Search results for 'tag:Proofreading tag:Verbs' matching tags 'Proofreading' and 'Verbs'

Re: proofreading of funny article

Skrej — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 21:39:08 GMT

changeling
Hi everybody!

I was translating a kind funny recipe. Could you, please, check the following passages? Does it sound good? Do I need any improvement?

You will need eggs to make this apple pie. If you've run out of them, get dressed and rush out to the store. And get iodine, cleansers, soap, bandage and sticking plaster, too. On your way back, grab some flour, apples and sugar. So, you come back home and go to your kitchen right away. While unloading your purchases you will surely drop a few of eggs on the floor. Donât worry about that, just beat remaining 5 (put the number first - 5 remaining eggs) eggs into a bowl. C l (This is a typo, I think - delete it) Clean the kitchen floor, or else it will be slippery. Now follow directions carefully. Take your mixer and start beating eggs. Your mixer wonât work? Just try to switch it on. It did no difference? (use made, instead of did - It made no difference?) You probably have to place the blades. (Say 'insert' instead of 'place', or say "put the blades in" instead of place the blades. Also, you might want to say 'beaters' instead of blades) So now you can beat the eggs. When you finish splashing beaten eggs all over the place you will want to have a shower. Wash yourself very well and get the yolk out of your nose. And finally, wash your clothes.

You have three (Earlier you said 5 eggs in the bowl, now 3 - is this intentional? Does this mean the person splashed out 2 eggs?) beaten yolks in the bowl and that's enough to make our apple pie. Now find old newspapers and magazines and paste (I'd use 'cover' instead of paste) the entire kitchen with them. Cover your furniture with some waste blanket (Subject/verb agreement error here - either say 'some waste blankets' or 'a waste blanket) if you don't plan to buy new furniture. Take (Missing a definite article 'the' here) flour package and put about a cup of flour into the bowl. Gather the flour you spilt on a table (forget about the flour scattered on the floor) and put it back to the package. Make sure youâve pasted (Again, I'd use 'covered' instead of pasted) all the walls and the ceiling in the kitchen properly. Now blend the eggs with the flour.

You need a bath again. Wash all that beaten mixture (Simpler just to use the word 'batter' here instead of 'beaten mixture) off. Take a sharp knife. Well, that's where you need iodine, bandage (either 'a bandage' or 'bandages) and sticking plaster. Peel five apples. Apply iodine to your cuts and bandage your fingers. Stick (Use 'apply' here instead of 'stick' ) the plaster. Now, cut (Again, you're missing the definite article 'the' here) apples. Keep in mind, though, we need two apples for our pie, so feel free to eat the rest of them while cooking. (Consider rewording this sentence slightly. It's gramatically ok, but a bit confusing. I'd say use either one of these two options: (1) Keep in mind, though, we need two apples for our pie, so don't eat all of them. or (2) Keep in mind, we only need 2 apples for our pie, so feel free to eat the rest of them while cooking.) Pick up all apple pieces you dropped on the floor and wash them in running water. Add apples and sugar to the dough. Beat the ingredients. Clean up all those nasty spots on the fridge and windows, or else they will dry up which will make cleaning much harder.

Pour what's left in the bowl in a frying pan (A frying pan is for frying, but you're putting the pan in the oven to bake. I think you mean baking pan.) Forgot to coat your frying pan (baking pan?) with oil? That's ok, just pour the mixture back in the bowl. Now wash the frying pan, (baking pan?) towel it dry and coat with vegetable oil. Wash your hands and again pour the dough in the frying pan. (baking pan?) Place in the oven. If your pie still looks pretty much the same after an hour of baking, check if you turned the heat on. So now the heat is on and you can take a rest. As you wake up suddenly, open all windows, doors and your oven. Bring (Use 'give' or 'make' instead of 'bring'.) your apologies to your neighbors and convince them that there was no fire. Now that you've recovered from all that shock, call your darling and say you gonna make something special for the dinner. Make (Use 'go to' or 'head to/for' instead of 'make') for the store again and buy a cake and a bottle of wine, or even something stiffer. Unpack the cake and put it on the frying pan (Again, use 'baking pan' but you'll need to use the preposition 'in' instead of 'on. - Unpack the cake and put in the baking pan). Greet your darling!

Hi Changeling,

You did a pretty good job with your funny recipe, but I commented on a few minor errors. Feel free to ask for further clarification if my comments don't make sense.

Hope this helps!

Re: Help proofreading "A Doll's House"

Mister Micawber — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 05:53:58 GMT

I have underlined some problem areas:

The Woman Within the Doll

The Baltimore Sun wrote that back in 1879, âA Doll's Houseâ by Henrik Ibsen âshocked and offended people wherever [it] was played,â and that the dramatist assured it was not about a woman, but about âanyone who had to live according to the rules created by othersâ (Hyder). Society thought to be outrageous that a woman would get involved in manly things, for her role in society was exclusively to care for the family and please her husband. Women did not enjoy the rights women do now. They were not taken seriously, and decisions were made by the man who was and still is considered the head of the family. Nora's choice to become free, independent and leave her husband, along with some of the characters' actions made this play to be scandalous for its time.

Ibsen wrote in a letter that the story in âA Doll's Houseâ was about a woman who feels:

" Oppressed and bewildered by belief in authority, she loses her faith in her own moral right and ability to bring up her children... [She is bittered because,] like certain insects, (ought to) go away and die when she has done her duty towards the continuance of the species... [she shakes] off of cares, [but then she feels] a sudden return of apprehension and dread. She must bear it all aloneâ (Doll).

Nora had a beautiful life, she had a husband, beautiful children, and everything she wanted. Earlier in her marriage, his husband suffered of an illness of which he needed to recover somewhere in the south, but this was concealed from him by the doctor and Nora. Not having the means to afford a trip so costly and out of love and desperation, Nora decides to ask for a loan without letting Tolvard know. She forges her father's signature to obtain the loan because she does not want to trouble her father either, who is very ill himself too. However, she is responsible and works secretly from home in order to make the payments. Eventually, Tolvard finds out about her secret and feels that his life, happiness and reputation will be lost once Krogstad, who lent the money, publishes the then scandalous situation out of revenged for having fired him from the bank he now manages. He quickly turns against her. That is the moment when Nora starts to understand things she did not understand before; she realizes she does not love Tolvard anymore just as he does not really love her as she thought, and decides to leave for good to discover herself. [Too many pronouns-- I don't know who's doing what to whom]

The scenery consists of the Helmer's apartment and nowhere else. The description of the apartment depicts the decision that Nora will have to make. There is a door to the right which leads to the entryway and another to the left which leads to Helmer's study. Nora will have to decide which door to take: freedom or Helmer [Tolvard / Helmer: we don't know if they are one or two]. The place is not âexpensively furnishedâ, but it is comfortable, just like Nora's marriage, she lives a comfortable life, but there are certain things she lacks that are more important than riches. No woman could even consider back in the 1800s doing such a scandalous things as to leave not only the husband, but her children too.

The main character in the story is Nora, a seemingly selfish, materialistic woman who cares a lot about money and in living a good life. This is to be expected since her father liked to spend money himself and live a life he could only could afford with credit. He used to called her his âdoll-child, and he played with [her] the way [she] played with [her] dollsâ (Ibsen 1041). She was obviously very protected and spoiled by both, her father and her husband, who provided anything she needed or wanted. Her father raised her not think for herself and just play her role in society. âWhile [she] was at home with [her] father, he used to tell [her] all his opinions, and [she] held the same opinions. If [she] had others [she] said nothing about them, because he wouldn't have liked itâ (1041) [All the bracketed pronouns are distracting; it would be better to give the exact quotes]. This repeated again as a married woman; she would not express her opinion to Tolvard, for they never talked seriously, but seemed to have trusted Dr. Rank better. Norah was greatly misunderstood. She was a loving person, she loved her husband so much that she was willing to forge her father's signature to obtain a loan to take her husband south in order for him to recover from a deadly illness [You said all this before; cut it.]. She is willing to do anything for him. Eventually she realized she does not have to play the doll anymore. One can only imagine people's reaction throughout the play's events.

Tolvard Helmer seemed [Be consistent in verb tenses] to be an ideal husband. He is loving, admirable, honest, ethical, hard-working and successful, but there seems to be a dark side of him. He is a prideful man, he won't ask for money to anyone, to [Commas are not conjunctions.] do so would be humiliating. To him, honor and appearances are more important than family. He does not believe people can change and become good, as he did not believe Krogstad was a good person although he had been honest for a long time already. Also, he is so affectionate that makes one wonder of his sincerity; he calls Nora diminutive names such as featherbrained, spendthrift [These are not diminutives.] , a squirrel, a song-bird, lark, strange little being all the time (994). One cannot think of a woman who would like being called like that and who would not be affected emotionally. Tolvard's reaction after finding out Nora's secret is amusing. He had told Nora that sometimes he wished â[she] was in some terrible danger, just so [he] could take [his] life and soul and everything, for [her] sakeâ (1038), yet he quickly turns against her calling her a wretched woman, a criminal, unprincipled, untrustworthy of raising her children, incapable, etc. His hypocrisy is clearly revealed when as soon as he realizes that Nora's mistake won't affect his reputation he forgives her (1039-1949). There's a saying that goes something like a good friend is hard to find, specially during difficult times; Tolvard was nor a good friend neither that perfect husband he seemed to be. He loved to have control of his wife's life, and his conversations usually tend to imply that Nora would be lost without him; that she needed his guidance and teaching. Tolvard did not love Nora, â[he] thought it fun to be in love with [her]â (1041).

Dr. Rank is in love with Nora, and that seems to have been the main reason he visited the Helmer's house. This character is not essential in the play, but it causes outrage when he dares to reveal Nora his secret. This is almost vulgar for him to do, and very dishonorable, specially during those times in which people were very conservative. It is as if he had taken advantage of the trust the family had in it and ended up tarnishing his reputation.

Mrs. Linde is one of Nora's old friends from school. She gave up her true love for money, but in the end things did not turn out the way she had expected. Her husband died leaving her in a terrible financial situation making [On the other hand, commas are essential for separating dependent clauses.] it necessary for her to work in order to sustain her mother and brothers. After her mother passed away and her brothers did not need her help she left town. Not to have someone to take care of made her feel âcompletely alone in the worldâ, and it frightened her âto be so empty and lostâ (1032). She needed âsomeone to take care ofâ, she wanted to be a mother and wanted the companionship of a husband. In the end, she was supposed to have helped Nora hide her secret. She could have convinced Mr. Krogstad to get the letter back, but she did not intercede (1033). She might have been envious of Nora, after all, Nora had all she was longing for; a husband, beautiful children, and a good life.

Lastly, Krogstad is the one who lent Nora money to save her husband, and threatens her to tell her husband if she does not convince Tolvard to let him keep his job at the bank, but just as Nora did, he once made a mistake, which caused him to loose his reputation. He was a man who seems to have been harden by life's difficulties. When he was left by the woman he dearly loved âit was as if all the solid ground dissolved from under [his] feetâ (1031). This might have caused him to become the âhalf-drownedâ kind of man, as he refers to himself. After finding love in his life he turns from the revengeful person into a forgiving one.

In conclusion, Nora realized of her true value as a human being and as a woman. She decides to leave everything and everyone, husband, children, luxuries to a journey to liberate herself. To do such thing was unthinkable at that time and caused turmoil, but it was the best choice she could ever make. To leave one's children is a terrible things to do and was not necessary, but looking beyond that, without prejudices, it is not hard to understands she is trying to figure out who she really is and what she believes in. This is essential to one's happiness; therefore she is determined to make necessary changes in her life even if people think bad of her. It seems that daring to do so back in the 1800s was just as bad as selling drugs or prostituting oneself.

infinitive

Taka — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 10:50:33 GMT

An infinitive phrase consists of an infinitive and its modifiers, objects, or complements. It can function as a noun, adjective, or adverb.

(1)Proofreading your writing is a good way to ensure the absence of typing mistakes.
infinitive phrase = adjective modifying way

(2)To greatly increase the amount of stress in your life, leave your writing task until the night before it is due.
infinitive phrase = adverb modifying leave

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/grammar/phraseformulas.html

Now, which kind of infinitive is it here in red?

Growing up in a society, we learn how to use gestures, glances, slight changes in tone of voice, and other auxiliary communication devices to alter or emphasize what we say and do.

(1) other auxiliary communication devices to alter or emphasize what we say and do
(i.e. adjective modifying other auxiliary communication devices)

(2)we learn how to use gestures...and other auxiliary communication devices in order to alter or emphasize what we say and do=in order to alter or emphasize what we say and do, we learn how to use...
(i.e. adverb modiying (we) learn)

Re: proofreading#6

julielai — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 16:08:09 GMT

It is the third longest river in the world. One third of the entire nation lives by this river, which is about 4,000 miles long. The scenery is spectaular there. The biggest dam, which will be finished by 2012, is to stop its flooding in many parts. The good thing about the dam is that it prevents flooding and the bad thing about the dam is that a lot of archaeological and cultural places have been, and would be, destroyed. It was a fantastic experience when I was on the boat in the river. I can see an endless range of mountains on both sides of the river.

Boxer always followed his two maxims, which were: 1) I would work harder, and 2) the leader was always right. The windmill had been destroyed by the enemies. The community wanted to build another one. Boxer got up every morning to bring stones from the quarry although his friends advised him that he should take some rest. Boxer would be eligible for retirement next month. He ignored his friendsâ advice. One day, a couple of men came down from the quarry, saying that Boxer was (wrong verb) fallen. Half of ___ (article) community went up to see him and saw him lying down on the grass. Someone went to inform the foremen and he immediately called the ambulance.

It was a golden book that Howard always carried. He got his sources for his writing from it. The idea of the book he had written was parallel to the idea he learned from his mentor. The characters were almost the same yet the outcome was quite different. He resisted (wording) that was not plagiarism. When his new book came out, the critics were hysterical. They condemned the book, ____ _____ (turn this to an opinion) corrupted the youth.

Re: proofreading#2

Castellano — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 22:39:22 GMT

Ever since its birth, this dog has been with Larry. Now, the dog was malodorous, old, crippled and blind, but Larry was always with it. (The adj. stinky is too colloquial to be employed in written English.) Larry's roommate, John, wanted to get rid of the dog because he was bothered by the smell. Even though the dog left the room, the smell would still remain in the room. One day, they sat opposite each other at the table, playing cards. John said that his friend's dog herded a lot of pups and that he wanted to get some of them; but Larry paid no attention about what he said.

-----

Couple of things:

- You need to connect your sentences. A good solid sentence will always remind the reader of something and introduce the reader TO something. Connect your sentences with commas, semicolons, hyphens, etc... Use adverbs too, like but, also, because, etc...

- Use spell check; it will pick up or flag spelling and grammatical errors.

Now, try to edit your second paragraph. If you still think you need help, write back!

-----

A bunk house stood somewhere in the plain. There was about eight beds in it. All labor men who worked in the barley farm lived there. The boss's daughter-in-law lived a miled away. People in the bunk house talked about her. She was a tramp who gave the eye to every one she saw.

Re: Urgent! please help me to proofreading it..

julielai — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 04:13:21 GMT

Hi,

Is this a JUPAS essay? The content is okay. Some problems with grammar and wording.

I've highlighted the parts that you need to fix.

To be a business woman has long been my dream. It (Do not use pronoun here) not only helps me to develop a logical and analytical mind, but also enrich my knowledge. This knowledge also enable (verb agreement) me to serve myself and (too self-serving) the community. So I have chosen Marketing for my major.

Learning the development of practical skills and academic and professional knowledge is one of the reasons why I have chosen (article) Marketing programme. It has a strong emphasis on interactive and student-centred learning methods. It also provides a comprehensive business education, which has attracted (wording) me to put it as my first choice.

Besides, I have the (You haven't got the chance yet) chance to visit (wording) companies overseas and companies in the mainland to conduct project work and to present our findings at the annual marketing symposium. I can also spend a semester studying in another university overseas or in the mainland. It is a good chance (wording) to step beyond (wording) Hong Kong and experience other countriesâlife and culture.

After completing this programme, I can learn a lot of skills such as communication (adj. here) and oratorical skill. This knowledge can significantly serve (wording) myself. The oratorical skill can enrich my social circle (not really). The analytical skill learn (verb form) from the programme also enable_ (singular) me to train (wording) my thought, and develop my logical and analytical mind. These skills will greatly affect my interpersonal relationship and my career in the future.

In addition, this knowledge can help me serve the community. I will apply the critical thinking learn (same here) from the programme to solve real and practical business problems in the marketing world. The analytical and communication skills also enable me to face the challenge and serve in an increasingly complex business environment. Furthermore, I hope I can play a part in using the key business knowledge and skills to deal confidently with broad issues in a global business environment. Even if I do not pursue in marketing in the future, I will try my best to put into practice what has been learned.

In conclusion, the programme I have chosen of study helps realize my goal. I will try my best to fulfill my dream to be a successful business woman. After graduation, I will also endeavor to serve the community and contribute _ _ (preposition) business world.

Re: Generally - Position

CalifJim — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 19:17:27 GMT

OK. Here's my candid advice. (I hope you are feeling strong today! )

Proofread carefully, because I think a lot of times your posts have mistakes that an advanced student like you should not be making!

Here are just three that I've noticed.

1) I is always capitalized. It's never i.
2) You sometimes use more than one -s marker in the same verb phrase. Does it has ...? for example, instead of Does it have ...?. That's a big mistake!
3) You don't always invert the subject and verb as required when forming a question, for example in some of your recent posts. That's also a big mistake!

When a native speaker reads a sentence with an adverb in a slightly unusual position, he is usually not disturbed in the slightest. But when any of the three mistakes above are made, the native speaker begins to believe that the writer is illiterate! (I'm trying to illustrate the relative importance of certain topics in grammar.)

As I say, these might be mistakes created by not proofreading or by being in too much of a hurry, but they might also be a sign that you have not yet thoroughly mastered these principles. Maybe these structures have not yet become automatic for you, so you will just need to be more careful until they are automatic!

I hope I did not hurt your feelings by mentioning this, because I didn't intend to, and I would not have done so if you hadn't asked in your most recent post.

CJ

Re: wealth or health

Mister Micawber — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 07:00:20 GMT

It still needs work-- or at least, proofreading. I have emboldened problem areas below:

Health is more important than wealth. Health is the necessary condition while wealth is the sufficient condition. We need both of them , in order to live happily . Bus as you can will see below, the necessary condition is always more important.

According to the first paragraph , health is the necessary condition. That mean you canât get what you want unless you are healthy . This is the most important factor.

Wealth is just a sufficient condition , as there are many way to be successful not only being wealthy . You can become a famous singer or a well-known artist of professor without having a lot of money . All you need is wealth . On the other hand we canât buy health with money. Today, there are still some diseases which have no cure . wealth doesnât always make life more healthy and happily . If you are a billionaire, you always fell unsafe . Afraid of being killed of kidnapped for your fortune will speedily harm their health and shorten their longevity. Further more , without being fit , how can you enjoy your wealth . If a man has wealth , he can have every thing . As an old saying : âWhere there is health , there is life â Thatâs why health is more important than wealth.

The statistics are clear that people are healthy live longer add more happily than most of rich people . The majority of rich people are taken effect by money pressure, it makes their life uncomfortable because they always have to think about money ,how to produce money and protect their money , either. Today, many young people spent almost all their time to earn as much money as possible. They donât care about themselves because they think money can keep them healthy . This is completely erroneous , many people earn like mad until they have stress, and waste money on treatment. They have forgotten that after they die , they will leave everything behind.

From my view point, I would like to be healthy instead of wealthy. I can do anything include becoming rich but I canât just work hard , drop my health and live the rest of my life in bed . Itâs good to live healthy and remember : âKeep the green mountain , and there is a plenty of woodâ.

I have no idea what the ending proverb means.

Re: Proofreading please 317 words, thank you

Clive — Sun, 18 Jun 2006 05:41:26 GMT

Hi,

Welcome to the Forum.

A feminist approach to the breast cancer experience is not a completely new topic within the academic tribe <<< this word strikes a note of light humour in the Anglo-American world. However, it is important to highlight three main arguments in defense of my research. First of all, quoting Wilkinson and Kitzinger (1993, p. 230) it is necessary to stress that âmost of the research about breast cancer emphasis <<< Is your quote correct? This part seems ungrammatical, missing a main verb on sexuality and body image -meaning being attractive to men and engaging in sexual intercourse with them- (...) but there is very little discussion of other issues in relation to breast loss- breast feeding, or explaining (or concealing) the lost of a breast to a child, for exampleâ. So, unlike most research within the UK/ USA, this research aims to understand the enormity of dealing with this âparticularâ kind of cancer, taking into account the ideological features of the breast cancer discourse. Therefore, it aims to explore womenÂ´s difficulties, responses and experiences of living with breast cancer. Second, I think it is interesting to approach <<< wrong word. impose? the Spanish reality upon the Anglo-American theory. While social and cultural differences must be kept in mind, a cross-cultural perspective would enrich the research question. Is there anything we can learn from the similarities and differences of Spanish and Anglo-American women? The results might shed light on relevant information about breast cancer discourses and practices. Third, my approach to breast cancer is quite challenging within the Spanish academia <<<< perhaps not the right word? What do you mean, mor precisely? itself for several reasons: the first reason is that sciological and anthropological research in gender remains very rare in Spain, not to mention, feminist approaches. The second reason is that the majority of studies are macrosocial and descriptive, focusing moreon quantitative analysis (Valiente 2002, p. 768). Therefore, very few studies have a qualitative approach to gender issues with âsophisticatedâ qualitative analysis such as interviews, focus groups or narrative analysis. Finally, the need for such a study arises from the fact that there are not explanatory works that analyze the experiences and subjectivities of Spanish women living with breast cancer.

You have a dense paragraph here. You might consider changing your 'first/second/third' into a list of three points, numbered -

Best wishes, Clive

Re: looking for a verb

Grammar Geek — Sat, 06 May 2006 03:13:19 GMT

Annotate is fine.

I was differentiating between editing and proofreading. Yes, there are editors at publishers, and copy editors in newspapers as job titles. But "to edit" is a verb and "to copy edit" is a specific kind of editing - and anyone can do that regardless of job title or place of employment. I work in the corporate communications department of my company. We're all just called writers and we pass our work back and forth. Sometimes we ask for a proofread, sometimes a full edit (major content revisions, flow, logic), sometimes a copy edit (make sure things are okay, fix minor content issues, make things parallel, and also proofead). If I proofread, I don't make changes to the flow - I just fix the out-and-out errors.