Search results for 'tag:Sentence structures tag:Universities' matching tags 'Sentence structures' and 'Universities'

Re: URGENT ATTENTION BOSS: WOULD YOU PLS COMMENT ON 'MY MOTIVATION LETTER'

Mister Micawber — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 10:09:39 GMT

I have struck out unnecessary or inappropriate verbiage, made some corrections (in bold). You may also have to fix the sentence structure to correct for my deletions.

February 2, 2008

Director of the Program
Department of ABC
University of ABC

Dear Dr Smith:

I am writing to apply for the Masterâs Programme in ***.

I am confident that the programme corresponds well with my plans of becoming a specialist in marketing field. It is my dream and desire to be admitted in *** and pursue my *** studies in the field of Marketing.

My educational background is in the principles and practices of ~~the~~ marketing ~~field~~. I ~~have successfully~~ completed a three-year BBA (Hons)-IT program in 2004. My studies have guided me through systematic researching, analytical thinking, management of resources and information evaluation. I continued my studies and completed an MBA with specialization in marketing ~~field~~ in December 2005. Marketing Management, Advertising, Sales Management, Services Marketing, Business Strategy and Leadership were among my favourite subjects of the MBA program.

I love to play computer strategic games, Chess game I mostly play with my compute which I never won, Graphics, Animations, Web Designing, Reading something interesting online, cooking, outing, meeting just everyone in a group and selecting good people as my close friends are my hobbies. I feel no shame in meeting new people, talking them, and playing jokes.

After my studies, I plan to start my career at an international level, In June 2006, I was employed as an Operations Supervisor for a large retailing firm in Saudi Arabia. This was a valuable experience in supermarket management, with thousands of products and stiff competition ~~among different brands and huge variety of products~~. ~~Such an experience I was unable to get in my country.~~

During this contract, I have been analysing the top five brands of various product categories. For example, in the 'fresh milk & juices' category in Saudi Arabia, the key brands are Almarai, Nadec, Nada, and Safi. I have compiled weekly/monthly sales figures and attempted to determine why Almarai is the top seller. It appears that Alamarai management focuses on high quality product, packaging design, promotion (renting 60% of the category shelf space), advertising, efficient daily delivery, and a huge network of branches throughout Saudi Arabia.

My two-year contract ~~of two years is going to~~ will soon expire and I have now ~~already~~ been offered a Store Manager position ~~for next contract~~, but I have a strong ambition ~~in myself to further study~~ to become a marketing specialist, and I cannot become a specialist without having a full understanding of a specific marketing field ~~in Marketing~~.

Education from *** is affordable for me as compared to other *** countries. *** is a good safer place for other nations. *** is in between the best universities in *** and secondly ***University has a course offer (***) which relates to my goals. Thatâs why it is number one in my selection criteria.

Obtaining a one-year master's degree from *** means becoming a specialist (or a step towards it). ~~I can put a high price for my services. I will achieve my first objective of âFinancial Growthâ I will be differentiated from my competitors by having Masters from *** University.~~ I have already met people from many nations in Saudi Arabia, and I will further learn from others while living in a new culture. I will make new friends from Europe, will learn their life style, achieving my ~~second~~ objective of personal growth, and when I ~~will~~ complete my master's degree I will ~~already~~ achieve my ~~third~~ objective of professional growth. The programme will equip me with the necessary skills to continue to acquire new knowledge and understanding throughout my entire working life.

I hope that the combination of my past experiences and academic education will qualify me as a University of *** master's programme candidate.

Re: Is it really possible to learn English on the Internet??

Elfsleepy — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 15:51:58 GMT

Wow, that's an old post.
It is possible.
Here in China, the education below university level are all examination oriented, the system makes perfect teachers for teaching the basic things like grammer, sentence structure. Most of these education do no good for practical use of the language. And I feel that the 'possiblility' you mean is the possibility for improving the speaking and listening parts. You also from China?
Once I graduated from school and had my first job I found out this truth, my beautiful school record made out dumb English speaker, then I started using internet to learn most of the oral and writing like sitting here posting reply.
Got a good language exchange partner is good, I used to have one who willing to talk to me everyday and that helped a lot, even if it was only by typing. But it really took me a long time to find one, lol.
I am now at the start of my Japanese learning, I am also trying to find someone can talk to me in Japanese online like I did before in English.

But anyway, I have thankfulness for the WWW that helped me to raise my English to this level. I could make no one sentence when I frist came out of school.
I can say that internet is the cheapest way to practise oral language which is open to all persevering learners. Not everybody has the financial condition for them to choose to go abroad to talk to the native guys. But internet to some extent give us this sort of environment, and it is for free!

Oops, a bit gossip...Cheers! ^0^

Re: My essay for the topic "Why people go to university or college". Pls check.

Kyn — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 16:43:56 GMT

Actually I just want you to correct the grammar, sentence structures and check if the sentences sound OK. If a sentence is awkward, please suggest a better one.

Please help me very urgetly. I have only 3 hrs left to submit it.

Hungry — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 01:08:14 GMT

Hi,
I am applying for BBA-Finance in a university. They have asked me to write an essay on why I want to pursue the program. I've written it, but I feel that it doesn't sparkle. I am not sure if grammar, sentence structure, flow, punctuation, mood and tense are presented in a manner that makes sense. Could you please please go through the essay for inconsistencies, and make sure that the flow of readablity is correct, and the style is consistent???

Your help in this matter will be highly appreciated.

Here's the essay.

Why I want to pursue BBA in finance.

Thereâs an old saying in English;

One must know which side his bread is buttered.

Itâs been my habit that before getting involved with any job I ask myself two questions: What sort of person am I? and What sort of job would I be happy in? I am lucky to be born with a business mind, although I donât have a huge family background in this field. Since my days in elementary school, I have been interested in doing BBA in finance. If someone asks me why I want to pursue BBA in finance, I would like to say that I want to be a financial planner and analyst.

Iâve always assisted my mother with the analysis of home budget and managing household outlays. Through my own academic experience, I started to be aware of the professional goal in financial planning and analysis. Specifically, I would like to be a financial manager who is working for an international organization. I would focus on corporate financial management and the investment decision-making process. In addition, I am interested in accounting and taxation, since Iâve been convinced of their benefits in finance. My academic experience and interest would compel me to be a financial planner and analyst. Particularly, I expect that I can develop myself to be a professional financial manager. To reach the professional goals, I know I will have to bend over backwards to gain short-term objectives such as taking a deep understanding of financial theory, planning and analysis and improving my ability to think more strategically.

In the end, I feel that if the take up a course in finance, I will have lots of opportunities coming my way offering a bright career.

************************************************** *******************************

Re: which expression is better?

Clive — Wed, 30 May 2007 05:13:34 GMT

Hi,

[3] According to recent survey, more than two times as many universities change tuition and fees of under $8000 a year as over $16000.
Thank you for your reply. But why you think [3] is wrong? The "charge" is used as the verb in "universities charge tuition and fees of". I think it is redundant to repeat "charge" after "as". Why I cannot remove it?

The really long form of the sentence would be More than twice as many universities charge tuition and fees of under $8000 a year as (implied subject: 'universities') charge (object: tuition and fees of) over $16000.
You are already omitting from the second part both the subject and the object. In my opinion, if you also omit the verb then you are omitting so much that the meaning starts to get difficult for the reader to see.

I think "under $8000" and "over $16000" are already parallel. Why I still need to keep the verb?

For example, in following sentence
This company pays at least twice as much to full-time employees as it pays to part-time employees .
It seems Ok to say:
This company pays at least twice as much to full-time employees as to part-time emplyees. Yes, this sounds fine. But it seems like a simpler sentence structure than your sentence #3 above. I find I have to think more to see the meaning in #3. Don't forget that the writer of the sentence knows his own meaning, but the reader always has to look for the meaning. Ease of understanding is an important factor.

Best wishes, Clive

Re: help me to correct this sentences

Clive — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:22:27 GMT

Hi,

Welcome to the Forum.

In some cases, your meaning was not clear to me. You need quite a few changes here. If you have any questions about these, please write again.

Best wishes, Clive

2.In the book Mommy Myth by Susan Douglas, who is a professor at the University of Michigan, and Meredith Michaels, who teaches philosophy at Smith College, they label the phenomenon as the New Momism (507).

3.The reason for bringing the book into this article is to have the audience realize not only that the writer herself is raising the idea in public, but also that other people, such as the author in this case, are also concerned about this issue.
4.By using a well known and famous company such as PWC, the audience then will realize that the stage of this problem not only effects the woman herself but also the company where those women work.

5.Most of the data presented here compares women's changes in the past and the present regarding their careers and jobs.

help me to correct this sentences

EquinoX — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 06:36:42 GMT

Please help me to correct these sentences without modifying the sentence structure at all. I know some sentences are messep up, but just help with the grammar and punctuation. Youe help would be really appreciated.

1.By providing an almost complete story about a carrier womenâs life at the morning until she work gives the reader a picture of how womenâs now are sacrificing their job in order to raise theyâre children back as theyâre supposed to.
2.In the book Mommy Myth by Susan Douglas, which is a professor at the University of Michigan and Meredith Michaels, who teaches philosophy at Smith College, they label the phenomenon as the New Momism (507).
3.The rhetoric part of bringing the book into this article is to have the audience realize that not only the writer it self is bringing up this idea into the society but also other people, such as book writerâs in this case are also concern about this issue.
4.By using a well known and famous company such as PWC, the audience then will realize about the stage of this problem does not only effect the woman itself but it also affects the company where those womenâs work for.
5.Most of the data presented here shows comparison on the changes of woman in the past and the present regarding to their career and jobs.

My teacher suggest that I change some words related to pronouns, possesives, and single plural shift. Thanks.

Re: "have completed" v "had completed"

Goodman — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 23:27:24 GMT

Being away for 3 weeks, I am back on forum again. This is my 2 cents. I think different readers have different inputs, and one may prefer certain sentence structure over the other. To me, I would write it this way:

"Iâve just recently graduated from the RMIT University with a Master degree in Professional Accounting where I had competed my studies on accounting and taxation.

"For my communication skills, I believe I have very good commands because I had successfully completed a few communication (courses) subjects with emphasis on both written and oral communication".

We donât need to repeat âcommunicationâ in the above sentence. Doing so will sound redundant. Also on a side note, completing a course does not equate to being successful in mastering that skill.

Need help with grammar and flow

Anonymous — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 20:42:13 GMT

Hi I am applying to a Clinical Psychology program and here is my essay. Can you tell what you think and give any suggestions especially with grammar and sentence structure. They want me to state my reasons for seeking admittance to the program at this point in my life; my scholarly and professional interests and goals and link them with the components of the program.

Thanks

I experienced almost five years in the work force before I began my pursuit of graduate education. Consequently, I know the frustration of frivolous effort, lack of career direction, job dissatisfaction. I also know the triumph of continuously learning myself, not becoming complacent, and holding on to the desire to help others.

I believe I possess particular strengths that will contribute to my success your graduate program at Fielding. Because of my varied work experience, I am able to offer strength and diversity to your program. I view these years as invaluable, as they have shaped my motives, compelled me to appreciate the need for goal orientation, and allowed me to experience the triumphs and frustrations of the "real" world. I have continued to hold on to my strong sense of purpose. Also, being a disciplined person, I have developed very useful time management skills to handle a busy course load. This dedication and self control will greatly benefit me during my graduate work at Fielding University since it encompasses the distance learning approach. At this point in my life, I have the support of my husband and I am able to pursue my graduate education on a full-time basis. I want to fully emerge myself in the program and use extra time to volunteer in clinical settings and further my research experience. I have had time to mature, enroll in a variety of courses to find my niche and time to evaluate why Iâve made past mistakes and how to approach situations differently. I am so appreciative that I waited and gave myself the opportunity to develop. I have since been able to truly experience adulthood and embrace the concept of career choice being something more in depth than choosing a major or salary potential. My approach and desire to study the field of Clinical Psychology is much more well-rounded and realistic to challenges and achievements that I am prepared to face during this journey through graduate school.

I intend to continue my education by pursuing a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. I am most interested in working with obesity and eating disorder populations. I would like to research the psychological motivations behind persons eating habits and the role self-esteem and body image plays in connection with those eating habits. Obesity and health related issues are increasingly becoming tied to the field of psychology. I also have interests in working with patients coping with diseases such as AIDS and cancer. I am awaiting responses from letters I submitted to local professors with similar interests, hoping to have the opportunity to volunteer and contribute to their research initiatives. I plan to dedicate my career to raising the awareness of these issues through research, private practice/consultation and eventually teaching at the university level. It is my intention to contribute empirically-based findings to the clinical psychology field through my research. I feel that Fielding Graduate University could offer me a solid education and help me to meet my goals by providing a quality atmosphere in which to learn. I love the fact that Fielding centers its mission around the mid-career, adult learner because this will help aid feelings of intimidation when returning to higher education after being away a number of years. I also appreciate the numerous resources available for students, especially since it is a distance learning program there is still one-on-one assistance available. I am interested in the health psychology concentration and the research done by faculty members at Fielding. Among these are Dr. April Fallon and her assessments and research on eating disorders, Dr. Leann Stadtlander and how adult patients and family members cope with cancer, along with numerous professors trained in research design and implementation. I feel that Fieldingâs scholar-practitioner approach fits my goals since I want to be a practicing clinician, teach and conduct scholarly research. I feel that I can bring enthusiasm, maturity and individuality to your program as a result of my diversified experiences and my desire to excel in the clinical psychology field.

Re: sentence structure/grammar check needed

nona the brit — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 17:40:19 GMT

Hello,
My name is David and I am one of your engineering applicants. It has come to my attention that quite a few universities take off a couple of percentage points from a student's average if that student retakes a course. I need to know if you have the same policy. Thanks in advance.