Search results for 'tag:Semicolons tag:Paragraphs' matching tags 'Semicolons' and 'Paragraphs'

Re: tense checking

Anonymous — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 02:39:27 GMT

Thank you so much.

How would you divide this type of writing (diary or reflection piece?) into paragraphs, especially when the content of a possible paragraph is two or thre sentences long?

You asked:

I am starting to work on my two-month project on ~~today~~ this afternoon;, and when my nephew gets here, I will probably have finished half the project.Tenses are okay. You can finish half of a two-month project in one day?

I think the probable date I noted for his visit is one month from the day of writing and I think I also have noted that the probable period of completion will last two months. What made you think the writing gives out an idea that I will try to finish the project in one day?

You changed the tense of the last sentence to present perfect; (semicolon OK?) but I don't think a past is wrong but a present tense is better because the choice made is current and currently related.

Last sentence that you made a change:

Yes, I have made the choice and that is to finish the project on time.

Memos show Clinton turmoil

Jackson6612 — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:05:10 GMT

Memos show Clinton turmoil

Question: I would have written ''Clinton's turmoil''. Why didn't the author use apostrophe?

BY CRAIG GORDON AND TOM BRUNE | <email addresses removed by mod.>
August 13, 2008

Question: Why is semicolon used instead of comma to separate the email addresses above?

WASHINGTON - In a fresh postmortem (=an examination of a plan or event that failed, done to discover why it failed, =autopsy) on Hillary Rodham Clinton's presidential bid (=attempt to obtain or do something), newly published staff memos (=a short official note to another person in the same company or organization) and e-mails reveal a campaign hobbled (=to hobble something or someone means to make it more difficult for them to be successful or to achieve what they want) by internal rivalries (=a situation in which two or more people, teams, or companies are competing for something), faulty planning, bloated (=more than needed, =excessive) spending - and perhaps most important, Clinton's own failure to make the hard decisions.

Clinton offered herself to voters as a hyper-competent (=extra competent) executive ready to be president from day one. But atop (=on top of something) her own campaign, she was a hesitant leader, who allowed bitter infighting (=when members of the same group or organization argue, or compete with each other in an unfriendly way) to fester (=If an argument or bad feeling festers, it continues so that feelings of hate or dissatisfaction increase) among staffers over whether to go negative against Barack Obama, according to the Atlantic magazine.

The most bare-knuckled (=characterized by disorderly action and disregard for rules) lines of attack came from Clinton's chief strategist, Mark Penn, who urged Clinton to highlight Obama's "lack of American roots" due to his upbringing in Indonesia and Hawaii - saying he could only win if he faced Attila the Hun ((?406-453 AD) a king of the Huns (=an ancient people from Asia) who attacked and took control of large parts of the Roman Empire. He is famous for being violent and cruel).

But Clinton didn't embrace Penn's flag-waving (=the expression of strong national feelings, especially when these feelings seem too extreme) approach (=way of doing something), which campaign aides (=someone whose job is to help someone who has an important job, especially a politician) insist was never seriously considered.

Question: Clinton didn't embrace Penn's approach because she did not consider it seriously. Therefore, what campaign aides were saying is redundant.

The article also says that Clinton at times grew frustrated and short-tempered - including on the morning after her stunning third-place finish in Iowa in January, when aides on a call were silent. Clinton's camp dismissed the story as "inside-the-Beltway gossip" and "old news." And former campaign aides sharply disputed the notion of Clinton as an indecisive leader, with one campaign veteran saying, "Nobody seems to want to remember the fact that we had so many successes and come-from-behind victories in this campaign ... and they are due in large part to Senator Clinton's leadership."

Question: What does the line including on the morning...when aides on a call were silent mean? If she finished third place, then why would the author describe it as stunning? What does call mean in when aides on a call were silent?

Question: What does the phrase inside-the-Beltway gossip mean?

Question: What does the line Nobody seems to want to remember...to Senator Clinton's leadership'' mean?

But the e-mails and memos offer vivid (=very clear and detailed) new details about what had long been reported - that Clinton's headquarters was beset (=to make someone experience serious problems or dangers) by caustic (=bitter) internal battles involving Penn and former President Bill Clinton, who wanted to forcefully attack Obama, and others who wanted the New York senator to take a more positive tack (=method, =way of doing something). At one point, it was Bill Clinton - and not Hillary - who approved the famed 3 a.m. phone call ad.

Question: what had long been reported is passive past perfect tense. Am I right?

Question: I think headquarters should take plural verb. What do you say?

Question: Why are the hyphens used in -and not Hillary-? I believe commas would do instead?

Adding to the turmoil was the fact that the campaign had little strategy and no money left to seriously compete in the post-Super Tuesday contests - having (=the form having with a past participle can be used to introduce a clause in which you mention an action which had already happened before another action began) burned through $106 million before Iowa. That allowed Obama to win 12 straight contests and effectively wrap up (=to finish a job, meeting etc) the nomination.

Question: What does burned through mean?

In the end, the campaign's strategy came to reflect some of the internal turmoil, as Clinton veered (=changed course) from attacking Obama to emphasizing her personal side.

Question: What does her personal side mean?

Penn did offer some advice in March 2007 that proved on the mark - Clinton's path to victory lay with women and lower- and working-class voters.

Question: What does proved on the mark mean? I couldn't find it in the dictionary.

But by the time Clinton finally settled on that strategy to win the later primaries, it was too late.

Excerpts from the memos

"All of these articles about his boyhood in Indonesia and his life in Hawaii are geared towards showing his background is diverse, multicultural and putting that in a new light ... It also exposes a very strong weakness for him - his roots to basic American values and culture are at best (=even when considered in the most positive way) limited. I cannot imagine America electing a president during a time of war who is not at his center fundamentally American in his thinking and in his values." Strategist Mark Penn, from a March 19, 2007, memo to Hillary Rodham Clinton advising her to attack Barack Obama for his "lack of American roots."

Question: What does centre mean in the above context?

"The right knows Obama is unelectable except perhaps against Attila the Hun, and a third party would come in then anyway." Penn, from the same memo.

Question: Does right refer to right wing in the above context?

"This has been a very instructive call, talking to myself." Clinton, before angrily hanging up on a staff conference call the day after coming in third in Iowa in January. "She complained of being outmaneuvered (=to gain an advantage over someone by using cleverer or more skilful plans or methods) in Iowa and being painted as the establishment candidate," according to the Atlantic - but was met with near-silence.

Question: I would have written This has been..., talking to me. Why did she use myself?

Question: What is a conference call? Is it some kind of telephone call which address many poeple?

Question: Why is in used in coming in third?

"STOP IT!! I have help my tongue for weeks. After this morning's WP story, no longer. This makes me sick. This circular firing squad that is occurring is unattractive, unprofessional, unconscionable, and unacceptable ... It must stop." Robert Barnett, a Clinton lawyer and Washington insider, from a March 6, 2008, e-mail to campaign staff after a Washington Post story detailed the infighting.

Question: What does I have help my tongue for weeks mean?

Question: What does This circular firing squad mean?

Question: Were the comments in the last paragraph made by Robert Barnett?

Re: Sharpen the line?

Avangi — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 22:40:52 GMT

<<However[comma, not semicolon] if one still wants to sharpen the line >> I'm uncomfortable with "still" here.

There's no prior suggestion that anyone might have this wish. You seem to be making a case for blurring the line.

That done, you now offer an alternative approach for others - (without the "still," I recommend).

"Still" seems to be saying, "if I still haven't convinced all you people who wish to separate the tragic and comic aspects of the play, etc." Who/where are these people? - A.

Edit. If you had begun your paragraph by suggesting that there might be two approaches, or that most people would sharpen the line, then "still" would be in order.

Re: Is this a right use of a semicolon?

Avangi — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:35:27 GMT

To avoid embarrassment, is there some convenient way to tell when an issue has been resolved, in case one fails to notice the date?

P.S. Anon: You misspelled "louse" in your last paragraph.

Could you help me to proof this essay?

Cheese1987 — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 18:28:50 GMT

Analyse the formality of the article in SCMP

It is indispensable for us to use an appropriate style when writing. There is no doubt that formal style should be practiced for newspaper as objectivity and impersonality are important. South China Morning Post is one of the most prevalent newspapers in Hong Kong. It is believed that the language style of its article is formal. There is an analysis of the formality of a newspaper article in the SCMP.

High Formality can be revealed when looking at the articleâs choice of vocabulary. Instead of using âa lot ofâ or âlots ofâ, the writer used âthe number ofâ and âmanyâ. âjustâ is also replaced by âonlyâ. However, some informal words can also be found in the article. For instance, âjobâ and âgetâ are less formal words. In order to be formal, âpositionâ and âacquireâ should be used insteadâ. Somehow it is reasonable to use these less- formal words because these words are used in the conversation. In this article, two-word verbs and words from old English are not used. Therefore, It is clearly that SCMP has high formality.

Complete sentences, complex sentences and passive constructions should be used when writing in a formal English style. In this article, every sentence is written in complete sentences. Take the second paragraph as an example. â The study results, released by Oxfam yesterday, showed about one in eight workers made less than HK$5000 a month last year.â this sentence is completed. It is also a complicated sentence because it included complementary meaning. Passive construction is used in the paragraph. Hence, high formality of the article can be seen from its sentences and constructions.

The formality can also be shown by the use of transitional words, phrases and the use of punctuation. . Some of the words such as âmoreoverâ, âwhileâ, âdue toâ, âasâ are often used in a formal article. However, only âbutâ can be found in this article. Also, no semicolons are in it. Although there is only a few âformalâ words or punctuations used in the article, the âinformalâ punctuation such as dashes and parentheses are nowhere to be found too. From this point of view, it is believed that it is a semi-formal article.

Abbreviations and short forms are informal. To write a formal article, they should be avoided. Indeed, there are no abbreviations and short forms in this article. Hence, this article should not be treated as low formality. Instead, it should be seem as semi-formal or highly formal.

In conclusion, South China Morning Post is written in a formal style to a large extent. Its high formality can be shown when looking at its choice of vocabulary, sentence, construction, transitional words, phrases and the use of punctuation. Formal style should be used in the newspaper. SCMP does it well in this aspect it is a good newspaper and worth reading.

Re: Evaluative/Review Essay-Please help!

Castellano — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 00:46:23 GMT

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is a (truly is a hollow adjective here) superb reality show that first aired on December 3, 2003. Each 60 minute episode features a team of designers, contractors and several hundred workers who must race against time: (you could subsititute the colon with a semicolon or a hyphen if you want) they only have a week to rebuild a house, a task that would normally take 4 months to do. Each episode begins with host Ty Pennington's famous "Good morning!" wake-up call, when he, along with the other designers surprise the unsuspecting family that their home would be redesigned. The families then get to go on a seven day vacation until the renovation has completed. When the family returns from their vacation in a tinted limo, they see a bus blocking their view of their new home. Now, Ty and the family tell the bus driver to âmove that bus!" so the family can be amazed at the renovation. The show ends when Ty gives the keys to this lucky family.

(Start a new paragraph here because you are talking about something new.) Extreme Makeover: Home Edition a winner of two Emmy Awards as Best Reality Program (non-competitive), is entering its 4th season on ABC and is watched by millions. In its second season, it was one of the ten most popular shows on American television but it has become less popular now. The show is a by-product of Extreme Makeover; provides medical operations, weight loss programs and other beauty help to people who want to look better. Both programs are produced by Endemol USA, a division of Endemol Holding. (I am confused by the bold sentenecs. Are you trying to say that the Home Edition of Extreme Makeover also provides medical operations, weight loss programs, etc... ?)

The show has helped a rainbow of families, those who have financial problems, and those who have lost loved ones. (Could you possibly say from what these people have unfortunately died?) Evidently, families benefit enormously from this show. They have a new lease on life and are given that second chance that many of us are not fortunate enough to receive. (I don't think this is what you mean, perhaps you should write that their homes are now much more elegant, etc...) But are all problems solved after receiving such a gift? What would studies show post-Extreme Makeover: Home Edition? Are the creators of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition applying the golden rule or are they endorsing tax evasion?

Notes:

- Alert: you are introducing ideas and thoughts in your last paragraph. The last paragraph must merely restate your thesis and arguments, it must not introduce anything new, at all! You have some excellent arguments against the show, but you need to put the arguments in the beginning of your critical essay, not at the end. This I won't do for you, try it yourself!

- Your essay is quite informative; I wouldn't consider it technical. If you want your essay to flow more smoothly, proofread the sentences yourself and change accordingly. Make sure you write good sentences, which should reiterate information and should introduce new information to the reader. Further, don't introduce things too quickly or too abruptly, or you will wind up with choppy sentences.

Remember to come back if you need more proofreading and help! Very good start!

Re: proofreading#2

Castellano — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 22:39:22 GMT

Ever since its birth, this dog has been with Larry. Now, the dog was malodorous, old, crippled and blind, but Larry was always with it. (The adj. stinky is too colloquial to be employed in written English.) Larry's roommate, John, wanted to get rid of the dog because he was bothered by the smell. Even though the dog left the room, the smell would still remain in the room. One day, they sat opposite each other at the table, playing cards. John said that his friend's dog herded a lot of pups and that he wanted to get some of them; but Larry paid no attention about what he said.

-----

Couple of things:

- You need to connect your sentences. A good solid sentence will always remind the reader of something and introduce the reader TO something. Connect your sentences with commas, semicolons, hyphens, etc... Use adverbs too, like but, also, because, etc...

- Use spell check; it will pick up or flag spelling and grammatical errors.

Now, try to edit your second paragraph. If you still think you need help, write back!

-----

A bunk house stood somewhere in the plain. There was about eight beds in it. All labor men who worked in the barley farm lived there. The boss's daughter-in-law lived a miled away. People in the bunk house talked about her. She was a tramp who gave the eye to every one she saw.

Questioning some punctuation from a novel?

franco — Sun, 19 Mar 2006 02:57:32 GMT

Hi guys, I'm working on my punctuation and am reading a lot of books. I come across loads of examples where the punctuation does not make sense according to a punctuation book I have been reading. I wonder if I could just ask some questions about the paragraph below, which is from a Thomas Hardy book I'm reading, "A pair of blue eyes"?

"Nobody would have expected the sun to shine on such an evening as this. Yet it appeared, low down upon the sea. Not with its natural golden fringe, sweeping the furthest ends of the landscape, not with the strange glare of whiteness which it sometimes puts on as an alternative colour, but as a splotch of vermillion red on a leaden ground - a red face looking on with a drunk leer."

First of all wouldn't the second sentence be better with just a comma seperating it? As in "...such an evening as this, yet it appeared..." I see a lot of sentences like this where a comma could be used because the following sentence starts with the words "and, or, but, yet, or while" but the author instead uses a period (full stop) and then starts a new sentence with a word like "But".

Also, is it good punctuation where Hardy connects the above two sentences with a comma? "Not with its natural golden fringe, sweeping the furthest end of the landscape, not with the strange glare..."

Shouldn't that last comma instead be a semicolon?

I'd be interested to know if I am trying to look at the "rules" too much? Maybe punctuation has changed since the 19th century a bit, but I am still trying to get a feel for what is correct, and where there is room for indiviual style.

Re: The short paragraph needs your help.

Ikia — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 15:14:58 GMT

Here are a few suggestions.

First, change increased to increase. The company's increase by over 200 percent.

"Long- or short-term trend" might work better than your "only a sudden case."

Then you have a series of adverb clauses. I'd separate them with semicolons. It will be easier to read them, make them stand out, and one of the clauses already has a comma.

Something like this: If it is just a short-term supply and demand in market; if its (the company's) main competitor stopped manufacturing the same product last year, but now it resumes operation (stops and then resumes manufacturing the same product); or if economic experts predict the (that an) economic recession is imminent, then how (why) can the company take the risk of building new plant?

"The above any factor," I think, should be Any of the above factors may exacerbate the . . .

And finally, What is worse, (comparative worse, not superlative worst) they (referring to factors) might lead to the company's going bankrupt (or the company's bankruptcy). Decide whether you want the ajdective or the noun.

Ikia

Re: Can you please review my autobiographical essay?

Philologist — Thu, 12 Jan 2006 17:22:26 GMT

Hi!

You use both the British and the American spelling. Be consequent: use either the British one or the American one. I've used the British spelling for my corrections as that is what you used in the first paragraphs

Good luck! Judging from your essay, I would say that your chances to be admitted are substantial. You seem to be a very motivated person. I think your friends are not mistaken!

Cheers
Philologist

P.S. I've removed the flawless parts from this quote. That does not mean I think you should leave them out, of course! I just didn't want my post to become too long.

Rubisco wrote:

Inside, two words on a label grabbed my attention and sent chills down my spine: passed away.

on the numerous files of children that we had not been able to save.

Looking through them was akin to reading a story; with a beginning, and end as well as a progressing intrigue.INSERT SPACEAt that moment, as if I had experienced a revelation, I realised that medicine was the only path for me to follow, and that I should commit myself to direct all my endeavours towards the objective of (This seems unnecessary, particularly considering that you have transgressed the word limit) becoming a doctor. I had considered this idea since childhood, comma and my education was already geared towards the domain of life sciences that I deeply enjoy; however comma at that precise instant I knew for certain what my professional career should be.
Through my experiences in this hospital comma I have become well acquainted with the stressful, demanding but also rewarding world of health care. Being a relatively small hospital with a limited number of doctors, patients and staff I managed to develop close bonds with the hospital family. I have come to admire the doctors who, under difficult, even chaotic comma conditions successfully manage their duties while keeping their temper under total control. From keeping company to ill children I learned how to deal with heartbreaking situations; and most importantly how in many cases the patient is not the only person who should be taken care of; but that most of the time the family of the patient suffers as much as he does (and possibly more), and that the key to a successful treatment lies in a strong rapport between the patient, his family and the health care workers based on trust, honesty and understanding. In this hospital I experienced a first eye's view of the hardships of practising medicine. Through my interactions with a cousin who is now a successful surgeon in the United States I have become familiar with the personal difficulties a doctor encounters; specifically when establishing a family and fathering children. Furthermore, from my contacts with McGill medical students during open house events and with several of my close friends who have recently started medical school, I am aware of the demanding course loads and long sleepless nights involved in studying medecine. However, I have yet to meet a person who regrets taking this decision. I have no doubts that I will feel the same.

Second Section:

Born into a family of passionate pedagogues, I quickly learned the importance of working in a team and serving the community the hard way. As a child in the middle of the ruthless Lebanese war, this would concretise (Be constitent: use the British spelling OR the American one, though the British spelling is used in Canada) in our building's bomb shelter during the long days and nights of continuous shelling.
I still remember how I was the youngest volunteer at the Cote des Neiges Community Center (Center is American, but write its name as they do themselves) during the ice storm of 1997, while being an evacuee to the centre at the same time; which earned me the personal praises of then-mayor Bourque. Furthermore, my involvement with the Air Cadet movement during my early highschool years not only reinforced my dedication to community service comma but also allowed the development of strong leadership skills.
Now back in Canada, I take part during the academic year in the organisation of Concordia's Biology Students Association's events, even though I am not an official member. I participate as a staff member or on the organising comittee of social events such as orientation, movie nights and wine and cheese receptions remove semicolon in addition to attending regular meetings and influencing the decision-making process. In this association, the emphasis is on team work and proper distribution of tasks; both of which I am familiar with since my early days. At the same time, I strived hard to accomplish outstanding academic results, and a token of recognition of my good standings was the invitation to join the Golden Key Internation Honours Society Concordia Chapter this fall which I have accepted.

taking part in entertainment activities such as drawing, reading and music. Further, I also tutored teenage patients who were out of school or had trouble studying due to their treatments.

devoted friend who empathised with patients and their families during hard times.
This work took place during the months of July and August; and I reported to duty five days a week for a half-day shift. The first year I volunteered I was simultaneously studying by myself for the MCAT, and thankfully my good results on this exam testify for my ability to cope with demanding, overloaded schedules.

the doctor kindly apologised from the patient and told her a female doctor would come see her shortly.

As mentioned above, he should be peripatetic and urbane comma (no semicolon) especially in a city as multi-cultural as Montreal. Furthermore, he should be a moral beacon, a living model of humanism. A doctor should find inspiration in the works of great luminaries such as Voltaire, Rousseau or Kant whose passion and arguments for humanism have profoundly affected the way I view and interact with my fellow human beings."