Search results for 'tag:Regards tag:Jokes' matching tags 'Regards' and 'Jokes'

Californication Season 1

JCDenton — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 21:49:07 GMT

Hi guys,

Have someone seen it? When my colleague was recommending me this show, he told me:" Man, be ready for the awesome jokes about sex and most off all on excellent David Duchovny". Truth be told, I was kinda doubtful about that, 'cause last thing where David Duchovny's perfomance didn't sucked were the X-Files...At least I haven't seen a good movie with him after that. I guess Californication was David's second chance and imho he grabbed it. No surprise that he won the Golden Globe for that and I strongly disagree with the opinion which I read somewhere on the internet that he won it just because he had there a sex with three womans per episode.... Little introduction, David personates there Hank Moody. Hank is a pessimistic and self-loathing writer who's career is coming to an end, because his muse left him. So Hank is hanging around in Los Angeles and having...ehm..one night relations with womans.... Of course, it's not just about that. The dialogs are well-written and funny. I handled whole season within the last two days and I really enjoyed that even if the english in there was total hardcore, but portal urbandictionary.com helped in almost all cases...Have someone seen Californication?...

Best scene for me...:-)

Becca (Hank's daughter) to Hank: Father...Why is there naked lady in your bedroom? There's no hair on her vagina...Do you think she's ok?

Hank: I'll check...

Here are some other scenes..

Best Regards

JCD

file a less lethal

JCDenton — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 18:18:39 GMT

Hi guys,

Can you please help me with this situation?

Context: Police SWAT team is practising the assault entry into the closed room. Police officer, who played the bad guy, is secured and lying on the ground. One guy from that SWAT team is lying on him in order to hold him...That secured officer is making a joke...

Secured police officer: Huh, your breath is killing me, man.

SWAT team member: Sorry, my wife made an Cabbage Rolls.

Secured police officer: You want to file a less lethal report on those?

SWAT team member: Whoa, watch it.

I'm pretty sure that he was joking about the cooking skills of the wife of that SWAT team guy. But what did he say? What does the underlined sentence mean?

many thanks in advance

Best Regards

Re: New joke..this one is good..;-)

JCDenton — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 08:04:39 GMT

Hi Sunray Shower,

That's ok. In fact, this joke remainded me one story from the university, where I was studying. One professor there was examining one of his students. He wanted to give him "B" for his performance, but that student wanted "A": "Hey c'mon, professor, I answered all of your questions. I wanna "A"..:-) He said. That professor was thinking for a while and answered: "All right, if you'll figure out how many light bulbs are in this room, I give you an "A". That's easy, said that student. There are 4 light bulbs in this room. So are you gonna give me an "A"? No that's wrong, said professor and took out fifth light bulb hidden in his table. There are five bulbs in this room...sorry...Next...:-). That joke is very similar to this story. Everyone is choosing from that three options. But they're forgeting that the most easiest way to empty that bath-tub is just pull out the plug...:-)). This forms an point of this joke. Like I said, it was a trap from that doctor.

Best Regards

JCD

Good joke for good mood..:-)

JCDenton — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 12:00:52 GMT

Cheatin' Johnny

In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and
said, Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.
Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. Well, said Mr.
Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, ?Who was our first
president??, and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put ?George
Washington,? and so did you.
So, everyone knows that he was the first president.
Well, just wait a minute, said Mr. Johnson. The next question was, ?Who freed
the slaves?? Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you.
Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that, said Johnny.
Wait, wait, said Mr. Johnson. The next question was, ?Who was president during
the Louisiana Purchase?? Mary put ?I don't know,? and you put, ?Me neither?.

Best Regards

JCD

Re: Should Taiwan be part of China?

Goodman — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:09:46 GMT

<<<.>>>>I have to defense my motherland.
Osee,
This is a simple, yet patriatic statement, and I see it in the same light in that regard. But seriously
I don't think we can do much should one day China really get into a military confrontation with US.
I have my own opinions about the reunitification of Taiwan and I think it will happen in a peaceful and
harmonious fashion, without bloodsheds. Sure, the emerging China is on the US military radar but
considered as a bleep and not enough yet to be a serious threat. We have to be careful of the news
source we watch for news and understanding of world events.
I can't trust everything I watch on TV or stuff I read on the newspapers. Some are so tainted with bias and agendas that
the news is skewed.
About the my last comment. It was an old sarcastic joke.

Re: I thought a spider is/was an insect

CalifJim — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:30:44 GMT

Pter
And universal falsehood. What a phrase! This is important because we are not talking about something that is always true. As a result, we can only use the past tense in sentences starting with "I thought it was". The "was" is not the result of backshifting. It is used instead to indicate that the believe was hold true in the past but is now found to be false.

My apologies for introducing a joke! The "universal falsehood" reference is a complete joke! It doesn't matter whether what is reported is universally true or unversally false. What's important is that in the speaker's mind it is universally (or eternally, if you wish) true. In that way, in the right context, you can even have the reported speech: The scientist said that the earth is flat.

Consequently, the "was" truly IS the result of backshifting after "thought". It has nothing to do with beliefs considered true in the past but false in the present. You can banish all such logic from your mind. You came to believe some of these things because I put you off the track with my joke.

I don't know which sample sentences you are referring to, but after thought, knew, hoped, believed, and felt, you always need a past tense.

____

I didn't notice that it was not reported speech. (natural, normal)

I didn't notice that it's not reported speech. (also possible, less used)

You may find that each main clause verb has its own idiosyncracies with regard to backshifting. notice acts a little like a reporting verb. What you noticed may still be quite noticeable to your listener, and you may want to emphasize this fact. Nevertheless, keep this is mind: Backshifting is never wrong.

____

OK. I went back and found these. I think these are the samples you were referring to. The first choices shown are the ones that came to my mind first. It's not really more complicated than that. The second choice is also perfectly grammatical except as noted in the second sentence, where backshifting is required.

My professor said that spiders are (were also possible) insects! I didn't think they were (are not possible). I think he is (was also possible) wrong.

Re: Please explain me this joke...please

JCDenton — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:01:08 GMT

Many thanks GG for absolutely clear explanation! The problem was the right meaning of the word approval. But now I understand what this guy said and I agree with you...It wasn't funny...Hey, these guys from the comedy clubs have sometimes really weird sense of humor...

I'm in the middle of the episode and I couldn't get this joke out of my mind, that's why I asked...

many thanks again!

regards

JCD

Please explain me this joke...please

JCDenton — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:02:26 GMT

Hi my EF friends,

This time I need you to explain me this joke..:-)..Situation: Man is standing in the front of the restaurant audience and he is telling them, how his father had been beating the hell out of him...When he was a child. And here comes the joke, he said:

He really nailed it, you know just... (he really knew, howto punch..)

Any more would have been barbaric. (this is clear)

And yet any less, I wouldn't be seeking
the approval of you drunks. (???? Here the audience started to laugh...)

So, thanks, Dad.

Please what is so funny on this joke???? ...:-)

many thanks in advance

regards

JCD

Re: Two question about "where"

Velimir — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 07:30:28 GMT

Hello again,

I would say too that it is a tricky question for non-professionals like us Kooyeen.Thank you again for giving your explanation.By the way,I've read a good joke about this "Where are you going to".Maybe its an old joke,but I've read it only recently,so here it is :

A: Where're you going to?

B: Hey dummy, don't you know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition?

A: Oh yeah; where're you going to,d...head ?

As to emoticons,unfortunately,I don't see "insert smiley",probably because of the browser(I use Opera,and I like it).

Hello Ant 222,thank you for joining this post.And thank you for giving me a chance to give one answer myself.

"The question is: "Why do you need to know it? Will it make your English better?"

The answer is: "Absolutely."

Here goes one smiling smiley.

Best regards

Velimir

Re: Please explain me this joke...

JCDenton — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 21:37:17 GMT

Mister Micawber wrote:

The first line is meant to sound risque (4 balls = 4 testicles), but the joke is that it is not a sexual reference-- 4 balls here means 4 baseball pitches that do not cross home plate, and so the batter is 'walked', i.e. allowed to move to first base automatically.

Actually, the joke as it stands does not make sense, since if the baseball-playing elephant already has 4 balls, he has already been walked-- a decision post facto cannot be made.

Thx Mr.M,

but since I have absolutely no clue about baseball, I give this up..:-(((. It is a similar situation like when I was watching CSI NY, last week. They mentioned there the story about Steve Bartman(by-stander, who catched the faul ball)...Baseball is for me like soccer for you Americans..:-)...I just know, that there is a batter and some players in the field at the bases and that's all..:-)))

Thanks anyway...

have a nice day.

with regards

JCD