Search results for 'tag:Proofreading tag:Paragraphs' matching tags 'Proofreading' and 'Paragraphs'

paragraph proofreading

Ofrienfdragon — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:29:09 GMT

deleted

Reason: Proofreading has been done and I don't want to waste your time.

Thank you all.

Poem Analysis

Jeremy1234 — Mon, 12 May 2008 11:36:50 GMT

Hey guys, i neeed help for proof reading my little assesment, at the top is the poem and the two paragrpahs below is the analysis. ill be glad to some comments~ Thank You~ Everyone <3 you all

1st paragraph: Identify important elements of the poem such as subject,form structure and style

2nd paragraph: Analyze the two or three most important literary features/poetic devices and explain its effect

A RED, RED ROSE

Robert Burns

O my Luve is like a red, red rose

Thatâs newly sprung in June;

O my Luve is like the melody

Thatâs sweetly played in tune.

So fair art thou, my bonnie lass,

So deep in luve am I;

And I will luve thee still, my dear,

Till aâ the seas gang dry.

Till aâ the seas gang dry, my dear,

And the rocks melt wiâ the sun;

I will love thee still, my dear,

While the sands oâ life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only luve!

And fare thee weel awhile!

And I will come again, my luve,

Though it were ten thousand mile.

A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns is a unique free verse poem. The author used the poem to express his yearn towards a woman. There were only two people in this poem, the author himself and the woman heâs in love with. Thereâs no truth in the story, however he used modified scenes comparing to his situation, at line eight, nine and ten.âTill aâ the seas gang dry. Till aâ the seas gang dry, my dear, and the rocks melt wiâ the sun.â There were no events happening in the story, just a man expressing his feeling when heâs in love. The main object was a rose, you can know it by the title of the poem, and the text where the author was comparing her love one to rose. The author seemed to be addicted to love, or strongly affected by it, and you can know it by the tone of the poem.

There are many literary features in the poem, perhaps one of the most symbolic ones are simile and hyperbole. âO my Luve is like a red, red roseâ This is a simile used in the first verse of the poem, it is effective because he compared the womanâs beauty to a rose. Another simile is used âO my Luve is like the melody, thatâs sweetly played in tune.â the author is comparing her love to a melody, a melody usually makes people joyful, so his love is making him joyful whenever she is beside him. Hyperbole can be found at the last sentence âAnd I will come again, my luve,

Though it were ten thousand mile.â Ten thousand miles is really hard to travel, but this is effective because it shows how much the author misses and loves her.

I HEAR AMERICA SINGING

Walt Whitman

I hear America singing, the varied carols I hear,

Those of mechanics, each one singing his as it should be blithe and strong,

The carpenter singing his as he measures his plank or beam,

The mason singing his as he makes ready for work, or leaves off work,

The boatman singing what belongs to him in his boat, the deckhand singing on the steamboat deck,

The shoemaker singing as he sits on his bench, the hatter singing as he stands,

The wood-cutterâs song, the ploughboyâs on his way in the morning, or at noon intermission or at sundown,

The delicious singing of the mother, or of the young wife at work, or of the girl sewing or washing,

Each singing what belongs to him or her and to none else,

The day what belongs to the dayâat night the party of young fellows, robust, friendly,

Singing with open mouths their strong melodious songs.

I hear from America Singing by Walt Whitman is a free verse poem. The author shows the life of the labor workers. The workers in America were all working and singing together to achieve their common goal. In my opinion this poem has a deeper meaning to it, everyday on news itâs all violence, stocks, and finance. Whitman was trying to alert how people was distracted, and lost their original pure personality. As you can see the events happening in the story, each type of worker were singing their own song, by looking at the last line, âsinging with open mouths their strong melodious songs.âThe poem singing sons mean they were cheerful, and contented in life.

There are no literary terms used in this poem, but this song will be more effective without literary devices. Whitman hopes this poem to be pure and original, so he didnât adding any literary devices. Even though this poem is not written with any poetic devices, itâs still beautiful written.

Can anyone proofread and make comments on this introductory paragraph?

Typesylvester — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 21:41:58 GMT

Essay topic: Identify three crucial elements in works of non-fiction and justify your choices with evidence.

Numerous amounts of literary works have been created since stories began to be written down. Though the number of literary works is endless, the type of writing is either divided into fiction or non-fiction. Fictional stories are invented by the author to often exaggerate an event or create an event that would be impossible in the real world. Consequently, contemporary young readers tend to enjoy fiction over non-fiction due to the fact that fiction generally does not offer so much factual information for the reader to remember. Nonetheless, non-fiction literary works are still read among avid readers, especially older readers, who enjoy reading about historical and realistic circumstances. Unlike fictional writing, non-fiction provides readers with a storyline and also teaches readers about a historical event, place, or person. Furthermore, non-fiction works are less bias since multiple sources are often used throughout the text to prove the existence of the story. The crucial elements that make works of non-fiction unique from fictional texts are the facts and truths used, combined with the objectivity and narrative style that the author imposes in telling the story.

Make comments after proofreading thanks.

Re: proofreading#20

Feebs11 — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 21:40:05 GMT

He could not get rid of her off his mind > He could not get her off his mind expresses this more fluently

why Jane feels so repulsive to    > repulsed by

wandering nowhere > wandering all over the place   or    went nowhere

His mother thought > His mother thinks   [the rest of this paragraph is in the present, so this sentence should be too]

At last birthday party he went,> At the last birthday party he went to,

getting insane > going or becoming insane

he gave himself some imagination about them > imagining what they did

Can't quite see what you mean in the last sentence

Re: proofreading#19

BW2/3 — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 09:52:54 GMT

From the bottom of my heart, I'm grateful for your help. Would you help me to fix the paragraph below?

After I read 'Catcher in the Rye', I asked myself what was it. Then I had to find out what Holden meant 'catcher in the rye'. Even though I found it somewhere, I still didn't understand how it related to the book. When I read this book, it was very easy for me to read. Usually, When I read a book, I need a dictionary. However this time I don't need it.What was good about the book for me was as if I had been going through some of the situations that Holden went through.

Re: Evaluative/Review Essay-Please help!

Castellano — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 00:46:23 GMT

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is a (truly is a hollow adjective here) superb reality show that first aired on December 3, 2003. Each 60 minute episode features a team of designers, contractors and several hundred workers who must race against time: (you could subsititute the colon with a semicolon or a hyphen if you want) they only have a week to rebuild a house, a task that would normally take 4 months to do. Each episode begins with host Ty Pennington's famous "Good morning!" wake-up call, when he, along with the other designers surprise the unsuspecting family that their home would be redesigned. The families then get to go on a seven day vacation until the renovation has completed. When the family returns from their vacation in a tinted limo, they see a bus blocking their view of their new home. Now, Ty and the family tell the bus driver to âmove that bus!" so the family can be amazed at the renovation. The show ends when Ty gives the keys to this lucky family.

(Start a new paragraph here because you are talking about something new.) Extreme Makeover: Home Edition a winner of two Emmy Awards as Best Reality Program (non-competitive), is entering its 4th season on ABC and is watched by millions. In its second season, it was one of the ten most popular shows on American television but it has become less popular now. The show is a by-product of Extreme Makeover; provides medical operations, weight loss programs and other beauty help to people who want to look better. Both programs are produced by Endemol USA, a division of Endemol Holding. (I am confused by the bold sentenecs. Are you trying to say that the Home Edition of Extreme Makeover also provides medical operations, weight loss programs, etc... ?)

The show has helped a rainbow of families, those who have financial problems, and those who have lost loved ones. (Could you possibly say from what these people have unfortunately died?) Evidently, families benefit enormously from this show. They have a new lease on life and are given that second chance that many of us are not fortunate enough to receive. (I don't think this is what you mean, perhaps you should write that their homes are now much more elegant, etc...) But are all problems solved after receiving such a gift? What would studies show post-Extreme Makeover: Home Edition? Are the creators of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition applying the golden rule or are they endorsing tax evasion?

Notes:

- Alert: you are introducing ideas and thoughts in your last paragraph. The last paragraph must merely restate your thesis and arguments, it must not introduce anything new, at all! You have some excellent arguments against the show, but you need to put the arguments in the beginning of your critical essay, not at the end. This I won't do for you, try it yourself!

- Your essay is quite informative; I wouldn't consider it technical. If you want your essay to flow more smoothly, proofread the sentences yourself and change accordingly. Make sure you write good sentences, which should reiterate information and should introduce new information to the reader. Further, don't introduce things too quickly or too abruptly, or you will wind up with choppy sentences.

Remember to come back if you need more proofreading and help! Very good start!

Re: proofreading#2

Castellano — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 22:39:22 GMT

Ever since its birth, this dog has been with Larry. Now, the dog was malodorous, old, crippled and blind, but Larry was always with it. (The adj. stinky is too colloquial to be employed in written English.) Larry's roommate, John, wanted to get rid of the dog because he was bothered by the smell. Even though the dog left the room, the smell would still remain in the room. One day, they sat opposite each other at the table, playing cards. John said that his friend's dog herded a lot of pups and that he wanted to get some of them; but Larry paid no attention about what he said.

-----

Couple of things:

- You need to connect your sentences. A good solid sentence will always remind the reader of something and introduce the reader TO something. Connect your sentences with commas, semicolons, hyphens, etc... Use adverbs too, like but, also, because, etc...

- Use spell check; it will pick up or flag spelling and grammatical errors.

Now, try to edit your second paragraph. If you still think you need help, write back!

-----

A bunk house stood somewhere in the plain. There was about eight beds in it. All labor men who worked in the barley farm lived there. The boss's daughter-in-law lived a miled away. People in the bunk house talked about her. She was a tramp who gave the eye to every one she saw.

Re: Please help me with proofreading this essay

julielai — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 05:02:39 GMT

Just the first two paragraphs:

In Indian culture marriage is a process that is decided on by the parents. The parents look for an individual that has a good reputation, well educated (parallel), amount of money and many other factors. The children believe the parents are wiser and would make a better decision choosing their partner for them, rather then them doing it themselves. The way marriage is in my family is similar to the Indians except, the parents arenât the ones who choose.

In Indian culture the marriage partner is chosen based solely on what the parents think. The child meets the person once and they talk for some time. This is after the person has already been chosen to be their marriage partner. They are forced into living with this person for their entire life most likely after one conversation. This differs greatly in my family. In my family the person getting married usually dated (tense) the person they are planning on marrying for a while (marrying for a while or planning for a while). They (All the they's are confusing) would have to be accepted by the family and comfortable with everyone (unclear? Who? what?). The parents of both the people planning on getting married would have to have a good relationship, otherwise the marriage isnât happening.

Re: wealth or health

Mister Micawber — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 07:00:20 GMT

It still needs work-- or at least, proofreading. I have emboldened problem areas below:

Health is more important than wealth. Health is the necessary condition while wealth is the sufficient condition. We need both of them , in order to live happily . Bus as you can will see below, the necessary condition is always more important.

According to the first paragraph , health is the necessary condition. That mean you canât get what you want unless you are healthy . This is the most important factor.

Wealth is just a sufficient condition , as there are many way to be successful not only being wealthy . You can become a famous singer or a well-known artist of professor without having a lot of money . All you need is wealth . On the other hand we canât buy health with money. Today, there are still some diseases which have no cure . wealth doesnât always make life more healthy and happily . If you are a billionaire, you always fell unsafe . Afraid of being killed of kidnapped for your fortune will speedily harm their health and shorten their longevity. Further more , without being fit , how can you enjoy your wealth . If a man has wealth , he can have every thing . As an old saying : âWhere there is health , there is life â Thatâs why health is more important than wealth.

The statistics are clear that people are healthy live longer add more happily than most of rich people . The majority of rich people are taken effect by money pressure, it makes their life uncomfortable because they always have to think about money ,how to produce money and protect their money , either. Today, many young people spent almost all their time to earn as much money as possible. They donât care about themselves because they think money can keep them healthy . This is completely erroneous , many people earn like mad until they have stress, and waste money on treatment. They have forgotten that after they die , they will leave everything behind.

From my view point, I would like to be healthy instead of wealthy. I can do anything include becoming rich but I canât just work hard , drop my health and live the rest of my life in bed . Itâs good to live healthy and remember : âKeep the green mountain , and there is a plenty of woodâ.

I have no idea what the ending proverb means.

Re: Proofreading please 317 words, thank you

Clive — Sun, 18 Jun 2006 05:41:26 GMT

Hi,

Welcome to the Forum.

A feminist approach to the breast cancer experience is not a completely new topic within the academic tribe <<< this word strikes a note of light humour in the Anglo-American world. However, it is important to highlight three main arguments in defense of my research. First of all, quoting Wilkinson and Kitzinger (1993, p. 230) it is necessary to stress that âmost of the research about breast cancer emphasis <<< Is your quote correct? This part seems ungrammatical, missing a main verb on sexuality and body image -meaning being attractive to men and engaging in sexual intercourse with them- (...) but there is very little discussion of other issues in relation to breast loss- breast feeding, or explaining (or concealing) the lost of a breast to a child, for exampleâ. So, unlike most research within the UK/ USA, this research aims to understand the enormity of dealing with this âparticularâ kind of cancer, taking into account the ideological features of the breast cancer discourse. Therefore, it aims to explore womenÂ´s difficulties, responses and experiences of living with breast cancer. Second, I think it is interesting to approach <<< wrong word. impose? the Spanish reality upon the Anglo-American theory. While social and cultural differences must be kept in mind, a cross-cultural perspective would enrich the research question. Is there anything we can learn from the similarities and differences of Spanish and Anglo-American women? The results might shed light on relevant information about breast cancer discourses and practices. Third, my approach to breast cancer is quite challenging within the Spanish academia <<<< perhaps not the right word? What do you mean, mor precisely? itself for several reasons: the first reason is that sciological and anthropological research in gender remains very rare in Spain, not to mention, feminist approaches. The second reason is that the majority of studies are macrosocial and descriptive, focusing moreon quantitative analysis (Valiente 2002, p. 768). Therefore, very few studies have a qualitative approach to gender issues with âsophisticatedâ qualitative analysis such as interviews, focus groups or narrative analysis. Finally, the need for such a study arises from the fact that there are not explanatory works that analyze the experiences and subjectivities of Spanish women living with breast cancer.

You have a dense paragraph here. You might consider changing your 'first/second/third' into a list of three points, numbered -

Best wishes, Clive