask if I still like living in New York City. I have lived in Los Angeles for three years, but I say that I do. The baby is offered a horehound drop, and I am slipped a dollar bill "to buy a treat." Questions trail off, answers are abandoned, the baby plays with the dust motes in a shaft of afternoon sun.
From On Going Home by Joan Didion

When describing an event in the past, when should the present tense be used, instead of the past tense, and how to switch the two tenses in the same paragraph smoothly so as not to make it inconsistent.
Thanks in advance.

Search results for 'tag:Present tenses tag:Paragraphs' matching tags 'Present tenses' and 'Paragraphs'

Help editing this paragraph.

Re: âThere is always a toastâ or âthere was always a toastâ?

Re: short story

Help editing this paragraph.

Simple Present Tense and Past Tense

Re: grammar check!

And, and, and - more problems:[ Help, asap!

Re: Cosmetic Surgery

Re: I rewrote my essay please help me to correct grammar mistakes!

a general one about tenses

Re: âThere is always a toastâ or âthere was always a toastâ?