Search results for 'tag:Sentence structures tag:Paragraphs' matching tags 'Sentence structures' and 'Paragraphs'

Re: Grammar Suggestion

Goodman — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:36:03 GMT

2. Today, in these natural colors (what are âthese colorsâ referring to?), coming through the opened window, adjusted over the high blue wall; I feel much relaxed -- light as fur, dark clould clouds of stress seems to be fading away.

3.An egg shaped wooden silver-brown frame hanged by a thick brown thread over the nail, waged at upper right wall (??) , quietly posturing the childhood golden days. ??

Hi Cute,

You are asking for suggests but I am not sure what I am about to suggest meets your criteria. If these two are the paragraphs you referred to, there is quite a bit of work to do.
I marked them up so that you can see. I am not sure what benefit it may yield for me to spend the next 30 minute to explain and revise the two âfragmented âparagraphs
which is what they are. #3 has too many adjectives and there seems to be no verbs to form a grammatical sentence. I think what you focus on strengthening your
ability to form sound sentence structures first. Without a solid sentence foundation, it will always be tough to write descriptively. I am sorry to sound discouraging
but this is the painful truth I canât sugar-coat for you.

Re: Sentence Structure Q

Thedynamix — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 17:18:48 GMT

Rather than a new topic, could someone please have a look and possibly optimise the following short paragraph:

Security enthusiasts define the three fundamental aspects of security as people, protocol and security/encryption. Providing all three of these aspects are continually evaluated and adhered to, the less chance there is of an attack. The recent incident whereby confidential social security details were shipped via courier to Government offices, but never received, clearly highlights the people and/or protocol aspects to be at fault.

I'm particularly wary of the end part..

Thank you as always EF!

(Unknown 22884)OHHH I FINALLY CAN POST!!!

Jen001 — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 01:51:40 GMT

"The Change of the Characteristics in the passage from The Hours"

The passage from the novel The Hours by Michael Cunningham is intriguing. The passage illustrates the difference between the character's characteristics in different time settings: past and present. This difference is clearly shown through the contrasting structure, imagery and language.

The structure reflects the division of the time setting and helps to contrast the different characteristics. The passage has two paragraphs, each describing the character's thoughts and perception about a same place, of the past and present. The length of each paragraph is different; the one from the past is much longer than the other one from the present. This can be related to each of the paragraph's sentence construction. In the first paragraph, about the past, the lengths of the sentences are very long. The first sentence takes eight lines, lengthened continuously within commas, semi-colons and colons. In fact, in one sentence, there are five commas, five semi-colons and a colon. This overly-continued sentence gives a sense of unfiltered, informal, and unrestricted flowing of thoughts. Moreover, the use of brackets, âsome sort of wood(cedar? Camphor?),â seems to be less sophisticated, compared to using dashes or other punctuations of the same function. However, in the second paragraph of the present, the sentence construction is shown contrastingly. The paragraph starts with a short simple sentence: âShe turns down Bleecker, goes up Thomson.â Also, in this paragraph, there are four sentences in six lines, and three of the four sentences are written in simple sentence, including the example above. Although there are a few commas in some of the sentences, there is no semi-colon, but only a colon in the last sentence. The colon is used in a very appropriate way, functioning to introduce the list of âthingsâ, such as âjewelryâ and âjackets.â Thus, within the brief and concise sentence construction, the character in the present appears to be more mature, filtered and sophisticated than in the past. However, as a result of that, the sense of youthful, unfiltered freedom cannot be found anymore in the present.

In addition to the structure, the contrasting imagery of each paragraph demonstrates further differences of the characteristic in the past and present. As both paragraphs are of the same setting, the image of the same place is described at each time. So, the consistent place makes the comparison between the two more distinctive and reliable. The imagery of the place is very vivid in the past, not only within the visual sense, but also within the auditory and olfactory senses, whereas that of the past only relies on the sense of sight. For example, in the past, âthe neighborhoodâ is depicted as âthe center of something new and wildâ in âthe city where the sound of guitars drifted all nightâ and âwhere the stores â¦ smelled the way â¦ Arab bazaars must smell.â This is detail, imaginative and lively, even the âArab bazaarsâ creates a somewhat mystical and adventurous atmosphere. This interesting and passionate depiction is being minimized in the present into three words: an âimitation of itself.â It is now âa watered-down carnival for tourists,â which gives a sense of inactivity and boredom. Also, the stores now âall sell essentially the same things,â such as âsouvenir T-shirts.â This seems to be dull, with no excitement or creativity or passion. This changed imagery, depicted by the character, rather shows the change in the character's perception. The change in perception is demonstrated more clearly within the notion of the âdoorâ and âalley.â In the past, she says, âif you passed through the wrong door or down the wrong alley you would meet a fate,â however, in the present, she âknows that behind these doors, and down these alleys lies nothing more or less than people living their lives.â In the past, she seems to be more concerned with the 'inner' world of thought or imagination. Whereas in the present, she seems to be more grounded in the external world of physical reality. As like the previously discussed change in the sentence structure, she is now more sophisticated, knowledgeable and realistic than the past. Also, as like the image of the place, her perception changed from the creative, interesting and adventurous to the boring, predictable and filtered way. Thus, the contrasting imagery of the past and present reflects the similar change in the character's perception.

While the structure and the imagery convey the distinctive change in the characteristics of the character, the contrasting use of language supports those differences. More specifically, the diction [dash]shown in the past and the present[dash] is comparable. Reflecting the imagery of the varied senses, the words and expressions used in the past are also varied and animated, such as âincense and richâ and âdung-y dustâ describing the smell of the stores. These two expressions, âincense and richâ and âdung-y dustâ are contrasting; they express the diversity of the object. Moreover, the speaker creates a non-existing adjective, âdung-y.â The extra adding of â-yâ grants a more animated image, and it gives a sense of freedom and even somewhat childishness. The âsmellâ is then described as âsomething fruitily, fertilely rotting.â Again, she creates a non-existing adverb, âfruitily,â expressing the scent rather vividly, which would be sour as it ârots.â The other adverb âfertilelyâ contributes to create a sense of abundance and richness of the imagery. However, the use of those two positive adverbs, modifying the negative verb ârottingâ seems to be oxymoron in âfruit[full]â or âfertile,â as well as the use of adjective âdisreputable,â following ânew and wild.â The oxymoron adds an unpredictable sense to the imagery and hence to the depicter's thoughts. On the other hand, in the present, the adjectives used to describe the âcityâ and the âstores,â are ânothing,â âless,â âsame,â and âstill.â All of them are negative and reflect the boredom, dullness and hopelessness. More significantly, the speaker uses the adverb, âGrotesquelyâ before describing how âthe same bars and coffeehouses are still [th]ereâ, showing the character's cynical characteristic. So does the use of the adjective âcheapâ for the goods at the stores. Thus, in the past, the character uses language interestingly [dash] it is diverse, lively and creative [dash] whereas that of the past is inactive, hopeless and cynical. These differences are directly reflecting the character's contrasting, changed characteristic.

The change of the characteristic seems to be abrupt. As a cause, something would have happened to her, that is not shown in the passage. However, an assumption can be drawn within the evidences from the passage. There is a shift in the first paragraph within âHere,â showing the shifted tense from the past to the past perfect. In the past perfect, there is a scene of Clarissa, the major character, and her boyfriend Richard. She seems to appreciate Richard a lot, for example, she does not use the pronoun 'he' for âRichard,â even though he is the only male character. So, in a sentence, Richard is successively repeated three times, âwith Richard, when Richard â¦ when Richard.â Moreover, she describes his appearance in detail; he âwas nineteen,â âa firm-featured, hard-eyed, not-quite-beautiful dark-haired boy with an impossibly long and graceful, very pale neck.â So, to describe Richard, she combines an adjective and a noun to create a single adjective, such as âhard-eyed.â This shows her seriousness about describing him precisely. His âimpossibly longâ and âvery paleâ neck would seem negative, if not for the complementary adjective âgraceful.â Also, the adverb âimpossiblyâ gives a sense of special and unusual feeling for the person. Besides the use of language, the use of punctuation should also be noted. There are many commas, causing the sentences to seem choppy. This would be imitating the feeling of uncertainty and the tension in the situation. The uncertainty of the situation is shown in the line, ââ¦about what? A kiss? Had Richard kissed her, or had she, Clarissaâ¦,â also the tension created as they âhad certainly argued.â Then, the reason for the âargu[ment]â is explained: âClarissa wanted her freedom and Richard wanted, well, too much.â It is notable that as Richard âwanted â¦ too muchâ relating to the âkiss,â the pronoun 'he' is used as âdidn't he always?â In this case, however, the pronoun 'he' seems to more likely indicate every 'man', rather than particularly âRichard.â Thereafter the paragraph ends, and the paragraph of the present starts. It is not sure whether the abrupt change in Clarissa's characteristic is due to âRichardâ or not. Although it is not, it is evident that Clarissa once considered and cared about him quite specially.

Despite of the uncertain reason, the change in the Clarissa's characteristic from the past to the present is shown clearly throughout the contrasting structure, imagery and language. The characteristic includes the thoughts and perception, which were unrestricted, unfiltered, creative and animated in the past; whereas in the present, they are shown restricted, filtered, dull and inactive. The change is extreme, but no particular evidence for the extremity is being suggested, except the short scene with Richard. Thus, this passage not only introduces the setting and the character, but also evokes the reader's curiosity: What has happened to Clarissa?

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I really really really appreciate for your help... Thank you..!

Re: Gould's Book of Fish

Bubblebath — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 21:51:19 GMT

This is the direct continuation of the quote I posted above.

What was it about that gentle radiance that would come to make me think I had lived the same life over and over, like some Hindu mystic forever trapped in the Great Wheal?that was to become my fate?that stole my character?that rendered my past and my future one and indivisble?

Q1)What does the "come to" mean in this sentence?

Q2)I cannot grasp the sentence structure of the paragraph. What does the "it" denotes? And making the interrogative sentence into a declarative sentence, "It was (what) about that gentle radiance that would come to..."?

Q3)What is the subject of the lines following the blue "that"s?

Thank you in advance.

Re: Can anyone help me to proof it~? thanks

julielai — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 03:04:34 GMT

Highlighted some errors for you.

Cheese1987 wrote:

1.To find out the mindset of the Striking construction workers at different period.

2.To understand tone (explain) and persuasive elements

3.To practice reading strategies such as identifying the genres, paragraph and sentence structure, and inferring unknown vocabulary.

The material is extracted from South China Morning Post. This article described the different feeling of the striking construction workers for their twice shedding of tears. The first sob was because (awkward) they felt they lost support from members of the public after causing trouble in Central. However, it was with tears of joy in second time since different organization showed their support and even raised funds for them.

1.This context of the news was not familiar to me. I seldom heard about strike in my daily life.

2.The sentence structure was so complex that I could not thoroughly understand the meaning of (what),

3.Some words were unknown. For example, the headline âStrain of epic tussle reduces hardened iron man to tearsâ ~~was~~ quite puzzled me.

strategies

1.Reviewing key information helped me solve the above problems. By brief reviewing a text, my comprehension of the news story was greatly improved.

2.Asking people to teach me was one of my strategies to help solve the problem when I could not get the idea of the text after inferring and looking up ___ dictionary. It was a useful way for me to totally understand the meaning of the passage.

3.Inferring unknown vocabulary was one of the strategies that help me comprehend the news. In general, it was efficient for me to deal with the unknown words, although few words were still needed to look words up in a dictionary.

Can anyone help me to proof it~? thanks

Cheese1987 — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 20:07:17 GMT

Can anyone help me to proof the following sentences. Thanks

Aims

1.To find out the mindset of the Striking construction workers at different period.

2.To understand tone and persuasive elements

3.To practice reading strategies such as identifying the genres, paragraph and sentence structure, and inferring unknown vocabulary.

Content

The material is extracted from South China Morning Post. This article described the different feeling of the striking construction workers for their twice shedding of tears. The first sob was because they felt they lost support from members of the public after causing trouble in Central. However, it was with tears of joy in second time since different organization showed their support and even raised funds for them.

Problems

1.This context of the news was not familiar to me. I seldom heard about strike in my daily life.

2.The sentence structure was complex that I could not thoroughly understand the meaning,

3.Some words were unknown. For example, the headline âStrain of epic tussle reduces hardened iron man to tearsâ was quite puzzled me.

strategies

1.Reviewing key information helped me solve the above problems. By brief reviewing a text, my comprehension of the news was greatly improved.

2.Asking people teach me was one of my strategies to help solve the problem when I could not get the idea of the text after inferring and looking up dictionary. It was a useful way for me to totally understand the meaning of the passage.

3.Inferring unknown vocabulary was one of the strategies that help me comprehend the news. In general, it was efficient for me to deal with the unknown words, although few words were still needed to look up in a dictionary.

Re: hello

Samarnh_p — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 05:15:04 GMT

Writing is a tough job, but once you like it you never fail to success. There are bunches of good web addresses that may guide you to be an excellent writer or composer. You can make things alive, so you also can make it good and shiny. I recommend that each time you've done with your writing whether just a word, a sentence, a paragraph, or an essay, it's your responsibility to revise it again and again until you feel enough. Surely, no one can make a perfect paper, unless it's polished and critized. Always be ware with unity, style, sentence structure, spelling, and word choices. Writing is formal; thus, slangs or idioms are not included.

Good luck with your study Littl...

Re: Is this paragraph OK?

Mister Micawber — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 01:10:48 GMT

I have tried to simplify it a bit, Egyptian; if your readers have to wade through a labyrinth of sentence structure, they won't bother to pay attention.

Equally important is the cultural factor and how it impacts on participantsâ perceptions. Consistent with participantsâ belief regarding length of service as a qualification for teachers to take part in decision-making, school board members expect that they will be treated as professionals. Senior members of staff, who have been in service for many years, believe that they deserve to be allowed to put their impression on the decision-making process and genuinely influence the decisions.

Re: Motivation letter

nona the brit — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 09:48:09 GMT

Hi, nice letter overall, you've stated your case very well. I've made corrections for you highlighted in blue, and added comments and highlighted in pink other problem areas you need to re-write or clarify.

Dear Mr. -----,

I graduated from Kiev National University of Construction and Architecture in 2004 and I obtained a master degree in Architecture of Buildings and Structures. As my thesis was of high quality, I was invited to take a PhD by the exam commission. I started my PhD on September 2004 with a 3 year contract, also at Kiev University.

For various reasons I left my PhD studies and moved to the Netherlands in August 2005. Thinking of continuing my studies, I learnt about DTI before coming to the Netherlands and started my correspondence through email. I understand that according to the rules in the Netherlands, I have to follow a Dutch language course for 1.5 years before I can begin my studies, and I will be completing my course by the end of March 2007. Meanwhile, I have gathered new information and brochures through the internet and TUDelft. By getting to know more about DTI, I understood that for several reasons this is the best study and opportunity for me. One strong reason is the duration of the study, as a PhD is at least 4 years, and I am already 1.5 years away (note: either the March 2007 date is incorrect or this statement. March 2007 is only 3 months away from now). from higher education. I am not sure if I would even find a PhD research which I am interested in. Another reason is that I am a newcomer to the Netherlands Architecture market and I have to learn much about the methods, styles and standards which are used in the companies here . As DTI is a combination of studying and working together, it would be easier for me to get to this market. One more important reason is my foreign diploma, which is going to be not trusted automatically here and than investigated by every company I apply to work for. But by getting DTI diploma, I will be a graduate of a high level recognised university with a registered title in the Netherlands.

Obtaining the ability to improve and renovate the architectural design processes seems to be necessary as the design and building industry are now mostly facing old practical but not scientifically methods. Todayâs fast developments in architecture and structures must meet the new concepts to manage different parts of the design process. DTI offers the knowledge to solve the management problems to improve the process design and making more effective and better quality of the projects. (This whole paragraph needs re-writing. The first sentence is rather unpenetrable; I do not really understand it. Try to simplify your sentence structures and work on the punctuation. Did you write this? It doesn't seem to match the rest of your letter's style.)

The information I got at the DTI information day was enough to persuade me and make me think that with DTI I will be sure of my future career and that I should diversify my professional education. Certainly this science (science?not sure this is right word here) presents a stronger possibility of finding a higher level position in design process worldwide. I am very motivated by complex and greater architectural projects (what I was busy with from the first day I started to work as an architect. - this section is not clear in meaning and needs re-phrasing. Are you saying that you were working on complex projects from day one? Or that you want to work on more complex projects?) DTI will teach me not only how these complexities are arranged in different phases, but how to manage them as well. I believe that management and finding solutions is more important than being busy with only one phase of a design process as an architect. On the other hand, gaining the required additional knowledge in technological management as well as in architecture, building and planning, makes DTI a unique and unusual course to further develop my education and career.

I hope I can make a good progress with the vitality and the energetic style what I find in myself about DTI now. After talking with a few students from DTI, I am even more interested in starting this course, as I understand about the very friendly and light atmosphere inside the faculty and between colleagues. I would welcome a personal interview to further discuss this opportunity. I thank you in advance for your kind attention to my letter and I hope to meet you in the near future.

Re: A cover letter for a job application..

Clive — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 05:17:46 GMT

Hi,

Below is the template of cover letter for job applications. Let me know if it sounds right to you. Correct any grammar errors and sentence structure.

I'm very interested in this position and please find attached resume for my working history. Also I am a very detail oriented individual with a passion for challenges. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions and I look forward to hearing from you.

If you'll permit me, I'd like to add a comment about politeness. Ways of expressing politeness in words vary between cultures. Perhaps what you wrote would be polite in your culture. However, it doesn't seem polite in mine.

In your first paragraph, it sounds like you are giving orders to us on the Forum. You need to say 'Please let me know . . . Please correct . . . '

In your second paragraph, the words 'Feel free to contact me if you have any questions . . .' make it sound like you are doing the reader a favour. It sounds rather arrogant, and I'm sure that is not your intention. You need to say 'Please feel free to . . .' or to use some other expression of politeness.

Best wishes, Clive