Search results for 'tag:Punctuation tag:TOEFL' matching tags 'Punctuation' and 'TOEFL'

Re: Please correct me with the essay

Mister Micawber — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 08:51:15 GMT

1) What should I replace my work with?-- No title is required for TOEFL essays; if you need a title, it should announce to the reader the topic of your essay.

2)
the parentless children-- these are not previously mentioned or specific children
make their lives better -- what English word means 'make...better'?
people (why did you underline here?). -- What word is more specific?
measure I will(why did you underline here?). -- Only one measure? And verb form is not consistent.

3)
normally(why did you underline here?).-- Orphanhood is normal??
lead miserable lives due to(why did you underline here?).-- Strictly, 'due to' is an adjective; use a synonym.
the lack of education and materials (why did you underline here?). -- wrong word
However, before we did all the (why did you underline here?).-- wrong verb form
A charity fund might well be operated(why did you underline here? Can I replace it with "opened?") -- Yes, wrong word; use 'opened' or a synonym.
make them pay at all costs(why did you underline here?).-- Idiom is wrong here, and redundant: taxes are mandatory by nature
The tax can be fluctuating(why did you underline here?).-- wrong verb form
It's time the government... emphasize the essay, why would you say it was extraneous?-- That is not emphasis; it is beside the point; the essay is about what you would do, not what the government should do

4)To sum up, I-the governor(why did you underline here?).-- Wrong punctuation, new title, unnecessary appositive
Everyone bears in their minds(why did you underline here?) - the idiom is incorrectly formed
that even orphans have the(why did you underline here?).--no previous mention, no specificity

NOTE: If you want to continue this revision, please post a clean, revised copy for my review, Belly.

Kindly Reveiw Resume/CV for MD post

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 17:05:32 GMT

I was recently requested by a recruitment agency to provide them with my CV, so they will be able to find me a job. I have prepared this CV for that propose.
I highly appreciate if you review my CV and tell me about every kind of errors that I have made from the content to style, even punctuation, address, grammar, vocabulary, use of capital letters and articles, and every kind suggestion, or whatever you think about it.
Many thanks again for your invaluable feedbacks and assistance.

SH. O. GH.

175 between East 3-4 Ave. *** Street

Town, City, 654164, Country

+x 545 11431

s.x@gmal.com

SUMMARY

A highly motivated, determined, and dedicated 29 year old general practitioner (GP) with practical work experience in conducting evidence based medicine during my 16th month compulsory national service, when I was working as a GP in a health clinic handling most aspects of a GP responsibilities. My appreciation for importance of â evidence based medicineâ has led me to propose surveys and researches to gather appropriate data concerning most daily encountered medical problems. My commitment to humanitarian activities and my professional obligations led to a two-week voluntary work for Red Crescent during the very first days of catastrophic *** earthquake ( date), when I experienced working with the least equipment and facilities during a natural disaster of massive number of casualties and lots of emergencies. I spent two month of my internship and one month of my clerkship in a rural health clinic where I became familiar with the the country health system and policies in rural area while under supervision I was responsible for daily patient care and visits, handling and updating patients records, doing patients follow-ups, vaccination, pregnancy and pediatric routine cares, birth control, consultation, monitoring community health and addressing any health problem in the community. I proposed a survey during this invaluable experience of my internship to find out the results of failure of patient for following up their routing visits especially for pregnant women and juvenileâs which resulted in 23 percent increase in their attendance. The rest of my internship was in a large medical center in *** city during which we were trained for conducting a wide array of medical skills in all medical disciplines. I understand the value of research in medicine and have always been keen to conduct practical researches to solve some problems of community or bring new treatment to practice, which could be noticed from my research background. I have always been eager to connect my current knowledge to perpetual stream of new medical breakthroughs and practices through reading reputable medical journals, however my research background makes me to be critical to new article and research papers form content and methodology perspective. Playing Basketball has taught me the value of teamwork and to be more proficient in indispensable art of time management. I studied medicine in and graduated from a medical school listed in both WHO and IMED directory of medical schools.

WORK EXPERIENCE

*** Health Clinic, city, country ( 2006 - Jun, 2007)
General Practitioner (GP)
As a result of post graduation compulsory National Service, I served in the above health clinic having the full responsibility of a GP, handling primary health care issues , emergency settings, psychiatric cases, and being responsible for executing comprehensive patient workout, providing full medical and psychiatric consultation, figuring out patients diagnostic and therapeutic plan including: drug prescription, requesting x-rays and labs, referring to higher centers and appropriate specialties. My simultaneous enthusiasm for conducting evidence-based medicine in all aspects of my practice and medical research resulted to my proposition of carrying out problem-oriented surveys and local researches to promote comprehensive health care and patient management. As the result we decided to undertake some preventive and educational measures to reduce the number of patients with low back pain, knee pain, depression, peptic ulcer, headache altogether by 19 percent within an eight-month follow-up of the targeted population. I worked with three other doctors, seven nurses, and ten physician assistances, also being responsible for monitoring nurses and assistances work, coordinating personnel, and scheduling night shifts.

Ministry of Health and Medical Education, country (June, 2007) permanent medical Practice Certificate no.5683

Medical Council, Country P.O. Box: 358454 (December, 2005)
M.C. no. 3842

Ministry of Health and Medical Education, Country (December, 2005)
Temporary Medical Practice Certificate no.617

EDUCATION

Name of University *** Branch, Town, City, Country (23 September 1997 - August, 2005)
Doctorate of Medicine (MD)
Medicine Cum. GPA: 16.75 (out of 20.00)
Thesis: *** association with *** Infection in pediatrics Grade: 20.00 (out of 20.00)

Internship: Name of Medical Center City, Country (23 September, 2003 â 25 August 2005)
Clerkship: Name of Medical Center, City, Country (February, 2001- September, 2003)

First National University Medical Congress (October, 2000)
Internet Application in Medicine Workshop

Name of Pre-University Center, Town, City, Country (1995 â June, 1996)
Pre-University Diploma
Experimental Science Cum. GPA: 18.58 (out of 20.00)

Name of High School, Town, City, Country (1993 â June, 1995)
High School Diploma
Experimental Science Cum. GPA: 18.39 (out of 20.00)

Researches X Club P.O. Box: 454, Town, City, Country (2005 â present)
Researcher no. 23679

SKILLS

Language
IELTS Overall Band Score 7.5 Listening 8.0 Reading 8.5 Writing 7.0 Speaking 7.0 (2007)

TOEFL Paper-Based Total Score 650 (out of 675) Test of Written English 5 (out of 6) (2006)

French Language Basic to Intermediate 12 month evening classes (2006 - present)

Clinical

Experienced in: Evidence-Based Clinical Practice, IV line insertion-injection, IM injection, Arterial Blood Gas (ABG) sampling, Paracentesis, Suturing, Tracheal Intubation, CPR, Nasogastric tube insertion (NGT).
Under supervision: Lumbar Puncture, Pleural Tap, and Plastering

Research

Knowledgeable in research methodology, Experienced with research proposition and proposals organization, Teamwork conscious.

Computer

Internet application in medicine, SPSS statistical software, Microsoft Windows XP, Microsoft Word, Microsoft Power Point, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft Internet Explorer, Mozila Firefox, Norton Antivirus, Kaspersky Antivirus, Bitdefender Antivirus, PCcillin Antivirus. Familiar with: Adobe Photoshop, Adobe Acrobat, Microsoft FrontPage.

Sports

Proficient in playing Basketball, Amateur Bodybuilding Experience, Experience with training bodybuilders

5th National Universities Student Games: Gold medal in Basketball (summer, 2000)

Name of University intra-university Basketball Games: Bronze Medal (winter, 2001)

Name of Youth Basketball Team: won several medals (nationally well-known basket ball team) (1993 - 1997)

VOLUNTEER WORK

*** Earthquake, Town, City, Country.
Name of Red Crescent Organization (200-)
Two-week voluntary work in earthquake-stricken name of town, Involved in on-the-field: Triage, Primary Medical Care and Services, Providing Basic Treatments, Assisting specialties in minor surgeries, Handling with emergencies, CPR, Cooperation with Foreign Aide Groups and connecting them to Iranian health authorities and services.

HONORS and AWARDS

3rd National Medical Congress of Young Researchers, Town, City, Country (December, 200-)
Best Article Award: Moderate Physical Activity in Female ...

Pre-Internship Clinical Knowledge Examination Nationwide (September, 200-)
Above 99 percentile nationwide, Ranked 3rd among *** University All branches Nationwide.

PERSONAL INTERESTS

Playing Basketball from very young age has taught me to appreciate team work and self-sacrifice and be well versed in time management. Other interests: Reading., Table Tennis, Foreign Languages, world history and civilizations, Internet, Climbing, Hiking, Music, Computer.

Argumentative paper! need help!! got a D on this!!!!!!

Anonymous — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 07:11:26 GMT

Hello i am currently taking english class over the summer..

and having trouble with English paper,

since english is my second language, as though i thought i wrote okay but

the professor gave me a D for this paper..

i don't understand its english 101 class and got a D for unclearity and lack of

explanations. and he said i need polish my punctuation which i don't know

what the hell it is, also i am too wordy?.... please guys help me to get an A.

here it is...

Even though its unfairness has been suggested from various points of views, the standardized tests in the United States have been used for college admission for almost 100 years. This problem-causing standardized test, the SAT, is also known as Scholastic Aptitude Test. The intended primary purpose of this test is to be a faculty instrument to predict the success of students in college. Also, the SAT is considered a measuring tool to gauge the level of studentsâ reading and mathematic comprehension. Carl Brigham, who developed the SAT as an intelligence test for the use in college admissions, once had said âthe SAT testing system ignored factors such as schooling, family background, and familiarity with Englishâ (Fleming). According to this statement, the SATs must be used as a fair source to test students because not only it affects college admission for students, but also for equalities for all test takers. Regarding the recent scholastic suggestions indicating the disadvantages that are followed by gender, minority groups, and misusage of the test materials, the SAT should not be used as a strong determining factor for the college admission.

One of the factors that results disadvantage of the SAT is gender of the test takers. It is universally known that the learning and problem approaching method significantly varies on gender. The SAT test is disregarding these facts because both genders get the same tests and be tested on it. Not surprisingly, few private schools have accepted theses facts anaccepting only one gender students . Based on the statistics from 270,000 students, Dr. Ken Rowe, Australian Council for Educational Research, found that both boys and girls performed between 15 and 22 percentile points higher on standardized tests when they went to single sexed high school (Rowe). This data proves that applying different teaching systems to different genders has led to better performance of students. McCullough, researcher at University of Wisconsin-Stout, also suggested that males are more intuitive, indirect, and abstract learners whereas females are more organized and analytical learners (McCullough). Therefore, each gender requires different learning approach system. And these characteristics in each gender should be carefully considered before giving out the tests and used as college admission.

In fact, an article titled âUnderprediction of Female Performance from Standardized Knowledge Testsâ states that there is an inaccurate prediction on the femalesâ performance in their freshmen year in colleges. It informs even though the femalesâ SAT scores are lower than malesâ by about 34 points on each section, the femalesâ have higher average grade points in their freshmen years of college (Poole). This suggests that the SAT is not well-structured enough to address the differences in gender learning process to represent the performance of female students in colleges. This male-favoring biased test should be corrected for better precision in determining the performance level of students in colleges. More specifically, the questions on the SATs should be changed to more analytical and organized questions for females while questions where intuitive thinking is required should be given out to male. Therefore, by gender, the test takers should get different SAT test in order to achieve its purpose.

Disadvantages of minority groups should also be considered as a factor of unfairness of SATs. The minority, African American, Hispanic, and Asian immigrants, score significantly lower than white students. Especially, on the verbal section on the SAT which tests college level vocabulary and reading comprehension. This section of the SATs is more disadvantageous for students whose English is not their first language. Also, The National Center for Fair & Open Testing found that even for bilingual students whose first language was English, the SAT inaccurately predicted college performance (FairTest). Although there is a replacement test for verbal section called âTOEFLâ which stands for âTest of English as a Foreign Languageâ. It does not entirely compensate the verbal section and represent the performance of the students. The TOEFL, also refers as English proficiency test, does not test college level of vocabulary and reading level, but it tests studentsâ capability of learning English. Therefore, with TOEFL, the performance of high school students further in college can not be predicted and used. Moreover, it costs about 4 to 5 times more than the SATs which causes to minimize the test attempts, and this factor also can not be ignored from the unfairness of the SAT. Also, the Rigidity usage of the SAT for college admission will automatically result in accepting less minority freshman classes (FairTest).

Everson and Michna, professors at Columbia University, have proposed that the family income influences on the score of the SATs. On the data titled as âObserved Relationship between Family Income & SAT Scores:â indicates the proportioned relationship between the family income and the SAT scores of students. It also suggests that the SAT score of the child depends on the race of the family and interestingly the race of the family also correlates with the family income. In that data, a student from a white family with an income above $ 70,000 would score above 1008 points on the SATs, and a child from an African-American with an income of lower than $ 10,000 would score below 675 points on the SATs (Everson and Michna). This statistic implies that the income of the parents directly affects the SAT scores of their children rather than their intellect. Since the income and class of the parents is usually determined by the educational level of parents, this could be interpreted as the SAT is designed and favors the students with highly educated parents. Therefore, based on the statistics, the SAT has preferential of certain ethnic race and higher income and educational level of parents.

In addition to those disadvantages, the SAT prep courses or materials are misused in various ways which violate the intended purpose of the SAT. Even though most colleges say that the college does not have specific cut-off lines of SAT scores for accepting students, there are an increasing number of students who are studying for the SATs only for higher scores. This is resulted from the common misconception from people that the comparative schools only accept the higher SAT scores and reject lower SAT scores (FairTest). McEntire, a researcher, had proposed a flaw of the SATs because 2 to 3 months of quick preparation of the SAT will significantly raise the scores. Therefore, those scores lack the relevance of the prediction of the studentsâ performance in colleges. Numerous test preparation materials are now on every book stores and even certain institutions are built solely in order to teach SATs. Even if the costs are up to $800-1000, parents are promoting students to attend SAT prep course (McEntire).

The Flaws along with illegal act upon taking SATs are abused globally, and this factor should be modified for a fair test. The following problem is time related disadvantages considering the fact that the SATs are given out to the students at the same time world widely. Therefore, students who took the test earlier in the one side of the earth provide information by posting the answers and discussing the problems on a certain website. This will give time differences for those who live in the other side of the earth and give pre-exposure to the test before taking the test. Not only this action is illegal and politically improper, but also raises the questions on the fairness of the SAT. Another abuse of the SAT can be suggested from the unjust time management. Because of the fact that the SAT also tests students time distributions for each problem, the SATs are should be taken in strict given time (Collegeboard). But few articles have reported the problems that were related to poor time management that results in giving extra times for students. Allen, a writer for home schooling, has proposed that the extra amount of time while taking SAT will improve the scores which disobey the purpose of the SAT (Allen). These time-related problems could be fixed by producing variety version of the tests, and also that test can be taken on computers which eliminate such disadvantageous factors.

Junior and Senior high school students are frantically studying to memorize SAT words and practice how quickly to apply mathematical theorems to the problems. Most upper classmen high school students undergo these rituals even though the SATs contain various flaws and unfairness factors. Regarding to previous discussions, those flaws are not appropriate enough to represent the potentials and abilities of studentsâ performance in their freshmen years in colleges. Even Testmakers acknowledge that high school grade-point average or class rank is the best predictors of first-year grades, despite the huge variation among high schools and courses (FairTest). Furthermore, the SATs should not be used as a definitive source for college admission. Itâs urgent for colleges to raise another valid standardized test which will eliminate such disadvantages and flaws. Such as for colleges not requiring the SAT scores from the students who falls in to top 20 percent could be a solution. And less concentration on the SAT scores, but put more weight on accepting students regarding their other curriculum such as leadership, activities, honor or awards, and GPAs would be an another solution. The current SAT materials are not apt to measure the studentsâ abilities of performance with those unfairness and disadvantages factors. Moreover, the SAT seemed it had lost its primary purpose of predicting the performance of the students, and what it actually stands for as Scholastic Aptitude Test.

thanks for reading this far but i am that frustrated for having freaking D.

you can email me with your revised version to wkawk2416@hotmail.com

or leave comments feel free to correct syntax + grammarical errors. thanks!