Search results for 'tag:TOEFL tag:Paragraphs' matching tags 'TOEFL' and 'Paragraphs'

Re: Kanzy (Reading comprehension, CPE)

PrinnySquad — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 16:13:20 GMT

5 out of 5.
This paragraph and its questions are on the same difficulty level with a typical TOEFL test's reading one.

Re: who can teach me english?i need a native speaker, you'd better be intreseted in sport!ha

Goodman — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:50:30 GMT

wxn8822,

TOEFL is too big a subject to be covered all at once. You need to cut down your TOEFL questions to manageable bites size so that we can help.
Every ESL learner wants to improve and learn as quickly as possible. But everyone has to establish a starting point. If you like, you can e-mail me, perhaps
with a short paragraph about yourself so that I can assess your English. From what I can see thus far, you need to pay attention to Capitalization,
stay away from suing "lazy English", puncutation and "space" after comma etc.

Re: My essay for the topic "Why people go to university or college". Pls check.

EBblack — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 10:56:52 GMT

After people finishing their high shcool, they faces two ways generally. One is going to higher education; Another is working. Many factors affect people's choosing, such as econimic ability, interests and his/ her attitude towards higher education and work. I think people go to college or university for higher level education and experiences.

I give an example of my style above. In my opinion, sentences should be direct. Short subject can achieve this. Maybe you should consider to revise each topic sentence of the two following paragraphs.

"Different people will have different choices of their own" is somewhat a cliche, you can make it more specific.

I'm preparing TOEFL as well. If you want to find someone to exchange experience on TOEFL writing, contact me.

Re: TOEFL Test - Essay question

Anonymous — Sat, 29 Oct 2005 12:37:50 GMT

toefl essays look for just fluent english and that's about all i think.

make her start with brain storming, outlining.

like I. intro

george washington was brave enough to the british.

II. body

he fought battles with 1/100 of the redcoats and won.

III. conclusion...

when you make an outline, you don't have to think, you just write.

and 3 sentence a paragraph? that's too short...

well basic essay is two chunks? TS CD CM CM CD CM CM CS

but 1 chuck will be fine. Topic Sentence, Concrete Detail, Commentary, Commentary, Conclusion.

complaints

Anonymous — Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:32:03 GMT

Hi, I am a student planning to take TOEFL test, can somebody please check the grammar and structure of this paragraph, this paragraph about complaints.

Can you please read this sentence and help me make it more clear and natural? Thanks friend

I would like to thank you for your support during my first month in this community, firstly I am really sorry that I give my sharing in this letter, because Itâs not easy for me to share and talk about my life in English. Anyway, after I passed my first month, I made a âconsiderius statusâ (latin) about my live. In my considerius status, I look back on my spiritual life, community life, and about study life. I look which one getting settled and I look which one decrease or stagnant.

I am really happy and I can enjoy living with my new community and even we didnât know each others before, we come from different country and different language and back ground, but I could fell a friendly and nice community. Iâm also would like to thanks to my community for their friendship and hope I can keep on making friendship in community. But in my considerius status, I found there was some problem with my study life, especially in English class with my teacher. I donât know where I have to start with my sharing, but for me I really could not enjoy my class with my teacher. I felt a strain situation in my class. Something that make me not comfortable and itâs disturb me when she gave me corrections, but some how the corrections looks like push me on the corner and I really felt pressed with that way. One day, she told us to being honest; to told her if there were a problems or something like that; so the class will livelier and more corporative. So, we (the three of us) tried to make the class more livelier with jokes or something like that, but she didnât accept, I tried to make an active class; speaking or asking, but one day, she didnât directly said that Iâm talk active, but she asked who the three of you more talk active, otherwise, she pointed to me, but really my intension just to make the situation in the class more active with asking. And when I asked for something, she taught that I was testing her, but really I just want to get more explanation. Based on that experience, I tried to be quiet and tried to listen, but some how, she didnât like it. I began to give my reaction, like ; I didnât give my attention in her class, maybe my face showed that I felt bored and I canât concentrate in all lessons. There is some space that I canât accept her in class. And she also gave the reaction to me, and the ways she talks to me sometimes make me uncomfortable. I became stagnant in the class

Every day I am always think about this problem, I could not study, what I shall to do, because I felt itâs very different with the other English class. In that class, even there many mistakes, we felt ok when the teacher gave some corrections, sometimes we can laughed together with our mistakes. I realize that I have a good opportunity to study English in Manila, so I should not waste my time. What will my parents say if when I go back to my country, then I donât have anything in English? Because with her class sometimes I felt that I waste my time, because really what she said on the lessons, there is nothing stayed in my mind. I just came, sat and listened, but my mind and my attention were not in the class. The resistant become grew up to this class.

One day after the class finished, she asked me to take a time to talk together and we share together about this problem, I donât know, but I thing, she want to said that Iâm made mistake and made her hurt. Hurt? (When I made some joke with my friends she thought that I teased her, reallyâ¦really I didnât have intension to tease her, I just played). At that time we talked a lot about our class. I told her that there was misunderstood and I said to her Iâm very sorry if made her hurt. I have never experienced like this class. I had many strict teachers before, but itâs different. I didnât worry again because I had verified about the problem to her.

When Iâm thinking about next class with her, could I give my best after all of these? I didnât hate her but I just not agree with her style in teaching. Rejecting? Maybe, Iâm trying to being honest. I also felt very sorry to the two of my friends; I donât want to disturb them with this problem. I didnât know what I have to do; I hope you can help me to solve this problem, I so sorry that I disturb you with this problem, thank you.

Regards,

Atans

TOEFL Test - Essay question

Brooke123 — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 04:50:24 GMT

Hello!

I'm working with a woman who is getting ready for her TOEFL exam. On the whole, her essays are very good and she's got the standard format down - intro paragraph, 3 graphs in the body, concluding paragraph, and each graph is about 3 sentences long. But she's worried about time. It's taking her 2 hours to write her sample essays, and she tells me she'll only have 30 minutes on the TOEFL. I'm hoping she can pick up her speed with practice, but any other advice? Is it better for her to stick to the standard format and risk only getting it half written? Or should she maybe cut down her paragraphs to 2 sentences each? Perhaps she should stop doing a rough draft and just go for it ... is it better to complete the essay and have more grammatical errors in it, or turn it in incomplete with fewer errors?

I'd be grateful for any advice from people familiar with the way these tests are evaluated. Thanks!
Brooke
(Email removed, please add it to your profile)

Re: Could you help me to correct this essay??

notwhy.whynot — Thu, 06 Jan 2005 03:39:12 GMT

By just briefly looking over it and not being much of an editor I found these:

1. "The TOEFL test is a test that measures the ability in English for both nonnative and native speakers who attend the university." -- You don't need "is a test that" because we know it's a test because you just told us. I think that changing the word order would improve clarity. Maybe trying "measures the ability of both non-native and native English speakers." The test is a nation wide test so you might want to change the last part of the sentance just to point out that it is used at your university.

2. "It requires in many colleges and universities as an admission for it." Should be "It is required..." You don't actually need "as an admission for it." Which consequently doesn't make sense. If you want something like it, maybe "for admission" instead.

3. "Moreover, it predicts how well the students do with the university level." change "with" to "on"

4. "In my opinion, TOEFL test is a good gate keeper to the university because it helps to improve the English language and it helps a lot in the profession in the future. " I'm not sure what you mean by 'gate keeper' but maybe that's my problem. What isn't solely just me is what you're trying to convey in the last part of this sentance. "it helps a lot in the profession in the future." Do you mean that it helps non-native speakers be professional? Clarify and work on the wording a bit.

5. The next sentance (first sentance in the second paragraph) is fine. One thing is that you either need to call the test "the TOEFL test" or "TOEFL tests." You can't say "TOEFL test" without an article in front of it (in this case, the).

6. 2nd sentance, same paragraph. Change "in" to "on" and you'll be fine. I would personally re-word the paper, but the meaning is clear and there are no obvious gramatical misstakes (to me).

7. "This might help them to pass the exam with satisfaction marks." You don't really need this sentance at all since you conveyed the message in the last sentance. If you choose to keep it, keep in mind that "satisfaction marks" might be changed to "high scores."

8. "So, their ability in tricky question probably be good for them. " This is plain and simple, a bad translation of your thought. What I think that you mean here is that in an attempt to get a good score on the test they might actually learn something. Try this sentance again. Inadvertently they learn better English by studying for the test.

9. "Moreover, students might catch the words correctly if they are good in listening. And this probably will lead them to be good listener in both in university and in a life." You already used the word "moreover" and while it's not an uncommon word, it's hardly ever used twice in the same essay. You might want to leave it out. As for the rest of the sentance needs a bit of revision. I think you're trying to point out that it also encourages practicing listening skills. Try to revise it by using better language (more consice) and cutting out the "in both in university and in a life." which you don't need. (by the way, that last part was incorrect anyways. You don't need to "ins" (let alone three) nor "a" because we know it's the students life you're talking about. It would be more correct to say "in both the university and life." Still, that is not a very good sentance part.

10. "However, students who not pass the TOEFL test will have another chance for doing exam again after repeating the level again. This way might help students to gain more practice and skills for the course that might help them to do best in the TOEFL. " Take out the However, you don't need it and it's repetative. You need a "do" after who. Students who DO not pass... "for doing exam" is incorrect and unnesessary. What do you mean by "level?" If you mean year in school in the United States that is usually called either "year in school" for college/university level or "grade" for High School. If you mean a class then simply say the TOEFL class or whatever it is called. The next part you don't need "way" in there. Take it out. Also you're using conditional language for the next sentance which you won't want to do. Retaking a year in school or a class (or whatever "level" you mean) will DEFINATELY give them more practice, so you might want to change "might" to a more definate "will." Saying "more practice and skills" is kind of repetative. You might want to either take out the "and skills" part or change it to show that they're praciticing skills. Honing skills is a good phrase you might want to look up/become familiar with. I don't think you mean they are gaining more practice for the course, but because of the course. so watch what you say in the middle there. Finally the end of paragraph two. "Best" needs to be changed to "better" or if you're saying they will do THEIR best then you need to put THEIR in there. It's not completely correct, but better. Also, change "in" at the end of that sentance to "on."

That concludes the first two paragraphs. Consider these suggestions and revise the whole thing and I'll look at the rest if I can.

You're doing very well, just keep it up! I hear English is one of the most difficult to learn because it makes very little sense. My heart goes out to you.

Re: Thank you for checking my self intriduction

anon1 — Wed, 20 Oct 2004 21:40:53 GMT

Hi kk,

My name is CHEN WANG-CHUN. I am a senior of ShihHsin University. I major in department of journalism. I am the youngest one in our family. My father is a labor who works in building. My mother runs a stall on a prosperous street. My elder brother works as a mechanic in plastic factory.
Unlike other classmates, I am a transfer student. I was a five-year student of technique school before enrolling ShihHsin University. I majored in electron in technique school, but I wasnât interested in it. Thus, I decided to take an exam of university transfer. Fortunately, I passed it after poring on my books.
Being a student in technique school, I went to school everyday and tried not to skip classes, but my attitude toward studying was like fishing in the troubled waters. The reason why I didnât imagine that I can be a university student. However, I passed the exam, and I have to grasp a unique opportunity to acquire further knowledge. The knowledge not only cultivates my critical thinking but also open my eyes. I have been studying at university for more than two years. I found attending university is vital process for my whole life.
I will graduate from ShihHsin University next June. It is about time I have to think what to do in the near future. I have decided to study abroad after contemplating. Before studying in the United States, I must get high scores on TOEFL and GREâS examination. Besides schoolâs homework, I learn English day and night. I find it difficult for non-native English speaker to master English very well. I told myself if I want to study in America and survive, I will have to overcome language barrier. Even though there will many gigantic challenges wait for me to encounter, I am full of confidences to accept and overcome them. Only through surmounting all blocks I will run into, can I become a worthy man.

I am not sure what the purpose is of this introduction. That will determine how you write you introduction.

Your first paragraph needs to be rewritten. Decide if you want to talk about your family or your university studies.

My name is CHEN WANG-CHUN. I am a senior of ShihHsin University. I major in department of journalism. I am the youngest one in our family. My father is a labor who works in building. My mother runs a stall on a prosperous street. My elder brother works as a mechanic in plastic factory. rewrite

Unlike other classmates, I am a transfer student. I was a five-year student AT THE technique school before enrolling ShihHsin University. I majored in electronICS AT THE technique school, but I wasnât interested in it. Thus, I decided to take an exam FOR A university transfer. Fortunately, I passed it after poUring OVER my books.

Being a student AT A technique school, I went to school everyday and tried not to skip classes, but my attitude toward studying was POOR. The reason why I didnât imagine that I can be a university student.[Not sure what you mean] However, I passed the exam, and I have to TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF THE unique opportunity to acquire further knowledge. The knowledge not only SHARPENS my critical thinking but also openS my eyes TO NEW POSSIBILITIES. I have been studying at university for more than two years. I found attending university is vital process for my whole life.[This last sentence needs work. I don't understand its meaning. You might delete it? Also, you should revise this paragraph a bit.]

I will graduate from ShihHsin University next June. AFTER thinkING ABOUT MY future, I have decided to study abroad. Before studying in the United States, I must get high scores on TOEFL and GREâS examination. Besides COMPLETING MY NORMAL homework, I STUDIED English day and night. I find it difficult for non-native English speaker to master English well. I told myself if I want to study in America and survive, I MUST overcome THE language barrier. Even though I WIL HAVE MANY gigantic (or SEVERE--I would just use "challenges" without an adjective) challenges, I confident that I WILL overcome them AND GO ON TO PROSPER (or something like that).

Notes:

1) technique school should probably be "technical school"?

2) For a person who is learning English, you write amazingly well.

MountainHiker

Re: Help for motivation letter for university studies

nat.lotusflower — Tue, 19 Oct 2004 07:53:31 GMT

Good morning!

Could you please explain better what do you mean with âseem to lack focus with no specific messageâ.
Maybe I know what you mean, we in South America have a different approach to issues, we are much more indirect and talk around the bush. Please tell me where I did it then I can try to improve, because what might seem clear to you, itâs something I cannot see. I have to learn how to think in the Anglo-Saxon way, as they expect it during my studies.

You would like to see an outline. I saw the NadinesÂ´ and DungÂ´s posts and it was my outline:

Paragraphs:

1) Who I am and why IÂ´m writting for.
IÂ´m Brazilian, something interesting for an international course. IÂ´m european, so the Uni doesnÂ´t have to bother with all the requirements for visas. Brazilian and Lithuanian is a mixture that they might never have seen before and then they will keep in mind who I am among 500 candidates.

2, 3, 4) Background
They donÂ´t want to see a CV and I think I have a quite successful history to tell. (I donÂ´t want they to think that joining this master is my last chance in life) Apart from that, I thought that I could prove that IÂ´m commited to what I do using examples to illustrate it. Maybe I over explained it, but I feel that they donÂ´t know anything about my studies and some people underestimate the study and work in my country.

5, 6, 7) Why can I cope with their PBL system and why did I choose them?
I have experienced the PBL
The uni is well reputated im my Country
The course is in English and It will improve my skills
The city is a lovely place to live
The company were I work is supporting me and my studies, I have a chance to make a career there afterwards
IÂ´ve searched and dreamed about it. Passion!!! ItÂ´s my dream to join this University!

I agree with you that I have to improve urgently my English in the letter and the way I express my ideas in general. IÂ´ve been studying English very hard for the tests. IÂ´ve taken the Toefl test already because the classes will be in English. They also asked for the GMAT test, which I also took some weeks ago.

I appreciate very much your help and I hope you can help me to further develop my letter.

Greetings
Nat

Re: structure problems ,please HELP !thanks a lot

anon1 — Sat, 31 Jul 2004 02:19:55 GMT

OK, MR mountainhiker,i am preparing for the writing essay of TOEFL test designed by ETS(from USA) and there only remains 20 days to the test date.here are 2 structures i often use in my essay:1.stands for the first structure.2.stands for the second one

1st Form

the first paragraph:

it goes without saying that _________(a general statement). as to the question _______(the question the essay topic asked), i am of the opinion that _______(my point of view)

the second paragraph:first of all_________________(give my first reason)

the third paragraph:the second irreplaceable advantage i have to mention is ________(give another reason)

the fourth paragraph:last but not least__________(the last reason)

the final paragraph:in view of the above facts,hardly can we deny that____________(conclusion)

2.the balanced-view topic essay,

just like"when famous people such as actors ,athletes and rock stars give their opinions, many people listen.

do you think we should pay attention to these opinions? use specific reasons and examples to support your answer"

Can i use this structure:

the first paragraph:
when it comes to the question whether we should pay attention to celebrities" opinions. some people hold that_____(one kind of viewpoint),but the others , on the other hand ,insist that ______(the other kind of viewpoint). as far as i am concerned, i am of the opinion that we should strike a balance between the two opinions depending on the specific situations.

the second para:it is undeniable that those famous people have experienced various bitters and sorrows in their life-time,and we can learn a lot from their rich experience. _______ (state that we should sometimes pay attention to their understanding of life and attitudes towards some social problems)

the third para:however, they are not experts in every field, and their speech may contain some biases towards something, so we can not adhere to their own opinions all the time. ______(state that we should sometimes ignore their attitudes)

the final para: all in all,we should keep in mind we can not believe everything the famous people said while absorb their essence in thier speech ,so that we can_______(conclusion) so what about my structures,is is appropriate for american way of thinking? thank you very much!

I hope you don't mind I broke it up a bit so I could digest it easier. One more small request, please use capital letters at the beginning of sentences. It really helps me to pick up things more quickly.

Okay, so now let's address your questions.

1) Can you use the second structure? Sure, I think you can. It looks good to me.

2) Your general structure looks fine to me, though I would be writing a different essay. If I were given the same task, I would question as to why a celebrity has any more expertise in a different field than the average person does. But this isn't the question you are asking. If you argue your viewpoints as you have given them here, I think you should do fine. Am I answering your question?

I am going to repeat and revise your second structure.

2.the balanced-view topic essay,

Topic: Many people listen to the opinions of famous people such as actors, athletes, and rock stars.

Question: Do you think we should pay attention to their opinions? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

1st Para:

When it comes to the question whether we should value celebrities' opinions, some people insist that_____(one kind of viewpoint), while the others insist that ______(the other kind of viewpoint). [I like to see lots of parallel structure. A does this, B does that.] As far as I am concerned, I believe that we should strike a balance between the two opinions that will depend on the specific situation.

2nd Para:

It is undeniable that those famous people have experienced various bitters and sorrows [or highs and lows] during their lives, and we can learn a lot from their rich experiences. _______ (state that we should sometimes pay attention to their understanding of life and attitudes towards some social problems.)

3rd para:

However, they are not experts in every field, and their opinions [you started in para 1 with opinions] may contain biases, so we should not follow their opinions without our own serious consideration. ______(state that we should sometimes ignore their attitudes)

Final para:

All in all [I like "In summary" better--just my bias], we should keep in mind that we can not believe everything famous people while we consider the essence of their opinion, [here I am lost] so that we can_______(conclusion).

So what about my structures, is it appropriate for american way of thinking? thank you very much!

As mentioned above, I think you are doing okay as far as your structure is concerned. Obviously you need to develop your essay more, but the general outline is solid. You also need to have examples. We tend to support our argument with the use of examples. Give me examples where a celebrity has made a huge difference outside of his specialty. For example, Bono of rock band U2 has done tremendous work for Africa. Give us an example of where a celebrity has no clue about what he or she is talking about. This latter request is probably more difficult because most people don't speak up unless they have at least some level of knowledge and familiarity with the issue.

Am I answering your question?