Re: some examples on the old Toefl practice test

Belly — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:57:14 GMT

There was a typo: setence 3 was instead of were. But these are exact sentences in the explanation division of the book (means the correct version), and no underline

Re: Please correct me with the essay

Mister Micawber — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 08:51:15 GMT

1) What should I replace my work with?-- No title is required for TOEFL essays; if you need a title, it should announce to the reader the topic of your essay.

2)
the parentless children-- these are not previously mentioned or specific children
make their lives better -- what English word means 'make...better'?
people (why did you underline here?). -- What word is more specific?
measure I will(why did you underline here?). -- Only one measure? And verb form is not consistent.

3)
normally(why did you underline here?).-- Orphanhood is normal??
lead miserable lives due to(why did you underline here?).-- Strictly, 'due to' is an adjective; use a synonym.
the lack of education and materials (why did you underline here?). -- wrong word
However, before we did all the (why did you underline here?).-- wrong verb form
A charity fund might well be operated(why did you underline here? Can I replace it with "opened?") -- Yes, wrong word; use 'opened' or a synonym.
make them pay at all costs(why did you underline here?).-- Idiom is wrong here, and redundant: taxes are mandatory by nature
The tax can be fluctuating(why did you underline here?).-- wrong verb form
It's time the government... emphasize the essay, why would you say it was extraneous?-- That is not emphasis; it is beside the point; the essay is about what you would do, not what the government should do

4)To sum up, I-the governor(why did you underline here?).-- Wrong punctuation, new title, unnecessary appositive
Everyone bears in their minds(why did you underline here?) - the idiom is incorrectly formed
that even orphans have the(why did you underline here?).--no previous mention, no specificity

NOTE: If you want to continue this revision, please post a clean, revised copy for my review, Belly.

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Re: some examples on the old Toefl practice test

Re: Please correct me with the essay