Search results for 'tag:Universities tag:Colons' matching tags 'Universities' and 'Colons'

Re: please help my with my motivation letter

ferpectedit — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 07:08:19 GMT

I won't do the whole letter, but I will do an edit of the first paragraph (including the salutation). Here's my edit.

To The Selection Committee:

I recently graduated from the Universidad Autonoma de Yucatan with a ___degree in __ __. The past few years I have been working on different projects related to nanoscience in a collaboration of my university with the applied physics department of the CIVESTAV-IPN. I had the opportunity to present some of my results in different international conferences, giving me the opportunity to see how fast the fields of nanoscience and nanotechnology are growing.

Never assume that everyone on the committee is a man--and always put a colon after a salutation on a business letter. If the degree was a Master's or Ph.D., say so. I don't recognize your field (which might be my shortcoming), so double-check the name for the type of engineering degree you have. You should also explain (even if you just give the full or English name) what CIVESTAV-IPN is. Good luck!

Re: colon dash

richard_s — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 21:35:26 GMT

'I hate him so much, he killed my dog' is a comma splice. Â This is considered bad punctuation; though many native speakers write like this without worrying about the fact that it's a comma splice. Â You have to put in the subordinator 'as' or 'because' to join those two clauses.

A comma spliceÂ is when two independent clauses are separated by a comma. Â You must separate independent clauses by coordinators, semicolons, orÂ full-stops.

Of course punctuation is a matter of personal style in the end. Â The rules are dictated by publishing companies, universities, and these days by the ELT industry, all of whom would claim that the above punctuation was a comma splice.

Re: tense checking

Grammar Geek — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 02:04:10 GMT

Hello Anonymous,

Usually, a paragraph has related sentences. These are very random.

Today is *** 16th. Tomorrow is *** 17th.Okay, but "Today it is is August 25th, and tomorrow it will be the 26th" is a more common way to say this.

If I sleep one more day, I will be meeting my nephew who will be visiting us from the Phillipines.Very odd. Tomorrow, I will get to see my nephew, who will be visiting...

He has been studying there for two years now and he is coming for a month vacation.Okay in tense. A month's vacation or a month-long vacation.

I am starting to work on my two-month project on ~~today~~ this afternoon;, and when my nephew gets here, I will probably have finished half the project.Tenses are okay. You can finish half of a two-month project in one day?

I will probably have to spend some time with my nephew during his two-month vacation and that will likely delay my completion of the project -- how long a delay, I couldn't guess now -- and I should think about which is more important: spending time with my nephew or completing my project on time.This is fine - and very complicated. Good job on this one.

Hhew ??, this is going to be a difficult choice. But come to think of it, it's easy -- you can use a colon here too if I don't complete my project on time, I will not pass the course and that could have a drastic effect on my plan to go to the prestigious *** University; on the other hand, I will probably have many chances see my nephew and go out with him over the years ahead.Okay.

Yes, I have made the choice and that is to finish the project on time.

Re: College Application Essay In Need Of Serious Help(I BEG THAT YOU WILL HELP)

Grammar Geek — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 18:52:52 GMT

Hi Collegebound,

Welcome to the forums. Overall, you have a good essay. Stop worrying about your paragraphs. However, I 'm not sure what the topic was that Wisconsin asked for. Where did you put it?

As vice president of my Catholic schoolâs multi-cultural student union, I have learned, first hand, the great things diversity can bring to a school and the many things that can be accomplished with you can also use "through" here determination, organization, and leadership.

For the first two years I was involved in the multi-cultural student union, there was no clear initiative. We had one or two teachers monitoring our âprogressâ and not enough people attending monthly meetings. We were pretty much getting nowhere and everyone was fully aware of it. I was tired of wasting my time coming to the meetings and not getting anything accomplished. It was at that moment you talk about "two years" but you say "at that moment." So you need to tell us more about what "that moment" was. that I took a decisive move. I sat down with a fellow member; we elaborated pick a different word here on ways to develop the union, organized officer positions, and developed a set theme on which the union would forever be based on: incorporating our Catholic faith into our endeavors. This sentence gets quite long with your semi-colon before and then the colon. Both are used correctly, but you may want to think about how you could break this into two sentences. This would be the only way we would gain any respect and recognition from the rest of the community Which community? Your school?. With a more organized platform and determined leaders, we ~~had finally~~ established a foundation on which we would soon expand.

In only a yearâs time, I helped bring many of the minority students together, planned day trips that gave us time to learn about each others possessive - you need a ' different cultures, had the opportunity to hear people speak about the many obstacles they have faced just for being different, and have you changed tense here met with local universities that have given me tips on how to maintain our efforts for years to come. While I feel that I have helped set up a solid foundation for the union, I know there is still a lot to be done. My final project for the union is to work with my schools possessive - you need a ' admissions office on ways to not only increase the percentage of minority students, but also come up with ways for the academic advisors help them to excel in the most challenging courses. I feel that this dream is obtainable considering all that Iâve achieved already. You may want to use we here instead of I

Through the multi-cultural student union, I have learned how to work and cooperate with people of different cultures, I have lost a lot of my previous stereotypes, and have learned perhaps developed a lot values that will carry me into my adult life You will carry the values; they won't carry you. The biggest lesson I learned through the union, though, is good leadership skills can carry you've just used "carry" so change one of them you a long way. Before the union existed, we ~~the~~ minorities were just individuals representing our different nationalities, but when we came together with a common goal and with good leadership, we accomplished things that people never expected. I have never ~~in such a way~~ seen my leadership and organization skills exemplify exemplify what? in such a remarkable way. This is starting to sound a little "braggy." I'd leave this last one out. My accomplishments have given me the confidence to tackle anything that might have seemed too challenging before this experience -- this is just a suggestion. I know that if given the opportunity to attend the University of Wisconsin, I can enhance a lot of students possesive again learning experience by introducing them to principles that I was fortunate enough to discover. I feel like you kind of fizzle out here. What about saying instead that if you attend UW, you will look for other opportunties to apply what you ahve learned to improve your college own experience and the experience of others, or something like that?

Good luck!

Re: some questions including use of colon

Clive — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 15:40:02 GMT

Hi,

After a fake academic degree scandal of Ms.Shin, a former professor at Dongguk University, is exposed, a continual coming out of celebritiesâ âfake degreeâ is following like domino effect : Ms.Yunâs confession that she hasnât attended Ewha Univ. is also one of the case.

1) Does 'scandal' sound proper in this sentence? It should mean a socially shocking incident. Yes. But you don't really 'expose' a scandal.

2) Does 'is following like domino effect' make sense? If you mean that each one causes the next one.

3) Did I use colon right way? I think you are packing too much into one sentence.

4) Is this sentence clearly understandable? I would write it as follows. Note the tenses.

Since the reporting of the scandal about the academic degree faked by Ms.Shin, a former professor at Dongguk University, there has been a continual 'outing' of other celebrities with fake degrees, like a domino effect. Ms. Yunâs confession that she did not attend Ewha Univ. is one such case.

Best wishes, Clive

some questions including use of colon

Ahn — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 12:06:10 GMT

1) Does 'scandal' sound proper in this sentence? It should mean a socially shocking incident.

2) Does 'is following like domino effect' make sense?

3) Did I use colon right way?

4) Is this sentence clearly understandable?

I feel I asked too much in one post.

I'll appreciate every correction to my sentence.

Re: Please help with motivation letter

Triquediqual — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 14:58:48 GMT

Mimoi2 wrote:
Does anyone have any suggestions for this motivation letter? Anything would be really appreciated!

Name

Address1

Address2

Phone

Date

To Whom It May Concern: I would put a comma after the Concern rather than the semi-colon.

With this letter I would like to express my interest in a position in the Global Risk Talent Programme. I am a graduate of the University of Florida. I graduated with a Bachelorâs degree in Electrical engineering in 2002, and a Masterâs degree in Electrical engineering in 2004. After careful thought and consideration, I <Omit the Have>decided to undergo a career change. I am now in the process of becoming an associate actuary. I am originally from Suriname, which is in South America, and I speak fluent Dutch and English. You keep on saying " I am", I think you should vary between "I'm and I am", eg. I'm originally from Suriname.

What attracted me to engineering was the amount of mathematics involved. Math and numbers have always been my first passion. Recently I became more interested in using my math skills in other ways, in particular I have become interested in the Actuary sciences. I am a highly analytical person, and when it comes to problem solving I am as good, or better than anyone else. I <Omitted> started the process of becoming an associate actuary by studying for the first two exams (Probability and Financial Mathematics) and by starting the process of VEE credits by taking Economics, Accounting, Finance, and Probability classes while also employed full-time. My first actuary exam is in November and the second one is in December of this year. I am confident that I will pass both examinations on the first try. I believe that my education in electrical engineering has sharpened my analytical skills, and has challenged me to always give my all and perform well. I believe the design methodologies that I have mastered during my education will prove to be extremely useful in analyzing and managing risks. Again, you keep saying "I am", vary with " I'm". You also keep on saying "I.....<word> have" a lot and should be varied as you repeat yourself over and over here, and you like to use the word "that" in conjunction with "I am" as well a lot and it becomes repetitive and dull to read. Apart from this, you have the paragraph spot on I think.

What attracts me to the field of Risk analysis are the challenges involved. Challenge is what motivates me. The more complex the problem, the more motivated I am to solve it, and the more motivated I am, the more positive the outcome. During my education, it has always been the Mathematics courses and the Statistics Courses for which I received Aâs. Out of the six mathematics courses I took, I had 5 Aâs and 1 B+, while I had Aâs for both Statistics courses I took in college. I believe this will pay off in the risk management and analysis industry. My long-term goal is to become a Fellow of the Society of Actuaries, specializing in the financial industry, particularly in Insurance. I realize this will take a few years to achieve, but I'm willing to put more of my time and energy into it, because I've finally found something that I will truly enjoy. To me there is nothing more exciting than having to work on complex, analytical and mathematical problems as part of your career. I believe that being part of the Global Risk Talent Progamme at company1 will be a major factor in achieving my goals by giving me hands on experience and training in the field. I am particularly interested in the Finance industry because everything around us in this world revolves around Finances. Insurance particularly interests me, because that is societyâs most powerful answer for managing risk. The same problems exist here with I am, I have, I believe I whatever. Don't get me wrong it's not a major problem but if you look at the adjustment of "I've above, it comes off the tongue easier than having a lot of little scrambled words which makes the sentence sound better. Like I said, it's nothing to worry about. It's still grammatically correct.

Through living in the United States and growing up in Suriname, I have become fluent in English and Dutch. For these reasons I am entirely capable of integrating and working/studying in a multicultural environment such as company1. The University of Florida emphasizes team work, especially in a program like electrical engineering. Florida is also a very multi-cultural state and these experiences taught me to listen to people, to develop my leadership skills, and to take into consideration cultural differences.

You have already stated your fluent in English and Dutch.

Company1 represents the perfect environment for a young motivated woman who wishes to enter the finance sector. Company1 also embraces values to which I can relate and in which I can further enhance my skills. Company1's international position also represents an opportunity and an experience that I would like to be part of.
Nothing wrong here me thinks.

Overall, not a bad written letter, and you have made your point sufficiently. I think the problems I have listed should be taken with a grain of salt although I just didn't like reading the repetitive remarks constructed.

As for layout, it's superb. You have made sufficient conclusions and beginnings in the opening and concluding paragraphs and the in-between paragraphs have suitable points and finish the letter off brilliantly.

Hope that helps,

Triquediqual

Re: [URGENT] GREAT BRITAIN: job application in London - cover letter

nona the brit — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 11:46:54 GMT

corrections in bold and other areas you need to look at are highlighted for you. Watch out for the length of your sentences. You tend to run on and try to connect too many ideas and are not using enough commas.

Dear Sir or Madam (US uses colon, UK uses comma or nothing after salutation)

This letter is to express my interest in the ZZZZ/YYYY position within your GGGG/HHHH Team listed on http://www.YYYYYYYY.co.uk (Recruiter Ref: YYYYYY). I earned an Economics Masterâs degree in September 2006 from the the YYYYYYYY University, Berlin. I graduated within the top 10 of my class and last year this university won the title 'Elite University' in a German-wide excellence initiative. The department of economics is ranked 5^th in Europe and 2^nd in Germany.

The advertisement said you seek someone who is passionate about the fixed income market and is able to work independently to produce accurate, detailed materials while meeting tight deadlines. Analyzing the events that influence the world economy as well as the fixed income market is my passion. Due to my stock market activities, mainly on the French small and mid-cap market primarily using fundamental analysis combined with technical analysis, I was able to finance my entire studies. In 2005, as well as in 2006, I generated an after-tax return of about 60% per year.

During my studies I gained placement experience in several well-known companies, where I often did accurate and self-reliant research and analysis work and prepared exact decision memos (?). My academic focus on empirical economic research and on transition economics helped me a lot in developing strong analytical and quantitative skills by using the right tools.

My work experience and extracurricular activities as a member of the stock market group of the University of Berlin are the best proof that I am quick to learn, a strong team player, and also able to work effectively alone. I am eager to learn more about the position at Johnnyâs Bank & Co., and I look forward to meeting with you. My curriculum vitae is enclosed.

Thank you for taking the time to review my application.

Yours sincerely,

Johnny Cash

Re: Being or Is

Sabyakgp — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 12:27:26 GMT

Thanks Barbara,

I seached for "comma splice" on the Internet after I saw your reply and consulted a book on punctuation (By Oxford University Press). What I understood is "comma splice" is a common error that most of the people often make.

The book said "It's not normally correct to join the clauses of a compund sentence without a conjunction (the so-called "comma splice").

For example,

*His was the last house,the road ended with him

Now this could be corrected as

His was the last house, and the road ended with him.

His was the last house; the road ended with him.

As you suggested this can also be corrected as

His was the last house, the road being ended with him (Please correct me if i am wrong).

His was the last house, the road ending with him (Please correct me if i am wrong).

So we have three ways to correct "comma splice" 1) put a conjunction 2) put semicolon 3) use -ing clause.

I have one more question.

In the below sentence.

Kim is an actor, Pat is a teacher, and Tim is an engineer.

In this case, can it be a case of "comma splice" and corrected as

Kim is an actor, and Pat is a teacher, and Tim is an engineer.

Could you please calrify my doubts.

Thanks,

Sabya

Re: Semicolon

Pinenut — Wed, 17 May 2006 18:44:03 GMT

Art2 wrote:
I am unsure if this sentence is using semicolons properly. Any tips you can give me would be appreciated.

While at University, my major was computer science. I am familiar with the software development process; from requirements gathering, through design, implementation, testing, documentation, and maintenance; working both individually and in a group setting.

Thank you!
Art

I don't think so. A semi-colon is used in a sentence instead of 'and' or a full stop. A colon is often used to introduce a list.

I am familiar with the software development process : requirements gathering, design, implementation, testing, documentation, and maintenance. I can work both individually and in a group setting.